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The [Friday] Papers

Note: Zay N. Smith's QT column appears on our People, Places & Things page every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, but you can now also visit a handy archive where we're storing all of them for posterity.

Now, on to the news.

1. President Barack Obama flew into Chicago on Thursday to vote early in an effort to encourage others to do the same just in case a huge scandal breaks before now and Election Day and they want to change their mind.

Obama also cast votes for Todd Stroger, Rod Blagojevich, Richard M. Daley and Emil Jones just for old times' sake.

2. Matt Forte shills for Duracell under the guise of motivationally speaking.

3. If Mitt Romney is one of the worst presidential candidates in American history, what does it say about the incumbent president who is locked in a dead heat with him?

4. Don't let the revolving door hit you in the ass on the way out.

5. Whoever has Brandon Marshall in their fantasy Christian league is having a good week.

6. It turns out the unemployment system is turning a profit.

7. Why would Obama not take this deal? He could put the money into Ohio and seal his re-election.

8. "The Cubs are cracking down on season ticket holders who excessively re-sell their tickets in secondary markets," CBS2Chicago notes.

"On Wednesday afternoon, the Cubs sent 'non-renewal' letters to 40 season-ticket holders who the club believes are exploiting their tickets to make a profit on websites like StubHub."

Replies John Kuczaj via Facebook: "The Cubs should hire anyone who miraculously sold their tickets at a profit."

9. The Political Odds.

10. "With a week to go before CPS must propose guidelines for school closings and other actions, district officials are holding last-minute meetings to give community leaders a reality check, as well as ask their advice on the criteria," Sarah Karp reports for Catalyst.

"CPS spokeswoman Robyn Ziegler said these meetings are not open to the general public, as they are intended to be an opportunity for people to express opinions in private."

Which is just the way the city likes opinions to be expressed.

11. "Conrad Black's scathing critique of the American justice system in his book A Matter of Principle has come back to haunt him in a Chicago court," the Toronto Globe and Mail reports.

"A U.S. federal judge has cited comments Lord Black made in the book in ordering the former media tycoon to pay $6.1 million in penalties for violating U.S. securities laws during his time at Chicago-based Hollinger International Inc."

Black, however, says he's already earmarked his last $6.1 million to Barack Obama in exchange for the president releasing his college transcripts.


"The Securities and Exchange Commission also seized on Lord Black's book, arguing in court filings that the comments were so outrageous he should be ordered to pay an additional $4.1 million in penalties, on top of the $6.1 million."

There goes the deal he was gonna offer Biden.

12. Obamnesia.

13. Illinois apparently needs more lawyers. We certainly have enough clients. (h/t: ABA Journal)

14. Chicago-Area Investment Manager Is Incorrigible Maggot, Says His Grandfather.

And one day he'll be an incorrigible housefly.

15. "The former head of McKinsey & Co.'s Chicago office was sentenced to two years in prison today for leaking boardroom secrets to the former hedge fund manager Raj Rajaratnam," Crain's reports.

At least he's corrigible.

16. Czar of the Playbook: Earl Bennett Is An X Factor!

17. The Week in Chicago Rock.

18. No, Alderman Moreno, what's pretty lame is that she was running away.


The Beachwood Tip Line: Beachnesia.


Posted on October 26, 2012

MUSIC - #MuteRKelly.
TV - NBC Reporter's Kiss-Off.
POLITICS - IL Could Recover $1.3B In Corporate Tax Loopholes.
SPORTS - The Ex-Cub Factor.

BOOKS - Myopic 2000.

PEOPLE PLACES & THINGS - Mailbox Fishing.

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