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The [Friday] Papers

By Steve Rhodes

In a digital world galore filled with voice recognition software, high definition television, tweets, texts, onboard car computers that know when you've been in an accident, GPS baby strollers and instantaneous communication methods never dreamed of on most planets visited by the Enterprise, you'd think we could avoid 11-digit dialing.

Isn't there an app for that?

Trix R 4 Kidz
The Tribune compares Chicago Public Schools' breakfast menus with reality.

On paper: "Mini waffles, Assorted Kellogg's cereal, Scrambled eggs and Granola Bar and fresh fruit of choice."

On the tray: "Doughnuts, Frosted Flakes, Froot Loops, juice, milk. A few children took the waffles with syrup as well."


By the way, CPS, "Froot" is not the same as fruit.


And hey, does Kellogg's have a naming rights deal or something? I mean, that's actually not a bad idea. Maybe Whole Foods could be persuaded to sponsor breakfast in Chicago schools.

O'Hare Shocker
"With both video and audio rolling, the businessman, Wafeek 'Wally' Aiyash, allegedly offered Ald. Isaac 'Ike' Carothers a $100,000 cash bribe - $10,000 of it up front - if Carothers would secure [airport] concessions contracts for him, a criminal complaint unsealed Thursday says," the Sun-Times reports.

"Rosemarie Andolino, who heads the Department of Aviation and O'Hare Airport expansion, was stunned by the allegations."

After all, it takes a lot more than $100K to get airport contracts these days.

Reese Pieces
"Knuckling under to the Daley administration, the city's landmarks commission Thursday rejected a recommendation that the former Michael Reese Hospital campus on the Near South Side be designated a historic property," the Sun-Times reports.

Well, seeing as how the mayor appoints the members of the commission, it's a lot less knuckling under and a lot more doing the job they were hired to do.

Parking Alert Alert
For $9.99 a year, a guy featured in Mary Schmich's column today will send you e-mail and text alerts the night before the street sweepers are coming so you remember to move your car.

Funny, but I get those alerts for free from my alderman's office.

Mental Floss
But by all means, let's try to keep Venetian Night!

This Week's Worst Person In Illinois
Kirk Dillard, who hops aboard the train to kookville.

Opting Out
Why health care reform may never come to Illinois.

Machine Monster
Horror movie on tap: The Assessor.

The Year In Bloodshot
Beer-B-Qs and bests.

Dr. Dude's College Football Report
Introducing the ShamNow Trophy. Inaugural winner: The NCAA for their online good sportsmanship toolkit. Dr. Dude takes a look.

Preparing your Breeders' Cup betting card.

Blue & Orange
What dreams about the Bears really mean.

Numbers Don't Lie . . .
In the hands of sports guru George Ofman.

Programming Note
It's possible that a small celebration of our grant award from the Chicago Community Trust might break out this evening at the good ol' Beachwood Inn. (Stop calling and trying to reserve rooms, by the way!) I'm pretty exhausted, so who knows, but my guess is that just such an event might occur and once again I will be called to rally from the week's injuries to plug the winning set into the jukebox. Feel free to join us and, if you don't tell the Trust, the first $35,000 in beer is on me.

That Ice Thing


The Beachwood Tip Line: Thirsty.


Posted on November 6, 2009

MUSIC - Madonna vs. Moderna.
TV - Sundays With The Military-Industrial Complex.
POLITICS - Private Equity In The ER.
SPORTS - Suspicious Betting Trends In Soccer.

BOOKS - China Holding Swedish Publisher.


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