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Army Of Darkness
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A discount-store employee is time-warped to a medieval castle, where he is the foretold savior who can dispel the evil there. Unfortunately, he screws up and releases an army of skeletons. (
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No, but we do do moose stuff, and that can be anything you want it to be. Except Sudoku.
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Knowing that a person may be unwittingly in danger of an assault imposes a moral duty to warn them.
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The [Friday] Papers

BREAKING: New stocking stuffers in the Beachwood Novelties store!

* A limited edition Beachwood Reporter "Throw the First Punch" t-shirt. Be the first - and possibly only - person on your block to own one!

* The famous Flying Saucer "Andrew" t-shirt. Featuring Beachwood correspondent Andrew "The Angry Aussie of Humboldt Park" Kingsford.

* Ballots From the Dead: Selected Poems From The Beachwood Reporter. Bringing back the J.J. Tindall classic just for the holidays!

* And, of course, our classic tees still in stock, including "20 Years of Corruption And All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt"; "Elect Adam West Chicago Mayor"; and "City of Chicago: No Longer Property of Richard M. Daley."

Major credit cards accepted, as well as Discover.

Job Fair
This vs. this. Discuss.


"Police showed off the mechanics of the basement operation, illustrating how the family hid a ventilation system in the walls and up four floors into a vent through the attic to get rid of the smell. There was another intake vent to let fresh air in, they said.

"Along with the pot plants, police said they found $7,000 in cash and computers and charts used to track the operation.

"John Gecan refuted the officials' estimation as to the amount of pot they had.

"'Are they retarded? There's not a million dollars worth of pot. I'd like to have that money. I'd be living in Mexico right now,' he said.

"Darlene Gecan said it was the faltering economy that drove her to the pot business.

"'The real estate taxes went up four grand. My sons are unemployed, they can't find jobs,' she explained."


Vs. this.


Also in international drug bust news:

"In one of the largest illegal drug busts in Chicago area history, nearly 11 tonnes of marijuana transported from Mexico in six rail cars was seized, with authorities charging 7 men Thursday," Visit Bulgaria reports.

Bears Blast
This is what it's all about, folks.



This is not.


Hey, make your game plans now: I'll be behind the bar at the Beachwood on Monday night serving up cold Old Styles with the Bears-Vikings game on our three TVs (one HD) and the jukebox fully loaded. Plus: free pizza.

The Week in Chicago Rock
They played at a venue near you.

The Week in Comic Books
Scandal at the Daily Planet!

The Week in WTF
The clown car rolls up and James Meeks and a bunch of lawyers roll out.


The Beachwood Tip Line: Lay it down.


Posted on December 17, 2010

MUSIC - Madonna vs. Moderna.
TV - Sundays With The Military-Industrial Complex.
POLITICS - Private Equity In The ER.
SPORTS - Suspicious Betting Trends In Soccer.

BOOKS - China Holding Swedish Publisher.


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