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    <updated>2008-07-25T12:38:21Z</updated>
    <subtitle>Witty Journalism. Journalistic Wit.</subtitle>
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<entry>
    <title>Song of the Moment: I Kissed A Girl</title>
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    <link rel="service.edit" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/cgi-bin/mt/mt-atom.cgi/weblog/blog_id=1/entry_id=2323" title="Song of the Moment: I Kissed A Girl" />
    <id>tag:www.beachwoodreporter.com,2008://1.2323</id>
    
    <published>2008-07-25T12:02:43Z</published>
    <updated>2008-07-25T12:38:21Z</updated>
    
    <summary>She was just like kissing me.</summary>
    <author>
        <name>Lou</name>
        <uri>www.beachwoodreporter.com</uri>
    </author>
            <category term="Music" />
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en" xml:base="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/">
        <![CDATA[<p>No, not <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tAp9BKosZXs" target="_blank">this one</a>. <em><a href="http://play.rhapsody.com/jillsobule/jillsobule/ikissedagirl?didAutoplayBounce=true" target="_blank">This one</a></em>! </p>

<p>It seems to have gone forgotten in <a href="http://www.pr-inside.com/perry-s-kiss-lingers-at-the-top-r721801.htm" target="_blank">all the rage</a>, but it's a thousand times better.</p>

<p><object width="350" height="272"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/SclQZ4W2VZ0&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/SclQZ4W2VZ0&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="350" height="272"></embed></object></p>]]>
        <![CDATA[<p><strong>Released:</strong> October 1995<br />
<strong>Album:</strong> <em>Jill Sobule</em><br />
<strong>Length:</strong> 3:13</p>

<p>*</p>

<p><u>From Wikipedia</u>:</p>

<p>"The song 'I Kissed a Girl' was banned from many radio stations in southern American states due to its controversial lyrics wherein Sobule describes her character cheating on her boyfriend with a female friend. In response to the banning, Sobule jokingly reminisced: 'I felt like Ice-T [with his song] Cop Killer." </p>

<p>*</p>

<p>The song reached 67 on the <em>Billboard</em> Hot Tracks chart.</p>

<p>*</p>

<p><strong>LYRICS:</strong></p>

<p>Genny came over and told me 'bout Fred<br />
"He's such a hairy behemoth," she said<br />
"Dumb as a box of hammers<br />
But he's such a handsome guy."<br />
And I opened up and told her 'bout Larry<br />
And yesterday how he asked me to marry<br />
I'm not giving him an answer yet<br />
I think I can do better</p>

<p>So we laughed<br />
Compared notes<br />
We had a drink, we had a smoke<br />
She took off her overcoat<br />
I kissed a girl<br />
I kissed a girl</p>

<p>So she called home to say she'd be late<br />
He said he'd worried but now he feels safe<br />
"I'm glad you're with your girlfriend, tell her Hi for me "<br />
So I looked at you, you had guilt in your eyes<br />
But it only lasted a little while<br />
And then I felt your hand above my knee</p>

<p>And we laughed at the world<br />
They can have their diamonds<br />
And we'll have our pearls<br />
I kissed a girl<br />
I kissed a girl</p>

<p>I kissed a girl, her lips were sweet<br />
She was just like kissing me<br />
I kissed a girl, won't change the world<br />
But I'm so glad I kissed a girl</p>

<p>And we laughed at the world<br />
They can have their diamonds<br />
And we'll have our pearls<br />
I kissed a girl<br />
For the first time<br />
I kissed a girl<br />
And I may do it again<br />
I kissed a girl<br />
I kissed a girl</p>

<p>I kissed a girl her lips were sweet<br />
She was just like kissing me<br />
But better</p>

<p>I kissed a girl<br />
Won't change the world<br />
But I'm so glad<br />
I kissed a girl<br />
For the first time<br />
I kissed a girl</p>

<p>*</p>

<p><u>From today's <em>New York Times</em> Arts Listings</u>:</p>

<p>JILL SOBULE (Wednesday): Years before the nascent pop star Katy Perry sang lasciviously about kissing a girl, Jill Sobule parlayed the notion into a quirky hit: in 1995, Ms. Sobule's "I Kissed a Girl," with its strummed guitars and sweet lyrics, earned her passing infamy. Now Ms. Sobule, an accomplished singer and songwriter, has released her seventh album, <em>Jill Sobule Sings Prozak and the Platypus</em>," the soundtrack to a play ("Prozak and the Platypus") she helped write. At 9:30 p.m., Joe's Pub, at the Public Theater, 425 Lafayette Street, at Astor Place, East Village, (212) 967-7555, joespub.com; $18. (Petrusich).</p>

<p>*</p>

<p><strong>Priceless Amateur Katy Parry video:</strong></p>

<p><object width="350" height="272"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/qqOAlKUP4Ok&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/qqOAlKUP4Ok&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="350" height="272"></embed></object></p>

<p>-</p>

<p><em>Previously in Song of the Moment:</em><br />
* <a href="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/music/song_of_the_moment_iron_man.php" target="_blank">Iron Man</a><br />
* <a href="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/music/the_best_bo_diddley_song_ever.php" target="_blank">The Story of Bo Diddley</a><br />
* <a href="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/music/song_of_the_moment_teach_your.php" target="_blank">Teach Your Children</a><br />
* <a href="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/music/song_of_the_moment_dream_vacat.php" target="_blank">Dream Vacation</a><br />
* <a href="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/music/song_of_the_moment_when_the_le.php" target="_blank">When The Levee Breaks</a><br />
</p>]]>
    </content>
</entry>
<entry>
    <title>Gary Slutkin&apos;s Campaign Contributions</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/politics/gary_slutkins_campaign_contrib.php" />
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    <id>tag:www.beachwoodreporter.com,2008://1.2322</id>
    
    <published>2008-07-25T06:54:02Z</published>
    <updated>2008-07-25T12:40:28Z</updated>
    
    <summary>The executive director of CeaseFire&apos;s favorite politicians.</summary>
    <author>
        <name>Lou</name>
        <uri>www.beachwoodreporter.com</uri>
    </author>
            <category term="Politics" />
    
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        <![CDATA[<p>Here are the campaign contributions to state lawmakers made by <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2008/05/04/magazine/04health-t.html?_r=1&oref=slogin" target="_blank">CeaseFire executive director</a> <a href="http://www.chicagojustice.org/blog/?p=81" target="_blank">Gary Slutkin</a>, according records from the Illinois State Board of Elections.</p>

<p>*<br />
 <br />
Slutkin, Gary<br />
Chicago, IL<br />
$200.00<br />
8/1/2001<br />
Individual Contribution<br />
<strong>Citizens for Lisa Madigan</strong> </p>

<p>*</p>

<p>Slutkin, Gary<br />
Chicago, IL <br />
$200.00<br />
8/22/2002<br />
Individual Contribution<br />
<strong>Citizens for Lisa Madigan</strong> </p>

<p>*</p>

<p>Slutkin, Gary<br />
Chicago, IL 60610<br />
$200.00<br />
6/10/2003<br />
Individual Contribution<br />
<strong>Friends of Iris Y Martinez</strong> </p>]]>
        <![CDATA[<p>*</p>

<p>Slutkin, Gary<br />
Chicago, IL<br />
$200.00<br />
10/28/2003<br />
Individual Contribution<br />
<strong>Citizens to Elect Karen Yarbrough</strong></p>

<p>*	 </p>

<p>Slutkin, Gary<br />
Chicago, IL<br />
$200.00<br />
10/28/2003<br />
Individual Contribution<br />
<strong>Citizens for Cynthia Soto</strong></p>

<p>* 	 </p>

<p>Slutkin, Gary<br />
Chicago, IL<br />
$200.00<br />
12/29/2003<br />
Individual Contribution<br />
<strong>Citizens for Lisa Madigan</strong> </p>

<p>*</p>

<p>Slutkin, Gary<br />
Chicago, IL<br />
$500.00<br />
6/9/2004<br />
Individual Contribution<br />
<strong>Friends of Blagojevich</strong></p>

<p>* 	 </p>

<p>Slutkin, Gary<br />
Chicago, IL<br />
$200.00<br />
6/30/2005<br />
Individual Contribution<br />
<strong>Citizens for Claypool</strong></p>

<p>*</p>

<p>Slutkin, Gary<br />
Chicago, IL<br />
$200.00<br />
6/30/2005<br />
Individual Contribution<br />
<strong>Citizens for Maldonado</strong></p>

<p>*</p>

<p>Slutkin, Gary<br />
Chicago, IL<br />
$200.00<br />
1/18/2005<br />
Individual Contribution<br />
<strong>Citizens for Lisa Madigan</strong></p>

<p>* </p>

<p>Slutkin, Gary<br />
Chicago, IL<br />
$200.00<br />
10/18/2005<br />
Individual Contribution<br />
<strong>Citizens for Cynthia Soto</strong></p>

<p>* 	 </p>

<p>Slutkin, Gary<br />
Chicago, IL<br />
$200.00<br />
11/7/2005<br />
Individual Contribution<br />
<strong>Friends of Lou Jones</strong></p>

<p>* </p>

<p>Slutkin, Gary<br />
Chicago, IL <br />
$200.00<br />
3/10/2006<br />
Individual Contribution<br />
<strong>Citizens for Claypool</strong></p>

<p>*</p>

<p>Slutkin, Gary<br />
Chicago, IL<br />
$200.00<br />
6/28/2006<br />
Individual Contribution<br />
<strong>Citizens to Elect Karen Yarbrough</strong></p>

<p>* </p>

<p>Slutkin, Gary<br />
Chicago, IL<br />
$200.00<br />
8/8/2006<br />
Individual Contribution<br />
<strong>Citizens for Lisa Madigan</strong></p>

<p>* </p>

<p>Slutkin, Gary<br />
Chicago, IL<br />
$200.00<br />
10/3/2006<br />
Individual Contribution<br />
<strong>Friends of Linda Chapa LaVia</strong></p>

<p>* 	 </p>

<p>Slutkin, Gary<br />
Chicago, IL <br />
$250.00<br />
10/30/2007<br />
Individual Contribution<br />
<strong>Citizens to Elect Karen Yarbrough</strong></p>

<p>* 	 </p>

<p>Slutkin, Gary<br />
Chicago, IL<br />
$200.00<br />
12/15/2007<br />
Individual Contribution<br />
<strong>Citizens for Esther Golar</strong></p>

<p>*	 </p>

<p>Slutkin, Gary<br />
Chicago, IL<br />
$200.00<br />
8/10/2007<br />
Individual Contribution<br />
<strong>Citizens For Davis</strong> 	 </p>

<p>Slutkin, Gary<br />
Chicago, IL<br />
Occupation: Medical Doctor Professor<br />
Employer: University of Chicago at Illinois School of Public Health<br />
$700.00<br />
12/15/2007<br />
Individual Contribution<br />
<strong>Moreno for Senate</strong></p>

<p>* 	 </p>

<p>Slutkin, Gary<br />
Chicago, IL <br />
Occupation: Medical Doctor Professor<br />
Employer: University of Chicago at Illinois School of Public Health<br />
$1,500.00<br />
12/30/2007<br />
Individual Contribution<br />
<strong>Moreno for Senate</strong></p>

<p>* 	 </p>

<p>Slutkin, Gary<br />
Chicago, IL<br />
$250.00<br />
5/29/2008<br />
Individual Contribution<br />
<strong>Friends of Julie Hamos</strong></p>

<p>* 	 </p>

<p>Slutkin, Gary<br />
Chicago, IL<br />
$250.00<br />
1/25/2008<br />
Individual Contribution<br />
<strong>Friends of Don Harmon</strong> 	 </p>

<p>*</p>

<p>Slutkin, Gary<br />
Chicago, IL<br />
$200.00<br />
10/25/2007<br />
Individual Contribution<br />
<strong>Citizens to Elect Eddie Washington</strong></p>

<p>* 	 </p>

<p>Slutkin, Gary<br />
Chicago, IL<br />
Occupation: Doctor<br />
Employer: UIC<br />
$500.00<br />
6/30/2008<br />
Individual Contribution<br />
<strong>Citizens for Lisa Madigan</strong></p>

<p>*	 </p>

<p>Slutkin, Gary<br />
Chicago, IL 60610<br />
$250.00<br />
1/31/2008<br />
Individual Contribution<br />
<strong>Citizens for Deborah L Graham</strong></p>

<p>*</p>

<p>Slutkin, Gary<br />
Chicago, IL<br />
$200.00<br />
2/1/2008<br />
Individual Contribution<br />
<strong>Citizens for Donne Trotter</strong></p>

<p>* 	 </p>

<p>Slutkin, Gary<br />
Chicago, IL<br />
Occupation: Medical Doctor Professor<br />
Employer: University of Chicago at Illinois School of Public Health<br />
$1,500.00<br />
1/5/2008<br />
<strong>Moreno for Senate</strong></p>

<p>*</p>

<p>NOTE: Each of the above contributions listed the same Chicago address, which I've deleted. These are the two earliest contributions by a Gary Slutkin listed under a different address.</p>

<p><br />
Slutkin, Gary<br />
Chicago, IL <br />
$150.00<br />
8/10/1999<br />
Individual Contribution<br />
<strong>Citizens for Lisa Madigan</strong></p>

<p>*<br />
 	 <br />
Slutkin, Gary<br />
Chicago, IL<br />
$250.00<br />
7/27/2000<br />
Individual Contribution<br />
<strong>Citizens for Lisa Madigan</strong>	</p>

<p>*</p>

<p>Slutkin has also made some federal contributions, according to the Center for Responsive Politics.</p>

<p>SLUTKIN, GARY<br />
CHICAGO, IL <br />
CEASEFIRE/EXECUTIVE<br />
9/20/07<br />
$250<br />
<strong>Rush, Bobby L (D)</strong></p>

<p>*</p>

<p>SLUTKIN, GARY MR<br />
CHICAGO, IL<br />
ULC-SPH/PUBLIC HEALTH MD<br />
3/28/08<br />
$1,000<br />
<strong>Obama, Barack (D)</strong></p>

<p>*</p>

<p>SLUTKIN, GARY MR<br />
CHICAGO, IL<br />
12/8/07<br />
$500<br />
<strong>Davis, Danny K (D)</strong></p>]]>
    </content>
</entry>
<entry>
    <title>Registration Drive</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/politics/registration_diet.php" />
    <link rel="service.edit" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/cgi-bin/mt/mt-atom.cgi/weblog/blog_id=1/entry_id=2321" title="Registration Drive" />
    <id>tag:www.beachwoodreporter.com,2008://1.2321</id>
    
    <published>2008-07-24T21:37:17Z</published>
    <updated>2008-07-25T01:28:16Z</updated>
    
    <summary>It&apos;s the right thing to do.</summary>
    <author>
        <name>Lou</name>
        <uri>www.beachwoodreporter.com</uri>
    </author>
            <category term="Citizen Kate TV" />
            <category term="Politics" />
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en" xml:base="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/">
        <![CDATA[<p>Lose weight and do your civic duty at the same time.</p>

<p><object width="350" height="272"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/qoC3aHzWn3g&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/qoC3aHzWn3g&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="350" height="272"></embed></object></p>]]>
        <![CDATA[<p><em><a href="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/citizen_kate_tv/" target="_blank">See the Citizen Kate collection</a>!</em></p>]]>
    </content>
</entry>
<entry>
    <title>The [Thursday] Papers</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/column/the_thursday_papers_121.php" />
    <link rel="service.edit" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/cgi-bin/mt/mt-atom.cgi/weblog/blog_id=1/entry_id=2320" title="The [Thursday] Papers" />
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    <published>2008-07-24T16:25:41Z</published>
    <updated>2008-07-24T20:56:52Z</updated>
    
    <summary>The governor&apos;s failure to communicate. The Obamalympics. Tony Rezko as Keyser Soze. Bobby Novak hits and runs. Daley&apos;s News. Steve Bartman and Devin Hester.</summary>
    <author>
        <name>Lou</name>
        <uri>www.beachwoodreporter.com</uri>
    </author>
            <category term="Column" />
            <category term="Top" />
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en" xml:base="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/">
        <![CDATA[<p><strong>UPDATE 2:54 P.M.:</strong> <em>Friday Night With John Callaway</em> will feature an interview with recently departed <em>Chicago Tribune</em> editor Ann Marie Lipinski this week. You can see an excerpt tonight on <em>Chicago Tonight</em>.</p>

<p>*</p>

<p><strong>Gov. Baloneyvich</strong><br />
"The confusing controversy over Gov. Rod Blagojevich's decision to give $1 million in state assistance following the Pilgrim Baptist Church fire has a new twist - the founder of the private Chicago school that got the money is contradicting the governor's statement about what happened," the <em>Tribune</em> <a href="http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/nationworld/chi-blagojevich-church-firejul24,0,5528490.story" target="_blank">reports</a>.</p>

<p>Will the last person in the state who hasn't been lied to by the governor turn the lights out?</p>]]>
        <![CDATA[<p><strong>Top Doc</strong><br />
"While on the county payroll, a top urologist at Cook County Hospital solicited nearly $1 million from drug companies over the last decade for his private foundation," the <em>Sun-Times</em> <a href="http://www.suntimes.com/news/watchdogs/1072480,CST-NWS-watchdog24.article" target="_blank">reports</a>. "Dr. Paul S. Ray's pitch was that the money would go toward medical research and education. But most of the money hasn't gone to health care at all. Instead, Ray invested it - mostly in Tony Rezko."</p>

<p>Tony Rezko, the Keyser Soze of Illinois politics.</p>

<p><strong>Obamalympics</strong><br />
"Sen. Barack Obama's campaign will be among the TV sponsors of NBC Universal's Olympics coverage. In the first significant network-TV buy of any presidential candidate in at least 16 years, the Obama campaign has taken a $5 million package of Olympics spots that includes network TV as well as cable ads," <em>Ad Age</em> <a href="http://adage.com/article?article_id=129853" target="_blank">reports</a>.</p>

<p>A) He'll also compete in the pole vault.<br />
B) In return, the IOC will add a sixth "O" to its logo.<br />
C) Doctors warn that HDTV owners could suffer radiation burns from the unprecedented collision of hype.</p>

<p>*</p>

<p>Meanwhile, <em>First Read</em> has <a href="http://firstread.msnbc.msn.com/archive/2008/07/24/1218845.aspx" target="_blank">a compilation</a> of Obama overseas frenzy links, including "blow-out" coverage from <em>Der Spiegel</em>.</p>

<p><strong>Prince of Blindness</strong><br />
Bob Novak says he didn't see the pedestrian he hit with his car on Wednesday. </p>

<p>The bicyclist-witness who chased Novak down says otherwise.</p>

<p>"The guy is sort of splayed into the windshield," David Bono <a href="http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0708/11985.html" target="_blank">tells</a> <em>Politico</em>.</p>

<p>"Bono said that the pedestrian, who was crossing the street on a 'Walk' signal and was in the crosswalk, rolled off the windshield and that Novak then made a right into the service lane of K Street. 'This car is speeding away. What's going through my mind is, you just can't hit a pedestrian and drive away,' Bono said. </p>

<p>"He said he chased Novak half a block down K Street, finally caught up with him and then put his bike in front of the car to block it and called 911. Traffic immediately backed up, horns blaring, until commuters behind Novak backed up so he could pull over.</p>

<p>"Bono said that throughout, Novak 'keeps trying to get away. He keeps trying to go.' He said he vaguely recognized the longtime political reporter and columnist as a news personality but could not precisely place him. </p>

<p>"Finally, Bono said, Novak put his head out the window of his car and motioned him over. Bono said he told him that you can't hit a pedestrian and just drive away. He quoted Novak as responding: 'I didn't see him there.'"</p>

<p><strong>Daley News</strong><br />
"News media too often portray communities as crime-ridden, Mayor Daley told journalists at McCormick Place on Wednesday," the <em>Sun-Times</em> <a href="http://www.suntimes.com/news/metro/1072272,CST-NWS-metro24.article" target="_blank">reports</a>  (third item).</p>

<p>Instead, they should ignore those communities and focus on downtown, he advised.</p>

<p>"'Don't look at the politician," Daley said.</p>

<p>Nothing to see here.</p>

<p>"Look at the journalists and what they are reporting continuously, 24 hours a day, seven days a week."</p>

<p>Um, like what they are reporting about politicians?</p>

<p>"You have to be able to balance."</p>

<p>Deceit with shamelessness, that is.</p>

<p>"WLS-Channel 7's Linda Yu, co-host of the UNITY '08 ceremony, responded: 'Thank you for the reminder.'"</p>

<p>And then she bent over and said, "Thank you, sir, may I have another."</p>

<p><strong>Todd Squad</strong><br />
Todd Stroger is doing a "damn good job," and <a href="http://divisionstreet.wordpress.com/2008/07/23/damn-good-job/" target="_blank">McDonald's is lovin' it</a>!</p>

<p><strong>Blaming Bartman</strong><br />
I knew Steve Bartman was <a href="http://www.suntimes.com/sports/baseball/cubs/1072465,CST-NWS-bart24.article" target="_blank">back in the news</a> when we saw a little traffic spike for "<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m09GoUMaD0Q" target="_blank">Go Blame It On Bartman</a>."</p>

<p><strong>Saving Holtzman</strong><br />
"Like so many who worked with him, I respected and loved Jerry Holtzman," Michael Davis <a href="http://chicagosports.chicagotribune.com/sports/baseball/cs-080722-jerome-holtzman-remembrance,1,6698753.story" target="_blank">writes</a>. "That may explain the pain of awakening Tuesday morning to read his obituary posted on the <em>Tribune's</em> Web site. The story <a href="http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/cs-080721-jerome-holtzman-death,0,3762261.story?page=2" target="_blank">suggested</a> Jerry had been run out of the <em>Sun-Times</em> in 1981, into the welcoming arms of the Tribune. It implied he had been a victim of neglect at the hands of know-nothing editors on Wabash Avenue.</p>

<p>"While it's true Jerry was shunted aside in the mid-1970s by sports editor Lewis Grizzard, within a few years his career bounced back as if he had Flubber on his heels."</p>

<p>Meanwhile, the <em>Reader's</em> Ted Cox <a href="http://blogs.chicagoreader.com/sports/2008/07/23/no-cheering-press-box/" target="_blank">writes</a> that "[T]he world is a diminished place with the death of Jerome Holtzman, but the press box not so much. And if you think I'm being unnecessarily hard on the journalistic dead, just be glad I didn't have access to a blog when Steve Neal died."</p>

<p><strong>Wrigley On Ice</strong><br />
<a href="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/sports/take_me_outside_to_the_hawks_g.php" target="_blank">Take Me Outside To The Hawks Game</a>.</p>

<p><strong>Holdout Hester</strong><br />
Sure, he's holding out, but we still believe <a href="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/sports/the_hester_man_can.php" target="_blank">The Hester Man Can!</a></p>

<p><em>The Beachwood <a href="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/tipline.php" target="_blank">Tip Line</a>: Panning for gold.</em></p>]]>
    </content>
</entry>
<entry>
    <title>Chicagoetry: Barshomba And The Green Bunny</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/people_places_things/chicagoetry_barshomba_and_the.php" />
    <link rel="service.edit" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/cgi-bin/mt/mt-atom.cgi/weblog/blog_id=1/entry_id=2319" title="Chicagoetry: Barshomba And The Green Bunny" />
    <id>tag:www.beachwoodreporter.com,2008://1.2319</id>
    
    <published>2008-07-24T14:06:45Z</published>
    <updated>2008-07-24T14:13:10Z</updated>
    
    <summary>77th and Halsted.</summary>
    <author>
        <name>Lou</name>
        <uri>www.beachwoodreporter.com</uri>
    </author>
            <category term="Chicagoetry" />
            <category term="People Places &amp; Things" />
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en" xml:base="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/">
        <![CDATA[<p>BARSHOMBA AND THE GREEN BUNNY</p>

<p>"Yeah, man," Mr. DeFourneaux began,<br />
"Me and Barshomba had<br />
the One Love Peace<br />
Band.</p>

<p>You heard of the Chitlin' <br />
Circuit? South Side, you know,<br />
Bonanza, Peppers,<br />
Rock, Castle Rock, </p>

<p>Checkmate, the Green Bunny?<br />
77th and Halsted in the<br />
early '70s. South Side,<br />
you know: Sam Cooke,<br />
Herbie Hancock, Ramsay</p>

<p>Lewis, Minnie Riperton.<br />
Barshomba had dreads<br />
down to his ass, you know.<br />
You heard of </p>]]>
        <![CDATA[<p>Haile Selassie?  (FUCK<br />
yeah, man, I'm hip to<br />
Haile. JAH RASTAFARI!). Anyway, I was wearin'<br />
dashikis, had an afro</p>

<p>(DUDE: I GOTTA see a picture<br />
of you with an afro!)<br />
Anyway, we was goin' to the<br />
Green Bunny to do a gig,</p>

<p>cuz we hard Marvin Gaye<br />
liked to hang out there after<br />
his shows. I was playin'<br />
marimbas, timables,</p>

<p>congas, bongos, man,<br />
we're loadin' all this shit<br />
it two cars. We get to<br />
the Green Bunny and - man,</p>

<p>I ain't goan lie - the motherfucker<br />
was CLOSED, man, and I mean<br />
FOR GOOD.  I was like 'God-<br />
DAY-UM ain't that a bitch!</p>

<p>Well, after awhile, I shaved<br />
off my 'fro, and I don't think<br />
Barshomba liked that, cuz I only<br />
saw him one mo' thyme after</p>

<p>Bob Marley opened for the Stones<br />
at the Stadium, you know,<br />
Barshomba was hangin' backstage<br />
with Bunny Wailer - you know</p>

<p>Bunny Wailer? (Fuck YEAH<br />
I'm hip to Bunny).  Well,<br />
anyways, we was also playin'<br />
with Sons of Slum, Bosco, the<br />
Sparkle Plenty Gypsy Band,</p>

<p>they had Chaka Khan playin'<br />
drums with a double-bass, man,<br />
she was BAD, man, you know,<br />
like Twinkie Floorwood from</p>

<p>Funkadelic? Then Chaka hooked<br />
up with Helicopter, then finally<br />
got up with, man, what was the name<br />
of that band? (Rufus, bro.)  RIGHT,</p>

<p>man, Rufus, and she had<br />
that big hit, uh, what was<br />
it?  'Tell Me Somethin' Good,'<br />
MAN, they was BAD, you know. </p>

<p>Yeah, we had some good times<br />
until I shaved off that 'fro,<br />
man, yeah, man, ha ha ha . . . "</p>

<p>-</p>

<p><em><a href="http://voices.e-poets.net/TindallJJ/" target="_blank">J. J. Tindall</a> is the Beachwood's poet-in-residence. He can reached at <a href="mailto:jjtindall@yahoo.com">jjtindall@yahoo.com</a>. <a href="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/chicagoetry/" target="_blank">Chicagoetry</a> is an exclusive Beachwood collection-in-progress.</em></p>]]>
    </content>
</entry>
<entry>
    <title>Take Me Outside To The Hawks Game</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/sports/take_me_outside_to_the_hawks_g.php" />
    <link rel="service.edit" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/cgi-bin/mt/mt-atom.cgi/weblog/blog_id=1/entry_id=2318" title="Take Me Outside To The Hawks Game" />
    <id>tag:www.beachwoodreporter.com,2008://1.2318</id>
    
    <published>2008-07-24T13:46:55Z</published>
    <updated>2008-07-24T14:02:44Z</updated>
    
    <summary>Buy me hot cocoa and peppermint schnapps, I&apos;m half in the bag before the first puck drops.</summary>
    <author>
        <name>Lou</name>
        <uri>www.beachwoodreporter.com</uri>
    </author>
            <category term="Sports" />
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en" xml:base="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/">
        <![CDATA[<p>The NHL <a href="http://www.usatoday.com/sports/hockey/2008-07-22-717827239_x.htm" target="_blank">announced this week</a> that the league's second annual Winter Classic outdoor game will be held at Wrigley Field between the Blackhawks and the Red Wings. Here are some of the details.</p>

<p>* Urinal troughs will be heated to prevent "urine-bergs."</p>

<p>* Old Style popsicles: $6.25.</p>

<p>* Left field bleachers to throw snowballs up toward the corporate A-holes sitting in the rooftops. Corporate A-holes to throw back balled up loan papers from foreclosed homes.</p>

<p>* Nets to be installed to protect those sitting under the upper level from falling icicles.</p>

<p>* Fans sitting in the left field bleachers will continue their streak of 242 games of not paying attention to the game.</p>

<p>*Chicago police will experience a revenue surge after fans write their names and address in the snow while urinating in Wrigleyville alleys.</p>]]>
        <![CDATA[<p>* The Cubby Bear will change its name to the Blackhawk Bear and hold Mullet Night. </p>

<p>* The cryogenically frozen body of Harry Caray will sing the second-intermission stretch. One of these versions of the song will be chosen. </p>

<p><strong>1.</strong><br />
Take me outside to the hockey game,<br />
Take me out to the cold<br />
Buy me hot cocoa and peppermint schnapps,<br />
I'm half in the bag before the first puck drops,<br />
For it's root root root for the Blackhawks,<br />
If they don't win, it's the same,<br />
For it's one, two, three degrees below<br />
At the old hockey game.</p>

<p><strong>2.</strong><br />
Take me out to the Hawks game<br />
Take me out to the cold<br />
Wearing no shirts out at Wrigley Field<br />
Frostbite your wienie for the ol' highlight reel<br />
For it's freeze, freeze, freezing your face off<br />
If you can't speak it's a shame,<br />
For I'm drunk, cold and almost passed out<br />
At the outdoor Hawks game.</p>

<p><strong>3.</strong><br />
Take me out to da Wrigley<br />
Take me out to da Field<br />
Buy me a toque and a cold Labatt's<br />
I don't care if I freeze off my nuts<br />
For it's root root root for a quick game<br />
If it's overtime I'm in pain<br />
'Cause it's January in Chicago<br />
And hockey's an inside game</p>

<p><em>- Eric Emery, Rick Kaempfer, Marty Gangler, Steve Rhodes</em></p>]]>
    </content>
</entry>
<entry>
    <title>Trivial Pursuit: Music Choice Edition</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/music/best_rock_trivia.php" />
    <link rel="service.edit" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/cgi-bin/mt/mt-atom.cgi/weblog/blog_id=1/entry_id=1410" title="Trivial Pursuit: Music Choice Edition" />
    <id>tag:www.beachwoodreporter.com,2007://1.1410</id>
    
    <published>2008-07-24T06:00:09Z</published>
    <updated>2008-07-24T14:27:50Z</updated>
    
    <summary>The real secret history of rock.</summary>
    <author>
        <name>Lou</name>
        <uri>www.beachwoodreporter.com</uri>
    </author>
            <category term="Music" />
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en" xml:base="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/">
        <![CDATA[<p>Rock's <em>real</em> secret history, as gleaned from the trivia bits on Comcast Cable's "Music Choice" channels.</p>

<p><em>New this edition: Fun facts about the Guns 'N Roses, the Cure, Muddy Waters, Seals & Crofts,  and more!</em></p>

<p><strong>1.</strong> Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" was never released as a single.</p>

<p><strong>2.</strong> Early in his career, the Rolling Stones' Brian Jones performed as Elmo Lewis.</p>

<p><strong>3.</strong> Cat Stevens went to Catholic school.</p>]]>
        <![CDATA[<p><strong>4.</strong> England Dan and John Ford Coley's "Love is the Answer" was written by Todd Rundgren.</p>

<p><strong>5.</strong> Barbra Streisand is the best selling female recording artist of all time.</p>

<p><strong>6.</strong> Steve Miller was born in Milwaukee.</p>

<p><strong>7.</strong> Pure Prairie League released <em>Firin' Up</em> in 1980.</p>

<p><strong>8.</strong> John Denver's father was a U.S. Air Force officer.</p>

<p><strong>9.</strong> In 1969, Jimmy Buffett moved to Nashville to start his music career.</p>

<p><strong>10.</strong> Rare Earth was formed from the ashes of the band the Sunliners.</p>

<p><strong>11.</strong> The DeFranco Family was modeled after the Osmonds and sponsored by the publishers of <em>Tiger Beat.</em></p>

<p><strong>12.</strong> "Mandy" was the first in a string of 25 consecutive Top 40 hits for Barry Manilow. 25!</p>

<p><strong>13.</strong> The Eagles were formerly backup musicians for Linda Ronstadt.</p>

<p><strong>14.</strong> Tony Orlando was a general manager at Columbia Records.</p>

<p><strong>15.</strong> Though they started out as a five-piece, the O'Jays enjoyed most of their success as a trio.</p>

<p><strong>16.</strong> Bill Withers joined the U.S. Navy when he was 17 and served for nine years.</p>

<p><strong>17.</strong> The Spinners were named after the chrome wheels on tenor Bobbie Smith's car.</p>

<p><strong>18.</strong> Eric Carmen is a classically trained pianist/guitarist.</p>

<p><strong>19.</strong> "Rockestra Theme" by Paul McCartney and Wings won the 1979 Grammy for Best Rock Instrumental.</p>

<p><strong>20.</strong> In 1999 Katrina left the Waves to pursue a career as a DJ and a solo artist.</p>

<p><strong>21.</strong> Photographs of 2Pac's autopsy were never officially released, though they were leaked on the Internet.</p>

<p><strong>22.</strong> Edison's wax cylinder phonograph was patented in 1886.</p>

<p><strong>23.</strong> DJ Todd Storz created the "Top 40" in '49 after noting that fans would repeatedly play the same songs on the jukebox. </p>

<p><strong>24.</strong> The first Walkman went on sale in July 1979.</p>

<p><strong>25.</strong> Ray Charles' favorite dessert was sweet potato pie.</p>

<p><strong>26.</strong> Lily Allen sang "Heart of Glass" with Debbie Harry for the <em>Today</em> show last May.</p>

<p><strong>27.</strong> Avril Lavigne sang in church choirs, local festivals and county fairs before she secured a record deal.</p>

<p><strong>28.</strong> Justin Timberlake inducted the O'Jays into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2005. </p>

<p><strong>29.</strong> Huey Lewis briefly attended Cornell University and studied engineering.</p>

<p><strong>30.</strong> Ted Nugent claims to be ignorant of drug references in the Amboy Dukes' "Journey to the Center of the Mind." (Nugent is a lifetime member of Drug Abuse Resistance Education; he also played a drug dealer in a 1984 episode of <em>Miami Vice</em>.)</p>

<p><strong>31.</strong> Emerson, Lake and Palmer ended their performance at the Isle of Wight festival by shooting cannons on both sides of the stage.</p>

<p><strong>32.</strong> Pete Townshend helped design the now ubiquitous 100-watt Marshall amp stack.</p>

<p><strong>33.</strong> Neil Young's early band, the Mynah Birds, featured future super freak Rick James.</p>

<p><strong>34.</strong> Cream's "Badge" was co-written with George Harrison.</p>

<p><strong>35.</strong> Macy Gray performed at President George W. Bush's inauguration in January 2005.</p>

<p><strong>36.</strong> John Mellencamp suffered a major heart attack in 1994.</p>

<p><strong>37.</strong> Bad Company named themselves after the 1972 Robert Benton film of the same name. </p>

<p><strong>38.</strong> Journey's second drummer, Aynsley Dunbar, was a member of Frank Zappa's Mothers of Invention.</p>

<p><strong>39.</strong> Elvin Bishop was once jailed for stealing a preacher's jacket from a restaurant.</p>

<p><strong>40.</strong> The Compact Disc premiered in England in 1983.</p>

<p><strong>41.</strong> Smokey Robinson was born William Robinson.</p>

<p><strong>42.</strong> Conway Twitty was awarded the Amusement and Music Operators of America Jukebox Award in 1989.</p>

<p><strong>43.</strong> Jim Croce recorded background vocals for television commercials.</p>

<p><strong>44.</strong> Carly Simon's father co-founded Simon & Schuster.</p>

<p><strong>45.</strong> Though no soundtrack was released, Cat Stevens contributed songs to <em>Harold & Maude.</em></p>

<p><strong>46.</strong> England Dan became a country act after he split with John Ford Coley.</p>

<p><strong>47.</strong> Barry White co-produced the 1950s hit "Harlem Shuffle" record by doo-wop duo Bob & Earl.</p>

<p><strong>48.</strong>  Rush's Geddy Lee was born Geddy Lee Winerib.</p>

<p><strong>49.</strong> The Steve Miller Band backed Chuck Berry at the Fillmore.</p>

<p><strong>50.</strong> There have been over 20 members of Lynyrd Skynyrd during the band's career.</p>

<p><strong>51.</strong> Joe Walsh has provided guitar tracks for Ringo Starr, Richard Marx, Keith Moon and The Simpsons.</p>

<p><strong>52.</strong> In 2005 Led Zeppelin's Jimmy Page was named an Officer of the British Empire by Queen Elizabeth II.</p>

<p><strong>53.</strong> On Sept. 6, 2003 Bruce Springsteen played the first concert at Boston's Fenway Park in its 91-year history.</p>

<p><strong>54.</strong> Manager Chas Chandler convinced Slade to adopt a skinhead look as a gimmick.</p>

<p><strong>55.</strong> Steve Miller was a session musician for Muddy Waters, Buddy Guy and others.</p>

<p><strong>56.</strong> Sugarloaf was originally known as Chocolate Hair.</p>

<p><strong>57.</strong> The Eagles' <em>Desperado</em> was a concept album about outlaws.</p>

<p><strong>58.</strong> Jimi Hendrix was discharged from the Army after being injured during a parachute jump.</p>

<p><strong>59.</strong> T. Rex's Marc Bolan was born Marc Feld.</p>

<p><strong>60.</strong> Eddie Money was born Eddie Mahoney.</p>

<p><strong>61.</strong> Jackson Browne co-wrote the Eagles' hit "Take It Easy."</p>

<p><strong>62.</strong> The Rolling Stones' Brian Jones had fathered two illegitimate children by age 16.</p>

<p><strong>63.</strong> Stevie Wonder wrote Chaka Khan's "Tell Me Something Good." [Actually written for Khan but recorded with her band, Rufus]</p>

<p><strong>64.</strong> Dire Strait's Mark Knopfler wrote the Tina Turner comeback hit "Private Dancer."</p>

<p><strong>65.</strong> Styx's Tommy Shaw was once a member of MS Funk.</p>

<p><strong>66.</strong> Blue Oyster Cult's iconic hook and cross logo was designed by artist Bill Gawlick.</p>

<p><strong>67.</strong> Heminevrin, the drug that killed The Who's Keith Moon, was actually prescribed to combat his alcoholism.</p>

<p><strong>68.</strong> Foghat's debut album was largely produced by Dave Edmunds, but includes tracks produced by Todd Rundgren.</p>

<p><strong>69.</strong> In 1967, Norman Greenbaum retired from the music industry to run a dairy farm in California.</p>

<p><strong>70.</strong> Billy Joel briefly wrote record reviews for <em>Changes</em> magazine.</p>

<p><strong>71.</strong> The Clash's Joe Strummer was born John Graham Mellor.</p>

<p><strong>72.</strong> Glenn Danzig contributed two songs to the <em>Less Than Zero</em> soundtrack (1987).</p>

<p><strong>73.</strong> The Who's Keith Moon died in the same apartment that Mama Cass died in four years earlier.</p>

<p><strong>74.</strong> <em>Entertainment Weekly</em> listed Alice Cooper's "School's Out" among its list of "Top 10 Greatest Summer Songs."</p>

<p><strong>75.</strong> Queen's Freddie Mercury was born in Zanzibar, Africa.</p>

<p><strong>76.</strong> Linda Ronstadt attended Arizona State University.</p>

<p><strong>77.</strong> Paul McCartney appeared on the Steve Miller Band's "My Dark Hour" under the alias Paul Ramon.</p>

<p><strong>78.</strong> Mott the Hoople's "All The Young Dudes" was written by David Bowie.</p>

<p><strong>79.</strong> Buddy Guy suggested to Steve Miller that he call his band the Steve Miller Band.</p>

<p><strong>80.</strong> Led Zeppelin's Robert Plant suffered the tragedy of losing his son Karac to a stomach infection in 1977. </p>

<p><strong>81.</strong> Deep Purple was originally called Roundabout.</p>

<p><strong>82.</strong> Blue Oyster Cult originally went by the name Soft White Underbelly.</p>

<p><strong>83.</strong> Kiss' Gene Simmons was born in Haifa, Israel.</p>

<p><strong>84.</strong> Bad Company was the first band signed to Led Zeppelin's Swan Song label.</p>

<p><strong>85.</strong> Bob Welch appeared on five albums by Fleetwood Mac before leaving the band in 1975.</p>

<p><strong>86.</strong> The Beatles' Paul McCartney was born James Paul McCartney.</p>

<p><strong>87.</strong> Wal-Mart is the largest music retailer in the U.S.</p>

<p><strong>88.</strong> Black Sabbath took their title from the Boris Karloff film of the same name.</p>

<p><strong>89.</strong> Before joining Metallica, drummer Lars Ulrich was originally interested in a career as a pro tennis player.</p>

<p><strong>90.</strong> In 1990, Billy Joel played the first rock concert in the history of New York's Yankee Stadium.</p>

<p><strong>91.</strong> Supertramp turned down Greyhound's request to use "Take The Long Way Home" in bus commercials.</p>

<p><strong>92.</strong> Van Morrison was publicly silent between 1974 and 1977.</p>

<p><strong>93.</strong> Carole King was part of the Brill Building stable of songwriters in the 60s.</p>

<p><strong>94.</strong> Joe Walsh attended Kent State University.</p>

<p><strong>95.</strong> Steely Dan alumnus Michael McDonald joined the Doobie Brothers in 1975.</p>

<p><strong>96.</strong> Foreigner guitarist Mick Jones was a session musician and appeared on albums by George Harrison.</p>

<p><strong>97.</strong> Bachman-Turner Overdrive officially changed their name to BTO in 1978.</p>

<p><strong>98.</strong> Gary "Dream Weaver" Wright played keyboards on George Harrison's <em>Cloud Nine</em>. </p>

<p><strong>99.</strong> Early in his career, Brian Jones of the Rolling Stones performed as Elmo Lewis.</p>

<p><strong>100.</strong> The Cars' Benjamin Orr was born Benjamin Orzechowski.</p>

<p><strong>101.</strong> The Osmonds earned more Gold records in a single year than any other group in history.</p>

<p><strong>102.</strong> Sister Sledge was originally known as Mrs. William's Grandchildren. </p>

<p><strong>103.</strong> After Hank Williams' death in 1953, Ray Price inherited his band, the Drifting Cowboys.</p>

<p><strong>104.</strong> Journey's Steve Perry was previously a member of Alien Project.</p>

<p><strong>105.</strong> Michelle Shocked graduated from the University of Texas with a degree in Oral Interpretation of Literature.</p>

<p><strong>106.</strong> In 2003, Jay-Z became the first hip-hop star to ever have his own live televised concert special.</p>

<p><strong>107.</strong> Before deciding to pursue music, Blues Traveler's John Popper considered a career as a comedian.</p>

<p><strong>108.</strong> The Allman Brothers Band formed in Macon, Georgia in 1969.</p>

<p><strong>109.</strong> Deep Purple's Jon Lord played keyboards on the Kinks' "You Really Got Me."</p>

<p><strong>110.</strong> Manfred Mann was born Manfred Lubowitz.</p>

<p><strong>111.</strong> Billy Squier was a member of the Psychedelic Supermarket in 1968.</p>

<p><strong>112.</strong> Phil Collins can be seen briefly in the 1964 Beatles film <em>A Hard Day's Night</em>. </p>

<p><strong>113.</strong> X's debut album, <em>Los Angeles</em>, was engineered and produced by ex-Doors keyboardist Ray Manzarek.</p>

<p><strong>114.</strong> John Denver moved to Los Angeles when he was 20 to pursue a career in music.</p>

<p><strong>115.</strong> Led Zeppelin's John Paul Jones was born John Baldwin.</p>

<p><strong>116.</strong> Joe Cocker provided the theme songs for <em>9 1/2 Weeks</em>, <em>Bull Durham</em>, and <em>An Innocent Man</em>.</p>

<p><strong>117.</strong> Amy Winehouse cites Ray Charles as a major influence.</p>

<p><strong>118.</strong> Green Day was nominated for the International Album of the Year at the 2005 Juno Awards.</p>

<p><strong>119.</strong> Anne Murray taught physical education at a high school in Summerside, Prince Edward Island.</p>

<p><strong>120.</strong> Jimmy Cliff recorded a duet with Elvis Costello for the soundtrack to <em>Club Paradise</em>.</p>

<p><strong>121.</strong> LeAnn Rimes started singing before age 2.</p>

<p><strong>122.</strong> Boz Scaggs was born William Royce Scaggs.</p>

<p><strong>123.</strong> Kid Rock's real name is Robert James Ritchie.</p>

<p><strong>124.</strong> Lita Ford started playing guitar at age 11.</p>

<p><strong>125.</strong> John Mellencamp studied Broadcast Journalism at Vincennes University.</p>

<p><strong>126.</strong> Elvis Costello's "Accidents Will Happen" was influenced by a Dusty Springfield song. </p>

<p><strong>127.</strong> Amy Winehouse founded a group called Sweet 'n' Sour at age 10.</p>

<p><strong>128.</strong> An estimated 14,000 people attended the wedding of Hank Williams and Billie Jean Eshliman.</p>

<p><strong>129.</strong> The Who released one single under the name The High Numbers.</p>

<p><strong>130.</strong> Barry Manilow worked in the CBS mailroom while attending college.</p>

<p><strong>131.</strong> Meat Loaf earned his nickname in childhood due to his size.</p>

<p><strong>132.</strong> Rod Stewart was a member of the Jeff Beck Group.</p>

<p><strong>133.</strong> Tammy Wynette moved to Nashville with no job and three small children in 1966.</p>

<p><strong>134.</strong> Before his rap career, Biggie had dreams of becoming a dentist or a graphic artist.</p>

<p><strong>135.</strong> Rush formed as Alex Lifeson, Geddy Lee, and John Rutsey.</p>

<p><strong>136.</strong> Grand Funk Railroad's Mel Schacher was previously a member of ? and the Mysterians.</p>

<p><strong>137.</strong> Nilsson was one of the hundreds of musicians who tried out for the Monkees.</p>

<p><strong>138.</strong> A teacher once told Violent Femmes bassist Brian Ritchie he had no talent whatsoever.</p>

<p><strong>139.</strong> Sept. 3, 1988 marked Triumph's last performance with all the band's original members.</p>

<p><strong>140.</strong> Kelly Clarkson's middle name is Brianne.</p>

<p><strong>141.</strong> Acclaimed NY artist Jean-Michel Basquiat made an appearance in Blondie's "Rapture" video.</p>

<p><strong>142.</strong> Bruce Springsteen achieved his seventh No. 1 album with <em>Devils & Dust</em> in 2005.</p>

<p><strong>143.</strong> Duran Duran were joined onstage by Lou Reed at  New York City show in 1987.</p>

<p><strong>144.</strong> Cream's Jack Bruce was previously a member of Manfred Mann.</p>

<p><strong>145.</strong> The Spinners sang in the "Philly Soul" style even though they were from Detroit.</p>

<p><strong>146.</strong> Kool & the Gang's George Brown took on a paper route in order to buy his first set of drums.</p>

<p><strong>147.</strong> Aerosmith's Joe Perry was born Anthony Joseph Perry.</p>

<p><strong>148.</strong> Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody" reached No. 9 on <em>Billboard's</em> pop singles chart in 1979.</p>

<p><strong>149.</strong> Midnight Oil's Peter Garrett is seven feet tall.</p>

<p><strong>150.</strong> Concrete Blonde called themselves Dream 6 before signing to I.R.S. in 1985. </p>

<p><strong>151.</strong> Warrant's Erik Turner enjoys spending his spare time with his family and playing golf.</p>

<p><strong>152.</strong> Twisted Sister's Dee Snider sang in a classical choir until he was 19.</p>

<p><strong>153.</strong> The Oak Ridge Boys were among the first to bring long hair and beards to country music in the late '60s.</p>

<p><strong>154.</strong> In 1998 Mel Tillis was a spokesman for the Stuttering Foundation of America. </p>

<p><strong>155.</strong> In 1891 Columbia became the first to release a full catalogue of cylinders and phonographs.</p>

<p><strong>156.</strong> Roxy Music's self-titled debut was recorded in 19 days.</p>

<p><strong>157.</strong> Michael Johnson toured as a member of the Mitchell Trio, which included John Denver.</p>

<p><strong>158.</strong> John Entwistle and Pete Townshend of the Who met in high school.</p>

<p><strong>159.</strong> The Bellamy Brothers were originally known as Jericho.</p>

<p><strong>160.</strong> Teena Marie had a small part in TV's <em>The Beverly Hillbillies</em> at age 8.</p>

<p><strong>161.</strong> The "roots-rock" subgenre came into being the mid 80s partly as a counter movement to New Wave.</p>

<p><strong>162.</strong> Chicago formed in Chicago, IL on Feb. 15, 1967.</p>

<p><strong>163.</strong> Roxette's Per Gessle covered a Swedish version of Bob Dylan's Farval Angelina.</p>

<p><strong>164.</strong> Wham! disbanded in 1985.</p>

<p><strong>165.</strong> Lightnin' Hopkins' first instrument was a cigar-box guitar with chicken-wire guitar strings.</p>

<p><strong>166.</strong> Ratt's Warren Demartini played with Whitesnake on their 1994 tour.</p>

<p><strong>167.</strong> In 1976, Ibanez was forced to stop producing guitar copies due to a lawsuit.</p>

<p><strong>168.</strong> A child prodigy, Ronnie Milsap was proficient at both violin and piano.</p>

<p><strong>169.</strong> Yes' first major performance was at London's Speakeasy Club in 1968.</p>

<p><strong>170.</strong> The first Gold record was awarded to Glenn Miller's "Chattanooga Choo-Choo" in 1941.</p>

<p><strong>171.</strong> Carrie Underwood majored in Mass Communications at Northeastern State University.</p>

<p><strong>172.</strong> Fergie had a role in the 2006 film <em>Poseidon</em>.</p>

<p><strong>173.</strong> Hank Snow discovered Elvis Presley and took him on tour as his opening act.</p>

<p><strong>174.</strong> Corey Hart is best known for the 1984 smash hit "Sunglasses at Night."</p>

<p><strong>175.</strong> Mariah Carey released her self-titled debut in 1990.</p>

<p><strong>176.</strong> Bobby Brown married pop star Whitney Houston in 1992.</p>

<p><strong>177.</strong> The BBC Big Band won the British Jazz Award for Best Big Band in 1992, 1994, 1997, 1999, and 2001.</p>

<p><strong>178.</strong> Pearl Jam released their debut <em>Ten</em> in 1991.</p>

<p><strong>179.</strong> Styx's Ricky Phillips also played bass for Bad English and the Babys.</p>

<p><strong>180.</strong> Bearsville Studio in Woodstock, NY is one of the last remaining analog-only facilities.</p>

<p><strong>181.</strong> Emmylou Harris' third marriage was to singer-songwriter Paul Kennerley.</p>

<p><strong>182.</strong> LaBelle formed in 1961 as Patti Labelle and the Blue Belles.</p>

<p><strong>183.</strong> Isaac Hayes has said that he was never completely comfortable with his biblical nickname, "Black Moses."</p>

<p><strong>184.</strong> In 2003, the list price of a Fender American Stratocaster was $1,177.99.</p>

<p><strong>185.</strong> Nirvana formed in Aberdeen, WA in 1987.</p>

<p><strong>186.</strong> In 1989 Richard Marx toured with Tina Turner in Germany.</p>

<p><strong>187.</strong> Michael Sembello's wife accidentally sent "Maniac" to the producers of <em>Flashdance</em> and they loved it.</p>

<p><strong>189.</strong> Otis Redding was the father of four children.</p>

<p><strong>190.</strong> LeAnn Rimes made her stage debut as Tiny Time in <em>A Christmas Carol</em> at age 7.</p>

<p><strong>191.</strong> Bluegrass has always been ensemble music.</p>

<p><strong>192.</strong> Kenny Rogers was named the "Favorite Singer of All Time" in a 1986 national poll.</p>

<p><strong>193.</strong> Phillips introduced the first compact audio cassette in 1963.</p>

<p><strong>194.</strong> Whitney Houston is Dionne Warwick's cousin.</p>

<p><strong>195.</strong> As producer, David Bowie was responsible for the often debated "thin" sound of the Stooges' <em>Raw Power</em></p>

<p><strong>196.</strong> After graduating college Sheryl Crow became a music teacher for children with special needs in St. Louis.</p>

<p><strong>197.</strong> In 2002 Virgin Record paid Mariah Carey $28 million to split with the label.</p>

<p><strong>198.</strong> Danger Mouse of Gnarls Barkley used to make his own records under the name Pelican City.</p>

<p><strong>199.</strong> <em>The Andy Williams Christmas Album</em> hit No. 1 on the <em>Billboard</em> pop albums chart in 1963. </p>

<p><strong>200.</strong> Bruce Springsteen's first band was the Castiles.</p>

<p><strong>201.</strong> Da Brat's government name is Shawntae Harris.</p>

<p><strong>202.</strong> Barbara Mandrell has hosted <em>The Tonight Show</em> and <em>The People's Choice Awards</em>.</p>

<p><strong>203.</strong> After the Cadillacs joined with the Blue Notes, drummer Teddy Pendergrass became their lead singer.</p>

<p><strong>204.</strong> The Stylistics maintained a strong following in Britain after their American popularity had faded.</p>

<p><strong>205.</strong> White Lion's Mike Tramp cites <em>The Sopranos</em> and <em>Seinfeld</em> as his favorite television shows.</p>

<p><strong>206.</strong> Billy Idol lived in Long Island, NY from age 3 to age 7.</p>

<p><strong>207.</strong> Patti Smith dropped out of Glassboro State Teacher's College.</p>

<p><strong>208.</strong> Matt Sharp and Patrick Wilson formed the Rentals during Weezer's 1995 hiatus.</p>

<p><strong>209.</strong> Dolly Parton recorded for Fred Foster's Monument Records from 1965-67.</p>

<p><strong>210.</strong> According to <em>Billboard</em> magazine, Boys II Men was the best selling R&B group of the 20th century. </p>

<p><strong>211.</strong> Music copyrights end 70 years after the original artist's death.</p>

<p><strong>212.</strong> The first Walkman went on sale in July 1979.</p>

<p><strong>213.</strong> Ronnie James Dio replaced Ozzy Osbourne as the singer for Black Sabbath in 1979.</p>

<p><strong>214.</strong> Edgar Winter invented the keyboard body strap, a harness that allowed him to wear his instrument like a guitar.</p>

<p><strong>215.</strong> Daft Punk got their name when a music critic dismissed their first single as "daft punk". </p>

<p><strong>216.</strong> Moby was a producer on Brintey Spears' <em>In The Zone</em> (2003).</p>

<p><strong>217.</strong> Jim Reeves studied speech and drama at the University of Texas for six weeks and dropped out.</p>

<p><strong>218.</strong> Gold status indicates that the artist has arrived at 500,000 in sales.</p>

<p><strong>219.</strong> Sabian cymbals are available in approximately 120 countries.</p>

<p><strong>220.</strong> Halloween was formed in Hamburg, Germany by members of the bands Ironfist and Powerfool. </p>

<p><strong>221.</strong> Bob Dylan, Jewel, Emmylou Harris, Don Henley, and Paula Abdul have all covered songs by John Hiatt.</p>

<p><strong>222.</strong> Linkin Park's original name was Hybrid Theory.</p>

<p><strong>223.</strong> Michael Bolton collaborated with Bob Dylan on the song "Steel Bars."</p>

<p><strong>224.</strong> Over 40 channels to choose from.</p>

<p><strong>225.</strong> Puddle of Mudd won four Billboard Music Awards in Dec. 2002.</p>

<p><strong>226.</strong> Rush formed in the summer of 1968.</p>

<p><strong>227.</strong> Jeff Beck replaced Eric Clapton as lead guitarist for the Yardbirds in 1965.</p>

<p><strong>228.</strong> Kelly Clarkson has two tattoos, a Japanese symbol on her neck and a cross.</p>

<p><strong>229.</strong> You are listening to Music Choice.</p>

<p><strong>230.</strong> Modern pop music can be traced back to the 1950s when some early rockers began to change their sound.</p>

<p><strong>231.</strong> Howard Jones learned to play piano at age 7.</p>

<p><strong>232.</strong> Dawn reunited with Tony Orlando in 1988.</p>

<p><strong>233.</strong> Hot Butter's "Popcorn" was written by Gershon Kingsley.</p>

<p><strong>234.</strong> Hot Butter is best  known for the hit "Popcorn."</p>

<p><strong>235.</strong> Sly Stone was born Sylvester Stewart.</p>

<p><strong>236.</strong> Eddy Grant had a heart attack in his 20s, causing him to retire to his home studio.</p>

<p><strong>237.</strong> EMI records began as a merger of Columbia and Gramophone Company in 1931.</p>

<p><strong>238.</strong> Marvin Gaye was honorably discharged from the US Air Force in 1957.</p>

<p><strong>239.</strong> Jon Secada has sold over 20 million albums.</p>

<p><strong>240.</strong> Bryan Adams appeared as a musical guest on <em>Saturday Night Live</em> in 1985 with Harry Anderson hosting.</p>

<p><strong>241.</strong> Louisiana blues music was influenced by French, Spanish, African American, Creole and Cajun inhabitants.</p>

<p><strong>242.</strong> The Contours were brought to Motown by member Hubert Johnson's cousin, Jackie WIlson.</p>

<p><strong>243.</strong> Tony Bennett got his first break opening for singer Pearl Bailey.</p>

<p><strong>244.</strong> Philadelphia's Thomas M. Pierce Elementary School named their computer library after Jill Scott. </p>

<p><strong>245.</strong> C-Murder's government name is Corey Miller.</p>

<p><strong>246.</strong> Donna Fargo was born Yvonne Vaughn.</p>

<p><strong>247.</strong> Justin Timberlake's favorite singer is Donnie Hathaway.</p>

<p><strong>248.</strong> Egypt Central bassist Joey Chicago is from Wheaton, IL.</p>

<p><strong>249.</strong> Fleetwood Mac's "Tusk" peaked at No. 8 on the <em>Billboard's</em> pop singles chart in 1979.</p>

<p><strong>250.</strong> Duran Duran opened for Blondie on their 1982 tour.</p>

<p><strong>251.</strong> Pleasure (Pretty Ricky) told Music Choice he is unique and no adjectives can describe him. </p>

<p><strong>252.</strong> George Clinton attributes his ideas for extraordinary costumes and wild concerts to his LSD experimentation.</p>

<p><strong>253.</strong> During the 1940s and '50s many jazz artists toured Europe, where racial tensions were far less pronounced.</p>

<p><strong>254.</strong> After winning her first competition at age 5, LeAnn Rimes told her parents she wanted to be a star.</p>

<p><strong>255.</strong> Lil Mama attended Edward R. Murrow High School in Brooklyn.</p>

<p><strong>256.</strong> The Kooks have toured with the Thrills.</p>

<p><strong>257.</strong> The Smiths' Mike Joyce and Andy Rourke sued Steven Morrissey and Johnny Marr for unfair earnings distributions.</p>

<p><strong>258.</strong> David Bowie formed a mime troupe called the Feathers in 1969.</p>

<p><strong>259.</strong> Thelonious Monk was born Oct 10, 1917 in Rocky Mount, NC.</p>

<p><strong>260.</strong> Roger Greenway of Brotherhood of Man was also lead singer of the Fortunes.</p>

<p><strong>261.</strong> Nas attended Russell Simmons' first Hip Hop Youth Summit, which introduced an anti-drug campaign.</p>

<p><strong>262.</strong> Cal Smith worked as a truck driver and horse breaker.</p>

<p><strong>263.</strong> Sour Records was one of the first jungle labels to attract a mainstream following.</p>

<p><strong>264.</strong> Pop started as a mostly singles medium that was influenced by the beat and style of rock and roll.</p>

<p><strong>265.</strong> Chicago's Savoy Ballroom opend its doors on Nov. 23, 1927.</p>

<p><strong>266.</strong> The Bellamy Brothers started their annual Snake, Rattle and Roll benefit concerts in 1989.</p>

<p><strong>267.</strong> Morris Day's debut solo album was <em>Color of Success</em>.</p>

<p><strong>268.</strong> Fear Factory's cover of Gary Numan's "Cars" gave them their first Top Ten song.</p>

<p><strong>269.</strong> As a jingle singer, Janie Fricke's voice was on commercials of Coca-Cola, 7-Up and Red Lobster.</p>

<p><strong>270.</strong> The Scorpions toured the US with Iron Maiden in 1982.</p>

<p><strong>271.</strong> Macy Gray has a degree in Screenwriting from the University of Southern California.</p>

<p><strong>272.</strong> Did you know that Parker Brothers marketed the first Nerf foam ball? </p>

<p><strong>273.</strong> KISS' "Detroit Rock City" peaked at No. 7 on <em>Billboard's</em> Pop Singles chart in 1976.</p>

<p><strong>274.</strong> Snow's biggest hit was 1993's "The Informer."</p>

<p><strong>275.</strong> In 1961, Jimmie Rodgers became the first person inducted into the Country Music Hall of Fame.</p>

<p><strong>276.</strong> Chamillionaire calls himself "The Truth From Texas" and "Houston's Hardest Artist."</p>

<p><strong>277.</strong> Earth, Wind and Fire covered the Beatles' "Got To Get You Into My Life" in 1978.</p>

<p><strong>278.</strong> Lionel Richie won a Grammy in 1985 for his part in "We Are The World."</p>

<p><strong>279.</strong> The name Guns 'N Roses came from two members' former band names: L.A. Guns and Hollywood Roses.</p>

<p><strong>280.</strong> The Cure contributed a version of "Purple Haze" to the Hendrix tribute album <em>Stone Free</em>.</p>

<p><strong>281.</strong> Seals & Crofts released five Gold albums for Warner Bros. between '72 and '76.</p>

<p><strong>282.</strong> In 1958, Muddy Waters shocked Europe with his electric guitar blues.</p>

<p><strong>283.</strong> "Moon River" by Henry Mancini was one of the best-sellers of the '60s.</p>]]>
    </content>
</entry>
<entry>
    <title>The [Wednesday] Papers</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/column/the_wednesday_papers_123.php" />
    <link rel="service.edit" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/cgi-bin/mt/mt-atom.cgi/weblog/blog_id=1/entry_id=2317" title="The [Wednesday] Papers" />
    <id>tag:www.beachwoodreporter.com,2008://1.2317</id>
    
    <published>2008-07-23T14:38:18Z</published>
    <updated>2008-07-23T14:43:23Z</updated>
    
    <summary>Inside Urlacher&apos;s contract.</summary>
    <author>
        <name>Lou</name>
        <uri>www.beachwoodreporter.com</uri>
    </author>
            <category term="Column" />
            <category term="Top" />
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en" xml:base="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/">
        <![CDATA[<p>I'm attending to other matters this morning; the Papers will appear this afternoon or return tomorrow. And don't forget <a href="http://divisionstreet.wordpress.com" target="_blank"><em>Division Street</em></a> for an extra fix.</p>

<p>Also, we do have today a Beachwood Exclusive: <a href="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/sports/the_blue_orange_koolaid_report_49.php" target="_blank">Inside Brian Urlacher's contract</a>. </p>

<p><strong>The [Tuesday] Papers</strong><br />
<strong>1.</strong> "For presumptive Democratic presidential nominee Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill.), the political goals of visiting seven countries over nine days - maximizing media coverage along the way in a series of staged events with dramatic visual backdrops - is to plug his resume gap and show him on an equal footing with world leaders," <a href="http://blogs.suntimes.com/sweet/2008/07/post-61.html" target="_blank">Lynn Sweet writes</a>.</p>

<p>I love how you can plug a foreign policy gap these days by making a few campaign stops overseas. It's the "new kind of experience."</p>]]>
        <![CDATA[<p><strong>2.</strong> "Though many details of the trip were cloaked in secrecy, the Obama campaign arranged interviews not only with the three major network anchors - but 'exclusives' with other TV news heavyweights, one for almost each day of the trip," Sweet continues.</p>

<p>"Sunday was CBS in Afghanistan with Lara Logan; Monday ABC in Iraq with Terry Moran; Tuesday, CBS Kitty Couric in Amman; Wednesday, ABC's Charlie Gibson in Jerusalem; Thursday, NBC's Brian Williams in Berlin and Saturday in London, Fox's Bill Hemmer and NBC's <em>Meet the Press</em> with Tom Brokaw. This way, each outlet has 'their' day. Obama appeared on CNN's <em>Larry King Live</em> in the run-up publicity to the trip."</p>

<p>And somewhere in between his media appearances Obama will squeeze in a few meetings with foreign leaders.</p>

<p><strong>3.</strong> <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/07/21/obamas-revenge-emnew-york_n_113969.html" target="_blank">The similarities to Bush grow by the day</a>. Next he'll authorize spying on Americans . . . oh, wait.</p>

<p><strong>4.</strong> "The Obama campaign is planning a big public rally in a major park in Berlin on Thursday. Thousands of Germans are anticipated to attend when presumptive Democratic nominee Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill.) delivers what is being billed as a 'substantive' speech on Trans-Atlantic relations. Yet campaign top advisors Robert Gibbs and David Axelrod insist this is not a campaign event though it is conceived, organized, financed and executed by the campaign," <a href="http://blogs.suntimes.com/sweet/2008/07/word-torture-obama-staffers-in.html" target="_blank">Lynn Sweet also writes</a>.</p>

<p>Change you can believe in as long as you're not looking straight at it.</p>

<p><strong>5.</strong> <a href="http://divisionstreet.wordpress.com/2008/07/21/bbq-politics/" target="_blank">This isn't quite what I had in mind</a> for this poll in regards to how I was trying to structure the "other" option, but have at it anyway and leave comments - that was really supposed to be the key. Like, maybe tell us what each of the contestants would bring.</p>

<p><strong>6.</strong> What does it take to get a cop fired? <a href="http://www.chicagojustice.org/blog/?p=82" target="_blank">A helluva lot more than it takes to get you fired</a>.</p>

<p><strong>7.</strong> "The Daley administration is forging ahead with planning for a new western terminal at O'Hare Airport - though it doesn't yet have the money to design or build it and is not sure exactly how it would be used," the <em>Sun-Times</em> <a href="http://www.suntimes.com/news/transportation/1067391,CST-NWS-Ohare22.article" target="_blank">reports</a>.</p>

<p>Maybe it could be used as the new CTA Superstation.</p>

<p><strong>8.</strong> Obama's <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/14/opinion/14obama.html" target="_blank">recently published Op-Ed</a> in the <em>New York Times</em> on Iraq was a nicely reasoned piece, but <a href="http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5gK9VuoJnkQw1A9p3p7HeA-csWOGAD922HO9O0" target="_blank">the subsequent rejection</a> of John McCain's response illustrates one of many reasons why publishing press releases from candidates and office-holders as Op-Eds is a bad idea. Let 'em buy an ad.</p>

<p><strong>9.</strong> "Magna Global last week announced that the age of the average network-TV viewer has reached the 50-year mark," <em>Ad Age</em> <a href="http://64.233.167.104/search?q=cache:nrMsuNjm41wJ:adage.com/columns/article%3Farticle_id%3D129504+Magna+Global+last+week+announced+that+the+age+of+the+average+network-TV+viewer+has+reached+the+50-year+mark&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=1&gl=us&client=firefox-a" target="_blank">reports</a>.</p>

<p>So only a few years younger now than the average newspaper reader.</p>

<p>*</p>

<p>Redesigning newspapers, by the way, <a href="http://www.chicagobusiness.com/cgi-bin/news.pl?rssFeed=news&id=30261" target="_blank">as the Trib is now doing</a>, will not garner many new readers no matter how snappy. It's too late for that. The cycle of habit has been broken. The purpose of the print product now ought to be as a supplement to the website. And putting consumer and entertainment news front and center is an awful idea. Strip the paper down to news and news only. You can't compete with stale entertainment news. Then develop new print products, like a sports weekly, a photo weekly, a local <em>Onion</em> . . . it's time for newspapers - and their websites - to disaggregate. Ironic, isn't it? </p>

<p>*</p>

<p>But really, the entire newsroom should now work for the website, and every night a small group of editors should pluck the most important news stories from the website and place them into the newspaper.</p>

<p><strong>10.</strong> <a href="http://poynter.org/forum/view_post.asp?id=13491" target="_blank">This is terrible news for Chicagoans</a>, but <a href="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/column/the_wednesday_papers_15.php" target="_blank">the paper's dismantling began long ago</a>. And you know what? When they came for the <em>Baltimore Sun</em>, the <em>Chicago Tribune</em> didn't say anything. And when they came for the <em>Hartford Courant</em>, the <em>Chicago Tribune</em> didn't say anything. And when they came for <em>Newsday</em>, the <em>Chicago Tribune</em> didn't say anything. And when they came for the <em>Los Angeles Times</em> - over and over and over again - the <em>Chicago Tribune</em> didn't say anything. And you know how this ends: when they came for the <em>Chicago Tribune</em>, there was nobody left to speak up for the <em>Chicago Tribune</em>.</p>

<p>*</p>

<p>We have openings at the Beachwood, though. Just think what we could do if we skimmed the cream of the laid off, fired, resigned crop. <a href="mailto:srhodes@beachwoodreporter.com">Seriously</a>.</p>

<p><strong>11.</strong> The <em>Tribune's</em> <a href="http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/cs-080721-jerome-holtzman-death,0,3762261.story" target="_blank">tribute to Jerome Holtzman</a> today recalls how the <em>Sun-Times</em> chased him off in 1981. </p>

<p><strong>12.</strong> <a href="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/people_places_things/the_droll_world_of_james_warre.php" target="_blank">The Droll World of James Warren</a>.</p>

<p><strong>13.</strong> <a href="http://www.ctatattler.com/2008/07/more-thoughts-o.html" target="_blank">More Thoughts On What To Do When Faced With A CTA Perv</a>.</p>

<p><em>The Beachwood <a href="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/tipline.php" target="_blank">Tip Line</a>: Less talk, more action.</em></p>]]>
    </content>
</entry>
<entry>
    <title>The Blue &amp; Orange Kool-Aid Report: Special Urlacher Contract Edition</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/sports/the_blue_orange_koolaid_report_49.php" />
    <link rel="service.edit" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/cgi-bin/mt/mt-atom.cgi/weblog/blog_id=1/entry_id=2316" title="The Blue &amp; Orange Kool-Aid Report: Special Urlacher Contract Edition" />
    <id>tag:www.beachwoodreporter.com,2008://1.2316</id>
    
    <published>2008-07-23T06:06:25Z</published>
    <updated>2008-07-23T13:38:45Z</updated>
    
    <summary>An exclusive look at the new Urlacher rules.</summary>
    <author>
        <name>Lou</name>
        <uri>www.beachwoodreporter.com</uri>
    </author>
            <category term="Kool-Aid" />
            <category term="Sports" />
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en" xml:base="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/">
        <![CDATA[<p>After painstaking work, the crack Beachwood legal and document retrieval team has acquired the lesser known details of <a href="http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601079&sid=aGgFFPqwRBuU&refer=home" target="_blank">Brian Urlacher's new contract</a>. Do you think its easy being an NFL star? Imagine having to live up to these stipulations. Gladly, Urlacher has handled himself with the highest level of class, so I believe none of these will pose much of a problem. Here are the highlights:</p>

<p>* Be on-call 24/7 to serve as Lance Briggs' designated driver.</p>

<p>* Once released, Urlacher retains all promotional and figure-action rights to the Paris Hilton sex tape. Also known as the George Lucas Rule.</p>

<p>* Required to give full answers to all reporters' questions, unless one of these phrases appears in the question: "arthritic back", "offensive futility", "missing Cedric Benson", "poor receivers", "quarterback controversy", "once proud Bears defense", "what are you getting all your kids (and I do mean all) for Christmas", and "have you thought about a condom?".</p>]]>
        <![CDATA[<p>* Will receive a performance bonus every time John Madden names Urlacher "an elite linebacker" or "somebody the Bears still can rebuild around."</p>

<p>* Must refer to Matt Forte by his name and never by any of the following: "Bozo the Clown," "Matt Pianissimo," "Will Forte's brother." or "the guy that we drafted instead of Rashard Mendenhall."</p>

<p>* Must serve as one of four Bears to carry Devin Hester and his portable throne from the tunnel to the bench. Hopefully the gesture will keep Chicago's best player here after Hester is told "we cannot afford to pay you, especially after we had to pay Urlacher."</p>

<p>* Will be required to sign 25 items before or after every home game: shirts, jerseys, photos, footballs. Not required to sign: Maternity shirts, toddler-sized jerseys, kindergarten school photos, and footballs part of any paternity settlement. </p>

<p>* Will not be required to fill the hole for running plays up the middle. Instead, Urlacher will retain the right to call in stunt double for all unpleasant run-stopping situations.</p>

<p>* Required to act like he loves the fans of Chicago until he grows unhappy with his new contract.</p>

<p>* Urlacher is now required to thank Barack Obama instead of God for giving him the ability to succeed.</p>

<p>* Must hug Lovie Smith after every game and assure him that "Everything will be alright. We tried, and gosh darn it, if we keep trying, we'll get this thing turned around."</p>

<p>-</p>

<p><em>For more Emery, see the <a href="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/koolaid/" target="_blank">Kool-Aid archive</a>, and the <a href="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/over_under/" target="_blank">Over/Under archive</a>. Emery accepts <a href="mailto:Eric_Emery12345@yahoo.com">comments</a> from Bears fans reluctantly and everyone else tolerably.</em><br />
</p>]]>
    </content>
</entry>
<entry>
    <title>The [Tuesday] Papers</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/column/the_tuesday_papers_115.php" />
    <link rel="service.edit" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/cgi-bin/mt/mt-atom.cgi/weblog/blog_id=1/entry_id=2315" title="The [Tuesday] Papers" />
    <id>tag:www.beachwoodreporter.com,2008://1.2315</id>
    
    <published>2008-07-22T15:03:07Z</published>
    <updated>2008-07-22T15:31:44Z</updated>
    
    <summary>The new kind of foreign policy experience. </summary>
    <author>
        <name>Lou</name>
        <uri>www.beachwoodreporter.com</uri>
    </author>
            <category term="Column" />
            <category term="Top" />
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en" xml:base="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/">
        <![CDATA[<p><strong>1.</strong> "For presumptive Democratic presidential nominee Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill.), the political goals of visiting seven countries over nine days - maximizing media coverage along the way in a series of staged events with dramatic visual backdrops - is to plug his resume gap and show him on an equal footing with world leaders," <a href="http://blogs.suntimes.com/sweet/2008/07/post-61.html" target="_blank">Lynn Sweet writes</a>.</p>

<p>I love how you can plug a foreign policy gap these days by making a few campaign stops overseas. It's the "new kind of experience."</p>]]>
        <![CDATA[<p><strong>2.</strong> "Though many details of the trip were cloaked in secrecy, the Obama campaign arranged interviews not only with the three major network anchors - but 'exclusives' with other TV news heavyweights, one for almost each day of the trip," Sweet continues.</p>

<p>"Sunday was CBS in Afghanistan with Lara Logan; Monday ABC in Iraq with Terry Moran; Tuesday, CBS Kitty Couric in Amman; Wednesday, ABC's Charlie Gibson in Jerusalem; Thursday, NBC's Brian Williams in Berlin and Saturday in London, Fox's Bill Hemmer and NBC's <em>Meet the Press</em> with Tom Brokaw. This way, each outlet has 'their' day. Obama appeared on CNN's <em>Larry King Live</em> in the run-up publicity to the trip."</p>

<p>And somewhere in between his media appearances Obama will squeeze in a few meetings with foreign leaders.</p>

<p><strong>3.</strong> <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/07/21/obamas-revenge-emnew-york_n_113969.html" target="_blank">The similarities to Bush grow by the day</a>. Next he'll authorize spying on Americans . . . oh, wait.</p>

<p><strong>4.</strong> "The Obama campaign is planning a big public rally in a major park in Berlin on Thursday. Thousands of Germans are anticipated to attend when presumptive Democratic nominee Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill.) delivers what is being billed as a 'substantive' speech on Trans-Atlantic relations. Yet campaign top advisors Robert Gibbs and David Axelrod insist this is not a campaign event though it is conceived, organized, financed and executed by the campaign," <a href="http://blogs.suntimes.com/sweet/2008/07/word-torture-obama-staffers-in.html" target="_blank">Lynn Sweet also writes</a>.</p>

<p>Change you can believe in as long as you're not looking straight at it.</p>

<p><strong>5.</strong> <a href="http://divisionstreet.wordpress.com/2008/07/21/bbq-politics/" target="_blank">This isn't quite what I had in mind</a> for this poll in regards to how I was trying to structure the "other" option, but have at it anyway and leave comments - that was really supposed to be the key. Like, maybe tell us what each of the contestants would bring.</p>

<p><strong>6.</strong> What does it take to get a cop fired? <a href="http://www.chicagojustice.org/blog/?p=82" target="_blank">A helluva lot more than it takes to get you fired</a>.</p>

<p><strong>7.</strong> "The Daley administration is forging ahead with planning for a new western terminal at O'Hare Airport - though it doesn't yet have the money to design or build it and is not sure exactly how it would be used," the <em>Sun-Times</em> <a href="http://www.suntimes.com/news/transportation/1067391,CST-NWS-Ohare22.article" target="_blank">reports</a>.</p>

<p>Maybe it could be used as the new CTA Superstation.</p>

<p><strong>8.</strong> Obama's <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/14/opinion/14obama.html" target="_blank">recently published Op-Ed</a> in the <em>New York Times</em> on Iraq was a nicely reasoned piece, but <a href="http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5gK9VuoJnkQw1A9p3p7HeA-csWOGAD922HO9O0" target="_blank">the subsequent rejection</a> of John McCain's response illustrates one of many reasons why publishing press releases from candidates and office-holders as Op-Eds is a bad idea. Let 'em buy an ad.</p>

<p><strong>9.</strong> "Magna Global last week announced that the age of the average network-TV viewer has reached the 50-year mark," <em>Ad Age</em> <a href="http://64.233.167.104/search?q=cache:nrMsuNjm41wJ:adage.com/columns/article%3Farticle_id%3D129504+Magna+Global+last+week+announced+that+the+age+of+the+average+network-TV+viewer+has+reached+the+50-year+mark&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=1&gl=us&client=firefox-a" target="_blank">reports</a>.</p>

<p>So only a few years younger now than the average newspaper reader.</p>

<p>*</p>

<p>Redesigning newspapers, by the way, <a href="http://www.chicagobusiness.com/cgi-bin/news.pl?rssFeed=news&id=30261" target="_blank">as the Trib is now doing</a>, will not garner many new readers no matter how snappy. It's too late for that. The cycle of habit has been broken. The purpose of the print product now ought to be as a supplement to the website. And putting consumer and entertainment news front and center is an awful idea. Strip the paper down to news and news only. You can't compete with stale entertainment news. Then develop new print products, like a sports weekly, a photo weekly, a local <em>Onion</em> . . . it's time for newspapers - and their websites - to disaggregate. Ironic, isn't it? </p>

<p>*</p>

<p>But really, the entire newsroom should now work for the website, and every night a small group of editors should pluck the most important news stories from the website and place them into the newspaper.</p>

<p><strong>10.</strong> <a href="http://poynter.org/forum/view_post.asp?id=13491" target="_blank">This is terrible news for Chicagoans</a>, but <a href="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/column/the_wednesday_papers_15.php" target="_blank">the paper's dismantling began long ago</a>. And you know what? When they came for the <em>Baltimore Sun</em>, the <em>Chicago Tribune</em> didn't say anything. And when they came for the <em>Hartford Courant</em>, the <em>Chicago Tribune</em> didn't say anything. And when they came for <em>Newsday</em>, the <em>Chicago Tribune</em> didn't say anything. And when they came for the <em>Los Angeles Times</em> - over and over and over again - the <em>Chicago Tribune</em> didn't say anything. And you know how this ends: when they came for the <em>Chicago Tribune</em>, there was nobody left to speak up for the <em>Chicago Tribune</em>.</p>

<p>*</p>

<p>We have openings at the Beachwood, though. Just think what we could do if we skimmed the cream of the laid off, fired, resigned crop. <a href="mailto:srhodes@beachwoodreporter.com">Seriously</a>.</p>

<p><strong>11.</strong> The <em>Tribune's</em> <a href="http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/cs-080721-jerome-holtzman-death,0,3762261.story" target="_blank">tribute to Jerome Holtzman</a> today recalls how the <em>Sun-Times</em> chased him off in 1981. </p>

<p><strong>12.</strong> <a href="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/people_places_things/the_droll_world_of_james_warre.php" target="_blank">The Droll World of James Warren</a>.</p>

<p><strong>13.</strong> <a href="http://www.ctatattler.com/2008/07/more-thoughts-o.html" target="_blank">More Thoughts On What To Do When Faced With A CTA Perv</a>.</p>

<p><em>The Beachwood <a href="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/tipline.php" target="_blank">Tip Line</a>: Less talk, more action.</em></p>

<p><br />
</p>]]>
    </content>
</entry>
<entry>
    <title>The Droll World of James Warren</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/people_places_things/the_droll_world_of_james_warre.php" />
    <link rel="service.edit" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/cgi-bin/mt/mt-atom.cgi/weblog/blog_id=1/entry_id=2314" title="The Droll World of James Warren" />
    <id>tag:www.beachwoodreporter.com,2008://1.2314</id>
    
    <published>2008-07-22T10:15:35Z</published>
    <updated>2008-07-22T10:58:17Z</updated>
    
    <summary>From Dennis Kucinich to Dr. Spock, it&apos;s a droll, droll world.</summary>
    <author>
        <name>Lou</name>
        <uri>www.beachwoodreporter.com</uri>
    </author>
            <category term="People Places &amp; Things" />
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en" xml:base="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/">
        <![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.thefreedictionary.com/droll" target="_blank">Droll</a>.</p>

<p><strong>1.</strong> "Thomas Frank is a brainy, <strong>droll</strong> Kansas native who has his doubts about capitalism and conservative populism, and can infuriate both Democrats and Republicans.<br />
- <a href="http://www.chicagotribune.com/features/lifestyle/chi-magazines-0721jul21,0,3756542.story" target="_blank"><em>July 21, 2008</em></a></p>

<p><strong>2.</strong> "But Flanagan's review of Walters' new memoir, <em>Audition</em>, is a superb, <strong>droll</strong> essay on a person ridiculed by the press elite who has 'elicited more irreducible statements of self from more notable people than have all the giants of New Journalism.'"<br />
- <a href="http://xml.baltimoresun.com/features/lifestyle/chi-magazines_0512may12,0,1322547.story" target="_blank"><em>May 12, 2008</em></a></p>

<p><strong>3.</strong> "July <em>Esquire</em> is excellent with a novella from Stephen King; a valiant Tom Junod attempt to offer a few insights on Angelina Jolie we've not read before; and a <strong>droll</strong> shot at competitor <em>Vanity Fair</em> with a page of mock covers of "Other Magazines Bono is Guest Editing This Month," including <em>Disney Adventures</em>, <em>Us Weekly</em>, <em>Cosmopolitan</em> and Delta's in-flight Sky (replete with "The Ten Most Egregious Sweatshops in Vietnam."<br />
- <a href="http://www.leatherneck.com/forums/archive/index.php/t-48457.html" target="_blank"><em>June 18, 2007</em></a></p>]]>
        <![CDATA[<p><strong>4.</strong> "Slate.com is worth a very <strong>droll</strong> video, <em>Nino Scalia IS Jack Bauer</em>, with the online magazine's cartoon imagining Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia starring as Bauer in <em>24</em> and starting his day threatening the life of Justice Anthony Kennedy, the frequent swing vote on the court these days, getting him to promise he will stop caring what liberals and the <em>New York Times</em> editorial page think of him."<br />
- <em>October 15, 2007</em></p>

<p><strong>5.</strong> "And the cover features maniacally <strong>droll</strong> Comedy Central show host Stephen Colbert sawing through an iPod and promoting his own contribution."<br />
- <a href="http://www.highbeam.com/doc/1G1-148863004.html" target="_blank"><em>July 31, 2006</em></a><br />
 <br />
<strong>6.</strong> "In recent episodes of <em>Gilmore Girls</em>, the wonderfully <strong>droll</strong> favorite of teens and their moms on the WB Network, a coup d'tat at the <em>Yale Daily News</em> brought the firing of the tyrannical undergraduate editor."<br />
- <a href="http://www.washingtonmonthly.com/features/2006/0606.warren.html" target="_blank"><em>June 2006</em></a></p>

<p><strong>7.</strong> "June-July <em>Details</em> has a <strong>droll</strong> Jeff Wise opus on how he relented, learned the tricks of the trade and served as a male stripper for a day at a chum's bachelorette party."<br />
- <em>July 5, 2004</em></p>

<p><strong>8.</strong> "Elsewhere, the issue draws laughs with very <strong>droll</strong> Christopher Buckley's fictional tale on a Washington publicist who takes on a billionaire client whose aim is simple: elect an American pope."<br />
- <em>March 24, 2003</em></p>

<p><strong>9.</strong> "Columns that were 'snappy and sharp and kind of <strong>droll</strong> and maybe a little bit cynical . . . were very often instantly perceived as unappealing, and didn't have the sort of air of authority and neutrality which they tend to associate with Ann Landers'."<br />
- <a href="http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/nj/powers2003-01-08.htm" target="_blank"><em>January 8 , 2003</em></a></p>

<p><strong>10.</strong> "Sept. 3 <em>Weekly Standard</em> includes Andrew Ferguson's stout and <strong>droll</strong> defense of President [Bush]'s apparently favorite book (judging by his quoting it all the time before schoolchildren), namely <em>The Very Hungry Caterpillar</em>."<br />
- <em>Aug. 31, 2001</em></p>

<p><strong>11.</strong> "In March 12 <em>New Yorker</em>, Adam Gopnik crafts a <strong>droll</strong> dissection of the weird New York gun possession trial of rap mogul Puff Daddy, which he finds 'keeps returning, strangely but inexorably, to questions of tailoring.'"<br />
- <em>March 9, 2001</em></p>

<p><strong>12.</strong> "Writer Hillary Johnson's <strong>droll</strong> 'Driving to the Boardroom' opens with all the usual data about guys and golf, with one survey of Fortune 500 chief executive officers indicating that 98 percent described themselves as golfers."<br />
- <em>May 26, 2000</em></p>

<p><strong>13.</strong> "Ever engaging and <strong>droll</strong>, the 61-year-old ex-Republican stalwart made the following points during a session at a home whose small bar area features dandy behind-the-scenes photos of President Reagan and [Pat] Buchanan amid the breakup of the historic Reykjavik summit, and Reagan watching a replay of the Challenger explosion, both in 1986 (and both taken by current <em>Tribune</em> photographer Pete Souza, then the official White House snapper)."<br />
- <em>March 12, 2000</em></p>

<p><strong>14.</strong> "If there were doubts, they are dispelled in the Nov. 10 issue of <em>National Review</em>, the increasingly snoozy bastion of right-leaning thought. It comes via <strong>droll</strong> Florence King's critique of both the group and her fellow conservative columnists."<br />
- <em>October 31, 1997</em></p>

<p><strong>15.</strong> Alternately <strong>droll</strong>, irascible, self-righteous, self-pitying and intriguingly coy about longtime CIA ties, Tamraz provided the first vivid look at a largely maligned species during the 6-week-old hearing: a major political contributor."<br />
- <em>September 19, 1997</em></p>

<p><strong>16.</strong> "The surfacing of Kucinich, now a 50-year-old freshman Democratic congressman, as a <strong>droll</strong> amateur comic came at one of the humongous dinners that bring the capital's media and political establishments together in mind-numbing orgies of smugness and self-congratulation."<br />
- <em>February 2, 1997</em></p>

<p><strong>17.</strong> "He's healthy, <strong>droll</strong> and forever associated with his <em>Baby and Child Care</em>, which was published in May 1946, revised five times and sold a stunning 43 million copies."<br />
- <em>May 17, 1996</em></p>

<p><strong>18.</strong> "Well, to be honest, the way it's put by Florence King, a wonderfully <strong>droll</strong> essayist, in Feb. 12 <em>National Review</em> is thus: 'Any woman who goes on television and discusses her affairs, betrayals, suicide attempts, and vomiting habits, and then says, I'm a very strong person, is an American.'"<br />
- <em>Feb. 16, 1996</em></p>

<p><strong>19.</strong> "A Minnesota native, he is an unabashed liberal who has directed the First Couple in two <strong>droll</strong> spoofs at the Gridiron dinner; the annual homage to Washington's media and political establishment."<br />
- <em>January 21, 1996</em></p>

<p><strong>20.</strong> "Well, at least in the mind of Chicago native Sidney Blumenthal, a cerebral and <strong>droll</strong> Washington-based special political correspondent for <em>The New Yorker</em> magazine and author of a fine book on the 1988 presidential campaign, <em>Pledging Allegiance</em>." <br />
- <em>January 21, 1996</em></p>

<p><strong>21</strong> "But there it is, in Nov. 27 <em>National Review</em>, as <strong>droll</strong> essayist King offers a dissertation on the 'rogue conscience'."<br />
- <em> November 17, 1995</em></p>

<p><strong>22.</strong> "The ever-entertaining, if at times <strong>too-droll-by-half</strong>, O'Rourke offers a defense of libertarianism and a broadside at the collectivist overreaching he equates (as does the card-carrying liberal Greider to some extent) with government, albeit a tad defensively."<br />
- <em>June 29, 1995</em></p>

<p><strong>23.</strong> "Recent well-publicized performances, in debating NAFTA with Ross Perot and being <strong>droll</strong> (if very premeditated) on David Letterman's show, have helped to deflate his image as a stiff."<br />
- <em>April 21, 1994</em></p>

<p><strong>24.</strong> "I was soon followed by Novak, whose fearsome TV persona ('Prince of Darkness' is a nickname) was belied by magnanimity in greeting me, a stranger, and launching into <strong>droll</strong> recollections of the then-resolutely right-wing <em>Tribune</em> bureau when he got to Washington 36 years ago as a wire service reporter."<br />
- <em>January 9, 1994</em></p>

<p><strong>25.</strong> "Anyway, she's <strong>droll</strong> here, conceding that she has been caught smoking about a dozen times, panicked at her first sight of in-flight phones (she thought people could call her), and much prefers friends with private jets ('in a friend a good personality trait is a Gulfstream')."<br />
- <em>January 6, 1994</em></p>

<p><strong>26.</strong> "Husni, 40, a <strong>droll</strong> Lebanese Christian raised in Tripoli, Lebanon, knows this media errata better than anyone because, besides teaching journalism at the University of Mississippi, he chronicles new magazines with the specificity Margaret Mead used in inspecting child-rearing on Samoa."<br />
- <em>March 11, 1993</em></p>

<p><strong>27.</strong> "Von Hoffman's is a <strong>droll</strong> essay on books and politicians, who 'by and large don't read'."<br />
- <em>February 11, 1993</em></p>

<p><strong>28.</strong> "Stevens, 37, recently left her job running a public relations firm and, with four partners (three straights and one gay), started Cardthartic Inc., 814 N. Franklin St. It relies on lesbian and gay artists and writers to produce genteel and <strong>droll</strong> cards found in about 75 mostly gay-oriented stores in 30 states."<br />
- <em>November 29, 1992</em></p>

<p><strong>29.</strong> "Was this, I asked, the Paul Brancato who since 1987 has created provocative, and informative, trading cards on events rife with collusion and intrigue, including John Kennedy's assassination, the Iran-Contra scandal, and worldwide drug wars; cards with a <strong>droll</strong> and leftish - or, as he prefers, 'humanist' - thrust, found in comic book and alternative book stores nationwide?"<br />
- <em>September 27, 1992</em></p>

<p><strong>30.</strong> "Unfortunately, 'they weren't part of our elite distribution force,' said a <strong>droll</strong> Deford, editor of the paper, too many copies of which, sadly, are being stolen from honor boxes and not enough bought."<br />
- <em>June 2, 1991</em></p>

<p><strong>31.</strong> "Meanwhile, the April-May <em>Investment Vision</em>, an imaginative new business publication, has superior economics free-lancer L.J. Davis on the stupidity that helps explain the nation's banking mess; Donald Katz, author of a fine Sears Roebuck & Co. biography, on the 'Holy War' between fundamentalist Southern Baptists and moderates to control $3.2 billion in assets entrusted to Dallas-based Annuity Board of the Southern Baptist Convention; and a <strong>droll</strong> but serious dissection on the link between the weather and investing. ($2.50, 82 Devonshire St. R25A, Boston, Mass., 02109)"<br />
- <em>April 11, 1991</em></p>

<p><strong>32.</strong> "Andy Rooney, a star of CBS' popular <em>60 Minutes</em> who often begins his commentaries with whiny and <strong>droll</strong> queries, was suspended for at least three months without pay because of racist remarks attributed to him in a national gay magazine."<br />
- <em>February 9, 1990</em></p>

<p><strong>33.</strong> "The article ranges from the <strong>droll</strong>, including the ways she intentionally tweeks a staid village and the curious attachment the region's citizens have for Oregon, to the melancholy of the Mademoiselle's physical deterioration and the suspicion that change is nipping at her vines and is likely to end her charming era."<br />
- <em>January 4, 1990</em></p>

<p><strong>34.</strong> "For the week of June 12, he crafted panels on the protest that would have seemed typically <strong>droll</strong> if it hadn't been for the bloody government measures taken shortly after he sent the strips to Universal Press Syndicate for distribution."<br />
- <em>June 8, 1989</em></p>

<p><strong>35.</strong> "The June <em>Esquire</em> offers a fine mix of the damning (via Hayden), the <strong>droll</strong> (a Michael J. Fox tale) and the melancholy (a Muhammad Ali profile), all of which outshines a cover story on comic Robin Williams."<br />
- <em>May 25, 1989</em></p>

<p><strong>36.</strong> "The April <em>Texas Monthly</em> has a neatly <strong>droll</strong> and revealing look at predicaments for the propertied class and caring friends via Alison Cook's primer on how to act in an era of austerity."<br />
- <em>April 1, 1987</em></p>

<p><strong>37.</strong> "The October issue of <em>New England Monthly</em>, one of several regional publications that dwarf <em>Chicago</em> magazine in quality and imagination, profiles this curious human subculture in 'Nerd University.' It's an MIT professor's <strong>droll</strong> look at the most obsessive inhabitants of a maniacally rigorous world."<br />
- <em>October 8, 1986</em></p>

<p><strong>38.</strong> "The June issue of <em>House & Garden</em> highlights the daunting social predicament via a <strong>droll</strong> tale, 'Tipping in America.' It's by Alexander Cockburn, a talented journalist known for his refinement, rage and fervently leftist analyses of political affairs."<br />
- <em>May 22, 1985</em></p>

<p><br />
</p>]]>
    </content>
</entry>
<entry>
    <title>The Periodical Table</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/books/the_periodical_table_42.php" />
    <link rel="service.edit" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/cgi-bin/mt/mt-atom.cgi/weblog/blog_id=1/entry_id=2313" title="The Periodical Table" />
    <id>tag:www.beachwoodreporter.com,2008://1.2313</id>
    
    <published>2008-07-22T09:36:46Z</published>
    <updated>2008-07-22T09:57:12Z</updated>
    
    <summary>The Sears Tower and The Will of an Epoch.</summary>
    <author>
        <name>Lou</name>
        <uri>www.beachwoodreporter.com</uri>
    </author>
            <category term="Books" />
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en" xml:base="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/">
        <![CDATA[<p>Setting aside <a href="http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2008/07/21/080721fa_fact_lizza/" target="_blank">the Obama story</a> (for now), the now-famed issue of the <em>New Yorker</em> is noteworthy on a couple of other counts.</p>

<p>This piece of artwork in the art listings caught my eye. It's by Pepe Villegas, and it's called "Sears Tower, 1997."</p>

<p><img alt="SearsTower.jpg" src="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/SearsTower.jpg" width="350" height="466" /></p>]]>
        <![CDATA[<p>It's from an exhibition Villegas has running at the Charles Cowles Gallery in Chelsea. Here's what <a href="http://www.pepevillegas.com/" target="_blank">his website</a> says about it: </p>

<p>"The exhibition, <em>The Will of an Epoch</em>, consists of the first series of photographic assemblage of architectural iconic structures that objectify the identity and consciousness of a moment in modern society.</p>

<p>"The chosen eight structures, from the architectural expressionism of Eero Saarinen's TWA Terminal to the environmental consciousness of Renzo Piano's New York Times Building, embody a physical impression of a manifestation contemporary to its place and time.</p>

<p>"The title of this series is inspired by a segment of a quote by Ludwig Mies van der Rohe who envisioned a need for an architecture expressive of and in harmony with his epoch.</p>

<p>"This series concept is to personalize and immortalize a visual presentation of popular landmarks, 'highlighted' amidst their urban context by incorporating their character in oneness through the application of vivacious colors from curious angles, emphasizing their identity by a technique that blends both the negative and positive essence, creating a contrasting perception respectively, resulting in a provocative ensemble.</p>

<p>"Ultimately, to celebrate and acknowledge their iconic relevance, anchoring the observer psychologically in the liveliness of a place and an era of socio-economical transformation in mankind."</p>

<p>You might also recognize the building used on this invitation.</p>

<p><img alt="Invite.jpg" src="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/Invite.jpg" width="350" height="533" /></p>]]>
    </content>
</entry>
<entry>
    <title>Political Odds</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/politics/political_odds.php" />
    <link rel="service.edit" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/cgi-bin/mt/mt-atom.cgi/weblog/blog_id=1/entry_id=41" title="Political Odds" />
    <id>tag:www.beachwoodreporter.com,2006://1.41</id>
    
    <published>2008-07-22T06:48:04Z</published>
    <updated>2008-07-22T11:24:56Z</updated>
    
    <summary>For entertainment purposes only. Or not. </summary>
    <author>
        <name>Lou</name>
        <uri>www.beachwoodreporter.com</uri>
    </author>
            <category term="Political Odds" />
            <category term="Politics" />
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en" xml:base="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/">
        <![CDATA[<p>For entertainment purposes only. And office pools. Updated as events warrant.</p>

<p><strong>The chance that . . . </strong></p>

<p>A President Obama will get us out of Iraq any quicker than a President McCain: 12.5 percent. <em>He will change the mission, but facts on the ground are stubborn.</em></p>

<p>Obama will play the race card in the crunch: 100 percent. <em>The memo is already written.</em></p>

<p>McCain is more eager to debate than Obama: 100 percent. <em>The ironies never end, but Obama wants a closed, sealed-up tight environment the rest of the way. He's playing not to lose.</em></p>

<p>Obama wins the Dem nomination: 98 percent. <em>You never know.</em></p>

<p>Obama wins the presidency: 40 percent. <em>His cynical shift to the center sends mixed signals.</em></p>

<p>A President Obama gets re-elected after four years of doing next to nothing: 62.5 percent. <em>Taking the permanent campaign to yet another level.</em></p>]]>
        <![CDATA[<p><img alt="column_pol_odds.gif" src="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/images/column_pol_odds.gif" width="120" height="120" align="right" />Barack Obama picks Chuck Hagel as his running mate: 1 percent. <em>Remember, he's picking his presumptive heir.</em></p>

<p>Barack Obama picks a non-Democrat as his running mate: 1 percent. <em>Remember, he's picking his presumptive heir.</em></p>

<p>Barack Obama picks Joe Biden as his running mate: 5 percent. <em>Down five ticks. Biden wanted to partition Iraq.</em></p>

<p>Barack Obama picks Hillary Clinton as his running mate: 1 percent. <em>Down four ticks. It's just not going to happen.</em></p>

<p>Barack Obama picks Evan Bayh as his running mate: 40 percent. <em>Still the favorite among those whose names are most frequently mentioned.</em></p>

<p>Barack Obama picks Russ Feingold as his running mate: 10 percent. <em>A natural if Obama was about real change instead of just the appearance of change.</em></p>

<p>Barack Obama picks Sam Nunn, Jim Webb, Wesley Clark or that other general as his running mate: 0 percent. <em>No, no, no, no. Boring, nuts, weird and unqualified.</em></p>

<p>Barack Obama selects Bill Clinton as his running mate: 1 percent. <em>Just a thought exercise.</em></p>

<p>Barack Obama selects Bill Richardson as his running mate: 5 percent. <em>Down another five ticks. A nice idea on paper, but boy was he a clown on the campaign trail.</em></p>

<p>Barack Obama selects Caroline Kennedy as running mate: 0 percent. <em>But he probably considered it.</em></p>

<p>Barack Obama selects a different Kennedy as running mate: 15 percent. <em>Up a coupla points. Just think about it.</em></p>

<p>Barack Obama selects someone not currently on the media's short list: 50 percent. </em>Someone both safe and bold; an outside-the-box pick whose views are wholly conventional. Just like him.</em></p>

<p>Bill Daley runs for governor: 10 percent. <em>Downstate would never go for it, and frankly I'm not sure Upstate would either.</em></p>

<p>Rod Blagojevich runs for re-election: 90 percent. <em>After all, you can issue press releases from prison.</em></p>

<p>Pat Quinn runs for governor: 95 percent. <em>Up five percent. He'll have the power of incumbency.</em></p>

<p>Lisa Madigan is our next governor: 0 percent. <em>After all, Pat Quinn will have to serve out Blago's term first.</em></p>

<p>Paul Vallas runs for governor: 50 percent. <em>He wants to and he should, but can he raise the money?</em></p>

<p>Mark Kirk runs for governor: 5 percent. <em>He loves foreign affairs and Congress, but he won't survive forever in a swing district and he's the best thing the Illinois GOP has going for it. Draft him. If he wins he goes on the short list for future presidential tickets.</em></p>

<p>Barack Obama runs for governor if he loses the presidential campaign: 10 percent. <em>Down 15 ticks. Just too much of a come down. It would be different if this was California.</em></p>

<p>Barack Obama runs for president again if he loses this time around: 90 percent. <em>Unless he's totally swamped in the general.</em></p>

<p>Barack Obama supports Alexi Giannoulias for governor: 50 percent. <em>It's the, uh, new politics. Alexi's wealth has freed him from a broken system. Hell, he may be Obama's Treasury Secretary.</em></p>

<p>Rod Blagojevich is impeached: 35 percent. <em>Up 25 points due to a reconsideration of the very good chance that he'll get caught doing something monumentally stupid or he'll get indicted and refuse to resign.</em></p>

<p>Todd Stroger gets re-elected: 45 percent. <em>It shouldn't be nearly this high but the Machine is the Machine. Will Obama endorse?</em></p>

<p>President Obama walks hand in hand with Mayor Daley as they visit the Children's Museum in Grant Park and then open the 2016 Olympics: 35 percent. <em>Down 15 ticks on doubts of a second Obama term.</em></p>

<p>President Bush commutes George Ryan's sentence: 25 percent. <em>Only if a favor to Rove figures in somehow.</em></p>

<p>President Obama pardons Blago: 15 percent. <em>Based on presumed 2012 re-election efforts.</em></p>

<p>President Obama names Richard M. Daley to the U.S. Supreme Court: 10 percent. <em>Just a thought exercise. Secretary of the Interior is a better bet.</em></p>

<p>The legislative session goes all summer: 85 percent. <em>And all fall. And all winter. The permanent government replaces the permanent campaign.</em></p>

<p>Legislators will vote themselves a pay raise: 99 percent. <em>They will because they can. And then our aldermen will be back for more before you know it.</em></p>

<p>Patti Blago is indicted before Rod Blago: 50 percent. <em> The big question: Will she roll over on him?</em></p>

<p>Tony Rezko flips on Blago: 40 percent. <em>Wouldn't you?</em></p>

<p>The Children's Museum gets Grant Park: 90 percent. <em>Now it's up to the courts, and they're army isn't as big.</em></p>

<p>Dick Durbin becomes Senate Majority Leader: 20 percent. <em>Displacing Harry Reid wouldn't be easy, but it would be the only way to ensure any sort of success passing Obama legislation. Chances higher if Obama loses.</em></p>

<p>Rahm Emanuel becomes House Speaker: 15 percent. <em>Why not complete the triumvirate? Rich Daley would become the most powerful pol in America, with David Axelrod second.</em></p>

<p>Rod Blagojevich names himself to the Senate if Obama wins the presidency: <em>50 percent. Wholly dependent on how it could help his legal defense.</em></p>

<p>Rod Blagojevich is under indictment by November: <em>50 percent. Just a matter of how soon it takes to complete the paperwork, though there is the Chris Kelly trial too.</em></p>

<p>Hillary Clinton replaces Obama in the Senate if he becomes president: 0 percent. <em>Dual senatorship as a consolation prize! (D-NY, ILL).</em></p>

<p>Jan Schakowsky replaces Obama: 15 percent. <em>She and her husband, the convicted check-kiter who has bashed Hillary to pieces on Huffington Post, are a bit too naked. A person of color, please.</em></p>

<p>Dawn Clark Netsch replaces Obama: 15 percent. <em>Just a thought; she should have been governor.</em></p>

<p>Glenn Poshard replaces Obama: 15 percent. <em>Just a thought; he should have been governor.</em></p>

<p>Paul Vallas replaces Obama: 15 percent. <em>Just a thought; he should have been governor.</em></p>

<p>Jesse Jackson Jr. replaces Obama: 10 percent. <em>Would be too vulnerable in a statewide re-election campaign. In an Obama cabinet?</em></p>

<p>Dan Hynes replaces Obama: 15 percent. <em>Not exactly an inspired pick. Obama's U.S. comptroller?</em></p>

<p>Patrick Fitzgerald replaces Obama: .1 percent. <em>Blago's plan to remove him finally works!</em></p>

<p>Someone else replaces Obama: 50 percent. <em>If Obama is really behind the pick, think imaginatively. (Gery Chico?) If Blago makes the pick, think idiotic. If Quinn makes the pick, think Quinn!</em></p>

<p>Todd Stroger runs for re-election: 75 percent. <em>Up 15 points. Fundraising has started. Will Obama endorse?</em></p>

<p>The International Olympic Committee is virtually running our city right now: 90 percent. <em>I wonder how they feel about an underground children's museum.</em></p>

<p>Chicago lands the 2016 Olympics: 18 percent. <em>The CTA Superstation is dead. Is the plan off the tracks?</em></p>

<p>Fourth Ward Ald. Sandi Jackson runs for mayor next: 18 percent. <em>Up three ticks. Becoming mroe vocal. Starting to think about it?</em></p>

<p>Second Ward Ald. Bob Fioretti runs for mayor next: 20 percent. <em>Down five ticks. Not quite yet. But he wants it.</em></p>

<p>Forty-Second Ward Ald. Brendan Reilly runs for mayor next: 5 percent. <em>Not because of poor performance - to the contrary, he's turned into a superstar. But because he's smart enough to wait until the right moment. Like when Daley is gone.</em></p>

<p>Paul Vallas runs for mayor: 5 percent. <em>Won't challenge Daley, but if and when Daley is gone, the odds shoot up if he isn't already governor.</em></p>

<p>Barack Obama runs for mayor if he doesn't win the presidency: 1 percent. <em>Now this would be fun. Let him unify a major American city before taking on the country. But he won't because he's a pussy.</em></p>

<p>Ron Huberman is on his way out: 75 percent. <em>Up 25 ticks. Daley just waiting for the right moment. Maybe he should have been police chief.</em></p>

<p>Todd Stroger hires more relatives: 50 percent. <em>Would be higher but are there any left not on the payroll?</em></p>

<p>Todd Stroger gets dumber: 90 percent. <em>Hey, I'm just tracking the trends.</em></p>

<p>Emil Jones gets Obama in trouble: 35 percent. <em>If only someone would take a hard look. Paging Sean Hannity!</em></p>

<p>Rod Blagojevich flips on himself: 60 percent. <em>He's just crazy enough to do it!</em></p>

<p>Daley gets indicted: 40 percent. <em>At the very least, Patrick Fitzgerald will one day say that - like the vice president - a cloud hangs over this mayor.</em></p>

<p>Daley gives a press conference without appearing angry and defensive: 1 percent. <em>It's almost as if he's hiding something.</em></p>

<p>Daley is indicted before Blagojevich: 5 percent. <em>The mayor did a far better job covering his tracks. You've got to have buffers.</em></p>

<p>Daley has never known about, approved, condoned, benefited and been pleased with the criminal nature of his administration: 0 percent. <em>He had no idea what all these indicted people were doing on his behalf all these years?</em></p>

<p>Your bus or train will be on-time today: 3 percent. <em>Sometimes shit happens.</em></p>

<p>The <em>Tribune</em> endorses John McCain: 100 percent. <em>They want to win this war even if it takes a hundred years. But they'll do something imaginative on Obama's behalf, like a lesser, alternate endorsement. Maybe they'll even suggest a McCain-Obama unity ticket.</em></p>

<p>The <em>Sun-Times</em> endorses Obama: 100 percent. <em>They already have, haven't they?</em></p>

<p>Mary Mitchell takes a job with the Obama campaign: 100 percent. <em>Hasn't she already?</em></p>

<p>Eric Zorn takes a job with the Obama campaign: 50 percent. <em>May prefer to continue undercover work.</em></p>

<p>The <em>Tribune</em> admits it was wrong about the war: 0 percent. <em>They'll keep dispensing their superior wisdom as if it never happened.</em></p>

<p><strong>Propositions</strong><br />
Over/Under on the number of times Fran Spielman will use the phrase "Daley's Olympic dream" through the end of the year: 64. <em>It's also about the children.</em></p>

<p>Over/Under on how many more times the Blagojevich administration responds to allegations by saying "We don't operate that way" before the gov is indicted: 12.</p>

<p>Over/Under on how often Obama calls an issue he doesn't want to talk about a "distraction": 455.</p>

<p>Over/Under on how many issues Daley accuses his opponents of being racists on before the next election: 2.</p>

<p>Over/Under on how many more PR people Todd Stroger hires before the next election: 2.</p>

<p>Over/Under on how many more times Todd Stroger will try to explain that it's the media's fault: 3 times a week until he's out of office.</p>

<p>Over/Under on number of new state Republican party chairmen before the 2010 governor's race: 2.</p>

<p>Over/Under on Hired Truck convictions: 51. <em> Number moves south, too much under action. So far, 49 have been charged; 46 have been convicted; and one fell off a horse and died before trial.</em></p>

<p>Over/Under on the number of trains that catch fire during Ron Huberman's tenure: 5. <em>Derailments the new trend.</em><br />
</p>]]>
    </content>
</entry>
<entry>
    <title>The Dusty &amp; Ozzie Show 2008!</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/sports/the_dusty_ozzie_show_1.php" />
    <link rel="service.edit" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/cgi-bin/mt/mt-atom.cgi/weblog/blog_id=1/entry_id=2105" title="The Dusty &amp; Ozzie Show 2008!" />
    <id>tag:www.beachwoodreporter.com,2008://1.2105</id>
    
    <published>2008-07-22T06:41:35Z</published>
    <updated>2008-07-22T10:13:43Z</updated>
    
    <summary>One is a bullshit artist, the other just spews bullshit.</summary>
    <author>
        <name>Lou</name>
        <uri>www.beachwoodreporter.com</uri>
    </author>
            <category term="Dusty &amp; Ozzie" />
            <category term="Sports" />
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en" xml:base="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/">
        <![CDATA[<p>Now that Dusty is back in a dugout in Cincinnati - and still spouting weird theories that are <a href="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/sports/dusty_baker_is_back.php" target="_blank">driving Reds fans nuts</a> - we thought it would be fun to bring The Dusty & Ozzie Show back from <a href="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/sports/the_dusty_ozzie_show.php" target="_blank">its popular run</a> in 2006. After all, Ozzie hasn't changed either.</p>

<p>*</p>

<p><strong>Ozzie the Professional, July 20:</strong> "It's a funny thing about it. I like people when they are good. I don't like people when they are [bad] and they are cocky. When you are good and cocky, that's  fine with me. But when you aren't that good and you try to pretend like you are that good," <a href="http://msn.foxsports.com/mlb/story/8360034/Guillen's-remarks-set-stage-for-ChiSox-Rangers-series" target="_blank">he said to an MLB.com reporter</a>. "He showed a couple of my players up, and I don't like that. He showed my dugout up in that inning and that's why I screamed at him. The only reason I was screaming is because he was not professional."</p>

<p><strong>Dusty's Law, July 17:</strong> "The law of averages is on our side . . .  big-time," <a href="http://www.springfieldnewssun.com/s/content/oh/story/sports/pro/reds/2008/07/17/ddn071808spredsnotes.html" target="_blank">Baker said</a> of facing Johan Santana and the Mets, who had won nine straight going into Thursday.</p>

<p>Memo to Dusty: The law of talent is indifferent to the law of averages. (The Mets won 10-8).</p>

<p><strong>Dusty's Schoolhouse, July 6:</strong> "[H]is lineup construction and in-game decisions make him <a href="http://www.columbusdispatch.com/live/content/sports/stories/2008/07/06/reds_feature06.ART_ART_07-06-08_C7_LIALR1L.html?sid=101" target="_blank">an easy target for critics</a> . . . Baker craves speed at the top of the lineup, even if it means using Patterson and his .293 career on-base percentage. He also asked three of his best power hitters - Edwin Encarnacion, Dunn and Votto - to bunt late in games because 'that's how I was taught to play.' Never mind that all three are capable of moving runners over and driving them in with one swing. Encarnacion and Dunn did just that: Each failed to execute a sacrifice bunt, then hit a game-ending home run."</p>]]>
        <![CDATA[<p><img alt="column_dusty_ozzie.gif" src="http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/images/column_dusty_ozzie.gif" width="120" height="120" align="right" /></p>

<p><strong>Jealousy, June 21:</strong> "The unfortunate thing for me is it's a shame that a certain segment of Chicago refused to enjoy a baseball championship being brought to their city. The only thing I can say is, 'Happy anniversary,'" said White Sox GM Kenny Williams, putting the ball on the tee (and as if Chicago didn't properly appreciate the 2005 World Series. What more do you want us to do, award you free blowjobs for life?)</p>

<p>And then Ozzie swung. </p>

<p>"Happy anniversary . . . it's the truth. People need to think about the way we feel. They celebrate not winning for all that time, and they don't appreciate us winning. Kenny was right. I don't understand why people are making a big deal of it. Everyone is allowed to state an opinion, and Kenny has the right to say what he wants to about it. One thing about it, especially around here, people don't like to hear the truth.''</p>

<p>The truth as Ozzie sees it?</p>

<p>"People think that we dwell on it all day, but we don't,'' Guillen said before dwelling on it. ''We're just stating facts. We know we will never be respected like the Cubs - we won't. All we ask is just be fair with our organization. You love the Cubs more here, fine, but be fair. You don't have to like us, you don't have to love us, our players expect that. It's not a jealousy or us feeling like we're the second part of the city, because we know that already."</p>

<p>Um, respect is the last word I would use to describe the way people have felt about the Cubs - especially their fans.</p>

<p>''But like in the paper every day, 'This day, 1908, this happened for the Cubs,' and you see it over and over and over. I think the Cubs have been to the playoffs more than us and they haven't done anything. I'm not criticizing the players, the organization or the fans, but be fair."</p>

<p>Yes, the media should ignore the 100th anniversary of the Cubs not winning a World Series. They should recap the Black Sox season instead.</p>

<p>''We're the second-class citizens? No shit. Nobody has to tell us that. But in the meanwhile, our owner, our general manager, our organization does a lot of great things here and no one gives us enough credit. Just show us respect.''</p>

<p>Maybe show us some maturity first.</p>

<p><strong>Curses, June 12:</strong> "I don't believe in that. I've heard enough of that shit in Chicago," <a href="http://news.enquirer.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080611/SPT04/806110327/1071/SPT" target="_blank">Baker said</a>. "Sometimes it's outfielders, sometimes it's pitchers if that was the case, I was cursed before I got here because Gonzo was hurt was before I got here."</p>

<p>On the occasion of injuries to former Cub Jerry Hairston Jr. and Alex Gonzalez - not <em>that</em> Alex Gonzalez, the other one, but still.</p>

<p><strong>Position Play, June 12:</strong> Baker was asked if he'd consider moving Brandon Phillips to shortstop.</p>

<p>"No," Baker said. "I know everybody says that, and he could probably do it, but how many guys do you want out of position? You want one or you want two or three?"</p>

<p>From the man who played Todd Walker at first.</p>

<p><strong>Deja Vomit Vu, June 12:</strong> With Hairston on the DL, Baker went with Jay Bruce in the leadoff position "through process of elimination."</p>

<p>"I just talked to him about my experience with batting leadoff, and just hit the same," Baker said. "I know he's not your prototypical leadoff hitter, but neither is Hanley Ramirez, Bobby Bonds, Alfonso Soriano . . .  Chris Young."</p>

<p>Just hit the same, Jay Bruce. A two-fer!</p>

<p> Don't say we didn't warn you, Reds fans.</p>

<p><strong>Deja Vomit, June 12:</strong> "Boy, Jerry was doing a hell of a job," Baker said. "I'm going to have to get Corey (Patterson) in there sometime because he's starting to swing the bat good again."</p>

<p>Oy.<strong>Dusty Belicheck, June 10:</strong> "This ain't the NFL," <a href="http://news.enquirer.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080610/SPT04/806100401/1071/SPT" target="_blank">Baker said</a>, shrouding injuries in mystery just like he did in Chicago.</p>

<p><strong>Dusty the Road Warrior, June 8:</strong> "I always thought, as a player, that it was easier to play on the road," Baker said. </p>

<p></p>

<p>'People think that we dwell on it all day, but we don't,'' Guillen said before dwelling on it. ''We're just stating facts. We know we will never be respected like the Cubs - we won't. All we ask is just be fair with our organization. You love the Cubs more here, fine, but be fair. You don't have to like us, you don't have to love us, our players expect that. It's not a jealousy or us feeling like we're the second part of the city, because we know that already."</p>

<p>Um, respect is the last word I would use to describe the way people have felt about the Cubs - especially their fans.</p>

<p>''But like in the paper every day, 'This day, 1908, this happened for the Cubs,' and you see it over and over and over. I think the Cubs have been to the playoffs more than us and they haven't done anything. I'm not criticizing the players, the organization or the fans, but be fair."</p>

<p>Yes, the media should ignore the 100th anniversary of the Cubs not winning a World Series. They should recap the Black Sox season instead.</p>

<p>''We're the second-class citizens? No shit. Nobody has to tell us that. But in the meanwhile, our owner, our general manager, our organization does a lot of great things here and no one gives us enough credit. Just show us respect.''</p>

<p>Maybe show us some maturity first.</p>

<p><strong>Curses, June 12:</strong> "I don't believe in that. I've heard enough of that shit in Chicago," <a href="http://news.enquirer.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080611/SPT04/806110327/1071/SPT" target="_blank">Baker said</a>. "Sometimes it's outfielders, sometimes it's pitchers if that was the case, I was cursed before I got here because Gonzo was hurt was before I got here."</p>

<p>On the occasion of injuries to former Cub Jerry Hairston Jr. and Alex Gonzalez - not <em>that</em> Alex Gonzalez, the other one, but still.</p>

<p><strong>Position Play, June 12:</strong> Baker was asked if he'd consider moving Brandon Phillips to shortstop.</p>

<p>"No," Baker said. "I know everybody says that, and he could probably do it, but how many guys do you want out of position? You want one or you want two or three?"</p>

<p>From the man who played Todd Walker at first.</p>

<p><strong>Deja Vomit Vu, June 12:</strong> With Hairston on the DL, Baker went with Jay Bruce in the leadoff position "through process of elimination."</p>

<p>"I just talked to him about my experience with batting leadoff, and just hit the same," Baker said. "I know he's not your prototypical leadoff hitter, but neither is Hanley Ramirez, Bobby Bonds, Alfonso Soriano . . .  Chris Young."</p>

<p>Just hit the same, Jay Bruce. A two-fer!</p>

<p> Don't say we didn't warn you, Reds fans.</p>

<p><strong>Deja Vomit, June 12:</strong> "Boy, Jerry was doing a hell of a job," Baker said. "I'm going to have to get Corey (Patterson) in there sometime because he's starting to swing the bat good again."</p>

<p>Oy.</p>

<p>He's the only one. No wonder the Cubs' home record sucked when he was here. </p>

<p>"All you've got to do is worry about eating and going to the ballpark, basically. You can turn your phone off if you want. You don't have to worry about kids waking you up . . . Your life is simplified."</p>

<p>All you have to do is wait at the airport, breathe crappy airplane air, change time zones, stay in unfamiliar hotels, cope with visiting locker rooms where nothing is where you are used to, and play in unfamiliar ballparks before hostile crowds. It's a snap.</p>

<p><strong>Same Old Strategy, June 8:</strong> "our team was built for our strategy - as a power-hitting team," <a href="http://cincinnati.reds.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20080608&content_id=2873793&vkey=news_cin&fext=.jsp&c_id=cin" target="_blank">Baker said</a>. "We're a team that really depends on home runs. Sometimes, balls don't go out on the road as well as they go out at our park."</p>

<p><strong>Generally Managing, June 8:</strong>"If Baker can keep his office door locked, he plans to give Ken Griffey Jr. today off.</p>

<p>"'I'm going to try, but he'll fight me,' <a href="http://www.springfieldnewssun.com/s/content/oh/story/sports/pro/reds/2008/06/08/ddn060808spredsnotes.html" target="_blank">said Baker</a>. 'He's still sore and it's a day game after a night game. It'll be the last chance before our next day off because we go home to play St. Louis and Boston and I want him in there.'"</p>

<p>Dusty will try, but he's only the manager. The players make the decision. Hey, Sammy Sosa would look good in a Reds uniform!</p>

<p><strong>Dusty's Demos, June 6:</strong> "Watch all the kids and how they gravitate toward me," <a href="http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/columns/story?columnist=crasnick_jerry&id=3428763" target="_blank">Baker said</a>. "The people I get along best with, honestly, are elderly people and young people. The people that don't like me most of the time are people my own age, because I don't think like them."</p>

<p>Baker, by the way, blames a San Francisco radio guy for fixing him unfairly with the "veteran's guy" tag, but I think we saw enough around here to know that it's true.</p>

<p>"If you think Baker was oblivious to the surplus of young talent when he signed a three-year deal in October, guess again.</p>

<p>"'Heck yeah, that was one of the things that sold me,' Baker said. 'It was one of the things that sold me [with the Cubs]. Before I go someplace, I ask somebody to research for me what they got coming.'</p>

<p>"For those who suggest he's anti-youth, Baker points out that he has run a baseball school in California the past 25 years and has a 9-year-old son, Darren, scampering around the house. Though Baker's teams in San Francisco generally were veteran-oriented, he'd find a place for a Royce Clayton here and a Marvin Benard or Darren Lewis there if they were ready to contribute. He did the same in Chicago for Matt Murton and Ronny Cedeno."</p>

<p>Brrrriiiiinggggggg! It's reality calling: It wants Jerry Crasnick to come home immediately.</p>

<p><strong>Lineup Lunacy, June 5:</strong> Forced by injuries to bring Corey Patterson back up to the big leagues, Dusty promptly wrote his name into the two-hole in the lineup. "Corey gives me the speed I need," <a href="http://news.enquirer.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080605/SPT04/806050398/1071/SPT" target="_blank">Baker said</a>.</p>

<p>Indeed. Patterson walked very quickly back to the dugout after going 0-4 with a strikeout.</p>

<p><strong>Ozzie's Other Empty Threat, June 3:</strong> For the billionth time.</p>

<p>"Sometimes I create my own problems. That's me. I'm going to say what I have to say. Some people say the same stuff I say, but they don't get attacked like I do.</p>

<p>"I love this job, don't get me wrong. But sometimes it's like, wow, is it worth it to put up with this stuff?"</p>

<p><strong>Ozzie's Empty Threat, June 1 & 3:</strong> Oooh, we're scared.</p>

<p>On Sunday: "I expect Kenny to do something Tuesday. Because if we don't do anything Tuesday, there's [going to be] a lot of change in the lineup.</p>

<p>On Tuesday: "I put the lineup the way it should be. I didn't make any changes because I still believe."</p>

<p><strong>Killer Corey, May 28:</strong> Corey Patterson was demoted to the minors.</p>

<p>"It was a mutual decision," <a href="http://www.daytondailynews.com/s/content/oh/story/sports/pro/reds/2008/05/29/ddn052908spredsnotes.html" target="_blank">Baker told the <em>Dayton Daily News</em></a>. "I was going to call Corey in to talk to me, and he came in before I could call him in. He said, 'Hey, I have to get my act together and change some things.' He knows and we know he's better than the way he's playing. He's got skill. He's got talent. He's only 28 years old. It's a good move to go down, stay awhile and get his stuff together.</p>

<p>"He's still one of the best runners in the game. He's got an outstanding throwing arm. He's an outstanding outfielder. Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you can make a change. I'm not just going on whether I like or dislike somebody. No, I like the skill. I know skill when I see skill. I know talent when I see talent. If he was 35, it might be different."</p>

<p>The move meant that Reds fans finally got to see the player they had been clamoring for, Jay Bruce, regarded as the top prospect in baseball. In his first three games, Bruce went 4-for-9 with two doubles, three runs, four walks, and two stolen bases.</p>

<p><strong>Dusty Deja Vu, May 21:</strong> "Once again, the Reds seem to be road vagabonds, not even close to being kings of the road. Lose, lose, lose. If Baker could fix it, he would. What's a manager to do?</p>

<p>"'We've covered this,' he said. 'No. 1, get the lead and then keep it. This has gone on before I came here. It is hard to change things overnight. It's an attitude, a mindset, and I haven't put my finger on it yet," he added. "I'm still really assessing things. I'm trying to decipher a lot of things."</p>

<p>Bonus Dusty Deja Vu: "Yes it's a concern," Reds manager Dusty Baker said of his team's 7-17 road mark. "But we play for the home run. Every other ball park is bigger than ours and we're going to have to change the form of this club in order to have a chance to win."</p>

<p><strong>Dusty Don't Care, May 21:</strong> "Managers were on a conference call Wednesday concerning orders for umpires to enforce rules to speed up games, and Baker said, 'Hey, man, I ain't got no opinion on this because they don't ask me, and it doesn't matter what I say. Not one bit. You have to talk to somebody who can make a difference.'"</p>

<p>Um, I think the point of the conference call was to solicit input from managers.</p>

<p><strong>Dusty's Still Dusty, May 11:</strong> "Based on his offensive numbers this season, putting struggling Reds center fielder Corey Patterson in the leadoff spot seems to be the equivalent of putting the square peg in the round hole," MLB.com reports.</p>

<p>"Yet for the 21st time in his 22 starts this season, Patterson was perched at the top of the order on Monday vs. the Marlins. Coming in, he was batting just .196 with a .252 on-base percentage over 34 games. That included a 2-for-18 skid . . . </p>

<p>"What makes it kind of rough is I'm trying to stay away from too many left-handers in a row," Baker said. "He's going to get going. Usually guys end up where their average always is. Jacoby is working with him. We don't have a bunch of speed. We need speed, especially in close games."</p>

<p><strong>Ozzie vs. the World, May 10:</strong> "And if we win it all again, oh man, I will be so cocky this time they won't be able to stand my ass. I will rub it in people's faces."</p>

<p>Ozzie Guillen: Always classy.</p>

<p><strong>Ozzie vs. Lou, May 8:</strong> "W