The [Friday] Papers
By Steve Rhodes
1. "American to expand in Chicago."
Adding direct flights to all towns with federal prison camps.
2. "Boy allegedly kept hours on school bus."
American wouldn't allow driver to return to gate.
3. "A fuming Patti Blagojevich fired back Thursday at 'galling' allegations that she absconded with a contact list from her old job at a charity so she could promote her husband's new book," the Sun-Times reports.
That would be a waste. She's using the list for her new job with Amway.
"Patti Blagojevich, who was fired from the charity group in January, said the list was hers to begin with. In her post as director of development with the charity last year, she created a list for outreach and fund-raising, she said.
"There was no such database before she arrived, Illinois' former first lady said, so, starting from scratch, she placed 600 personal contacts she had accumulated over the years into the index."
In other news, lawyer John Doe said the court records he took from Winston & Strawn upon leaving the firm were his, not theirs.
"These court records did not exist before I came here and handled these cases," Doe said. "I had to start from scratch, using the experience I had accumulated over the years, to put together these motions."
In other news, reporter Jane Doe said the articles she removed from the Tribune's archives upon leaving the paper were hers, not theirs.
"I had to create these stories from scratch," Doe said. "I used sources I had gathered in previous reporting jobs and reached out to old contacts to piece these stories together. I couldn't believe the paper didn't provide its own sources and stories for me. These are mine and I'm taking them with me."
In other news, Bears offensive coordinator Ron Turner vowed he would confiscate all the team's playbooks if he ever got fired.
"I wrote most of that playbook," Turner said. "I brought in plays they had never heard of. Those playbooks are mine."
Patti was hired in part to create and/or maintain a contact list. She was paid to do so. The list, like any other work product, becomes her employer's property. Duh.
4. Despite the various reasons offered by the White House and the punditry, President Obama's refusal to go to Copenhagen on behalf of Chicago 2016 is still a mystery. I take a look here.
6. The Arne Illusion. The Duncan era was mostly a wank.
7. And the winner is . . . Brian Urbanik and his Toast-Terror.
8. "My problem back then with Robby Benson - and on Wednesday with Jeremy - was that it always took me half the movie to figure out that he wasn't somewhat mentally retarded, or playing someone who was," our very own Scott Buckner writes in What I Watched Last Night: Virgin Sex.
9. "[Chicagoan] Bill Bramanti had a coffin specially built to resemble a huge can of his favorite beer," according to the Ripley's new Seeing is Believing.
And pour one out tonight for Bill Bramanti.
10. "Only quality thinkers in sports care about playing surfaces," our man on the rail Thomas Chambers writes in TrackNotes: Fake Plastic Dirt. "Elton and Billy could not have done any good to the hallowed green of Wrigley, and I do wonder how Toyota Park can stand up to all of its special events when maintaining a top-class soccer pitch is extremely difficult. Seems that the powers at Comiskey Park won't let their lawn get trampled, even keeping the Cub Scouts on the warning track.
"And, alas, Arlington Park has not been different, first failing to maintain a dirt course as good as its turf course, and then biting at a snake oil solution in an effort to 'fix things.'
"The issue of racing surfaces rears its ugly head once more as we begin to see some evidence that PolyTrack and CushionRide and ProRide, fancy names for wax, sand, plastic and lint, are not the beautiful solution the salesmen and easy marks thought they'd be."
11. What do the Bears have to do to win back our very own Eric Emery's interest? Let's just say Patrick Kane and Carlos Zambrano are involved.
12. Our city.
The Beachwood Tip Line: Honeys and hustlers.
Posted on September 18, 2009
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