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The [Friday] Papers

You know how people use the Biblical saying "Judge not, lest ye be judged" in order to admonish those who judge others? I'm not sure how effective that is. Because what if, for example, you don't mind being judged? I judge in this space every day, and if the consequence is for me to be judged in return, I say let it rip. This is still a democracy, not a theocracy, at least for now.

We can all learn anew today, though, that religion is as full of politics as any other money-raising, membership-oriented, real estate-investing, secular venture. After all, the latest Jesus-Judas news is so very Chicago, isn't it?

And by the way, let me add: Report not, lest ye be reported.

Judging Judas
"An early Christian manuscript, including the only known text of what is known as the Gospel of Judas, has surfaced after 1,700 years," reports The New York Times, among other various news organizations on this story since it broke yesterday. "The text gives new insights into the relationship of Jesus and the disciple who betrayed him, scholars reported today. In this version, Jesus asked Judas, as a close friend, to sell him out to the authorities, telling Judas he will "exceed" the other disciples by doing so."

Revelations to come:

Infamous 18 1/2-Minute Watergate Gap Found: Nixon Is Deep Throat

Clubhouse Video: Selig Injected Bonds In The Ass With Steroids

Diary Revelation: Aniston Asked Jolie To Take Pitt Off Her Hands

Court Papers: Leak-Hating President Authorized Aide to Leak

Oh, that last one is real.

Judge Sneed
Illinois Supreme Court Judge Mary Ann McMorrow and her pal, Anne Burke, proved themselves worthy of the Good Ol' Boys Club this week with a sneaky manuever proving our judicial branch isn't all that.

Both Chicago metros editorialize on the move today, but the Chicago Tribune's entry is particularly noteworthy because of its observation that Burke "uses a local gossip columnist to steer policy debates and made concerted efforts to discredit former DCFS Director Jess McDonald, who did more to bring stability and professionalism to the department than any director in decades. McDonald had not reacted as Burke and her husband, Ald. Edward Burke (14th), had wanted during their disputed quest to adopt a foster child."

The gossip columnist is Michael Sneed, of the Chicago Sun-Times. The Tribune should have named Sneed, rather than leave its less in-the-know readers guessing. And Sneed should cut it out, or lose her job.

It hasn't escaped notice, by the way, that Republican gubernatorial candidate Judy Baar Topinka is in Sneed's Good Ol' Boys Club too (as is George and Lura Lynn Ryan and, strangely, Fidel Castro).

The least the Sun-Times could do is give Gov. Rod Blagojevich--and anyone who goes up against Anne Burke--a personal columnist too.

UPDATE 2:17 p.m.: A faithful reader wonders if Sneed is this/close to Anne Burke. The upshot: Sneedless to say. The buckshot: I bet this was reported elsewhere a week before, but I'll still call it Scoopsville. The rim shot: Eric Zorn, I finally realized this week, is keeping tabs so I don't have to. (There are still some jobs Americans will do.)

Blind Justice
"The decisions judges make aren't political. The selection of judges is political," former state supreme court justice Seymour Simon told the Tribune. "But you can remain independent."

Overruled, Justice Simon. Surely the pols select judges who they are pretty sure will make politically favorable decisions. Your comments are dismissed.

Primary Judgement?
Isn't one of the components to the McMorrow fiasco--hey Mary, isn't instilling confidence in the system rather than cynicism one of your responsibilities?--that she waited until after the primaries were over to announce her retirement so voters couldn't fill her seat?

I thought I saw this in an early article and now I've lost it. Please help, dear readers.

But if true, isn't this akin to John Stroger staying on the ballot despite his stroke so the committeemen could name his replacement? And we all remember that this is how Bill Lipinski passed his U.S. congressional seat--a United States seat in Congress!--to his hapless son, Dan.

Do these people believe in democracy? Or is that just an abstract notion that American soldiers are dying for in Iraq?

And do you think the more heated response to the Stroger manuever had anything to do with race? And do you think that maybe McMorrow naming a pal as her replacement precluded a diverse set of candidates from being considered? Doesn't this once again justify affirmative action?

A lot of questions, I know. But they are really answers.

Jumpy Judge
James Holderman, the next chief judge of the federal district court in Chicago, is known as "Holdermaniac" among his critics, the Sun-Times reports in "Chicago's Next Federal Judge Has a Temper Problem, Group Says." Holderman also "yells, screams and intimidates," the paper says, citing a new Chicago Council of Lawyers study on which the article is based.

For both the print and online readers of this story, don't you wish you could just click on a link of each judge's name and see what the lawyers council has to say about them? The best you can do is download the report here.

Topinka Would Call Him Judge Moron
John Kass skewers Bob Creamer, the felonious public service advocate and husband of U.S. Rep. Jan Schakowksy (D-ILL) today. But most interesting is Kass's revelation that the federal judge in Creamer's check-kiting case, James Moran, didn't recuse himself despite being a former Democratic state legislator from Evanston and the father-in-law of Democratic political consultant Peter Giangreco, who, Kass says, sat on the board of one of Creamer's organizations and has done political business with Creamer and Schakowksy.

UPDATE 2:14 p.m.: A faithful reader points out that the revelation I attribute to Kass actually appeared in a Tribune story yesterday by Michael Higgins and Laurie Cohen. "Creamer's ties to the Democratic community are so deep that Moran considered recusing himself from the case," Higgins and Cohen reported. "The judge, a former Democratic state representative from Evanston, said he had a potential conflict of interest because his son-in-law, political consultant Peter Giangreco, had worked with Creamer and Schakowsky and had sat on the board of one of Creamer's organizations."

Apologies, I missed that.

Judgy TV
A recent recounting of Fox 32's daytime schedule, submitted by a reader with a justified reason for remaining anonymous:

9:00am Divorce Court TVPG, Repeat, CC
9:30am Divorce Court TVPG, Repeat, CC
10:00am Judge Hatchett TVPG, Repeat, CC
10:30am Judge Hatchett TVPG, Repeat, CC
11:00am Judge Joe Brown TVPG, CC
11:30am Judge Joe Brown TVPG, Repeat, CC
12:00pm Fox Chicago News at Noon
1:00pm Divorce Court TVPG, Repeat, CC
1:30pm Judge Hatchett TVPG, Repeat, CC
2:00pm Judge Alex TVPG, Repeat, CC
2:30pm Judge Alex TVPG, Repeat, CC
3:00pm Cops TV14, CC
3:30pm Cops TV14, CC
4:00pm Geraldo at Large CC

"Bleacher Bums Now Living in Luxury"
- Sun-Times

Ahem. It's no longer the bums who are in the bleachers.

Bleacher Judgements
Someone who studies these things tells me the Wrigley Field bleachers are a metaphor for what Chicago has become.

One might even say, as Tribune architecture critic Blair Kamin did recently in another context, that Wrigley Field symbolizes the conflict that is wracking Chicago. "Call it gentrification, yuppification, corporatization, whatever," Kamin wrote. "How do we maintain its diversity and vitality so it doesn't become a sterile home for the super-rich? At issue is the survival of texture--the urban texture that makes cities endlessly fascinating, quirky, exotic and even a little wicked."

Wrigley Judgements
Carol Slezak on the new Wrigley.

Kamin's less critical take.

(Hey Blair, do you really think the Tribune Company will spend the extra revenue they get from the new bleachers on better players? Did you just arrive in Chicago?)

Injudiciously Ridiculous
Slezak: "The Cubs . . . have started referring to Wrigley Field as the 'Wrigley Field Campus' on their Web site and in presentations."

Tribune subhead: "Wrigley Still Has The Feel Of A Campus"

Poor Judgement
Two features of the Wrigley rehab even worse than the Bud Light Bleachers:

* The centerfield Batter's Eye Lounge, the monstrosity built on what had been a relieving, beautiful patch of green grass separating the right-field and left-field bleachers. Aside from that, the lounge is in direct view of the batters' eyes, giving the Cubs another excuse for their poor play at home this season. You wait and see.

* The Dick Poles, eight speaker poles rising from the bleachers whose only function appears to be to further piss off the rooftop owners across the street by obstructing their views. The poles "mysteriously appeared on top of the the bleachers during construction," Slezak reports. "The poles weren't in the original plans approved by the city."

Cubs vice president Mark McGuire told Slezak: "[W]e tried to be as honest about the changes as we could. We think the rooftops are extremely viable. We want them to do well. We just don't want their interests to come before ours."

Is that an admission that the ability of the Cubs brass to be honest has its limitations? And will the Cubs ever learn that their interests actually are the same as the interests of the rooftop owners?

Note from The Bud Light Beachwood Bleachers
Please take some time this weekend to spread the word among your friends and enemies about The Beachwood Reporter. Make us your home page. Change your e-mail ID tag to "Friend of the Beachwood" and give us a link. Comment on other people's sites and mention our name. If we make it to the high court, there might be a judgeship in it for you.

Use our Tip Line: We won't judge your motives.


Posted on April 7, 2006

MUSIC - Chief Keef Changed The Industry.
TV - Vizio's Best Product Is You.
POLITICS - UIC: Soda Taxes Work.
SPORTS - More McCaskey Malpractice.

BOOKS - All About Poop.


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