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The [Friday] Papers

Talk to me, people.

1. Someone please tell me how Chief Keef's lyrics are relevant to whether his participation in a Pitchfork video in which he fires a handgun given to him at a gun range constitutes violation of his probation.

2. "A suburban Chicago woman was sentenced Wednesday to one year of probation after two of her children were found bound and blindfolded in a Walmart parking lot in Kansas," AP reports.

Just don't blindfold anyone for Pitchfork in the next 12 months or you'll find your ass in jail.

3. Someone please tell me how this constitutes an exclusive in any sense of the word. An "exclusive" isn't "breaking" a story hours before everyone else because you're the favorite patsy of the powerful. And that's not "breaking" a story, either. Let's not define journalism down any more than we've already done.

4. Same for this. "Exclusive" apparently now means "interview," because Quinn gave them to a lot of folks. Same thing used to happen with Richard M. Daley, who would give every TV channel their shot on, say, a soft retrospective of his reign, and each would label the interview as the only one of the mayor ever conducted in history. The national networks do it too, with the president. Please stop.

3. + 4. = 5. "Journalism is printing what someone else does not want printed: everything else is public relations." - George Orwell

While I wouldn't totally agree with that statement, you get the point.

6. Rahm Emanuel Allegedly Threatened Journalist Michael Hastings In An Attempt To Intimidate Him As Well As To Seek Vengeance For Him Doing His Job.

7. Ed Burke wants to ban the sale of energy drinks in Chicago.

That's okay, as long as we can still buy them at suburban gun shops just across the city line.


Dear Ed:

"A class action lawsuit filed on Tuesday seeks to ground marketing claims by the makers of Red Bull that the energy drink 'gives you wings,'" the ABA Journal notes.

"According to the suit filed in Manhattan federal court, Red Bull claims its mixture of ingredients improves physical and mental performance. But the suit claims the popular drink is no better at providing energy than a cup of coffee, Reuters reports.

"The suit cites recent reports in the scientific journal Nutrition Reviews and in the New York Times suggesting that proof of Red Bull's superiority is lacking."


Dear CBS2 Chicago, purported home of Original Reporting:

"'Researchers found that these energy drinks contain high levels of caffeine and warned of dangerous, even life threatening, effects on blood pressure, heart rate and brain function,' language in the proposed ordinance says," you reported.

And I'm sure that's accurate. But just because it's in a proposed ordinance doesn't make it true.

From the Times:

[O]ne thing is clear, interviews with researchers and a review of scientific studies show: the energy drink industry is based on a brew of ingredients that, apart from caffeine, have little, if any benefit for consumers.

"If you had a cup of coffee you are going to affect metabolism in the same way," said Dr. Robert W. Pettitt, an associate professor at Minnesota State University in Mankato, who has studied the drinks.

Google: Better Than What Some People Call Original Reporting.


"There were 20,000 emergency room admissions linked to consumption of energy drinks in 2011, Burke said, citing a federal study," CBS2 also "reports."

Seeing as how these are the people who did the study, some skepticism is warranted.


I'm not saying there isn't a danger to energy drinks; it's a lot easier to down five "shots" of the stuff than drink five coffees. And in conjunction with alcohol and other drugs, there could be dangers.

But I doubt Burke and his colleagues, as well as our esteemed local press corps. are best equipped to decipher the data and craft a public policy response. Not that I have that much more faith in the state health department or the FDA - which is on the case for better and worse - but this really isn't a local issue.

But he sure took our minds off those big police settlements and how he compared poor young black men to lions in the wild.


By the way, do you suppose he thinks of Notre Dame as a lions' den?

8. The Monarchs of Pilsen.

9. The Tribune's David Haugh said on The Score this morning that the awkward stage presence of Marc Trestman explains why the quarterback guru hasn't gotten a head coaching job until now. The Bears will need general manager Phil Emery "to manage the perception and shape the message" of the franchise as a result.

Just the latest example of journalists offering public relations advice to the people they cover. Please do a better job of fooling us! More style, less substance! Tie it up in a neat bow for us!

And that's how Lance Armstrong and Manti Te'o happen.

10. The College Football Report: Te'o, Rodgers & Rockne.


The Beachwood Tip Line: Like butterfly wings.


Posted on January 18, 2013

MUSIC - Millions Of New Guitar Players.
TV - "One America News" is AT&T.
POLITICS - When Wall Street Came To My Mobile Home Park.
SPORTS - Tonyball, Bears On The Run, Eyes On The Sky & More!

BOOKS - China Holding Swedish Publisher.


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