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The [Friday] Papers

By Steve Rhodes

I have a pretty comprehensive rant prepared tieing together many of today's news stories - connecting the dots if you will - but I just don't feel like being angry today. I'm too tired. Too much to do. So here are some other items.

1. Cub Factor writer Marty Gangler will be the guest bartender at the Beachwood Inn tonight. His shift will run 8 p.m. to 10 p.m., and then perhaps he'll stick around and regale us with one of his classic monster jukebox sets.

2. "Me and Tom Ray were looking for a bar to play acoustically at the same time, and we wanted a place that didn't do music," Rick Sherry (Devil in a Woodpile; Sanctified Grumblers) tells our very own Matt Harness in Bloodshot Briefing: Beer-B-Q Dreams. "So we would go into all these neighborhood bars and check out the vibe. We weren't hustling places, and we really just ended up drinking there all night. But we really liked the Beachwood Inn. We were trying to scope out a place where we could play there. We always had a good time there. The Beachwood was always at the top of our list."

3. "On Thursday Cook County prosecutors made a startling allegation," the Tribune reports. "The sudden plant closing was all part of a monthslong plot by the head of Republic Windows to loot the business, steal key manufacturing equipment and set up a new operation in Iowa."

Hardly startling to those of you who read our two-part excerpt from Kari Lyderson's Revolt on Goose Island.

Now would be a good time to revisit:

- Part One
- Part Two

4. Topinka, you stinka.

5. Canadian Bacon Frisbees - For Dogs.

6. Only the most extraordinary of circumstances will keep the Bears from winning the Super Bowl this year, according to Blue & Orange Kool-Aid Report correspondent Eric Emery. He names them.

7. Local coverage of the amazing latest feat of Rachel Alexandra was virtually non-existent. Our man on the rail Thomas Chambers fills in the gap.

8. Blago World Better Than Melrose Place.

More episodes on multiple platforms.

9. Illinois Congressmen Behaving Badly.

They lie!

10. And the sign said long haired freaky people need not apply

So I tucked my hair up under my hat and I went in to ask him why

He said you look like a fine upstanding young man, I think you'll do

So I took off my hat and said imagine that, huh, me working for you


11. Ray Liotta bakes a pie.

12. "By about 2:30 a.m., the store had gotten quiet," our very own pseudononymous Jerome Haller writes in his latest installment of I Am A Security Guard. "Still, a feeling of dread stayed with me. I have the same bad temper as my father. It often takes a lot of effort for me to stay calm. I feared the one incident that would put me over the edge.

"Forty minutes later, I thought it might happen."

13. Mike Luce, in our new College Football Report:

"Just so we're all clear on the algebra involved here: USC offensive coordinator > Oakland Raider head coach > Other Pac-10 school head coach > University of Tennessee head coach."

14. "I was a freelance journalist looking to make my next buck," our very own George Ofman writes in The Treasure of Michael Jordan. "Michael made me lots of them. He was a meal ticket and then some. It didn't take much to sell my clients on a Bulls game - just about any Bulls game. And the playoffs were a bonanza. It was all about Michael and everyone wanted a piece."

15. This one's for Marty. We should be belting it out in our own inimitable Beachwood style sometime around midnight. And we will not be ashamed. See some of y'all tonight.


The Beachwood Tip Line: Still togetherrrrr.


Posted on September 11, 2009

MUSIC - #MuteRKelly.
TV - NBC Reporter's Kiss-Off.
POLITICS - IL Could Recover $1.3B In Corporate Tax Loopholes.
SPORTS - The Ex-Cub Factor.

BOOKS - Myopic 2000.

PEOPLE PLACES & THINGS - Mailbox Fishing.

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