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Army Of Darkness
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A discount-store employee is time-warped to a medieval castle, where he is the foretold savior who can dispel the evil there. Unfortunately, he screws up and releases an army of skeletons. (
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The [Friday] Papers

"Metra CEO Alex Clifford, whose performance has been under review by the Metra board for months, resigned Friday," the Sun-Times reports.

"Clifford will get at least $442,237 in a buyout."

Just to put that in perspective, that's about the same amount Walmart paid to settle nationwide harassment claims.

Or about $50,000 shy of what Anthony Rizzo will make from the Cubs this year.

Or in the range of draconian budget cuts at Chicago's elementary schools.

Just sayin'.

Obama's War On Truth And Transparency
He lied about the NSA, for starters.

Office Hacks
"OfficeMax Inc. is seeking economic incentives to retain its corporate headquarters in Naperville once the office supply retailer completes its merger with rival Office Depot Inc.," the Tribune reports.

"Democratic state Sen. Thomas Cullerton of Villa Park introduced a bill Tuesday creating an economic incentive package, including tax credits, specifically for the combined business.

"At stake are about 2,000 OfficeMax employees in Illinois, which Cullerton doesn't want moving elsewhere, such as Boca Raton, Fla., where Office Depot is headquartered.

"Cullerton said the deal would be worth roughly $30 million in tax credits over 10 years if the company retains a non-retail workforce of 2,000 and makes a $150 million capital investment in the state."

Fine, as long as they're not allowed to buy pop with the money.

Beachwood Photo Booth
Vintage Airmaster.

Corporate-Judicial Complex
"In a series of rulings this year, the U.S. Supreme Court has steered a consistent course against consumers or small businesses that want to bring class action lawsuits against corporate defendants," Reuters reports (via Crain's).

"Comcast, Whirlpool and Sears are among the companies that have benefited from the court's rulings in recent months.

"American Express was the latest to benefit in a ruling on Thursday that marked the last Supreme Court class action ruling before the court's nine-month term ends next week."

Truth In Advertising
"While the proportion of Chicago residents challenged by housing costs has surged in the past decade - half of all renters and homeowners are now officially 'housing cost-burdened' - the city has apparently dropped the word 'affordable' from its next five-year housing plan," Curtis Black writes for Newstips.

Everyday Low Wagers
"Wal-Mart Stores Inc. paid $7.5 million for about 25 acres of land in the former Sportsman's Park racetrack in Cicero," Crain's reports.

Phone Moan
"Illinois cellphone users are overpaying by about $1.4 billion a year, according to a new study released Tuesday by the Citizens Utility Board and research firm Validas," the Tribune reports.

"The figure breaks down to about $194 a year in overpayment for every smartphone user and $30 a year in overpayment by traditional wireless users."

Remember: It's the phones that are smart, not the users.

The Week In Chicago Rock
Five for Friday.


The Beachwood Tip Line: To the max.


Posted on June 21, 2013

MUSIC - Millions Of New Guitar Players.
TV - "One America News" is AT&T.
POLITICS - When Wall Street Came To My Mobile Home Park.
SPORTS - Tonyball, Bears On The Run, Eyes On The Sky & More!

BOOKS - China Holding Swedish Publisher.


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