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The [Friday] Papers

"Somehow Guillen is above .500 with a team that doesn't hit and has been outscored by 13 runs," the Tribune's Phil Rogers writes in his "All-City Team" preview of the Cubs-Sox series that begins today.

"Piniella, meanwhile, is below .500 with a team that has outscored its opponents by 26 runs. Bill James' Pythagorean standings had the Cubs only gone game behind Milwaukee after Wednesday but the real standings show a gap of seven games after Thursday. So far Piniella isn't having as much of an impact in his first season in Chicago as his predecessor, Dusty Baker, did in his."


Dusty in the Wind
The Beachwood's very own Cub Factor, in fact, has determined that Dusty Baker would be managing this team very differently from Lou Piniella - but with the same result.

Look for a new Cub Factor on Monday for insight on this weekend's series that you won't find anywhere else. The Cub Factor, the world's best Cubs column, brought to you exclusively by The Beachwood Reporter. Tell your friends all about it.

Crosstown Expressions
"Sox, Cubs Fans Urged To Take CTA."

By each other. Things have gotten mean.

Law School
"Miller Calls 'Man Law' Ads Mistake."

No kidding. I thought those were for Budweiser.

Bike Blast
"Floyd Landis' sleepy, scientific arbitration hearing on his doping case morphed into a pulp-fiction blockbuster Thursday, replete with revelations of sexual abuse, allegations of threatening phone calls and even a Donald Trump-style firing," the AP reports.

"It came courtesy of Landis' fellow American Tour de France champion Greg LeMond, who disclosed he had been sexually abused as a child and received a call Wednesday from Landis' manager who threatened to reveal the secret if LeMond showed up to testify."

Falwell Farewell
"Who knows whether, at this moment, the Rev. Falwell is polishing one of the many crowns he's stored up in heaven from his good work for the kingdom on Earth, or is on day three of his seminar with Jesus about what the Gospel really meant and how the reverend had royally screwed up the message?" Sun-Times religion columnist Cathleen Falsani writes today. "Only God is privy to that kind of insight."

Tax Break
"Meanwhile," the Sun-Times reports at the bottom of a ComEd story, "Mayor Daley said legislative leaders are prepared to deliver for schools and mass transit, but only if Blagojevich drops his pre- and post-election threat to veto income or sales tax hikes."

Is opportunity staring the governor in the face?

Olympic Gamble
Maybe this is how the Olympics will be funded.

Generation Veneration
"As Medal of Honor winner Al Lynch sees it, the me-first generation is 'one generation away' from losing the freedoms it takes for granted," the Sun-Times reports.

He's got that right. Thank God Bush and Cheney can't run again.

Correction of the Week
"A Metro story on Page 13 on Saturday incorrectly described the intentions of participants in the entertainment event 'Looptopia,' who said they were going to see the ponies. The reference was to a music group, The Ponys."

- Tribune, May 15

Bar None
"AP: World's Top Dive Site To Get A Face Lift."

"Malaysia's Sipadan Island, widely regarded as one of the world's top dive sites, is set to get a face lift, a senior official said following criticism that its facilities were falling into disrepair."

Oh. I expected a story about the Beachwood's new front door.

- Tim Willette

Borrowed Time
The Sun-Times's credit is worse than yours; they can't get a loan and business writer Bob Reed sees layoffs in the future.

Monkey Business
"We're got news for you, and you'll want to sit down for this one," Metromix reports this month. "A restaurant just opened in Gurnee that's - wait for it - not a chain. We're completely and utterly serious. Allow us the pleasure of introducing you to Monkey Dish Bar & Grille . . .

"'Monkey dish' is a culinary term for a small bowl used for side dishes, and while the origin of the name is foggy (The appropriate sized bowl to feed monkeys? Looks like those little hats that a hurdy-gurdy man's monkey would wear?), you'll find the little saucers filled with mashed sweet potatoes or corn pudding here. Mostly, it's just a fun, off-the-wall name, says David Potesta, who owns Monkey Dish with Phil Marienthal (formerly of Blue Mesa and Canoe Club)."

Also, according to Wikipedia: "Dish monkey is a slang phrase for an employee of a restaurant who washes dishware, typically a minimum wage position where workers are not well treated."

- Tim Willette

Poor Product Placement
A citizen of Beachwood Nation reports that on Tuesday "at approximately 6:11 p.m., WBBM-AM ran a piece that included sound bites from Juan Luna's victim's families.The piece concluded with the story of Luna killing a cat by dragging it from a car. This story was immediately followed by . . . a Luna Carpet commercial."

Banning Bernstein
Tim Willette, following-up on yesterday's "Score Card" item (last in column), reports that, in fact, CBS Radio has forbidden Score host Dan Bernstein from speaking actual words on the air. He responded yesterday:

mip clatorka?
pfin pflangeer pflugarenck
horzabloo wa virteembo
increplaquil fruoreyor
morta . . . beujapumb

"Fulton Market is aglow, literally, with the arrival of new lounge Lumen (Latin for 'light)," Metromix reports this month. "Once home to a meat-packing factory, the 5,000-square-foot space now resembles more of an art gallery . . . "

Still, appropriate name for a former meathouse!

From Wikipedia -

"Lumen: The interior of a vessel within the body, such as the small central space in an artery or vein, or any of their relating vessels through which blood flows . . . On a larger scale, the interior of the gastrointestinal tract may also be referred to as its lumen . . . "

- Tim Willette

"When 'Bad' Is Good"
"The Oxygen cable network is holding an open casting call Saturday for season two of the reality series The Bad Girls Club," the Sun-Times reports. " If you consider yourself a bad girl, head for Goose Island, 1800 N. Clybourn, between 10 a.m. and 5 p.m."

Tomorrow's headline: "Guys Flock to Goose Island."

- Tim Willette

Inside Today's Reporter
* A drag racer's daughters hold an anger management intervention.
* Behold the Swivel Sweeper!
* Brit Hume: Atheist or Druid?
* Cab #5063 will get you there quickly if you don't mind a little bumper-curb.

From the Archives:
* A Beachwood Guide to Chicago's New Charter Schools.

The Beachwood Tip Line: Charter a new course.


Posted on May 18, 2007

MUSIC - Holiday Hullabaloo.
POLITICS - Bank Profits Soaring.
SPORTS - Chicago vs. Michigan, 1903.

BOOKS - Dia De Los Muertos Stories.

PEOPLE PLACES & THINGS - Chicagoetry: West Town Blues.

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