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The [Friday] Papers


QT has seen the present, and it does not work.

Plus, Today's Birthdays and the QT Early Warning System.

From Zay N. Smith to you:

QT: And A Closed Window Is A Draft Deferment.

Cook County Clue
"Cook County Board President Toni Preckwinkle says today she wants a City Hall insider caught up in an ethics probe to resign from the obscure county board job she gave him last year," the Tribune reports.

"Preckwinkle still hasn't said who recommended that she appoint John Bills, a longtime political worker for House Speaker Michael Madigan, to the part-time post at the Cook County Employee Appeals Board, a panel known as a haven for those with political clout. It pays nearly $35,000 annually plus health benefits."

Our guess: Madigan in a Smoke-Filled Room with a Threat.


No, but seriously, The Beachwood has narrowed down the list of suspects.

Call Prince
A city audit last year of downtown elevators that had been inspected by private companies revealed that a third were not up to code," the Tribune reported Thursday.

Big deal.

"As a broadcast journalism student at Harold Washington College, Emily Rabinovich is learning the ins and outs of chasing stories," the Tribune reported Friday.

"On Thursday night, she found herself cornered by news cameras after firefighters rescued her from a pitch-black elevator stuck for an hour in a Near North Side high-rise."


Rahm's Multiple Choice
"Mayor Says Crime Strategy Working."

Which one?

April 13: "Rahm Defends Crime Strategy."

May 15: "Mayor Emanuel Announces New Crime-Fighting Strategy."

June 25: "Emanuel: Police Have 'Right Strategy' To Try To Quell Violence."

July 13: "Rahm: We're Moving Successful Crime-Fighting Initiative To Neighborhoods That Need Them."

(After, presumably, testing them in neighborhoods that didn't.)

August 27: "Cops Treading Water? Emanuel Says No."

September 15: "Rahm Emanuel Redeploys 114 Cops To Streets, Police Union Calls Move 'Smoke And Mirrors'."

Junior's Farm
"A Sneed source who claims to have visited Jackson this week said, 'Jesse wanted you to know he is finding it difficult to continue his treatment because the press is staking out his home and making access to his doctor, who is within a short walking distance from his home, incredibly hard.'"

Let's break that down.

"A Sneed source whose name might be Sandi Jackson wants Sneed and only Sneed to know this because Sneed won't ask questions in exchange for this 'scoop' and is a useful conduit to distract attention away from her husband's myriad problems amidst a re-election bid in which he is not campaigning and may not even be around to serve by blaming the press for apparently blocking his walking path to a doctor who joins the list of doctors whose names we don't know and who have never attached their names to any public statement put out by the Jackson camp about the congressman's condition."


Meanwhile, the paper announced it would be changing its name to the Chicago Spun-Times.

Student Counsel
"Governor Pat Quinn and Illinois Transportation Secretary Ann L. Schneider today welcomed hundreds of area students to the agency's annual Career Day conference in Chicago. The event began in 2008 to inform Illinois students of the many rewarding opportunities in the transportation industry, and attracted dozens of companies and universities across the region."

Students entered the conference room through a revolving door and were treated to a table full of pension sweeteners before hearing from special guest John "Quarters" Boyle.

Cubs Crud
"Jason Aldean To Bring Night Train Tour To Wrigley Field."

Also, Cubs To Bring Train Wreck Tour To Wrigley.


Meanwhile, the Cubs announced their new marketing slogan: Just wait 'til next, next, next year.

Could Cause Drowsiness
Are there vaccinations available for this?

Pet Issue
"Inspector General Joe Ferguson has a strained relationship with Mayor Rahm Emanuel, but the two men will apparently not be facing off against each other in the 2015 mayoral election," the Sun-Times reports.

"Under questioning Thursday at City Council budget hearings, Ferguson promised not to run for any public office that includes the city of Chicago for at least two years after stepping down as inspector general."

My favorite part, though, was this:

"Ald. 'Proco' Joe Moreno (1st) pressed the issue during Thursday's hearing."

Then Moreno reportedly went around the room and got every single person to make the same vow, including security guards, reporters and babies. Then the mayor patted him on the head.

Chicagoetry: Mercury In Retrograde
Suburban lanes become shattered rainbows.

The Week In Chicago Rock
They played at a venue near you. We have the video.


The Beachwood Tip Line: Retrograde.


Posted on October 19, 2012

MUSIC - Madonna vs. Moderna.
TV - Sundays With The Military-Industrial Complex.
POLITICS - Private Equity In The ER.
SPORTS - Suspicious Betting Trends In Soccer.

BOOKS - China Holding Swedish Publisher.


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