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The [Friday] Papers

1. I thought my building was going to collapse, and I was just thinking, "Save my laptop."

2. It was a gotcha debate - and they got him.

3. Although I wish they asked about Tony Rezko instead of Bill Ayers. So you could say Obama got off easy.

4. Obamaphiles are the biggest bunch of crybabies I've ever seen.

5. "Resident Fears Rogers Park May Lose Charm."

Is their any neighborhood left that isn't losing or hasn't already lost its charm?

6. Please quit, Brian. We're sick of you. Don't you have a bunch of children to drive to school anyway?

7. Dane Placko is this week's Fan of the Week on Just One Bad Century. He was in the bowels of Wrigley when Steve Bartman was escorted out of the ballpark.

8. "City to To Test For Drugs In Water Supply."

A) Why, is Bill Ayers acting up again?
B) Maybe they ought to test the Water Department instead.

9. Pundit Patrol:
A) Mary Schmich writes about the weather again. Will you just give her Skilling's job already?
B) Illinois Supreme Court judge Anne Burke is not only friends with Michael Sneed, but with Neil Steinberg. And yet neither has asked her about the way she was engineered onto to the highest state court in the land.
C) "Obama made it seem at the debate he hardly knew Ayers," Lynn Sweet points out. Or substitute Rezko. Or Wright. Or Emil Jones. Or Todd Stroger. Or Richard M. Daley. Or Joe Lieberman, whom Obama endorsed over anti-war candidate Ned Lamont and who is now asking whether Obama is a Marxist. The guy can pick his friends!
D) I'll destroy Mary Mitchell's latest later. I'm trying to enjoy living through my first Chicago earthquake right now.

10. Our very own Marilyn Ferdinand has a fantastic interview with documentary filmmaker Errol Morris, whose new film, Standard Operating Procedure, opens in Chicago on May 2.

11. Here's an idea for the Chicago Children's Museum: Move it to Northerly Island and rename the island Children's Island. No adults allowed unless accompanied by a child.

12. In a reversal of strategy, Sam Zell acknowledges he may have to sell off some Tribune Co. newspapers and other assets because of an unexpectedly horrible deterioration in revenues. Here's an idea: Sell off all properties outside of Chicago, pay down the company's debt, and invest in making the Tribune the best damn newspaper - and website - in the country. Or even just website.

13. "Unlike in 2005 and early 2006, we have heard almost nothing from the mayor about the public corruption problems Chicago faces and there has been no pledge to stop it," BGA chief Jay Stewart writes this morning. "We will probably have to wait for another indictment or election before the Daley spin machine fires up that myth again."

14. Barack Obama writes a letter to the TSA about his "serious concerns" about some stray uniforms laying around which he finds "wholly unacceptable," but has yet to find the time to write a letter to the mayor about his serious concerns regarding City Hall corruption.

15. Well, Jay, to be fair, the mayor intoduced a new code of conduct (third item) for all city employees on Thursday that is supposed to "change the City Hall environment from one of a 'rules-based culture to one based on values.'"

Wait, isn't the problem that that's what we have now?

16. Speaking of boondoggles, a new aviation chief will try to wrestle the O'Hare expansion to the ground without ending up fired or in jail.

17. Chicagoans on the CTA take Obama's speech to heart and have a conversation about race.

18. "Ever see the silent and inconspicuous player 'on the hook' (corner of the table)? When the dice are cold and the dreaded 7 is popping up with regularity, he may be the only one raking in the chips," writes Sun-Times gambling columnist John Brokopp. "That's because he's a 'don't' bettor, or a craps player who wagers 7 will be rolled before the point.

"The vast majority of craps players bet the dice will pass, or that the point will be made before a 7. Rooting for the point creates the camaraderie that makes the game of craps so special. The cheers that erupt can be heard in the farthest points of the casino floor.

"Don't bettors patiently wait for 7 to appear. If it does, they must celebrate in silence and collect their winnings without fanfare. Don't bettors are loners. Betting the dice will pass is a team sport."

19. "It took us 45 minutes before we even started talking about a single issue that matters to the American people," Obama said.

Well, you would have gotten there sooner if you hadn't brought up Hillary Clinton's ancient remark about staying home and baking cookies.

20. I don't get it. Did everyone want Obama and Clinton to rehearse their set pieces about health insurance mandates again?

21. Maybe Obama should write a letter about "serious concerns" to his political mentor, Emil Jones, who is singlehandedly holding up ethics reform - you know, "change" - in the state legislature.

22. Gotcha!

23. And when they came for Clinton, Obama stood in silence.

Well, not total silence.

(I know I keep linking to that story, but Mary Mitchell and Eric Zorn haven't read it yet.)

24. Obama says Clinton was "in her element" during the debate. No, you were.

25. Thank you, Danny Federici.

The Beachwood Tip Line: Getting you.

Posted on April 18, 2008

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