Chicago - Jun. 3, 2020

Must-See TV
Army Of Darkness
ElRey
5 p.m.
A discount-store employee is time-warped to a medieval castle, where he is the foretold savior who can dispel the evil there. Unfortunately, he screws up and releases an army of skeletons. (tvguide.com)

Weather Derby
Tribune: 51/37
Sun-Times: Ferro/McKinney
Weather Channel: 44/41
Ntl Weather Service: 54/43
BWM*: 82/12

Beachwood Bookmarks
K-Tel Classics
WKRP in Cincinnati
So You've Decided To Be Evil
St. Paul Saints
Nye's Polonaise Room
The Arcata Eye
Roadside USA

This Day In . . .
Onion History
Weird Al History
Baseball History
Beachwood History
History History
Spy Magazine History
#OnThisDate History

Chicago
Indicted!
Under Suspicion
Find Your Towed Car
Cable TV Complaints
Freedom of Information
The Expired Meter
The Mob & Friends
Stolen Bike Registry
O'Hare Music Tracker
Rats
Report Corruption (city)
Report Corruption (state)

Beyond
Scoundrels, State
Scoundrels, Federal
The Odds
Random Flight Tracker
Casting Calls
Cosmic Log
Buy Stamps

Beachwood Blogroll
A Handy List

Beachwood Ethics Statement
How We Roll

Today's Horoscope
Liberties will be taken.

Do We Sudoku?
No, but we do do moose stuff, and that can be anything you want it to be. Except Sudoku.

Losing Lottery Numbers
8, 25, 39

Daily Affirmation
I am open and receptive to new avenues of income. (louisehay.com)

Ellie
Knowing that a person may be unwittingly in danger of an assault imposes a moral duty to warn them.

Now Playing
Psychodrama/Marshall Law

Letters to the Editors
FAQ
About
Tip Line
"The Papers" archive
RSS
Beachwood Link Buttons
Media Kit/Advertising

The [Friday] Papers

By Steve Rhodes

Thank God there wasn't a verdict yesterday and won't be one today - I've got a busy morning and then I'm going out of town for the weekend. No time to dally.

Dally.

Anyway . . .

"If anyone's entitled to laugh like a hyena over the troubles of Rod Blagojevich, it's Paul Vallas," a columnist for the Philadelphia Daily News writes this morning.

"But Vallas wouldn't indulge much schadenfreude at the expense of the Illinois ex-governor, who's on trial for corruption.

"'I'm too old to wish anyone ill,' Vallas, 57, said when I called to ask how he was feeling about the legal travails of 'Blago' (such an apt, Bozo-y nickname for a man who, convicted or cleared, is the Clown Prince of Politics).

"Still, Vallas chuckled: 'How embarrassing is it that I got beaten by a guy whose legal defense has been that he's not bright enough to do what they say he did?'"

Mindless Speculation
Continues unabated by people making shit up off the top of their heads.

Hash Tag
Catch up with our #Blagojevich tweets at @BeachwoodReport. Even though @capitolfax weirdly accused of "spamming up" that hashtag, we were on a roll and quite a hit.

We're on Facebook too, even though we got this weird message this morning: "Your account is temporarily unavailable due to site maintenance. It should be available again within a few hours. We apologize for the inconvenience."

A few hours? I could wait for the cable guy for that amount of time.

It's not the first time.

Facebook continues to be exceedingly poorly managed.

Zenyatta Not All That
Our man on the rail explains why.

Publishing Note
Look for another fabulous Weekend Desk Report by the inimitable Natasha Julius tomorrow, and though I'll be out of town I'll still be online in various forms.

I'll leave y'all with some music from two of my favorite bands of all-time.

1. She doesn't covet what she doesn't have.