The [Friday] Papers

So the song I'm posting here used to be on the Beachwood jukebox, two different selections, "This Beat Goes On" and "Switchin' to Glide." Only amateurs failed to play both, and in the right order. Those who didn't do it right were roundly jeered.

And because it was two different selections, there was a pause in between each section. Those of us who sang along - meaning every regular in the place - knew when the pause came, and for just how long it lasted. It was a thing of beauty. This is what life is about, people.

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One day I realized I didn't even own the song, so I went online and found a way to order the CD. A few days later I get a phone call:

ME: Hello?

Unknown Voice: Hi, it's Zero from the Kings.

ME: What?

Unknown Voice: It's Zero from the Kings. I just wanted to tell you I just put your CD in the mail.

ME:

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It really was Zero - also known as Mister Zero - from the Kings. He was the guitar player. In "Switchin' to Glide," one lyric goes "Me and Zero request you in the Mercedes!"

Gold.

I had no idea I was ordering directly from the band. There was no indication of that.

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Me and Zero ended up having a long talk - about the music industry, about the Chicago scene, about Toronto, where he was calling from. ("Hey little Donna, ah still wanna
You said to ring you up when I was in Toronto.")

We exchanged numbers - well, we already had them given the nature of cellphones - but still, we formally did, though I've never had another conversation with him since.

I went to the bar that night very excited. "Zero called me! Zero from the Kings!" His number has survived the transfer of my contacts through three cellphones. I still have it today, if it's still his number. I should give him a call. If only I could do so from the Beachwood.

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I had a ton of material I was going to write up for the column today, but I'm sick of it all. Trump, Rauner, Rahm. Fuck 'em. Republicans, Democrats, they're all monsters. I had reason to send this video to a friend the other day, and then to a couple of Beachwood alums. This is all I care about right now. Turn it up to 12, because even 11 won't do.

"This channel is run by The Kings and we try and respond to every comment so keep 'em coming . . . This is the incredible video made by The Kings . . . from over 40 sources and took over 140 hours to edit."

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Beachwood Photo Booth: Don't Look Back
Something might be gaining on you.

Are We Monsters?
Yes.

Beachwood Sports Radio: Are The Cubs The 1985 Bears?
World Series hangover. Plus: White Sox Back To Rebuilding; Ronnie Woo-Woo Banned From Wrigley Field Along With Other Nonpaying Customers; The Problem With Mitch Trubisky's Honda Accord; and Bastian Schweinsteiger Already Fed Up With Quality Of MLS - Just Two Months After His Move From Manchester United.

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The Week In Chicago Rock
Featuring: The Jesus And Mary Chain, Fruit Bats, Margaret Dollrod's Heartthrob Chassis, Denny Laine, Opeth, Gojira, Devin Townsend, Robbie Krieger, and Breaking Benjamin.

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BeachBook

To The Next U.S. President, The Unlimited Power To Spy, Imprison And Kill. ( The Next President Is Here.)

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Life After The White House: Obama Just Launched His First Drone Strike As A Civilian.

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The Problem With Saul Alinsky.

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McDonald's Ups Payout To Upgrade Franchises.

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Bear In Tree In Central Wisconsin Town.

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TweetWood
A sampling.

It's been an astonishing day in America, and it's 8:34 am.

— Daniel Dale (@ddale8) May 12, 2017

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Escalating Tensions Lead Trump To Shake Up Inner Circle Of TV Programs https://t.co/XpC1I0BWiT pic.twitter.com/M0I8eVOMJ6

— The Onion (@TheOnion) May 11, 2017

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pic.twitter.com/YfAlc9LjNq

— Beachwood Reporter (@BeachwoodReport) May 12, 2017

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Stop this. Headlines like start from the assumption that "voter fraud" exists and helps the administration with its toxic messaging. RESIST. pic.twitter.com/nVCeGlj388

— Stacey Burns (@WentRogue) May 12, 2017

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IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME TO HAVE SHITTY POLITICS BECAUSE I READ THE ATLANTIC AND I LIVE IN A CITY AND I HAE A BIKE AND YIMBY

— Dick Florida (@Dick_Florida) May 11, 2017

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"Did an editor dreamed up this story in their head w/no relation to reality?" "Will it play well to office politics?" "Can it be done 2day?" https://t.co/14XcBa8ReA

— Beachwood Reporter (@BeachwoodReport) May 11, 2017

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This Is Sporty, The Chicago Doggo Who Walks Himself Like A Boss https://t.co/QDvLyt0UH0 I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT'S REAL ANYMORE

— Beachwood Reporter (@BeachwoodReport) May 12, 2017

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Those passengers doing nothing are congressional Republicans.

! cover of the @NewYorker is Sessions dragging Comey off a plane pic.twitter.com/phZPJRQWgR

— Bradd Jaffy (@BraddJaffy) May 11, 2017

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The Beachwood Tronc Line: Among the bushes.

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