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The [Friday] Papers

"Legendary Chicago Bull Michael Jordan served up a side of super nice at C Chicago, the city's new and hip seafood eatery Sunday night," Sneed "reports."

Jordan, who has kept it low-key since fighting began in an endorsement infringement case at the federal courthouse last week, sent eatery patrons into overdrive when he showed up in a front-row seat.

"Celebrities usually request private rooms at odd hours," said C Chicago owner David Flom.

"But not Michael Jordan. He didn't want a private dining room. His manager called earlier in the day and ordered up a window seat in full view of everybody," Flom added.

Not Michael Jordan! He's just a regular guy! At least just this once - in full view of everybody!

But did he charge a $10 million appearance fee?


"Minus security, Jordan arrived in a casual white linen shirt looking like he had just stepped off a yacht - and dined with his gorjus wife, Yvette Prieto, and three other couples."

Can you believe he was minus security? Man of the people!

Um, is it a jury trial?


"His server, Nathan Haadsma, 28, told Sneed: 'I have been so in awe of Jordan's legacy, I am the proud owner of all 75 pairs of Air Jordan shoes.'"



"'I was stunned to find out how humble he was, despite his extraordinary fame, while I was waiting on his table,' said Haadsma.

"'His smile was genuine and just the way he talked to me, super nice and not belittling at all, was surprising to me. He could have been just the opposite like some celebrities can be.'"

Nathan, you're probably a nice guy, but you might be the only person on the planet who believes Michael Jordan is humble - and hasn't spent his life belittling others. But thanks for playing!


"When the check came, Jordan reached for the bill. How much was the tab? It's safe to say it slipped easily into the four-figure range - and the tip was 20 percent."

Michael Jordan tips just like us! In fact, he only tips just like us - 20 percent.



See also: Sneed says Patti Blagojevich is "a classic case of a woman standing by her man."


Our very own Roger Wallenstein tipped me to the Sneed item. Our very own Tom Chambers also weighed in:

Is The Beachwood thinking of the idolatry of Michael Jordan in his "trial" to protect his riches?

Well, I guess it is a big thing, because it's the first time he's been back in Chicago in 30 years, except to count the money from the brushing-elbows prices of a filet or a piece of pie at his steakhouse.

Here's a selfish bully who invented the concept of an athlete's brand, the precursor to special people such as Tiger Woods, LeBron James and all the rest. Probably because of improper behaviors and acquaintances, "retired, left the game" for a year. He fouled the Jazz guard, hit the shot, took his money and ran. If he catches a cold, does he get $10 million a sneeze?

I only watch WGN news, through the weather, and I thought Patrick Elwood at the courthouse was going to take off his jacket, shirt and tie (certainly he was better dressed than for most any other story, but never better dressed than Jordan) and ask Jordan to autograph his chest hair.

I know there won't be discounts on the cheap shoes that kids who couldn't afford to paid hundreds of dollars for. But I hope the jury gives him $4, the amount of the total discount the two people who cashed in the coupon received. I don't think it was the Dry Aged Porterhouse, $99 at MJ's joint.

Tom adds:

I enjoyed immensely the Bulls and Jordan and the championship years: ON THE COURT.

I never thought I knew them, at least not enough to like them, or not.

Although I think the Bulls the year he wasn't there worked harder and got screwed against New York. Remember, I think Jordan was being punished and it was a golden opportunity to get the Knicks in the finals.

Thanks, Tom.


McDonald's Grilled In Brazil
Chicago worker testifies at human rights Senate hearing.


ME: Movie Pitch: Remake Point Break except instead of wearing ex-presidents masks, we dress like fast-food mascots. Everything else is the same.

TIM: Reality pitch: Remake U.S. history with fast-food mascots replacing presidents.


Steve Harvey Is A Terrible Father
Worst advice-giver ever.

Beachwood Photo Booth: Don't Worry, Be Cookie
Have a nice day!

The Week In Chicago Rock
Featuring: Royal Headache, Beres Hammond, Janelle Monae, Jidenna, Rude Unkal, Jerry Douglas, Insomnium, Mordatorium, Sublime, Yes, Needtobreathe, Collective Soul, and Johnny Gill.

The Beachwood Radio Sports Hour #65: Only The Cubs' Light Shines In Chicago
Maddon for Mayor. Plus: Babe "Bam Bam" Schwarber, Ace Arrieta & Cogsy; The Chicago White Sox Did Something This Week; Chasing David Haugh; The Chicago Fire Did Something This Week; Vic Fangio Does Not Walk On Water; Two-Minute Mess; and The Erik Kramer Question.


* Iraq War General Cashing In With New Job At JP Morgan.

"In Thomas Ricks' 2006 book Fiasco, Odierno was characterized as helping enable indiscriminate mass detentions, prisoner abuse, and extrajudicial killings of Iraqi civilians in the area under his control ... "

* House Music Makes News For The First Time In Chicago (1986).

Jay Levine on the story.

* Mark Buehrle Has Fallen In Love With Toronto.

* Kain Colter's Union Battle With NU Cost Him More Than He Ever Expected.


* The Political Press's Pork Chop Reporting.

* Smack Shack Plans 300-Seat Chicago Restaurant.



Embedded tweets will return only after Twitter has fixed the problem it caused when it changed its code (or something) last night and made everything go bonkers. That's why some pages on the site are now too wide for our design. I'm told they're working on it.


Beachwood Tip Line: Embeddable.


Posted on August 21, 2015

MUSIC - Chief Keef Changed The Industry.
TV - Vizio's Best Product Is You.
POLITICS - UIC: Soda Taxes Work.
SPORTS - More McCaskey Malpractice.

BOOKS - All About Poop.


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