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The [Friday] Papers

"Jenna Jameson, one of the world's most famous porn stars, is being held accountable by a court in suburban Chicago for something decidedly un-sexy: breach of contract," Huffington Post notes.

"The actress, who's called by her legal name Jenna Marie Massoli in the case, was contracted to come to two theaters in the suburbs, for a book signing of her latest title, How to Make Love Like a Porn Star and a screening of her 2008 movie, Zombie Strippers!," according to the Chicago Tribune.

"Shortly before the appearance, she allegedly sent a note to theater owner Ted E.C. Bulthaup III saying that she had some vague kind of 'medical emergency' and wouldn't be able to make the gigs on March 24th through 26th of this year.

"Trouble for Jenna: it only takes a cursory Googling to see where she was that weekend. And it isn't in the hospital . . . "

Click through to find out where.

Perry Mason
"Katy Perry's Friday concert at the Allstate Arena has been posponed due to 'an attack of food poisoning leading to severe dehydration,' promoter Jam Production said in a release Friday," the Tribune reports.

Check YouTube tomorrow to find out why she really canceled.

"A former Illinois hospital worker who stole engagement and wedding rings off the fingers of a deceased patient and pawned them to pay his cable bill has been sentenced to two years in prison," KCCI-8 in Des Moines reports.

Killer Cure
"As the public sector cuts jobs it may only be making its budget situation worse," Ryan Witt writes for the Examiner. "Many of these newly unemployed people will start collecting jobless benefits, draining money from state and federal budgets. Those unemployed by the public sector will also stop spending money in the private sector, leading to less demand and eventually less jobs. In an attempt to balance budgets the public sector is essentially cutting out its own heart in order to remove a blood clot in the leg."

Takin' A Ride
"Transit users and officials responded with satisfaction Thursday after Gov. Pat Quinn signed legislation requiring the CTA, Metra and Pace to come up with a single, shared fare card by 2015," Richard Wronski reports for the Red Eye's sister paper.

By which time Apple will have developed three new operating systems, a nanoPad you can fold up and put in your pocket, a music app that pumps tunes from a cloud directly into your brain, and a universal fare card for interstellar travel.

Via Chicago
"A St. Francis [Minnesota] city council member has been cited after sending a fake bomb to himself in the mail," the Pierce County Herald reports.

"Councilman Leroy Schaffer called police last Friday after receiving a suspicious package from Chicago containing a dud grenade. Schaffer, 72, later admitted to investigators that he drove to Chicago and mailed the package to himself.

"He said he did so for sympathy, claiming there are a lot of people who want to kill him."

Even more now.

Chief Z
"Chicago Cubs pitcher Carlos Zambrano will return to O'Brien Field to make a rehabilitation start Friday night for the Peoria Chiefs," the Peoria Journal Star reports. "Zambrano will have a 65-pitch limit against the Beloit Snappers."

The Snappers will have a six-hit limit against Zambrano before he starts breaking bats and throwing the Gatorade.

The Week in Chicago Rock
Including the Flaming Lips, U2, Children of Bodom, and Bill Callahan..

The 1994 Cubs TV Open

Let's Light This Thing
"Racing has two ends to its candle, online/simulcast wagering and the fun of going to the track," our man on the rail Thomas Chambers writes in TrackNotes: Angels and Devils.

The Week in WTF
Including Rahm's budget axe, Babe Ruth's baseball, Cicero, Sandoval, and guns in bars..


The Beachwood Tip Line: A team of rivals.


Posted on July 8, 2011

MUSIC - Millions Of New Guitar Players.
TV - "One America News" is AT&T.
POLITICS - When Wall Street Came To My Mobile Home Park.
SPORTS - Tonyball, Bears On The Run, Eyes On The Sky & More!

BOOKS - China Holding Swedish Publisher.


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