Chicago - Oct. 15, 2021
Music TV Politics Sports Books People Places & Things
Must-See TV
Army Of Darkness
5 p.m.
A discount-store employee is time-warped to a medieval castle, where he is the foretold savior who can dispel the evil there. Unfortunately, he screws up and releases an army of skeletons. (
Weather Derby
Tribune: 51/37
Sun-Times: Ferro/McKinney
Weather Channel: 44/41
Ntl Weather Service: 54/43
BWM*: 82/12
Beachwood Bookmarks
K-Tel Classics
WKRP in Cincinnati
So You've Decided To Be Evil
St. Paul Saints
Nye's Polonaise Room
The Arcata Eye
Roadside USA
This Day In . . .
Onion History
Weird Al History
Baseball History
Beachwood History
History History
Spy Magazine History
#OnThisDate History
Under Suspicion
Find Your Towed Car
Cable TV Complaints
Freedom of Information
The Expired Meter
The Mob & Friends
Stolen Bike Registry
O'Hare Music Tracker
Report Corruption (city)
Report Corruption (state)
Scoundrels, State
Scoundrels, Federal
The Odds
Random Flight Tracker
Casting Calls
Cosmic Log
Buy Stamps
Beachwood Blogroll
A Handy List
Beachwood Ethics Statement
How We Roll
Today's Horoscope
Liberties will be taken.
Do We Sudoku?
No, but we do do moose stuff, and that can be anything you want it to be. Except Sudoku.
Losing Lottery Numbers
8, 25, 39
Daily Affirmation
I am open and receptive to new avenues of income. (
Knowing that a person may be unwittingly in danger of an assault imposes a moral duty to warn them.
Now Playing
Psychodrama/Marshall Law
Letters to the Editors
Tip Line
"The Papers" archive
Beachwood Link Buttons
Media Kit/Advertising

The [Friday] Papers

By Steve Rhodes

1. "American to expand in Chicago."

Adding direct flights to all towns with federal prison camps.

2. "Boy allegedly kept hours on school bus."

American wouldn't allow driver to return to gate.

3. "A fuming Patti Blagojevich fired back Thursday at 'galling' allegations that she absconded with a contact list from her old job at a charity so she could promote her husband's new book," the Sun-Times reports.

That would be a waste. She's using the list for her new job with Amway.


"Patti Blagojevich, who was fired from the charity group in January, said the list was hers to begin with. In her post as director of development with the charity last year, she created a list for outreach and fund-raising, she said.

"There was no such database before she arrived, Illinois' former first lady said, so, starting from scratch, she placed 600 personal contacts she had accumulated over the years into the index."

In other news, lawyer John Doe said the court records he took from Winston & Strawn upon leaving the firm were his, not theirs.

"These court records did not exist before I came here and handled these cases," Doe said. "I had to start from scratch, using the experience I had accumulated over the years, to put together these motions."

In other news, reporter Jane Doe said the articles she removed from the Tribune's archives upon leaving the paper were hers, not theirs.

"I had to create these stories from scratch," Doe said. "I used sources I had gathered in previous reporting jobs and reached out to old contacts to piece these stories together. I couldn't believe the paper didn't provide its own sources and stories for me. These are mine and I'm taking them with me."

In other news, Bears offensive coordinator Ron Turner vowed he would confiscate all the team's playbooks if he ever got fired.

"I wrote most of that playbook," Turner said. "I brought in plays they had never heard of. Those playbooks are mine."


Patti was hired in part to create and/or maintain a contact list. She was paid to do so. The list, like any other work product, becomes her employer's property. Duh.

4. Despite the various reasons offered by the White House and the punditry, President Obama's refusal to go to Copenhagen on behalf of Chicago 2016 is still a mystery. I take a look here.

5. The saga of Roland Burris's senate seat isn't over yet.

6. The Arne Illusion. The Duncan era was mostly a wank.

7. And the winner is . . . Brian Urbanik and his Toast-Terror.

8. "My problem back then with Robby Benson - and on Wednesday with Jeremy - was that it always took me half the movie to figure out that he wasn't somewhat mentally retarded, or playing someone who was," our very own Scott Buckner writes in What I Watched Last Night: Virgin Sex.

9. "[Chicagoan] Bill Bramanti had a coffin specially built to resemble a huge can of his favorite beer," according to the Ripley's new Seeing is Believing.

See what other Chicagoans made the cut.


And pour one out tonight for Bill Bramanti.

10. "Only quality thinkers in sports care about playing surfaces," our man on the rail Thomas Chambers writes in TrackNotes: Fake Plastic Dirt. "Elton and Billy could not have done any good to the hallowed green of Wrigley, and I do wonder how Toyota Park can stand up to all of its special events when maintaining a top-class soccer pitch is extremely difficult. Seems that the powers at Comiskey Park won't let their lawn get trampled, even keeping the Cub Scouts on the warning track.

"And, alas, Arlington Park has not been different, first failing to maintain a dirt course as good as its turf course, and then biting at a snake oil solution in an effort to 'fix things.'

"The issue of racing surfaces rears its ugly head once more as we begin to see some evidence that PolyTrack and CushionRide and ProRide, fancy names for wax, sand, plastic and lint, are not the beautiful solution the salesmen and easy marks thought they'd be."

11. What do the Bears have to do to win back our very own Eric Emery's interest? Let's just say Patrick Kane and Carlos Zambrano are involved.

12. Our city.


The Beachwood Tip Line: Honeys and hustlers.


Posted on September 18, 2009

MUSIC - Millions Of New Guitar Players.
TV - "One America News" is AT&T.
POLITICS - When Wall Street Came To My Mobile Home Park.
SPORTS - Tonyball, Bears On The Run, Eyes On The Sky & More!

BOOKS - China Holding Swedish Publisher.


Search The Beachwood Reporter

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Follow BeachwoodReport on Twitter

Beachwood Radio!