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« May 2008 | Main | July 2008 »
June 30, 2008
The [Monday] Papers
I was in Los Angeles over the weekend so I'm still catching up on the news I missed back here in Chicago. But I assume every pol is still corrupt, every company is still trying to rip you off, every employer is still abusing you, and mean people without hearts or souls are still trying to crush the beauties and treasures of this city for financial gain and ego gratification. Glad to be back!
Beachwood Baseball
You know what they call the Angels-Dodgers interleague games? The Freeway Series.
You know what they call the Giants-Dodgers series? Nothing. They play all the time.
You know what they call the White Sox sweeping the Cubs at The Cell? Revenge.
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"One thing is certain as we bid adieu to the latest interleague interlude," our very own Jim Coffman writes in SportsMonday. "Neither the Cubs nor the White Sox will run away and hide with their divisions in the next month or two."
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Find out why Jim Edmonds is like Ralph Malph and Scott Eyre is like Potsie in The Cub Factor.
Train in Vain
"The best that can be said about the level of safety on the Chicago Transit Authority rail system is that riders are not putting their lives in jeopardy," the Tribune reports.
Actually, that's a lot - a lot more than I expected. I kind of think the CTA is putting lives in jeopardy. But if true, maybe that should be a screaming front-page headline: "Report: Riding The CTA Not Life-Threatening!"
Blog Crawl
* Endless Supply of Weird Old Chicago Stuff on eBay.
* A CTA driver's view of bus bunching.
* What does an epidemiologist know about reducing violence in Chicago?
* "[Sam Zell is] falling back on his roots as a scavenger, dismembering the Tribune Company in what amounts to a vicious circle," Lynn Becker writes. "He's selling of the best assets to pay off debt, thereby dramatically reducing the cash flow available to service the remaining debt, which will be reduced by another wave of sell-offs of less valuable assets, with another reduction in cash flow, and so on and so on, down to zero.
"It's fascinating to watch - like witnessing the dissection of a pig - but odds are in the end the results will the same . You get a great show, you learn a lot, but all you're left with is a dead pig."
* "Is there anything the Park District has been doing well?" Mick Dumke asks of Erma Tranter.
North By Northwest
"I challenged people's sensitivities and the way they think," Mike North told Rob Feder last week.
I thought that was Don Imus's job.
Independence Rock
On July 4th, Sound Opinions hosts Greg Kot and Jim DeRogatis will spin their favorite songs about America.
I Love L.A.
I mean, really, how great is this?
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The Beachwood Tip Line: Another perfect day.
Posted by Lou at 10:15 AM | Permalink
Amish Craze Going Mainstream?
Commodity Prices Changing Life As We Know It
Start with ethanol. Developed to make our cars more fuel-efficient, our foreign oil dependence more remote, and our farmers more money, this theoretical savior as of just two years ago is now being blamed for putting a greater pinch on the consumer wallet by thinning corn reserves.
In a time when even a technological advancement like E85 can go from beneficial to questionable to ironic, it seems like every move we make is a no-win situation. The solution, says Steve Shenk, director of eFoods Direct, is to take matters into our own hands.
An expert in the food business for 27 years, Shenk offers your listeners a unique perspective on how to look ahead by looking back, with a return to the self-reliance practices of generations past.
"While some might make cynical jokes about a horse-and-buggy society in response to our negative economic trend," says Shenk, "there is some merit in examining that lifestyle, just from the standpoint that we can all benefit by relying less on the government and doing more to prepare ourselves for tougher times ahead."
The economy has shown a bump in consumer spending following the wave of tax rebate stimulus checks, but on the heels of that, there isn't much to look forward to. The price increases in energy, food and other staple cost-of-living items will not wane, and a rebound in the frail housing and job markets is a long climb.
According to Shenk, consumers need to buy with a big-picture mentality and an economist's view. He's available for interviews to explain this and offer your audience other insights that can really make a difference.
About Steve Shenk and eFoods Direct
For the last 27 years, Steve Shenk has been the director of the J. Michael Stevens Group, the premier nationwide supplier of bulk, high nutrition, low moisture foods, directly to the consumer. He is the foremost authority on agricultural projections, trends and conditions as they relate to food on the family dinner table.
Steve is an unbridled optimist on a mission to help people rediscover the spirit of rugged, self-reliance that made America strong. With his quick wit and charming, Minnesota, country-boy attitude, Steve will leave you and your listeners believing that there's real hope for the future. The sons and daughters of the pioneers still have what it takes to make America "The land of the free and the home of the brave".
The first step in becoming fearless of the worldwide famine is to have your own food. By getting a supply of bulk food and learning to use it a family can feed themselves tomorrow at today's prices.
Summary Points
* What families need to do is the same thing that speculators and commodity investors are doing and that is to buy tomorrow's, next month's and maybe even next year's food at today's prices.
* The families who are already in trouble with food costs need to buy a good quantity of bulk, low moisture food (which will cost less than half grocery store prices) and then learn to cook. Buying "cheap" and learning "fast and easy" "real home cooking" methods will save them 75% of their present grocery cost.
* To find top-quality, nutritionally well-balanced and organized bulk food supplies contact efoodsdirect.com or 800-409-5633.
THE FOLLOWING ARTICLE MAY BE HELPFUL WITH SHOW PREPARATION:
Food price spike: Is ethanol to blame? A devastated corn crop is likely to exacerbate costs at the grocer. Some people are pointing a finger at the ethanol production laws.
NEW YORK (CNNMoney.com) - It's hard to miss: Americans are paying more at the supermarket checkout these days.
Prices have increased 5% since last year, and it could get worse. The U.S. Department of Agriculture projects that food prices will bump up another 5.5% in 2008.
One of the reasons is that the price of corn - a staple ingredient in a variety of foods from cereals to cola and the main ingredient in animal feed - is selling above $7.50 a bushel, about 119% above the price from a year ago.
The nation's corn crop was hurt by an unusually rainy spring. More recently, the havoc-wreaking floods in the top Midwestern corn-growing states wiped out farms and threaten future harvests.
"It seems pretty clear that we'll have a substantially lower planted acreage than last year, and we'll probably have a lower yield too," said former U.S. Department of Agriculture chief economist Keith Collins, who was commissioned by Kraft Foods to study food prices. "We're looking at a good drop in production, and as a result, corn prices will spike."
Now the rising price of corn is fueling a movement to reduce the amount of corn ethanol that is added to American gasoline.
Ethanol's primary component is corn, so demand for the crop has soared since the ethanol standard was enacted in 2005 and increased with the Energy Independence and Security Act of 2007. The government passed the legislation in an effort to support the U.S. farm and ethanol industry, to promote cleaner-burning fuels and to reduce the nation's dependence on foreign oil.
But in late April, Texas Gov. Rick Perry petitioned the Environmental Protection Agency to grant a 50% waiver on the nation's 9 billion gallon corn-based Renewable Fuel Standard.
"While the RFS was a well intentioned policy, it has had the unintentional consequence of harming segments of our agriculture industry and contributing to higher food prices," Perry wrote in his petition.
The EPA has opened a period of public comment about the standard and will make a decision on the waiver by July 24.
The EPA requires that 7.76% of gasoline products be blended with ethanol in 2008. That amounts to about 9 billion gallons U.S. ethanol producers have to put out this year. Next year, they will have to produce 10.5 billion gallons.
Gov. Perry said the "artificial pressure" on the corn crop created by the mandate threatens "irreparable damage" to livestock operations across the country.
Ethanol puts pressure on food prices
Critics of the program argue that a corn shortage could be exacerbated by the government's demand for ethanol, thus raising food prices even further for consumers.
"A lot depends on how badly this weather has devastated the corn crop," said Thomas Elam, an agricultural economist at Indiana University who was commissioned by the Balanced Food and Fuel Coalition to release a study on the matter. "A smaller crop will be devastating to meat, dairy, and poultry producers if the Renewable Fuels Standard is maintained, and consumers will suffer as food and fuel costs rise."
About 5% of the world's corn supply goes to producing bio fuels - representing a whopping three years of growth in typical crop production, according to Elam.
"Corn will have to go to at least $8 a bushel to squeeze out enough food use to keep up with corn for ethanol," he said. "Food prices will be significantly impacted by corn if RFS goes to 10.5 billion gallons for 2009."
How significantly? Collins said food costs could rise 23% to 35% above the normal annual inflation rate of 2.5% over the next two to three years if the RFS mandates are not reduced. Elam said food price inflation rate could go as high as 7% without a mandate reduction.
The USDA also maintains ethanol has an impact on food prices, even if it is an indirect link.
"Higher ethanol production definitely and directly raises the price of corn," said USDA economist Ephraim Leibtag. "Higher corn prices have an impact on food prices on the retail level."
By contrast, if the government were to reduce the RFS by just half, both Elam and Collins agree that corn prices would fall $2 a bushel, which could save more than $9 billion in feed and food costs.
The case for the ethanol standard
Not everyone is convinced that ethanol poses such a definite threat to food prices.
"Collins' conclusions are at odds with the conclusions of a number of other ethanol studies," said Geoff Cooper, director of research at the Renewable Fuels Agency. "The global food index has increased 40% and ethanol is only responsible for 2% to 3% of that," he said, referring a study conducted by Bush administration economists.
It's also possible that the corn crop will rebound before the growing season ends in the fall. As a result, Cooper noted the impact that ethanol will take on food prices this year is still up in the air.
Another RFA spokesman suggested that Collins' study was biased, since it was sponsored by Kraft Foods, which would benefit by a reduction in the RFS.
Kraft said that it expects the company's commodity costs to increase 12% or $1.7 billion in 2008, but dismissed the RFA's claim.
"Dr. Collins is a widely-respected, credible and award-winning researcher and former chief economist of the U.S. Department of Agriculture," said Michael Mitchell, a spokesman for Kraft. "His credentials speak for themselves."
Ultimately, Cooper said he doubts that Gov. Perry's waiver request will succeed, because the EPA can only accept a waiver if the law creates significant economic hardship on a state.
Posted by Lou at 08:15 AM | Permalink
SportsMonday
One thing is certain as we bid adieu to the latest interleague interlude, one that was lopsided just about everywhere but here (the American League was much the superior combatant for the fourth year in a row): Neither the Cubs nor the White Sox will run away and hide with their divisions in the next month or two. We haven't seen much of it in Chicago, but in other places teams have been known to build decent leads early on, maintain them and then stretch them out as July turns into August. That won't happen around here because . . .
Despite departing the weekend with a three-game lead (in the loss column) over the Cardinals, the Cubs' schedule is just starting to toughen up (after an early season stretch that featured a disproportionate number of home games). The forecast is not great for re-starting any long win streaks any time soon. And while the Cardinals haven't been setting the world on fire of late (5-5 in their last 10), they also have officially avoided a June swoon. And here come the Brewers (seven games over .500 heading into this week).
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Still, Zambrano is due back this week, Soriano isn't far behind and everything still feels reasonably solid. I hated to see Carlos Marmol take the loss on Saturday (that was the game to win wasn't it? You just knew Mark Buehrle would put it all together on Sunday). But Marmol threw strikes. And so did Sean Marshall on Sunday.
The White Sox have a different problem, namely that they had a highly successful week and the Twinkies not only don't go anywhere, they make up a little ground. At some point Minnesota's ridiculous run will end (Sunday's win over the Brewers was their 11th in their last 12 games); in fact, it should at least slow way down this week. That's when Minnesota, which went 14-4 in interleague play this summer, goes back to playing real competition from the American League.
And the Tigers are coming! The Tigers are coming! They pulled themselves above .500 for the first time all season with a win Sunday.
On the other hand, neither team will be falling completely out of contention any time soon either. Quite simply, the pitching on both sides of town is just too good.
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Moving right along:
I caught a little of the track and field Olympic Trials over the weekend (I watched from 11 to midnight on the USA Network on Friday night) and would love to watch some more in the coming week. The ideal would be to alternate between track and field and the swimming equivalent, which has also just kicked into gear.
Based on world championship competition in 2007 as well as many, many glimpses of greatness so far this season, the U.S. has a great chance to dominate track and field (and not just in the sprints - the home team could bring home more medals in distance events than it has in many a decade). And it could do even better in swimming. In terms of all the high profile Olympic sports with multiple medals on the line, the biggest lock for an American medal harvest is girls gymnastics, where the two best competitors in the world call the U.S.A. home. But gymnastics involves judges and when I'm taking a break from baseball and umpires in particular (nice call throwing Piniella out of the game Sunday even if as he was going back to the dugout Blue!), I'm looking to minimize the impact of judges in my sporting entertainment.
And there is plenty more to be said for races. The drama of finding out who will get there the fastest never fades. Neither does the well-edited drama of who will jump the highest or the farthest or throw something heavy the farthest (although I could take or leave that hop, skip and jump thing - aka the triple jump).
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Soccer has just about turned the corner in America: Attendance is up. New soccer-specific stadiums have either recently been completed or will be in about a half-dozen major markets. The Euro 2008 tournament that concluded Sunday (way to go Spain!) was a big hit featuring all sorts of epic matches filled with exciting, attacking soccer. But soccer is coming on despite the local MLS franchise. What an incredibly boring bunch the Fire is this year, turning in its third straight scoreless performance Saturday and doing so at home against the previously struggling San Jose Earthquakes (fortunately the visitors didn't score either - and fortunately I didn't buy tickets for the always dreadful scoreless tie).
A total of well over 15,000 people showed up at Toyota Park in Bridgeview for the Fire's uninspired effort. That certainly beat the 3,200 on hand at the Chicago Sky's big WNBA win over the Detriot Shock at the Pavilion. But I think everyone would have had a lot more fun at the old ball game.
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Jim Coffman appears in this space every Monday with the best sports wrap-up in the city. You can write to him personally! Please include a real name if you would like your comments to be considered for publication.
Posted by Lou at 08:06 AM | Permalink
The Cub Factor
The Cubs were not only swept by the White Sox over the weekend, they lost their fourth straight for the first time this season and they've lost eight of 12. Feeling sentimental for happier days, we here at The Cub Factor got to thinking about how the Cubs are kind of like the cast of Happy Days.
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Cub: Jim Edmonds
HD character: Ralph Malph
Why: No one really likes him, but it turns out he's still got it.
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Cub: Derrek Lee
HD character: The Fonz
Why: He's certainly the coolest Cub, but also because what he does with the glove to save errant throws from Aramis Ramirez is as magical and reality-defying as Fonzie banging on a jukebox to select a song.
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Cub: Alfonso Soriano
HD character: Joanie
Why: His nickname may be Fonzie, but if there were a jukebox in the clubhouse Soriano would lose it in the sun. No, Alfonso is more like the little sister who looks up to older brother Derrek Lee but in the end is still just Erin Moran.
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Cub: Ryan Dempster
HD character: Richie Cunningham
Why: The good-natured guy who is quietly the key player whom everything actually revolves around. Plus, Richie would have done the same kind of Harry Caray impersonation had he grown up a few decades later in Chicago instead of 1950s Milwaukee.
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Cub Jason Marquis
HD character: Chuck
Why: Richie's older brother began the show as part of the starting cast, but mysteriously faded away after the producers squeezed as much out of him and sent him packing.
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Cub: Scott Eyre
HD character: Potsie
Why: He keeps getting hurt but apparently has a great voice in the shower.
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Cub: Jenny Piccolo
HD character: Felix Pie
Why: The hot, fast friend of Joanie has all the talent in the world, but we never see any of it on display because apparently it's all just hype and she's not ready for prime time. Previously played by Corey Patterson.
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Cub: Larry Rothschild
HD character: Big Al
Why: He leaves his mound visits shaking his head and muttering, "Yep, yep, yep, yep."
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Cubs: Matt Murton & Micah Hoffpauir
HD characters: Laverne & Shirley.
Why: They can't find much playing time on this team, but they'll be stars on another show.
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Cub: Lou Piniella
HD character: Mr. C
Why: In his downtime, Lou runs a hardware store.
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Cub: Reed Johnson
HD character: Chachi
Why: A cool guy who fans like but not an everyday player.
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Cub: Alan Trammel
HD character: Mrs. C
Why: As bench coach, he's the one who knows where the knives and forks are in the clubhouse and where the kids are at.
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Cub: Ryan Theriot
HD character: Pinky Tuscadero
Why: The new kid on the block who wows everyone and sells a lot of adoring merchandise.
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Cub: Mike Fontenot
HD character: Leather Tuscadero
Why: He's Ryan Theriot's younger sister. And he wants to be just like him. Or, um, her.
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Cub: Kosuke Fukudome
HD character: Mork
Why: He arrived from a foreign land, didn't speak English too well, and raised everyone's level of play. Plus, also, the merchandise thing.
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Cub: Tribune Company
HD character: Arnold
Why: Through luck and stupidity, they've created a happy place where people love to hang out but whose fans and legacy has totally jumped the shark.
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Week in Review: The Cubs two of three at home to the Orioles and then got swept by the White Sox at The Cell. Someone call AAA because the bandwagon is broken.
Week in Preview: The Cubs limp into July with four in San Francisco and three in St. Louis. Keep AAA on speed dial because that's a lot of miles for a broken bandwagon.
The Second Basemen Report: Most notably this week, Eric Patterson played in left field again just to prove to Cubs management that Alfonso Soriano isn't the only converted second baseman who can't judge fly balls. Just like Hendry drew it up.
In former second basemen news, Paul Noce is the baseball coach at Hillsdale College in Michigan. He is missed.
The Zam Bomb: Zam is no longer furious, just getting angry while he awaits activation off the DL. Towel drills actually calm big Z.
Lost in Translation: Sweepasaka is Japanese for revenge.
Sweet and Sour Lou: 69% sweet, 31% sour. Lou is down six points on the Sweet-O-Meter this week due to crappy pitching and losing. And just like your real crazy drunk uncle, Lou doesn't want you to say a word. Just shut the hell up and do what you are supposed to do.
Center Stage: Jim Edmonds started in center for all six games this week while Reed Johnson is still on the DL. Expect another center fielder to show up out of somewhere very soon. Like out of a hat or something, you know, just like Hendry drew it up.
The Cub Factor: Catch up with them all.
Beachwood Sabermetrics: A complex algorithm performed by the The Cub Factor staff using all historical data made available by Major League Baseball has determined that injuries are no excuse.
Over/Under: The amount of outfield in San Francisco that Jim Edmonds has to cover this week: +/- too much.
Mount Lou: Though Mount Lou exploded on Sunday night, the Mount Lou Alert System remains at Code Red because of indications that more magma is burbling just beneath the surface. If you are within three miles of Mount Lou, please take cover. And all airport security personnel and airlines staff between Chicago and San Francisco should take special precautions.
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Posted by Lou at 06:43 AM | Permalink
Obama & Me
The Beachwood is hitting the campaign trail this summer with Citizen Kate.
"Politics are pretty complicated. So I've elected myself to uncover the process, and make it easy for regular people, like me, to understand," Kate says. "I've already spoken with John Edwards, Chris Dodd, and Abraham Lincoln. Yeah. I thought he was dead too.
"I'll cover the Republicans, Democrats, and even Al Gore if he runs last minute. You'll also get to find out how a first time voter, like me, will vote. Everyone should vote. It's all about your voice being heard, and influencing the decisions made by great leaders.
"There are so many party choices: Democrat, Republican, Green, Libertarian, Labor, Light, Moderate, Natural, Prohibition, Reform, Socialist, Socialist Equality, Socialist Labor, Socialist Workers, U.S. Marijuana, Peace and Freedom, and more. This is gonna be tough!"
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From the Trail: Obama & Me
Stay tuned for more from the Beachwood and Citizen Kate TV as we take back our politics and media from the politicians and media!
Posted by Lou at 03:26 AM | Permalink
June 28, 2008
The Weekend Desk Report
You'd better read these reports while you can. It looks like there's a 50/50 chance we'll all be treading water by September.
Market Update
Mortgage lending groups this week announced they would no longer accept payment in 10W-40 as no one can afford it. They will still accept payment in corn, however. At least, this month they will.
End of an Era
It appears our much-loved Triumvirate of Terror may be history as key axis member Britney Spears shocks the world with a reconciliation few thought they would ever live to see.
Recycled Joke of the Week
Flush with pride at solving one major international crisis, President Bush announced he is now "totally ready" to fix the Middle East, "for reals" this time.
Community Policing
Chicago Police Superintendent Jody Weis this week announced plans to increase police presence on city streets in an attempt to eliminate criminal elements. Not wishing to be outdone, Chicago Transit Authority Chairman Ron Huberman this week announced plans to increase train presence to the Loop in an attempt to eliminate problem customers.
Clinbama Rising
Do you see how they've coordinated their pantsuits? And so it begins.
Finally...
And in other news, duh.
Posted by Natasha at 03:19 AM | Permalink
June 27, 2008
The [Friday] Papers
I'm flying out to L.A. very early this morning to teach at SPJ's Citizen Journalists Academy on Saturday, so there won't be a Papers column today, but stick around for the rest of the site, it's very good! New posts today in Sports and People, Places & Things in particular. The Weekend Desk Report will appear as always on Saturday and we'll have fresh material as always on Monday. I may even post some new material here and at Division Street from L.A.'s (relatively) new subway system, who knows.
The [Friday] Papers
As Phil Ponce put it, Barack Obama made a "rare" appearance before Chicago reporters on Wednesday, and he made a challenge to the locals that they failed.
"You will recall that for my entire political career here, basically, I was not the the endorsed candidate of any political organization here. That I didn't go around wielding a bunch of clout. That my reputation in Springfield was as an independent. And my reputation here was also as somebody who would to try to work with everybody. There is no doubt I had friends and continue to have friends who come out of the more traditional school of Chicago politics but that's not what launched my political career and that's not what I've ever depended on in order to get elected and I would challenge any Chicago reporter to dispute that basic fact."
Ooh, ooh! Me! Me!
"But you once told Emil Jones that he could make you a United States Senator. And you exchanged endorsements with Richard M. Daley - whom your wife once worked for - and your political career here was funded by Tony Rezko. You also endorsed the organization candidate over the reformer every single time and never spoke out against 'the more traditional school of Chicago politics', by which you mean 'corrupt,' or led an independent or reform movement. In fact, while traveling around America as the candidate of change, you recently told the Tribune editorial board that you would leave criticism of Chicago corruption up to others, like John Kass."
Not a single reporter said anything even close to that. In fact, in the video of this exchange I saw on Chicago Tonight, no reporter responded to Obama's challenge.
But the Sun-Times has an entire page today about what's on Obama's iPod, another half-page about good luck charms he and others carry in their pockets, and Obama's response to Ralph Nader's ridiculous proposition that Obama is "talking white" to appeal to voters.
Public Service Announcement
I suppose now I have to disclaim to my more sensitive readers that I am not supporting John McCain for president, just as I did not support Hillary Clinton in the primary. Nor did I support Obama. I support reporters doing their jobs, politicians telling the truth, and citizens thinking rationally without blinders.
Charming
"Obama showcased a pocketful of trinkets to reporters in New Mexico on Tuesday" - Tuesday! - "including a lucky poker chip, an American eagle pen, and a small gold statue of a Hindu monkey god, which he said represented his faith in luck and voters," the Sun-Times reports today.
Setting the Hindu monkey god aside, does Obama also employ an astrologist?
Barack's Blarney
"I think one thing about Chicago is that people try to get stuff done for their constituents."
Um, is this the start of a George Carlin joke?
"I do think that there is a non-ideological approach to Chicago."
Yes. There are no Republicans here and Cook County Democrats have no ideology.
"It's not unique to Chicago, I think it's Midwestern in some way."
Right. Chicago politics is very similar to, oh, let's say politics in Minnesota, Wisconsin, Iowa . . .
Policy Wonk
By the way, in case you didn't notice, Barack Obama supports the death penalty, which came up yesterday. And just to remind you, he's against gay marriage - on religious grounds. The right-wing notion that Obama is some sort of ultra-liberal or even radical is absurd, just as it was with folks like Michael Dukakis, Bill Clinton and Howard Dean. More importantly, liberals should understand that Obama is a centrist, and that includes his positions on the economy.
More Change
From today's Quick Takes:
"News Item (2007): Barack Obama says he will filibuster against an updating of the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act that includes legal immunity for phone companies that helped carry out domestic spying without court permission.
"News Item (2008): Barack Obama says he will vote for an updating of the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act that includes legal immunity for the phone companies.
"Or do you have something against the politics of change?"
Left Flank
The liberal netroots are livid about Obama's FISA vote, by the way, but you'd never know it was even an issue by reading the local press. If only it was on his iPod.
McObama
Along with campaign finance reform, meeting with dictators and his record in Illinois, Obama is ceding flip-flop territory to McFlipFlop himself.
Getting Things Done
"A longtime city contractor and boyhood friend of Mayor Richard Daley was the winning bidder for industrial property owned by the developers of Bridgeport Village, a luxury housing development that fell out of favor with City Hall and ended up in bankruptcy," the Tribune reports today.
Non-Ideological
"In July 2004, state pension board member Allison S. Davis voted to turn over as much as $100 million in state workers' retirement cash to an investment management firm. Months after it won the lucrative deal at Davis' urging, that investment firm hired Davis," the Sun-Times reports today.
"Davis is a 67-year-old lawyer and real estate developer with long ties to Mayor Daley and Sen. Barack Obama, as well as to the governor.
"He served on the Chicago Plan Commission and, with his former law firm, Davis Miner Barnhill & Galland, was a boss to Obama early in the presidential hopeful's career."
For Constituents
"City Hall's inspector general is investigating whether Richard Daley's budget director fully reimbursed the city for the cost of a shower installed in the director's office in February," the Tribune reports today.
Beliefs You Can Change
"The Obama campaign, getting ready for an expected Supreme Court ruling on the constitutionality of Washington, D.C.'s gun control legislation, reverses a statement it put out last year that the ban was constitutional," Politico reports today.
Fair Warning
From an impassioned Obama supporter.
The Beachwood Tip Line: Your local change agency.
Posted by Lou at 03:45 AM | Permalink
The Five Dumbest Ideas of The Week
1. Actually, I don't much mind the idea of a bistro specializing in canine cuisine. Picture Lady and the Tramp sharing a strand of spaghetti to the strains of "Bella Notte," the dogs' owners pressing their wet little noses against the window, the waiter proffering a gnarled suede bedroom slipper as an amuse bouche. Nope, what bugs me is naming the joint Doggie Style.
2. How do you find Barack Obama in a crowded room? Hint: He's the one standing in front of the blue pseudo-presidential seal. Or at least he was for all of one day when said seal was deep-sixed due to embarrassing reviews. Now Illinois' favorite front-runner will have to look presidential without any aid from the prop department. Fortunately, that's not very hard, considering how much Bush has done to lower the bar.
3. My phallic skyscraper is better than yours! It was just a matter of time until Chicago's screw-shaped Spire was one-upped by an architect with an even bigger Edifice Complex than Santiago Calatrava. Italian architect David Fisher recently unveiled plans for a tower that's in perpetual motion. The good news is that it affords a 360-degree view. The bad news is it will cost you up to $100,000 per degree.
4. Who has the patience for Eight Minute Abs or even those silly belts that zap your obliques into submission? No need when you can paint a trompe l'oeil version of a six-pack on your tummy, courtesy of Abs in a Box for Men. Quicker than you can say "speedo," you have a chiseled midsection that will fool anyone standing . . . at least 20 feet away.
5. If you build it, they will come. Or so thought the group of Ukrainian undertakers responsible for "Eternity," presumably the world's largest coffin-shaped theme restaurant. The inside is a funereal black, accented by columns of coffins, ghastly floral arrangements and votive candles at every table. Finally, a place to go to unload those annoying eHarmony dates.
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Honorable Mention:
- Bonnie McGrath suggests the UK might want to rethink approval of a diet drug already linked to suicide and depression.
- Julia Gray is more than a little put off by the notion of a mobile whorehouse.
Posted by Lou at 01:43 AM | Permalink
The Return of the Crosstown Classic Crucible!
Participating this go-around: Cub Factor correspondent Marty Gangler, White Sox Report correspondent Ricky O'Donnell, and Twins fan Steve Rhodes.
1. What are the chances of a White Sox sweep?
GANGLER: Like I said last week, there is a 3 percent chance of anything happening.
O'DONNELL: Well, either it's going to happen or it's not going to happen so . . . 50/50. Duh.
RHODES: The same chance Mayor Daley changes his mind about the Children's Museum.
2. What are the chances of a Cubs sweep?
GANGLER: See No. 1.
O'DONNELL: See No. 1.
RHODES: See No. 1.
3. Who will Ozzie offend next?
GANGLER: You know how the Sox have that take your dog to the ballpark day? I think Ozzie is going to somehow offend the dogs.
O'DONNELL: All of rap nation.
RHODES: Himself. And then he'll refuse to apologize.
4. Which player outside of A.J. is most likely to be the villain?
GANGLER: That Cuban Missile guy.
O'DONNELL: Dude, at The Cell, A.J. is a hero. The villain clearly has to be a Cubs player, so let's go with Edmonds. No one likes that guy anyway.
RHODES: Dude, at The Cell A.J. is a hero because he's a villain. But yes, Edmonds.
5. Who is more unlistenable, Ron Santo or Hawk Harrelson?
GANGLER: Put it on the board . . . NOOOooooo!!! Let's put Steve Stone and Pat Hughes together and make them do both sides of town's games. Everyone will get smarter that way.
O'DONNELL: I'll take the guy with legs.
RHODES: Harrelson actually watches the game, but Santo never says "duck snort." So it's a push.
6. Odds of a Red Line derailment.
GANGLER: 97 percent. It's just the opposite of the 3 percent chance of it NOT derailing.
O'DONNELL: Slightly greater than the chance of a Blue Line derailment.
RHODES: O'Donnell is stealing my material.
-
Previously:
* The Crosstown Classic Crucible
Posted by Lou at 12:13 AM | Permalink
June 26, 2008
The [Thursday] Papers
As Phil Ponce put it, Barack Obama made a "rare" appearance before Chicago reporters on Wednesday, and he made a challenge to the locals that they failed.
"You will recall that for my entire political career here, basically, I was not the the endorsed candidate of any political organization here. That I didn't go around wielding a bunch of clout. That my reputation in Springfield was as an independent. And my reputation here was also as somebody who would to try to work with everybody. There is no doubt I had friends and continue to have friends who come out of the more traditional school of Chicago politics but that's not what launched my political career and that's not what I've ever depended on in order to get elected and I would challenge any Chicago reporter to dispute that basic fact."
Ooh, ooh! Me! Me!
"But you once told Emil Jones that he could make you a United States Senator. And you exchanged endorsements with Richard M. Daley - whom your wife once worked for - and your political career here was funded by Tony Rezko. You also endorsed the organization candidate over the reformer every single time and never spoke out against 'the more traditional school of Chicago politics', by which you mean 'corrupt,' or led an independent or reform movement. In fact, while traveling around America as the candidate of change, you recently told the Tribune editorial board that you would leave criticism of Chicago corruption up to others, like John Kass."
Not a single reporter said anything even close to that. In fact, in the video of this exchange I saw on Chicago Tonight, no reporter responded to Obama's challenge.
But the Sun-Times has an entire page today about what's on Obama's iPod, another half-page about good luck charms he and others carry in their pockets, and Obama's response to Ralph Nader's ridiculous proposition that Obama is "talking white" to appeal to voters.
Public Service Announcement
I suppose now I have to disclaim to my more sensitive readers that I am not supporting John McCain for president, just as I did not support Hillary Clinton in the primary. Nor did I support Obama. I support reporters doing their jobs, politicians telling the truth, and citizens thinking rationally without blinders.
Charming
"Obama showcased a pocketful of trinkets to reporters in New Mexico on Tuesday" - Tuesday! - "including a lucky poker chip, an American eagle pen, and a small gold statue of a Hindu monkey god, which he said represented his faith in luck and voters," the Sun-Times reports today.
Setting the Hindu monkey god aside, does Obama also employ an astrologist?
Barack's Blarney
"I think one thing about Chicago is that people try to get stuff done for their constituents."
Um, is this the start of a George Carlin joke?
"I do think that there is a non-ideological approach to Chicago."
Yes. There are no Republicans here and Cook County Democrats have no ideology.
"It's not unique to Chicago, I think it's Midwestern in some way."
Right. Chicago politics is very similar to, oh, let's say politics in Minnesota, Wisconsin, Iowa . . .
Policy Wonk
By the way, in case you didn't notice, Barack Obama supports the death penalty, which came up yesterday. And just to remind you, he's against gay marriage - on religious grounds. The right-wing notion that Obama is some sort of ultra-liberal or even radical is absurd, just as it was with folks like Michael Dukakis, Bill Clinton and Howard Dean. More importantly, liberals should understand that Obama is a centrist, and that includes his positions on the economy.
More Change
From today's Quick Takes:
"News Item (2007): Barack Obama says he will filibuster against an updating of the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act that includes legal immunity for phone companies that helped carry out domestic spying without court permission.
"News Item (2008): Barack Obama says he will vote for an updating of the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act that includes legal immunity for the phone companies.
"Or do you have something against the politics of change?"
Left Flank
The liberal netroots are livid about Obama's FISA vote, by the way, but you'd never know it was even an issue by reading the local press. If only it was on his iPod.
McObama
Along with campaign finance reform, meeting with dictators and his record in Illinois, Obama is ceding flip-flop territory to McFlipFlop himself.
Getting Things Done
"A longtime city contractor and boyhood friend of Mayor Richard Daley was the winning bidder for industrial property owned by the developers of Bridgeport Village, a luxury housing development that fell out of favor with City Hall and ended up in bankruptcy," the Tribune reports today.
Non-Ideological
"In July 2004, state pension board member Allison S. Davis voted to turn over as much as $100 million in state workers' retirement cash to an investment management firm. Months after it won the lucrative deal at Davis' urging, that investment firm hired Davis," the Sun-Times reports today.
"Davis is a 67-year-old lawyer and real estate developer with long ties to Mayor Daley and Sen. Barack Obama, as well as to the governor.
"He served on the Chicago Plan Commission and, with his former law firm, Davis Miner Barnhill & Galland, was a boss to Obama early in the presidential hopeful's career."
For Constituents
"City Hall's inspector general is investigating whether Richard Daley's budget director fully reimbursed the city for the cost of a shower installed in the director's office in February," the Tribune reports today.
Beliefs You Can Change
"The Obama campaign, getting ready for an expected Supreme Court ruling on the constitutionality of Washington, D.C.'s gun control legislation, reverses a statement it put out last year that the ban was constitutional," Politico reports today.
Fair Warning
From an impassioned Obama supporter.
The Beachwood Tip Line: Your local change agency.
Posted by Lou at 08:14 AM | Permalink
ESPN Drops The Euro Ball
The first semi-final of the Euro 2008 tournament, pitting Germany against Turkey, had all the earmarks of cracker of a game. Shame ESPN dropped the ball (I know it is soccer!), because I would of loved to have seen it. The game was overshadowed by the technical difficulties that plagued ESPN's telecast. Bad thunderstorms were to blame apparently, but when you have exclusive rights to one of the biggest professional sporting events in the world the handling by ESPN was, well, amateurish.
I had settled in at my favourite pub like thousands of other Americans to watch the game on Wednesday. Things started out well with a injury- and suspension-ravaged Turkey throwing caution to the wind and going at Germany tooth-and-nail from the kickoff. The Turks' tenacity finally paid off in the 22nd minute when a weak shot by Kazim Kazim hit the crossbar and the rebound was poached by Uger Boral with a shot that deflected off German keeper Jens Lehman's legs and in.
It didn't take the Germans too long to reply. In the 26th minute Bastian Schweinsteiger brilliantly deflected a cross from Lucas Podolski past a helpless Turkish keeper to even the game. The rest of the first half was punctuated with a fairly relentless Turkish attack and a number of questionable calls and non-calls from the Swiss ref, Massimo Busacca. The best efforts came from Hamit Altintop and Kazim Kazim, who had a shot hit the post.
After several visits to the men's room and a fresh beverage, my comrades and I at Small Bar settled in for what promised to be an exciting second half. Six minutes in saw the closest thing to a penalty when Turkish defender Sarioglu checked Philipp Lahm a meter or so into the box. Lahm went down with a knee to the inner thigh (ouch!). Mr. Busacca was having none of it. Play evened up in the second half with Germany finally getting their attack together. That's when things started to go wrong for ESPN.
Around the 75th minute we lost the picture. The startled studio crew had to ad lib as they sweated out the affair. The best they could do was give a shot of one of the fan zones (viewing areas with huge screens for those unfortunate enough to not have a ticket). It was through watching the reaction of the German fans that we learned that the Germans had scored (a header by Miroslav Klose that would do Aussie Rules proud with it's athletic leap . . . apparently). Then we got the picture back. Feeling a little cheated we were determined to enjoy the last 15 minutes or so. Turkey has had quite a knack for the comeback in this tournament - just ask the Czechs and the Croats! Lightning struck again at that point. Back to the studio and shots of the fan zones. You'll never guess what happened then will you?
Turkey scores (a tighter version of the Schweinsteiger goal started with a beautiful move at the right corner by Sabri, who then squared the ball to Semih Senturk who deflected it in . . . apparently). Was this really happening? Could this get any worse? Well . . . yeah! This time we regained the picture in time to see the Turks celebrating what was looking like one of their trademark comebacks. Everyone was now hoping just to watch the last five minutes or so with no more interruptions. Wrong! We lost the picture with about two minutes to go. Once again we learn from fan reaction that Germany has scored (Philipp Lahm finishing off a great give and go at the top of the box . . . apparently). And that was that.
After commiserating with my fellow patrons we came up with some advice for ESPN: If this were to happen again they could play the radio broadcast (they still have them I think) instead of forcing the studio analysts to grasp at straws. One ingenious suggestion was to turn the camera from the faces of the fans onto the screen which they were watching! But the most sage advice would be to rent out some backup satellite space. After all, it is just one of the biggest professional sporting events in the world, although you'd have never have known it on Wednesday . . . apparently!
-
Andrew Kingsford is from Australia. That's why he talks funny.
-
COMMENTS:
1. From Dave:
It wasn't just ESPN. The official international feed out of Basel was lost. Cuatro, ZDF, ATV, TF1, HRT - all went dark. ZDF in Germany resorted to pirating the signal from idee suisse out of Switzerland, the only channel with an independent feed from the stadium. They even plastered their logo over SFsport after a while.
Posted by Lou at 04:02 AM | Permalink
Taking Birth Control With A Soy Latte?
Planned Parenthood plans on going Upscale
Like any business, Planned Parenthood is trying to respond to the market. People in more affluent communities struggle with unwanted pregnancies as much as anyone. But according to critics of the non-profit's new chain of more upscale, urban health centers across the country, the organization's "market response" is just that - marketing - and not in line with its benevolent mission statement.
Chris Slattery, president and founder of EMC Front Line Pregnancy Centers, is one of those critics, and he's available to offer his side of the debate in an interview.
"As part of a reasonable and healthy discussion, even when you oppose something, you hear the argument," says Slattery. "But this completely rails against Planned Parenthood's traditional position that their services are in place to meet the specific needs of lower income women who cannot afford to raise a child."
On the other side, Planned Parenthood officials say that offering birth control and other sexual health care services to those who can afford them enables the organization to make enough money to offset losses in low-income communities. This, in turn, makes it possible for Planned Parenthood to subsidize its other operations, including those that serve the poor.
For Slattery, the new facilities are simply too over the top to persuade him from his anti-Planned Parenthood stance. "It's just too ridiculous to buy their argument when you look at the investments in these sites. Average square footage seven times that of their low-income-community counterparts? Amenities that include muted lighting, hardwood floors and consultant-selected color palettes? Are you kidding me?"
ABOUT CHRIS SLATTERY
Chris Slattery, founded Expectant Mother Care, also known as EMC FrontLine Pregnancy Centers, in 1985 in Manhattan. EMC has grown to 15 office locations in 6 counties, including Westchester, Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens, the Bronx, and Hudson County NJ.
Chris was honored with the "Champion for Life" award, a pro-life tribute, from John Cardinal O'Connor, and had the privilege of being the Confirmation sponsor of the famous Dr. Bernard Nathanson, the producer of the acclaimed videos, The Silent Scream and Eclipse of Reason.
Chris's opened NYC's first full time crisis pregnancy center locations, and quickly implemented on site clinic care with ultrasound and full pre-natal care programs 20 years ago, to supplement the main work of crisis pregnancy counseling. EMC's counselors have served over 70,000 girls and women since they opened, and have saved over 12,000 from a certain abortion in that time. Thousands have turned to abstinent lifestyles, as well. They provide one-on-one friendly counseling and in many locations on site medical care, in addition to referrals for adoption, housing, and legal aid, and provide material supplies for mothers and babies.
Chris has been sued by two NY State Attorney Generals, Robert Abrahms, and Elliott Spitzer, and by numerous abortion mills.
He also recently won a quick settlement of suit filed against a major NY abortion mill chain for their deceptive advertising in the Yellow Pages.
Chris has been a pro-life leader for over 25 years . . . organizing Operation Rescue in NYC, prayer vigils, protests at Planned Parenthood conferences - their Board meetings& their abortion sites, Marches, Life Chains, Truth Tours, training sessions, conferences, press conferences, lawsuits against his opponents.
Chris has granted hundreds of TV, radio, and print media interviews with local, national and international media in the past 20 years.
More info at: www.nationalproliferadio.net.
THE FOLLOWING ARTICLE MAY HELP WITH SHOW PREP:
THE WALL STREET JOURNAL
June 23, 2008, 8:59 am
Planned Parenthood Goes Upscale
Posted by Sarah Rubenstein
Planned Parenthood is setting its sights on the affluent.
As part of a "rebranding" of the nonprofit to appeal to those with more financial means, Planned Parenthood affiliates are building a broader network of suburban clinics and posh health centers, according to a front-page article in today's WSJ.
Two elegant new health centers have been built, and at least five more are on the way, the largest of which will be 75,000 square feet. They include muted lighting, hardwood floors, airy waiting rooms in colors selected by marketing experts - plus, walls designed to withstand a car's impact should an antiabortion protest turn violent. Planned Parenthood has also opened more than two-dozen quick-service "express centers," many in suburban shopping malls.
Despite some critiques to the contrary, Planned Parenthood insists it's not compromising is long-held focus on serving the poor with birth control, sexual-health care and abortions. Officials there say they take a loss of nearly $1 on each packet of birth-control pills distributed to poor women under a federal program that funds reproductive care. But they make a profit of nearly $22 on each month of pills sold to an adult who can afford to pay full price. That money helps subsidize other operations, including care for the poor as well as pursuing Planned Parenthood's political agenda.
"It is high time we follow the population," said Sarah Stoesz, who heads Planned Parenthood operations in three Midwest states. She recently opened three express centers in wealthy Minnesota suburbs, "in shopping centers and malls, places where women are already doing their grocery shopping, picking up their Starbucks, living their daily lives," she said.
Posted by Lou at 12:31 AM | Permalink
June 25, 2008
The [Wednesday] Papers
Following up on yesterday's column about Lewis Lazare, young people and the state of the newspaper industry:
* "Lewis Lazare, who reviews ads, passes on vicious industry gossip, and wears a bowtie for a living, thinks the Web is making America stupid. He's afraid that this will cripple the industry's ability to sell shit to people," Whet Moser writes in an excellent examination at Chicagoland. "No, seriously."
* "I'm pretty sure that this Lazare also thought Elvis and the Beatles were the devil's music," my brother wrote to me in an e-mail. "I'm about to be 47 years old and we canceled our newspaper subscription. Why? Not because of the internet . . . because the paper sucked. So, I guess middle-aged men are also stupider than they used to be."
* "Boy oh boy, [Lewis] Lazare has a bad case of the Andy Rooneys today," Margaret Lyons wrote at Chicagoist.
* The editor of the Spokesman-Review in Spokane said my column "prompted a discussion this morning . . . should the [Spokesman-Review] do a hot fans contest?"
Time Warp
Tribune columnist Dawn Turner Trice took to the airwaves last night on Chicago Tonight to address the future of newspapers. See, she said, unless you've been living under a rock, newspapers are changing! They have to! But how?!
Um, it's 2008. Just catching up?
The very idea that the facts of a new media world - and the underappreciated facts of the newspaper industry's gross negligence and essential journalistic malpractice of the last three decades - are still dawning on our nation's newsrooms is just incredible. The time to ask how and why is long past.
You can't take a singles-hitting team and ask them to hit home runs. You have to change the personnel. Fire 'em all and start from scratch. I see no signs of intelligent life on these distant planets.
*
Trice, like so many Old World journalists, describes a newspaper that doesn't exist when she posits what we will supposedly lose to Internet dominance. As if the Tribune and Sun-Times every day are filled with journalism essential to democracy and civic goodness. Oh, were it so!
Mostly, though, a newspaper these days is filled with (stale) sports news, crappy formulaic features, columnists re-typing press releases, the world's worst comic strips, horoscopes, painfully awful advice columns, reporting of official statements filled with lies, the enabling of manipulative political strategists, and the occasional burst of insight or journalism that is actually meaningful. Just keep the last part! That will cut your newsprint costs! A four-pager every day!
*
Can you imagine the civil rights movement without newspapers? Trice asked. If the Internet was around, certainly! Can you imagine! YouTube video of Bull Connor and Internet fundraising for SNCC and MLK blogging directly to the people. Progress would have come much sooner.
Life Look
Later, Chicago Tonight discovered Second Life, which launched in 2003 and "came to international attention via mainstream news media in late 2006 and early 2007."
And to Chicago a year after that.
Duncan Donuts
Arne Duncan tries to explain why giving cars to 12-year-olds with good attendance records is a swell idea.
Thanks, Richie!
Duncan notes that 85 percent of Chicago Public Schools students are live under the poverty line. 85 percent. It's a good thing Daley didn't let Chicago turn into another Detroit.
The Flintstone Times
"News organizations are very dinosaur-like in the way they are trying to reach [the younger] audience. I think we tend to be dumbing down the news," Southtown Star columnist Kristen McQueary told students at Illinois State University earlier this year, "thinking that will bring in new readers instead of putting good quality news out there that appeals to your generation."
Master Your Domain
How Seinfeld can help Obama.
Barry Angel
"If America's liberal newspaper editorial boards were high school girls, they'd be listening to sad songs on the car radio just about now, driving mournfully in the rain, because Sen. Barack Obama has found somebody new," John Kass writes this morning.
"Can't you hear them sing this oldie?
"Barry Angel/How I love him/How I tingle when he passes by/Every time he says hello, my heart begins to fly. Barry Angel/How I want him/He's got something that I can't resist/But he doesn't even know that I exist."
The public financing thing is getting a lot more (critical) play around the nation - and the blogosphere - than back here at home. Natch.
Race, Gender, Class
* I hear Don Imus is in the running for Mike North's old job.
* Now, two chicks kissing is a different story.
* That's easy for Nancy Pelosi to say, she's the Speaker of the House. Way to stand up for everyone else.
If Only
I miss it too. But it's long-gone. And newspaper people helped kill it. They did it to themselves.
The Beachwood Tip Line: Stop the presses.
Posted by Lou at 10:48 AM | Permalink
Another Detroit
As Ben Joravsky noted recently at Clout City, one of the most familiar refrains from Mayor Daley's enablers is that Chicago would have become Detroit if it hadn't been for him. The good folks here at Beachwood Labs went to their computer banks to see if this was true and, indeed, this is the way life would be here if Daley had never become mayor.
*
1. We'd be in the Eastern time zone.
2. Eminem would have grown up here and married Ashlee Simpson.
3. Welcome to Hockeytown!
4. Canada would be where Gary is.
5. Berry Gordy Jr. would have produced "Kanye West and The Miracles."
6. We'd have a shitty public transportation system.
7. Housing would be far cheaper.
8. Cars, not bikes, would be allowed to use bus lanes.
9. Soldier Field would have been a domed stadium in Du Page County.
10. We'd have much cooler sister cities.
11. City Hall would be the tall building in the middle, flanked by the Cook County Building and the Children's Museum.
12. This would have been about us.
13. Doctor Chicago!
14. Dennis Rodman would have played here.
15. We'd have a mayor named Kwame.
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Bethany Lankin, Tim Willette, Eric Emery, Steve Rhodes
Posted by Lou at 08:13 AM | Permalink
I Shot the Band: Funhouse
Band: Funhouse
Song: "Old Time Rock 'n' Roll"
Date Added: June 24, 2008
Shooter: Chicagolandband
Locale: Bradley Fireman's Fish Fry, Bradley, Ill.
Video quality: Good
Sound quality: Good
Creativity: Strong. Serious panning action for crowd reax, zooming in on band members when they're soloing.
Difficulty: None. Free concert at at Kankakee County fish fry.
Overall Beachwood Shaky-Cam Rating: 8 (out of 10)
Comments: "You've been a great crowd, give yourselves a hand!"
Nothing says cheesy classic rock cover band more than that one line. And Frankfort's Funhouse has the fromage, from what we can tell from this five-minute clip of the thirty-something dudes wrapping up a big night at the Bradley Fireman's Fish Fry. We can tell from the video time stamp that this happened on June 14.
Shooter Chicagolandband must have some connection to the band, either by blood or by marriage, because he or she puts some tender loving care into this session, with some very impressive use of the zoom function to zero in on individual band members as lead singer Dean Schuldt introduces them and lets the guys take off on their solos, all the while churning out that all-time fave, Bob Seger's "Old Time Rock 'n' Roll." If there was ever a better song for a classic rock cover band to close a set with, I'd like to know what it is. It just seems right after a long night of "I Want You To Want Me" and "Vehicle."
The video, in addition to the artistic band shots, also includes some fine crowd visuals . . . these people were attracted by that satisfying combination of fish and beer. You've got the jumpin' l'il kids (way past bedtime), the drunken, fist-waving guy who really feels the old-time rock 'n' roll, the biker-looking guy off on the side who's too savvy to actually move much, and the middle-of-the-frame band-starer. Some variation of this last person appears in every band video at some point. Hmmmm, not many ladies here. They must not like the old time rock 'n' roll so much.
Oh, and about the Bradley Fireman's Fish Fry, this is from its official press release (please note the parts about how disgusting fish really are and how waiting in long beer lines is actually F-U-N, fun):
"On the short list of things that are distinctively Kankakee County, the Bradley Firemen's Fish Fry ranks up there. If you've lived here longer than a week, you probably know the basics - the best-tasting fish is battered and deep fried, and it usually comes with coleslaw and French fries.
"But the people at the Village of Bradley Fire Department want you to know more about this curious phenomenon. The standard explanation for the unique Kankakee County tradition is that it evolved because the state's big Catholic population was banned from eating meat on Fridays during Lent. But there is much more to it than that, including the fishing culture of the Potawatomi Indians who lived around the Kankakee River.
"The only way for the Potawatomi to survive here was to eat fish, which they dried so they could make it through winter. There were populations who spent their lives making nets and cooking fish. Then all these immigrants descended on the area - Scandinavians, Belgians, French, Germans, Poles, whose cultures also relied heavily on fish. There's a love-hate relation with fish. There's something disgusting about fish, the way they smell, the huge quantities of them, the dead fish on shore.
"Cooking massive amounts of fish for big groups of people has been going on as long as there have been fishing cultures, usually in private gatherings and as fund-raisers. But it wasn't until around the time of Prohibition that eating fried fish in taverns and restaurants became part of Kankakee County's social fabric. The first evidence of commercial fish fries was an advertisement in the 1920s. Taverns had to find ways to bring people into their businesses because they could no longer sell alcohol, so they started offering fried fish on Friday nights. It was cheap enough for the whole family.
"And when Prohibition was lifted, people were so accustomed to their Friday night fish fry outings that they kept on going. But from then on, there was beer and brandy old-fashioned to wash down the fish. Even though Friday night fish fries are relaxed and casual, they have their own special etiquette.
"So remember at the Bradley Firemen's Fish Fry: you might have to wait in line at the beer tent, or for some of the best fish in Kankakee County, but that is the best part of the fun. (And you single folks . . . you never know who you could meet in line.) You will have a chance to meet people and find out the latest community gossip!"
Gossip on this, Kankakee County! Here's Funhouse making those dead fish really sizzle!
-
Previously in I Shot the Band:
* Company of Thieves: At Welles Park covering OutKast.
Posted by Don at 01:43 AM | Permalink
June 24, 2008
The [Tuesday] Papers
I read Lewis Lazare's column today on a book called The Dumbest Generation with interest because for the last couple of years Lazare has called me up periodically to complain about how dumb young people are these days, and he usually blames the Internet.
Why he calls me, I don't know. I've never met the man.
I also don't believe today's generation is dumber than those who came before because they don't read newspapers. I think newspapers are dumber.
And I'm not sure where a Sun-Times columnist gets off complaining that the Internet is dumbing down America while the paper is running a "Which Team's Fans Are Hotter?" contest.
The last time I spoke with Lazare, which was a few months ago, he was complaining about Facebook. Now, I'm a Facebook fan. It's very powerful, and I've hardly begun to exploit all of its capabilities. My favorite part of it are my friends' highly amusing Status Updates and the Pieces of Flair they send me. I feel smarter after spending time on Facebook; I feel dumber after reading the local newspapers.
Of course, they don't serve the same purpose, though an increasing number of newspapers see Facebook as a fruitful distribution system for their work - including the Tribune and Sun-Times. Maybe that's what was getting Lazare down, but it became quickly apparent to me that he had no idea what he was talking about.
"Um, have you ever seen Facebook?" I finally asked him.
"No."
"So you don't know what you're talking about!"
I'm not trying to pick on Lazare - well, actually I am - but he's emblematic of a newspaper creature that is just beyond me. See, he didn't want to know what he was talking about. He just didn't want to know.
As I've written before, I'm a dyed-in-the-wool newspaper lover. I've read newspapers since I was old enough to crawl to the door and get one. I'm one of those people who has said things all my life like "There's printer's ink in my veins."
But newspapers went off the rails at just the moment the Internet flourished as an even better place to do journalism and communicate with people. It should have been a glorious melding of the minds for a better, more creative and fun and civically inspired tomorrow, but all newspaper people could see was the threat, not the opportunity.
That may be changing out of necessity, but there are still an awful lot of Lazares out there, and they will not be the ones who will save news organizations; they instead are millstones dragging everyone else down. And how smart of a generation is that?
In today's column, Lazare approvingly recites what is apparently the author's complaint that a majority of young people polled use the Internet as an "instrument of peer contact."
I guess that's a smart person's way of saying they use the Internet to talk to their friends. The horror! (And we should only use the telephone in case of emergency! And stop doing that crossword puzzle - the newspaper isn't a toy!)
The evidence behind this complaint is a poll of University of Illinois-Chicago students that found that Facebook and MySpace were their favorite Internet destinations.
"Only 5 percent of those polled regularly checked out a blog or forum on politics, economics, law or policy," Lazare writes.
I have a feeling that's 4 percent more than the number of newspaper folk who check out "blogs or forums on politics, economics, law or policy."
I'd sure like to see how that question was worded. (And really, must one read a law blog to qualify as smart?)
Lazare, whom I'm quite certain has never read any such "blog or forum," should be heartened. Isn't that the stuff that's dumbing us down? Isn't it good then that our youth aren't polluting their minds with that crap? And is that to say that previous generations spent their time poring over policy journals and economics texts?
I could never figure out Lazare's argument outside of the fact that young people these days aren't familiar with the Broadway shows he thinks constitutes cultural literacy.
But maybe the giveaway is the apparent point of his column today: "Can such a generation of young people under 30 - and no doubt generations that will follow - be expected to have the intellectual wherewithal to create advertising that is more than a collection of juvenile punch lines?"
Is that what this is really all about?
As an advertising columnist, he should know that A) advertising has never been smarter; B) the Internet has spawned a creative explosion of new kinds of advertising; and C) who cares! It's advertising!
So enough already with the Internet is Evil thing. It's boring, it's stale, and it's dumb.
Ad Man
Lazare panned Mad Men, one of the best shows of recent vintage, and told me once that he had never seen one of my favorite ad campaigns, that of the Comcast turtles named the Slowskys. So apparently ignoring the Internet doesn't make you any smarter.
Logo Lazare
One time Lazare called me up and berated me for not coming out forcefully against the city's 2016 Olympic bid. Those who actually read me - instead of just calling out of the blue every once in awhile - know that I've long been, um, skeptical of the Olympic bid. To put it politely. In fact, I don't think I could be more forceful in stating that, while it would be cool to have the Olympics here from a pure sports and entertainment standpoint, the politics behind it is corrupt to the core.
But then, here's Lazare's version of coming out forcefully against the Olympic bid:
"OK. We've made it over the first of many bigger Olympic hurdles to come," he wrote in April 2007. "So, please, let's get down to the serious business of developing an Olympic marketing plan that really rocks . . . now we really have to show the world why the world must come to Chicago for the 2016 Olympics."
Later, Lazare ended a series of columns complaining about the city's Olympic logo with this: "Sadly, our underwhelming new logo won't help our cause much in the good fight that is ahead."
Yes, the good fight. The one you told me was a waste of money.
Word Games
As the Tribune acknowledges today, you still can't print George Carlin's "Seven Words You Can Never Say On Television" in the newspaper.
Now, is that because young people might be reading? Because I thought we established that they weren't.
Flight Plan
"United To Slash 950 Pilot Jobs."
Perhaps the airline will revisit the Beachwood's merger recommendations.
C.C. Rider
"One rival executive who has spoken to Cubs General Manager Jim Hendry recently came away convinced the Cubs will make a big play for a front-line starting pitcher in the coming weeks - perhaps an acknowledgment the Cubs believe they have all the other pieces in place to end the franchise's 100-year drought without a World Series title," the Washington Post reports.
And that pitcher is rumored to be C.C. Sabathia.
Car Wash
"I don't know what's crazier," Whet Moser writes, "that the CPS is bribing middle-schoolers with cars to attend class, or that it only took one-third of a school year of perfect attendance. Is Oprah behind this?"
The Beachwood Tip Line: Hub and spoke.
Posted by Lou at 09:39 AM | Permalink
We Can't Wait 100 Years
Now with new video! Scroll down . . .
We give so much, give our time and our money
We buy garages from Danley and just for you
We drink Old Style and we pay you $6.50
Though just between you and me that's not good brew
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And the price tag, to get hit with some concrete
That will crumble in our seat is $52
They say we're angry, but how angry can we be
When the Cubs security's like 92
And we can't wait 100 years
But we can't wait even one year more
It's been a whole damn century
It's time to even up the score
Missed the wedding, '69 and '84 and needed just five outs more 2003
Then a bridesmaid, '32 and '35 and '38 and '45, close as can be
This year we're betting, that we're gonna have a wedding
Cubbies gonna buy us all a Series ring
A celebration, gonna trample Cubbie Nation
Like that Filene's Basement bridal sale thing
'Cause we can't wait 100 years
But we can't wait even one year more
It's been a whole damn century
It's time to even up the score
Lou Piniella! Lou Piniella!
It's time to get your Cubbie fans some bling
Lou Piniella! Lou Piniella!
This is the year the Cubs will finally get the ring
No more called shots, no more balls through Leon's legs
No more disregard for Greg, no trading Lou
No more Garvey, no fans reaching in the park,
And please no more Will Clark or Stephen Drew
No more next year, that's the phrase that we all fear
That's why we drown ourselves in beer while dressed in blue
A celebration for the suffering Cubbie Nation
Nothing short of that, my friends, will ever do
Your fans have waited long enough for you
'Cause we can't wait 100 years
But we can't wait even one year more
It's been a whole damn century
It's time to even up the score
Lou Piniella! Lou Piniella!
It's time to give your Cubbie fans some bling
Lou Piniella! Lou Piniella!
This is the year the Cubs will finally get the ring
Fukudome! Fukudome!
Show these other Cubbies your discipline
Fukudome! Fukudome!
Show these other Cubs that you know how to win
"Cause we can't wait 100 years
But we can't wait even one year more
It's been a whole damn century
It's time to even up the score
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NEW VIDEO!
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More Beachwood Sports Audio:
* Let's Call The Crosstown Off
* The 12 Days of Cubness
* Louklahoma & Ozziecabana
* The Hester Man Can!
* Dusty Must Get Fired
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More Beachwood Sports Video:
* 99 Years Of Cubs Losses
* Cubs Fans: Please Stop Believin'
* Go Blame It On Steve Bartman
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See also:
* The Crosstown Classic Crucible
Posted by Lou at 07:22 AM | Permalink
Big in Japan: The Yokohama Cubs
Over the past few weeks, I have become more and more interested in Japanese baseball. Partly, my interest stems from an inability to watch the Cubs play live. The other part of me needs to have some baseball to pass the summer months.
And let's face it, at some point it's about sitting around drinking beer and watching the grass grow for three hours on a hot day. However, it is important that this is done in the appropriate environment.
Lucky for me, there is a bounty of baseball on the Japanese islands. In the Tokyo area there are three teams, the Yakult Swallows, the Yomiuri Giants, and the Yokohama Baystars. So I was faced with a choice . . .but which one to pick?
I knew that I wanted a team that was like the Cubs, but not so much like them that they were a poor man's version. They had to be like the Cubs I grew up with, the teams that I grew to love. I needed a few good players, one Ryne Sandberg for say every 25 Tyler Houstons. And they had to stink. How else could I grow to love them? After all, half the fun of watching the old Cubs was debating which inning they would begin their customary meltdown.
Logic - and everyone at the office - told me I should become a fan of the Yomiuri Giants. After all, the newspaper I work for, the Daily Yomiuri, is owned by the same company. Similar to the way that the Tribune Company owns the Cubs, the Chicago Tribune and Wrigley Field, Yomiuri Co. owns the Giants, the Yomiuri Shimbun (Japan's biggest newspaper), and the Tokyo Dome, the Giants' home stadium.
But something about the Giants just wasn't right. I was bothered by the fact that they played in an indoor stadium, and that they were the most popular and biggest market team in Japan. They just weren't at all like the Cubbies. The Giants are 'Tokyo's team' and Tokyo is in many ways the New York of Asia. Even though they are having a disappointing season this year, the Giants still felt too corporate, too much like the Yankees. As any Cub fan knows, the last thing you want to be associated with is a New York sports franchise (even if the association is based on tenuous deductive reasoning).
So, unbeknownst to my boss, and to the chagrin of my coworkers, I decided that the Yomiuri Giants were not the team for me this summer.
The next option was another Tokyo ballclub, the Yakult Swallows. Early indicators suggested that they should be my pick. The swallows play in a small outdoor stadium called Meji-jingu (MAY-GEE-JINGU). It's located in western Tokyo nestled in a woodsy area that contains one of Japan's most visited shrines, also called Meji-Jingu. The shrine also owns the stadium. The park has a hometown feel, and is surrounded by trees and foliage, with a beautiful view of the skyline. It really provides the summertime baseball experience. There was just one problem: it felt too small. It was too much like a minor league stadium or a college field. I said I wanted a team that was like the Cubs, not the Iowa Cubs. So the Swallows were out too.
I only had one option left, the Yokohama Baystars. Yokohama, a city about 45 minutes by train from Tokyo, is the capital of the Kanagawa Prefecture in the Kanto region. There is a bit of a rivalry between Tokyoites and Yokohamans.
I hopped on a train and got myself to a game. This was it. Although strikingly different in so many ways, going to a Baystars game reminded me of the Cubs of my youth. The team plays in an outdoor stadium near the waterfront, and I was drenched by the humidity during the game. The fans are passionate and loyal, the beer flows like, well, beer, the bleachers are packed and, of course, they own a pitiful record (15-39-1 at the time). Who could be more like the Cubs of old without actually employing Jim Riggleman?
That balmy Sunday the matchup was the Yokohama Baystars versus the Nippon Ham Fighters. I know what you are thinking, and no, they do not actually fight ham. They are sponsored by the Nippon Ham company.
Japanese baseball has many similarities to the American game. It is really the game itself that is the most similar. Pitching changes, player confereneces and all the other nuances remain intact in Japan. Except strikes are first, then balls (i.e. 2 and 3 is a full count).
When it comes to the stands, things begin to change.
For example, the bleachers are the cheering section. At Yokohama stadium, they are full to the brim for the entire game, while the rest of the stadium has only scattered attendance. Not only are the bleachers packed, but they contain cheering sections, complete with plastic noisemakiers, bass drums, trumpets, trombones and decked-out cheer "leaders" (who I've been told are often yakuza) directing team songs, chants and the like.
They also have a dance team, the kind of thing you would expect at an NBA game.
Interestingly, the fans only get to their feet when their team is batting. The opposing team's fan section was seated in the left field bleachers, and they stood up when the Ham Fighters were at bat. It was like some sort of strange respect between fans.
I had arrived late, and to my dismay, the Baystars were down 9-2. It was the fourth inning and the home fans were drinking, cheering and having a grand old time. Over what, I could not tell. Their team made errors, swung at bad pitches and generally got outplayed for the next three innings. The one glimmer of hope, a home run by the Baystars' star Nishi, whipped the bleacher crowd into a frenzy. People were embracing each other, and high-fiving everyone in sight, including me.
One guy pulled me aside and said, "Yeah man, that was super awesome home run!"
What could I do? I slapped hands with the man, and ordered another 500 yen (about $4.60) beer.
That's another thing, the beer vendors are all young uniformed girls who wave and smile at you. You (read: me) are defenseless.
By the time I left, I had concluded that for the rest of the summer, I would carry a torch for the Baystars.
They had lost 9-3.
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Previously in Big in Japan:
* Not Fukudome
Posted by Lou at 06:42 AM | Permalink
TV Notes: ESPN, GEICO, Meet The Press
Recent observations from more TV viewing than should be allowed even in a democracy.
1. ESPN's Pardon the Interruption has a segment at the end of every show where a young staffer corrects all the factual errors the host have made during the previous 30 minutes. I've always thought newscasts should do this too. Jay Black at TV Squad would extend the idea even further.
2. ESPN and its showcase SportsCenter have attracted some grumpy critics in recent years, but it's still one of the smartest networks and shows on TV; if only my evening newscast could be as well-produced as SportsCenter.
3. I don't think anyone has had as strong a run of commercials than GEICO and Comcast. See also: Caveman's Crib and The Slowskys.
4. A lot of heel work.
5. Mom, those minutes are from September!
6. One of the great things about Me TV is that they show vintage commercials. While watching Star Trek last night I saw this beauty for Atari Home Computers, starring Alan Alda.
7. I haven't seen Denise Richards' It's Complicated, but a trusted friend says it's actually not bad. Living Lohan, on the other hand, is a total tease because all you really want to know is anything related to the one family member who's not on it - Lindsay. And not even that . . . although there is a voyeuristic quality to watching Dina Lohan ruin another kid's life.
8. Intervention is back and its consistently the most powerful 60 minutes on television.
9. I suppose this is about right, but while Bob Brenly is greatly improved, Len Kasper seems increasingly hokey. Lose the punny stuff.
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A letter writer to the Trib suggested Pat Hughes and Bob Brenly as the dream team, but I think it's Brenly and Steve Stone; I don't care if neither of them is technically a play-by-play man. Who cares? Can you imagine? What a booth! Best. Baseball. Broadcasts. Ever.
*
Hawk Harrelson and Ron Santo are unlistenable.
*
10. Maybe Meet the Press oughta dump the star moderator format and go back to what I think was the original: a panel of, you know, members of the press grilling the pols. It works for American Idol.
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Comments welcome! Please include a real name if you wish to be considered for publication.
Posted by Lou at 04:44 AM | Permalink
June 23, 2008
The [Monday] Papers
From our very own White Sox Report:
"Over/Under: 100. The number of times something like this has happened in Jay Mariotti's career. From the Trib's live blog:
"'According to my spies in the press box: Sun-Times hero and fan favorite Jay Mariotti asked for a security presence to safeguard him from his colleagues.'"
From our very own Cub Factor:
"The Second Basemen Report: Joe Morgan called Mark DeRosa 'a fixture' at second base for the Cubs on Sunday night's broadcast. Well, the "fixture" only played second base once this week, with Mike Fontenot starting two games and Ronnie Cedeno starting three. So we learned again this week that Joe Morgan sucks because as a homeowner I know that you don't replace your fixtures that often in a week."
From our very own SportsMonday:
"Any semblance of a debate regarding the Bulls' No. 1 pick ended last week when it was revealed that Michael Beasley stands three, count 'em, three, inches shorter than his listed height at Kansas State last year . . . I think these Bulls may still be debating whether to draft Rose or Beasley. Of course, I also hear they're still not sure about Peyton Manning over fellow quarterback Ryan Leaf in the 1998 NFL draft."
From our very own Beachwood Sports Audio Desk:
In 2005 the champagne tasted great
The Cubs ain't won nothing since 1908
Champions, World Series, Losers, curse theories
Let's call the Crosstown off!
Crosstown Classic
I've never thought the idea of Hillary Clinton as Barack Obama's running mate made such sense, but Jerry Springer makes a pretty good brief for it in the Trib today.
Exile in Lameville
"[Phair] also admits that she was willing to lie and 'take advantage of people' to get her music heard and her bank account fattened," Greg Kot wrote on Sunday.
Flood Fallout
"The Midwest floods have washed out an estimated four million acres of prime farmland, crimping this year's harvest as the world desperately needs more grain," the New York Times noted over the weekend.
Broken System
"Hours after Sen. Barack Obama rejected public financing for his campaign on Thursday after failing to negotiate with rival Sen. John McCain as he said he would, Obama made a stop not publicly disclosed by his campaign: He visited with some of his elite corps of fund-raisers on his National Finance Committee who were meeting in Chicago for briefings and to map fund-raising strategy for the general election," Lynn Sweet writes today.
"More than half of Obama's money, for all his talk of micro-donors, comes from check writers of $200 and up, with much generated by bundlers who use their networks of wealthy friends to raise money for Obama."
In fact, reports Sweet, "Warren Buffet headlines a $28,500-per-person event July 2 in Chicago for Obama at the home of Obama finance chair Penny Pritzker."
Park Patronage
"Beer vending used to be a classic Chicago job where they don't want nobody nobody sent."
- White Sox vendor Bob Chicoine to the Sun-Times (unavailable online)
Tin Lizzy
"Exile in Guyville, arguably the most important indie-rock record to spawn from Chicago in the 1990s, not only was an eye-opening success crafted by a girl in a boys club, but also a sweaty, personal introduction to a songwriter who would wow us with such natural expression and talent only to break our hearts later in gross disappointment," writes Tom Lynch.
Ferris Bueller in . . .
. . . Melodramatic Monday.
Park District Dead
"Harvey's park district shut down on Friday, an apparent victim of corruption and a political power struggle," Phil Kadner wrote on Sunday.
A spokeswoman told Kadner that "The last park district board meeting apparently erupted in a lot of shouting."
That's Todd!
The Daily Herald fact-checks 10 claims Todd Stroger made while visiting Palatine last week. Only three were verifiably correct.
Neo Geo
"'I've told the story before, and he doesn't like me to talk about it,' said the Cubs' TV color analyst, Bob Brenly, who's a former catcher and series-winning manager himself, 'but when the celebration was going on in Cincinnati last year, when they clinched [first place in the Central Division and a playoff berth], Geovany stuck his head in Lou's office and said, as the beer and champagne were flying everywhere, In a couple years I'm gonna be your captain.'"
- From Ted Cox's excellent profile of Geovany Soto
George Carlin
I was never much of a George Carlin fan, but his influence was in evidence just this weekend in a cartoon by Jim Borgman of the Cincinnati Enquirer drawn and published over the weekend before his death (and appearing in the Tribune).
* On religion:
The Beachwood Tip Line: Be dirty.
Posted by Lou at 10:35 AM | Permalink
She's Got Issues
Coming soon!
Posted by Lou at 08:47 AM | Permalink
Booklist: Amazon Recommends
Amazon recommendations based on items I own and more.
1. West/Lucinda Williams
2. When the Mob Ran Vegas: Stories of Murder, Mayhem and Money/Steve Fischer
3. The Battle for Las Vegas: The Law Vs. the Mob/Dennis Griffin
4. The Tangled Web: The Life and Death of Richard Cain - Chicago Cop and Mafia Hitman/Michael J. Cain
5. Hopes and Dreams: The Story of Barack Obama/Steve Dougherty
6. Happy Woman Blues/Lucinda Williams
7. Supermob: How Sidney Korshak and His Criminal Associates Became America's Hidden Power Brokers/Gus Russo
8. The Silent Don: The Criminal Underworld of Santo Trafficante Jr./Scott M. Deitche
9. Ramblin'/Delroy Wilson
10. Live @ The Fillmore/Lucinda Williams
11. The Foundation of Merit: Public Service in American Democracy (Interpreting American Politics)/Patricia W. Ingraham
12. War of the Godfathers/William F. Roemer Jr.
13. A Woman in Charge: The Life of Hillary Rodham Clinton/Carl Bernstein
14. Why People Believe Weird Things: Pseudoscience, Superstition, and Other Confusions of Our Time/Michael Shermer
15. Murder Machine/Gene Mustain
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Previously in Booklist:
* The Walgreen's Discount Shelf
* The Last 10 Books I Read And Why
* Five Best Books Ever (For Now)
Posted by Lou at 08:38 AM | Permalink
SportsMonday
I took in Sunday's Cubs-Sox contest from my customary seat (for about 15 games a year) in upper deck reserved. And this is what I saw:
* Other than a special character in a Cubs Suck t-shirt parading down the aisle with his middle finger raised high in the eighth inning (somebody should've hit him with a broom), the Cubs fans versus White Sox fans thing was more muted than it had been in previous years in my section of the stands. A couple not-very-competitive games were certainly a factor and perhaps a few fewer Cubs fans were willing to sell their seats this time around.
* Ryan Dempster is Rawhide. He just keeps rollin', rollin', rollin'. And the Cubs thrived over the weekend despite the fact their dynamic duo of set-up men, Carlos Marmol and Bobby Howry, have been a little choppy of late. Marmol in particular was so very much due for a couple shaky outings. And now he's had them (against the Sox and the Rays last week). So he can go right on back to dominant any time now.
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* When Eric Patterson hits a home run, it might just be your year. Then again, Patterson really looks like he can hit (he's kept his average over .320 at AAA for the past two seasons). Not that his development is surprising in the least. The Cubs continue to pad their lead over the world in second-basemen developed, traded for and signed as free agents over the past few years. Patterson, who has been playing left field but has by far the most experience at the 4-spot, joins Alfonso Soriano, Mark DeRosa, Ryan Theriot and Mike Fontenot (you probably have to think of Ronnie Cedeno as primarily a shortstop) as second-sackers excelling all over the field for this year's Cubs.
* In the dugout, Lou Piniella has managed his ass off this season but he didn't have to do much Sunday other than make a few obvious pitching changes. One thing I love about Piniella is that he has shown if you give him talent, he can win a ton of games - one of his Seattle teams piled up a remarkable 116 victories in 2001 (yeah, yeah, those Mariners lost in the playoffs before they even made the World Series - why do you have to bring that up you Sox fan you).
* A great deal has been made about the Cubs' struggles on the road but when you win 80 percent of your games at home (32 of 40 so far), the road record matters so very, very little.
Beasley Bull
Any semblance of a debate regarding the Bulls' No. 1 pick ended last week when it was revealed that Michael Beasley stands three, count 'em, three, inches shorter than his listed height at Kansas State last year.
I'm stunned a bigger deal hasn't been made about this. Sure Beasley was a scoring and rebounding machine last year against some decent competition in the Big 12, but the difference between 6-10 and 6-7 in the NBA cannot be overstated. Every draft preview I read seems convinced that Beasley is a potential professional low-post superstar. Really? Against considerably taller defenders night after night? Against the sorts of guys who can jump as high as he can and are so much smarter about defensive and rebounding position than any of the guys he faced last season?
I already believed Simeon's (with a year of finishing school at Memphis) Derrick Rose was the right choice for the Bulls because of what he so clearly could become. The most exciting players to come into the league by far the last couple years are point guards Chris Paul and former Illini Deron Williams. They are the sort of distributor/scorer point guards that are the stars of the future and the 6-3 Rose obviously has a chance to be that sort of contributor. He also has off-the-charts athleticism, which should lead to plenty of points in transition. And some of those points will probably be exciting. And I'm all for exciting every once in a while.
But back to Beasley's shortcoming. I'll make a prediction right now: USC 6-4 combo guard O.J. Mayo will be a better pro than Beasley. I wouldn't be surprised if the Heat stepped up and shocked the world by drafting him at No.2 at the Thursday draft.
Of course who the heck knows what a Bulls team that hired Vinny Del Negro as its coach could possibly be thinking. I took a pass on writing about the new coach last week because I just had no clue where to begin but I have decided only to point out that the stories about the hire should have been much shorter than they were. They should have said simply that the Bulls hired the utterly inexperienced Del Negro because he was willing to work cheap. No other rationale makes a scintilla of sense.
I think these Bulls may still be debating whether to draft Rose or Beasley. Of course, I also hear they're still not sure about Peyton Manning over fellow quarterback Ryan Leaf in the 1998 NFL draft.
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Jim Coffman appears in this space every Monday with the best sports wrap-up in the city. You can write to him personally! Please include a real name if you would like your comments to be considered for publication.
Posted by Lou at 08:09 AM | Permalink
The White Sox Report
So before things got underway on Friday, I asked a bunch of my friends to write why they hated the Cubs, and I posted it on my site. As one would expect from a bunch of college kids, each response was more immature than the last. But all of them made one thing clear: even though these were only three games in the middle of June, this weekend mattered to Sox fans. I'm sure Cubs fans felt the same way.
That's why writing this column now is pretty hard. The Sox just got pounded into the dirt. What else is there to really say? It doesn't mean the season is over, or that the Sox still can't win the division and make the playoffs. Really, nothing was decided but a few barroom arguments. Still, those games felt like something more, and the Sox blew it. I really thought a decisive six-game series win over the Cubbies could have propelled the Sox to big things this year. Now all they can hope for is to tie up the season series at home, something that is clearly easier said than done.
Did the Sox play all that bad this weekend? Eh, I don't really think so. They dominated most of the first game, got screwed out of an Orlando Cabrera home run, and their normally reliable bullpen failed them. Saturday featured whatever the hell you call that fourth inning - bloodbath? Let's go with bloodbath - but the rest of the game simply saw two good offenses smacking each other back and forth while the wind blew out at Wrigley. The final game was the least competitive of the series, and I doubt any Sox fans really expected a comeback with the team down late.
I'm not so sure we learned anything this weekend other than that my parents are going to kill me because I received roughly 8,000 text messages from Cub fans friends reading "Go Cubs Go." Also: Jim Edmonds still sucks.
Man, I hate the Cubs.
*
Week in Review: 3-3 never seemed so terrible.
Week in Preview: It'll be fun to see Dodgers phenom Clayton Kershaw on Thursday. That's pretty much the highlight of the week. Oh wait . . . three more against the Cubbies are looming.
Fields on the Farm: Seriously, who cares?
The Missile Tracker: A pair of doubles against the Cubs was nice, it's just too bad his teammates never got him across home plate. I must say watching Alexei is infinitely more fun than watching Juan Uribe, so there's that.
Over/Under: 100: The number of times something like this has happened in Jay Mariotti's career. From the Trib's live blog:
"According to my spies in the press box: Sun-Times hero and fan favorite Jay Mariotti asked for a security presence to safeguard him from his colleagues.
Beachwood Sabermetrics: A complex algorithm performed by The White Sox Report staff using all historical data made available by Major League Baseball has determined that Mariotti asking for a bodyguard was clearly the highlight of the weekend.
Now go read The Cub Factor. Something tells me Marty will be a little more upbeat than me this week. Editor's Note: Nope!
The White Sox Report: Read 'em all.
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Comments welcome. Please include a real name if want to be considered for publication.
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Ricky O'Donnell is the proprietor of Tremendous Upside Potential , a contributor to the Sun-Times's Full Court Press and a lot of other things.
Posted by Lou at 07:50 AM | Permalink
The Cub Factor
Every season there are a few milestones that help us figure out what kind of team fans have are dealing with. A lot of people would say that this weekend was a watershed moment - that we learned something about this Cub team as they swept the White Sox this weekend. Here is a list of of what I learned the last few days:
1. Two-month old babies are still not at the "Hey, listen to me!" stage.
2. You need to make sure the gas is turned on or else the burners on your new grill won't light.
3. The grass looks better when cut on a lower setting.
4. I need a new job because well, I don't like the one I have so much.
5. Diet and exercise sound like an easy concept but it's a pain to pull off over the long haul.
Wait, you mean I was supposed to learn something about the Cubs this week? Well, I didn't. I knew that they were dynamite at home and a bit rocky on the road. And well, that hasn't changed. Getting beat by the Rays was a bigger deal than sweeping the White Sox in reality's book. The White Sox are a decent team, but the Rays are one of this season's elite teams. So there you go.
*
And if a team changes its name to the Rays, don't you think all their players should be named Ray? How cool would that be? You would have to field a team of guys named Ray. Heh-heh.
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Week in Review: The Cubs went 3-3 this week, getting swept on the road to the (Devil) Rays and sweeping the White Sox at home. Which begs the question: Should people who don't use brooms anymore bring those Swiffer things to the game?
Week in Preview : The Cubs stay in the city for six more this week with the Baltimore Orioles coming in for three at Wrigley and the Cubs jumping on the Red Line for three more against the Sox at the Cell. Next season they should make Crosstown Classic games all crosstown double-headers just to get the whole thing over quicker. Just like jim Hendry drew it up.
The Second Basemen Report: Joe Morgan called Mark DeRosa "a fixture" at second base for the Cubs on Sunday night's broadcast. Well, the "fixture" only played second base once this week, with Mike Fontenot starting two games and Ronnie Cedeno starting three. So we learned again this week that Joe Morgan sucks because as a homeowner I know that you don't replace your fixtures that often in a week.
In former second basemen news, Dave Hanson is the Diamondbacks minor league hitting coordinator. He is missed.
The Zam Bomb: Still furious, even while on the DL. Hide the watercoolers in the trainer's room.
Lost in Translation: Lou-san sensei Ozaka-sucka is Japanese for "Lou outmanaged Ozzie."
Sweet and Sour Lou: 75% sweet, 25% sour. Lou holds steady on the Sweet-O-Meter. And just like your real crazy drunk uncle, Lou is glad you beat the crap out of your cousin when he came over and made fun of rats in your basement, but he'll be more impressed if you go steal a few hubcaps from someone else's yard.
Center Stage: Supporting actor Kosuke Fukudome was called on once this week to play the lead role while Jim Edmonds and Reed Johnson nursed injuries. We're not convinced this ends here.
The Cub Factor: Catch up with them all.
Beachwood Sabermetrics: A complex algorithm performed by the The Cub Factor staff using all historical data made available by Major League Baseball has determined that it's time to put interleague play away.
Over/Under:The number of Chicago baseball fans who hate the other side of town for ridiculous reasons: +/- 2.8 million.
Mount Lou: Lou stays at status green this week as the two biggest eruption igniters are both on the DL and out of range for possible eruption disruption. In fact, Mount Lou is super green this week.
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Posted by Lou at 07:17 AM | Permalink
June 21, 2008
The Weekend Desk Report
This is no time for us to take a vacation. Not when the next Glorious Leader has just been born.
Market Update
Chicago seems to be more Bullish on Gators - no matter how potentially annoying they are - than on Wildcats. Tigers futures therefore have a slight edge over other felines.
Illinois High
It's Graduation Week, so extracurriculars are under close examination among the seniors at the state's biggest high school. The Debating Society is furious with team captain Richard Daley, accusing him of using them to pad his college applications. Meanwhile, Governor Rod is officially off the cheerleading squad.
High Threat-Count Sheets
Counter-terrorism experts say they have uncovered a motive behind England's recently-thwarted dirty bomb attack. The plotters apparently saw little hope for improvement of their living conditions.
Euro 2008
Two quarterfinals will be contested this weekend in the Euro 2008 tournament, and it's time for the Weekend Desk picks. The Netherlands have had a good run, but Russia has ways of beating down the opposition. On the other side of the bracket, Spain hasn't been too successful launching coups recently, while Italy has learned to stick to its guns.
Learning Curves
You know how U.S. students are always lagging behind their global peers in important subjects like Math and Science? Well, as we say at the Weekend Desk, duh.
Posted by Natasha at 08:43 AM | Permalink
June 20, 2008
The Five Dumbest Ideas of The Week
1. Rescinding a woman's invitation to sit behind Obama during a unity speech after learning she is wearing hijab. (Just think if McCain did that!)
Committed By: An unnamed and possibly unemployed cog in the Obama machine
2. Covering the death of Tim Russert for seven straight days.
Committed By: Howard Kurtz, Wolf Blitzer and everyone else in the Washington press corps.
3. Antagonizing PETA - and disgusting everyone else - by wearing a "Real Girls Eat Meat" T-shirt.
Committed By: Jessica Simpson.
4. Taking a job selling fire alarms door-to-door in the naive belief that you're actually a reality show contestant with a shot at winning a million dollars.
Committed By: Innumerable college students who obviously believed every doorbell was really a hidden camera.
5. Spending $6 billion over three years to train the Afghan police but not bothering to develop a plan listing deadlines and interim goals.
Committed By: The United States Department of Defense, whose initiative has not produced one police unit "fully capable of performing its mission."
Posted by Lou at 10:33 AM | Permalink
The [Friday] Papers
Who has the best coverage of the Crosstown Classic? I think we do!
The Sox wear black 'n' white,
The Cubbies wear blue
They have Fookodome,
Ozzie says Fookoyou
Black 'n white, Cubby blue, Fookodome, Fookoyou
Let's call the Crosstown off!
- New from the Beachwood Sports Audio Desk
Opening Night
A new sketch written and directed by our very own Cub Factor correspondent Marty Gangler (also seen here as "The Sun-Times" and here as "Tony Rezko") opens tonight at midnight at Donny's Skybox at Second City.
"100 . . . Years of Losing is a show about our national pastime, the lovable losers on the North Side, and all the little people that made this whole century long losing streak possible," Marty says. "But you don't have to be Cub fan to enjoy this sketch show. You also don't have to know anything about Lou Brock, Hack Wilson or the infield fly rule. 100 . . . is about singing, dancing, and believing - and all the while without one Bartman joke."
Olympic Obama
"Those tuning in to NBC Sports' Olympics coverage this year will see spots from General Motors, McDonald's, Budweiser, Nike and - just maybe - Sen. Barack Obama," Ad Age reports.
"Though the Obama campaign is keeping mum about whether it will definitely run spots, it has asked NBC Universal about Olympics advertising including $500,000, $2 million and $4 million packages of ads. (NBC presented those along with a $10 million package.) It's not only a sign that the Obama camp has faith it can continue its stellar fundraising achievements but a signal that a widening field of battleground states has the candidate contemplating national broadcast buys."
Money Changes Everything
"Obama explained his decision by saying that /the public financing of presidential elections as it exists today is broken, and we face opponents who've become masters at gaming this broken system,'" Steve Huntley writes. "He's talking about the independent groups that have found a way around the campaign finance regulations to help or hurt a candidate. The most prominent example was the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth, who damaged John Kerry's presidential hopes in 2004 by questioning his Vietnam record.
"But it took a bit of chutzpah - defined by the dictionary as 'shameless audacity' - for Obama to bring this up just days after the anti-war group MoveOn.org and a union ally paid $500,000 to run a maudlin and melodramatic ad attacking McCain. Clearly, Democrats know how to game the system as well."
*
The spin from the Obama camp - particularly in its latest e-mail to supporters - is wholly disingenuous. A good rule of thumb: How would you feel if the situation was reversed? In other words, Obamaphiles would be lambasting John McCain to high heaven right now if he pulled this move. More at Division Street later.
Carol's Pub
New Facebook group: Draft Carol Marin for Meet The Press.
Law Fools
"In a move that could shake up legal education, Northwestern University School of Law plans to announce Friday that it will begin offering students a chance to get a law degree in two years instead of the traditional three," the Tribune reports.
Insert your own new lawyer joke here!
*
KEANU: Why the law? Cut the shit, Dad. Why lawyers? Why the law?
PACINO: Because the law, my boy, puts us into everything.
*
Die Already
"Hundreds of readers responded to last week's column asking what they value in the Tribune," public editor Timothy J. McNulty writes.
Because hundreds of readers are all they have left.
Oh Yeah!
Kool-Aid Man loose on North Side.
Punch Lines
* "City Fires First Salvo In Battle Against Pest."
Applies for restraining order against Pete Wentz.
* "NU Breaks Ground For Proton Clinic."
Degrees will be granted after minus-two years.
* "Asian Carp's Invasion May Have Stalled."
American carp border fence credited.
* "Edens Rehab Work Switches Lanes Friday"
Just to mess with your mind.
* "Wright Urges Lawyers To Be Models For Youths."
Two years of school is enough, he says.
* "Pfleger Speaks At Anti-Violence Rally."
Says he'd really like to clock that bitch.
* "Petco Food Seized At Distribution Hub."
If they seize a radio station next, the revolution is on.
* "Metra Rock Island Passenger Injured By Broken Signal Arm."
Signal arm will get MRI today.
* "Governor Loses Chief Of Communications."
Had no comment.
The Beachwood Tip Line: Rough and mean.
Posted by Lou at 10:14 AM | Permalink
Let's Call The Crosstown Off
The Sox wear Black 'n White,
The Cubbies wear Blue
They have Fookodome,
Ozzie says Fookoyou
Black 'n white, Cubby Blue, Fookodome, Fookoyou
Let's call the Crosstown off!
|
In 2005 the champagne tasted great
The Cubs ain't won nothing since 1908
Champions, World Series, Losers, curse theories
Let's call the Crosstown off!
D-Lee! We must call the Crosstown off
While we're in first
Crede! This Elevated Series will show us who is worse
Cubs had Bartman,
The Sox had the Ligues,
Wrigley's like a happy hour,
The Cell can't fill it's seats.
For if we beat each other
Our first place clubs will falter
Let's call the Crosstown off!
Let's call the Crosstown off!
The Cubs have Kerry Wood, The Sox have Bobby Jenks
Zambrano's throwing coolers, Buerhle's in the tank
Kerry, Bobby, Head Case, Where's Thome?
Let's call the Crosstown off
Murphy's on the Northside, Jimbo's on the South
Pinella's got a big belly, Ozzie a big mouth
Lou's eating in the city, Guillen needs sensitivity
Let's call the Crosstown off!
Marmol! We must call the Crosstown off,
While we're both in first
Pablo! This interleague series will show us who is worse
Cubs play at Wrigley, The Sox play at the Cell
Ozzie plays a crazy Mexican, Lou gives the umpires hell
They're both just like each other
Ron Santo yells "Oh Brother"
So let's call the Crosstown off
Let's call the Crosstown off . . .
-
See also:
* The Crosstown Classic Crucible
-
More Beachwood Sports Audio:
* The 12 Days of Cubness
* Louklahoma & Ozziecabana
* The Hester Man Can!
* Dusty Must Get Fired
-
More Beachwood Sports Video:
* 99 Years Of Cubs Losses
* Cubs Fans: Please Stop Believin'
* Go Blame It On Steve Bartman
Posted by Lou at 07:05 AM | Permalink
The Best Radio You Have Never Heard
Chicago music guy Perry Bax has a definite winner with his twice-monthly podcast, The Best Radio You Have Never Heard. It's a very nice mixture of classic and punk rock rarities and remixes mingled with a heavy dose of '90s alternative rock and some sparkling samples of the newest and coolest of that genre. It lives up to its title - you indeed have never heard this kind of great music on "radio," by which I believe Bax means the commercial FM outlets in Chicago and elsewhere in this great land.
He doesn't allow much info about himself on the podcast's home Web site or on his MySpace page. But from what I was able to track down using my Googling skills, he's a one-time (perhaps current) music producer who worked with the Chicago band Odd Man Out back in the day, co-producing their 1990 album Havana on Frigid Air Records. The lead singer of Odd Man Out was John Vernon, now publisher and owner of Illinois Entertainer magazine, which gets a supporting credit on Bax's podcast. I also found a post from him somewhere in cyberspace where he says he was Stabbing Westward's tour manager for their 1993 debut album Ungod.
He also seems to be one of the world's top Genesis fans.
Sounds like Perry's got a real up-close perspective of alternative rock and its relationship with its 1960's predecessors. I think that's really borne out in his playlists. Here's the one from his June 15, 2008, Best Radio You Have Never Heard podcast, volume 88, entitled "The Late, Late Show."
1. Queen, "Bohemian Rhapsody" (Keith Droz remix). This version of the Queen classic separates Freddie Mercury's vocal tracks down into their own little worlds. Gives the familiar mini-opera an interesting perspective. From what I can tell, Droz is either an expert on "multiphase flow modeling" from the University of Houston or a drummer and singer for a band called Jerzee Boys. I kinda hope it's the former.
2. Genesis, "The Cinema Show /Aisle Of Plenty" (2008 remix). From the 1973 studio LP Selling England By the Pound, Bax tells us this version is a remix done by British producer/sound engineer Nick Davis in preparation for an upcoming boxed set of remixes of Genesis' early works. Progressive rock at its unapologetic peak.
3. Wreckless Eric, "Let's Go To The Pictures." From Eric's second Stiff Records LP, 1978's The Wonderful Word of Wreckless Eric, which showed off a bit more of Eric's range as he chafed against Stiff's pigeonholing him as a drunken lout of a bad boy.
4. Joe Jackson, "Good Bad Boy." Joe is back into the (nearly) rocking mode, kind of like his contemporary Elvis Costello. Both Elvis' and Joe's latest albums have a bit more back-to-basics punk rock attitude to them, finally. This song from Joe's latest LP, Rain, is the best thing he's done in years. It's been getting some deserved U.S. media attention, such as this version of "Good Bad Boy" he did on Jimmy Kimmel Live on June 14:
5. Shimmer, "Looking Glass" (live). In a nod to the Chicago scene, Bax has included a number by the now-defunct 1990s melodic rock band Shimmer, whose members met while students at Western Illinois University in Macomb. Recorded at Metro.
6. My Morning Jacket, "Wear Your Love Like Heaven." They used to be lumped in with the alt-country crowd. Now it's pretty obvious My Morning Jacket have really longed to be a late '60s psychedelic pop band. This song is from the 2002 album, A Gift From a Garden to a Flower: A Tribute Donovan, where the Jackets take an already acidy-sounding Donovan song and make it even spookier, with an extended slow-mo fade at the end.
7. Soul Asylum & Lulu, "To Sir, With Love." There are so many reasons why Soul Asylum was about as cool as it got in 1993. So, so many reasons. One of them is an appearance on MTV Unplugged with Lulu covering her 1967 smash.
8. Panda Riot, "Like Flowers At Night." Swirly-pop from the blissed-out trio from Philly, now living in Chicago. Another local nod from Perry B.
9. The Cure, "The Walk" (acoustic). This is from a bonus CD included in The Cure's 2001 greatest hits package, a disc that contained acoustic versions of some of their best-known songs. I found another acoustic version of "The Walk" on YouTube, in which they're sitting around backstage rehearsing for an appearance on MTV Unplugged in 1991.
10. Crowded House w/Roger McGuinn, "So You Want To Be A Rock And Roll Star" (live). Nice pick! This is what I mean by Bax's interesting takes on classic rock in his podcast. This song was recorded in 1989 at the Pantages Theater in Los Angeles and was included on Crowded House's EP I Feel Possessed. This is by far the best cover I've ever heard of The Byrds' masterpiece, although it's really only a semi-cover since it's McGuinn playing 12-string on both. His technique here is still as strong as it ever was.
11. Van Morrison, "These Are The Days." Call me clueless, but I've never been a big Van Morrison fan. His voice, of course, is inimitable, but I've just never cared for the songs he's employed it in. This mid-tempo folk rocker from 1989's Avalon Sunset has a lot feeling delivered through his vocals, but like seemingly all of Morrison's later works, the song is structured as a kind of bar-closing, bluesy ode to sodden sentimentality.
12. Return to Forever, "Song To The Pharoah Kings." Well, even the best DJs have their annoying quirks. Bax's seems to be a love of jazz-rock fusion. It kind of makes sense, given his Genesis obsession and prog rock tendencies. Groups like Return to Forever, with Al Di Meola playing a Chick Corea composition here, are definitely a matter of taste. It's OK in small doses. Except that this seems to go on for about 12 hours.
13. Cream, "I Feel Free." One thing I didn't really know about this song until Perry Bax told me was that it was Cream's first hit. It was the lead track on the group's first album.
14. Def Leppard, "Stay WIth Me." Holy crap! This is a totally fantastic cover of Rod Stewart's Faces standard. It's enough to make me want to buy a decent copy of the original. From Lep's underrated 2006 collection of covers, Yeah!, Joe Elliott's vocals are so dead-on Rod that he got a significant amount of crap for being too faithful to the original. Yeah, except that it rocks more than the original. It's like he took what was best about "Stay With Me," Stewart's vocal style, and added Lep's still-potent pop-metal attack.
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From the Beachwood jukebox to Marfa Public Radio, we have the playlists you need to be a better citizen of the Rock and Roll Nation.
Posted by Don at 12:15 AM | Permalink
June 19, 2008
The [Thursday] Papers
That's funny, I consulted a psychic recently who predicted the Sun-Times would do this story. And that it would be inane.
Die already, newspapers. Just die.
Copyright Violation
So now the fist bump is a Michelle Obama "trademark"? Do reporters live under rocks? People have been fist-bumping for, um, you know, years.
Memo to media: Here's another new thing you probably haven't seen before.
RIP Solve
Memorials. Tributes.
Claim Check
"I doubt that an unsubstantiated allegation that Cindy McCain used the N-word during a rant would have been handled the same way," Mary Mitchell writes today, referring to rumors that Michelle Obama used the word "whitey."
Mitchell is right: The McCain campaign would have been besieged - and rightly so - a thousand times more intensely. Are you kidding me?
Someone please freeze Mary Mitchell in a cryogenic tank until the campaign is over.
That's Mary!
"Never in history has a candidate's wife been attacked like this," some schmuck from the Heartland Institute tells Mitchell.
It's true. This is so much worse than the Hillary Clinton murders.
Michelle Makeover
"She's the real deal, not some overcoached, carefully packaged facsimile."
- Sun-Times editorial on Michelle Obama, today
"Now her husband's presidential campaign is giving her image a subtle makeover, with a new speech in the works to emphasize her humble roots and a tough new chief of staff. On Wednesday, Mrs. Obama will do a guest turn on The View, the daytime talk show on ABC, with an eye toward softening her reputation."
- The New York Times, yesterday on the front page
It's working!
P.S.: Nice touch sending a thank-you note to Laura Bush - and letting the media know about it.
Bear Wear
A pair of nylons?
Ocean's 11
"You've got Jesse Jackson Jr., an incumbent Democrat, blasting a fellow Democrat, Debbie Halvorson, for an airport governance bill that he says creates greater opportunity for corruption. State Rep. David Miller (D-Lynwood) buttressed Jackson's criticism with a scathing letter that lit into Halvorson for the same reasons," Kristen McQueary writes.
"In connecting Halvorson and her legislation to pay-to-play politics, Jackson and Miller took a red-hot poker to her campaign, which inevitably helps her Republican opponent in the 11th District race, Marty Ozinga.
"It's the last thing Democrats in Washington want - a Democrat damaging a race they want desperately to win. U.S. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi personally prodded Halvorson to run. Halvorson is likely to get a speaking gig at the Democratic National Convention to boost her profile.
"Meanwhile, Ozinga leads a cement company that holds an exclusive and lucrative contract with the city of Chicago. Ozinga has donated regularly to Mayor Richard Daley's political organizations and to Gov. Rod Blagojevich, often targets of Jackson's bluster."
As McQueary writes, there is an alternative to business as usual: The Green Party candidate.
Flood Control
Check out the Des Moines Register's photo galleries.
The home page is a more arresting place to start as I type this, but who knows when that page will change.
When The Levee Breaks
I'm going to Chicago.
Magic Bus
"We whizzed past cars, steered suddenly back into the right lane, then back over again," Mick Dumke writes. "People around me cast each other looks combining thrill and terror. Air whistled through gaps where the windows were open slightly. We were still accelerating. We hit one of the many potholes on the drive, seemed to go airborne, and slammed down again with a crash that left some wondering if the bus might possibly break in two."
Just Sayin'
I admit I haven't paid attention to the details, but doesn't the mayor's new proposal to allow bikes in bus lanes sound like a recipe for disaster?
Tomato Paste
Bad news for Adobo Grill, but I'm guessing their tableside guacamole is still freakin' awesome.
Money Man
"In a widely expected decision, Sen. Barack Obama announced this morning that his Democratic presidential bid will reject public financing. He announced the decision in an Internet video to supporters," the Swamp reports.
"It will be the first time a presidential nominee has not agreed to limit his spending and accept public financing since the system was put in place in 1976."
So . . . change we can cash in on?
"This means we'll be forgoing more than $80 million in public funds during the final months of this election," Obama said.
Well, depending on what you mean by the word "forgoing," because of course he's rejecting public financing because he can raise more money - you know, the stuff he wants to take out of politics - the private way.
"Obama had pledged late last year to stick to the public financing system, if the Republican nominee agreed to do the same."
Which the Republican nominee did.
"But in his video to supporters, he called the existing system 'broken' and argues his Internet fundraising approach is a better one."
It broke between then and now.
"It's not an easy decision, and especially because I support a robust system of public financing of elections," he said.
But, he added, I wouldn't be where I am today if I actually practiced what I preached.
Decal Duty
Seeing as how this is apparently allowed, I eagerly await a spate of Save Grant Park decals.
The Beachwood Tip Line: On time, budget.
Posted by Lou at 08:30 AM | Permalink
Song of the Moment: When The Levee Breaks
Original: 1929 (Kansas Joe & Memphis Minnie)
Version You Know: 1971 (Led Zeppelin)
Album: Led Zeppelin IV
Length: 7:08
Joe & Minnie
Wikipedia: "The lines at the end of the song, 'Going to Chicago; sorry but I can't take you', are quoted in 'Going to Chicago Blues' by Jimmy Rushing and the Count Basie Orchestra. In the first half of 1927, the Great Mississippi Flood ravaged the state of Mississippi and surrounding areas. It destroyed many homes and ravaged the agricultural economy of the Mississippi Basin. Many people were forced to flee to the cities of the Midwest in search of work, contributing to the 'Great Migration' of African Americans in the first half of the 20th century.
"Robert Plant of Led Zeppelin had the original McCoy and Minnie recording in his personal collection. He removed and rearranged lines and line parts from the original song and added new lyrical parts, and combined it with a revamped melody."
Led Zeppelin
Songfacts: "Heavily produced in the studio, this was difficult to perform live, which Led Zeppelin did only twice: once in a 'warm up' gig in Denmark before their 1975 US tour, and again on their second night in Chicago."
"Many rap songs have sampled the drums on this. For sampling purposes, this is great because of the clean, uninterrupted drum break at the beginning. The Beastie Boys used it on 'Rymin' And Stealin'' which opened their first album License To Ill. Other songs to use it include 'Lyrical Gangbang' by Dr. Dre and 'Beats And Pieces' by Coldcut.
Lyrics:
If it keeps on raining levee's going to break
If it keeps on raining levee's going to break
When the levee breaks have no place to stay
Mean old levee taught me to weep and moan
Mean old levee taught me to weep and moan
Got what it takes to make a Mountain Man leave his home
Oh, well; oh, well; oh, well.
Don't it make you feel bad?
When you're trying to find your way home you don't know which way to go?
When you're going down south and there's no work to do
And you're going on to Chicago
Crying won't help you, praying won't do you no good
Crying won't help you, praying won't do you no good
When the levee breaks, mama, you got to go
All last night sat on the levee and moaned
All last night sat on the levee and moaned
Thinking about my baby and my happy home
Going - going to Chicago
Going to Chicago
Sorry, but I can't take you
Going down - going down, now
Going down - going down, now
Going down
Going down
Going down
Going down
Going down - going down, now
Going down - going down, now
Going down - going down, now
Going down
Going dow-, dow-, dow-, dow-, down, now
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Previously in Song of the Moment:
* Iron Man
* The Story of Bo Diddley
* Teach Your Children
* Dream Vacation
Posted by Lou at 05:51 AM | Permalink
Topping Off Top Chef
UPDATE/June 19:
Highlights from the reunion show:
* Stephanie won Fan Favorite.
* Tom Colicchio revealed that, indeed, the competition was Richard's to lose.
* Colicchio also revealed that he did not agree with the decision the judges made on the episode he missed to keep Lisa and send Dale packing.
* Richard appeared via satellite from Atlanta where he was awaiting the birth of his child and said that he had opened a new restaurant - and by the tone in his voice, it didn't appear things were going well.
-
I also came across this.
ORIGINAL POST/June 16:
I asked the kitchen wizards Kris and Danielle at Flying Saucer for the last word on this season's Chicago-based Top Chef and the victory by Chicagoan Stephanie Izard. Here are their responses.
*
From Danielle:
1. The thought of cooking a four-course meal for nine judges after having a celebrity chef sous for me caused me to break into a sweat and curl up into a ball on my couch before the first commercial break.
2. Lisa sucks and should have been kicked off ages ago.
3. Richard did choke, he tried way too hard instead of just going with what he knows, but he's awesome for thinking outside the box.
4. Lisa sucks.
5. Stephanie brought it home!!! Just like Kris and I had predicted (clearly we know our shit! Or we can just spot someone who is leagues ahead of us!) Either was, it's finally a woman and she has helped put Chicago on the map. We aren't just a town of slow Midwesterners, we know how to eat.
6. Lisa still sucks.
7. All in all a great season, with great challenges and an awesome location. My conclusion is that Stephanie won because she stripped her food of all pretentiousness and cooked because she loves to. Everything she made was very homestyle (loosely used, wouldn't expect [our pal and her boss] Andrew to pull off some of those meals in his home). Food is something that should unite the masses, it's a necessity, not a luxury. Stephanie knew how to cook food everyone would enjoy, but still make those judges feel like they could be snooty about it. Last but not least, modesty. This is an ingredient missing in most kitchens, which brings us back to why Kris and I work where we do. We do eggs, but we do them well and purely because we love cooking. I know its cheesy, but Stephanie made us proud!
From Kris:
I asked Kris some separate questions.
1. Did you ever go to Scylla [Izard's restaurant] when it was in Bucktown?
No I have never been.
2. Lisa sucks, but she almost pulled it out! Were you scared?
I was so scared 'cause like Lisa had said on the show, her second and fourth dished rocked the judges but Steph's first and third rocked them. I was screaming at the TV and pointing out Lisa's flaws as if it was a live show and the judges could hear me. I was so relieved when they announced Steph.
3. Except for the time he didn't get all the scales off the fish,
wasn't Richard the best over the course of the season? Or no?
Richard was great throughout the season. I totally saw him in the final three. He's a great leader which makes a great chef and he's not pompous so people love to work with him. As far as being the best, though, I am a little biased because Steph is from here, so I have to back her up.
4. Liquid nitrogen.
Freaks me out, but Richard's use of it was really great. It's a very interesting technique but a little too scary for me.
5. Dale almost blew it for Stephanie that one time!
Oh my gosh! When they went to the commercial and I saw that pork belly sitting under the table I freaked out. Again screaming at the TV like a madwoman for no reason. However the dish he suggested (the pork rind salad) went over very well with the judges and they said it was one of their favorites that day. So really it worked in her favor.
*
*
Posted by Lou at 02:33 AM | Permalink
June 18, 2008
The [Wednesday] Papers
1. One more reason to hate Fall Out Boy, and especially glam boy Petey Wentz.
3. Readership surveys must show that the Sun-Times gets a return on its investment in Jay Mariotti.
4. What tends to happen when the Cubs go 20 games over.500.
5. Has McDonald's Found Its Jared?
6. "The winner of a controversial Chicago Park District contract that's now under federal probe promised to help City Hall pay for the prized proposed 2016 Olympics here if it was awarded the pact," Crain's reports.
"Official bid documents made available to Crain's indicate that Westrec Marina Management Inc. told the district that it and two partners could 'potentially fund all of the harbor improvements necessary to host the Olympic Games' and even perhaps lock in 'sponsorship of the boating events in the Olympics.'"
7. Please make the stupidest and most unfunny press releases in the history of Corporate America stop.
And memo to Kim Johnson: Your co-workers are all thinking about your rack today.
8. "Now convicted of federal crimes, Rezko - a close associate of Gov. Rod Blagojevich - also met several times with Giannoulias as a banking customer, Giannoulias told the SouthtownStar's editorial board," Kristen McQueary writes.
"Before being elected state treasurer, Giannoulias was vice president of his family's North Side bank, Broadway Bank. Rezko was a client. In addition to at least one loan secured through the bank, Rezko held a checking account there. Rezko is accused of writing nine bad checks from the account totaling more than $400,000 to Las Vegas casinos, Nevada authorities revealed last month."
10. Plfeger: "I'm Not Changing."
So, do you believe Hillary Clinton is a bigot or not? Maybe Obama can post your answer on his new Fight The Smears site.
11. "In Superstation Mess, City Sinks To New Low," Crain's says.
But it's the price we pay for a "can-do" mayor.
12. Obama's New Church?
13. The Crosstown Classic: A Beachwood Preview.
14. Segment of Chicago Tonight last night that I skipped: "Mancow Muller with thoughts about how the media covers itself.
15. Rick Kogan said on the show's segment about the crumbling newspaper industry that there were at least 40 people in the Tribune newsroom who - he put it kindly - weren't doing the kind of work commensurate with their salaries.
Name those 40!
16. As I've said before, the presence of deadwood doesn't mean a paper's newsroom is "fat"; you can never have too many reporters. It means a paper's newsroom is mismanaged. If three players on a baseball team's roster aren't producing, you don't cut the size of your roster, you replace the crappy players.
17. Irony: Better players leads to more wins which generates more revenue. Get it?
18. Rep. David Miller comments on "Rezko International Airport."
19. Tom Turkey Tunney.
20. Mick Dumke and Ben Joravsky vs. Fran Spielman and Gary Washburn. Discuss.
21. "Something's gotta be done to change newspapers," Kogan said. "Change or die."
I've been hearing that since I was in college in the 1980s. And newspapers don't look or operate much different today than they did then.
And you know what? Those of us who, you know, had some ideas about how to change newspapers were, um, you know, unwelcome . . .
22. "Is news delivery on the Internet journalistically solid?" Elizabeth Brackett asked.
Do you think she's referring to Eric Zorn's click polls and Neil Steinberg's Joke of the Day? Or to anonymous commenting about an alleged pedophile and the S-T's photo galleries?
23. Kogan says you're not going to see a great investigative reporter like Maury Possley lose his job because he doesn't produce more stories, and I certainly hope not. But tell that to John Conroy.
24. Former Medill dean Loren Ghiglione expressed concern at the lack of gatekeepers on the Web.
A) You mean Michael Cooke doesn't edit the S-T website too?
B) I know! I mean, who's going to stifle dissent the next time we're preparing to fight a war based on lies?
25. Oh, look, a press release was accidentally published as a news story in the Sun-Times. I guess the gatekeepers were . . . at Starbucks.
THIS JUST IN: From reader Garry Jaffe: "Sneed wrote the following garbage today, but Radar Online wrote yesterday afternoon that it was a totally false rumor. The time listed is Eastern, so both Sneed & the ST copy editors [as if there are any] certainly had time to find out the truth.
SNEED: "$$$$ . . .
"Author J.K. Rowling was not only the world's highest-earning celebritylast year, raking in about $300 million . . . but her Potter cast is doing pretty well too.
" . . . Translation: Emma Watson, who plays Hermione Granger in the Potter films, reportedly just signed a two-year contract worth about $6 million to be the face of a Chanel perfume."
RADAR: "Watson Won't Smell For Chanel. By Hailey Eber 06/17/08 2:30 PM
"Yesterday the Daily Mail reported that Harry Potter's Emma Watson would be taking over for Keira Knightley as the new face of Chanel's Coco Mademoiselle. However, her rep tells Radar that was just a false rumor spread by the British papers. Watson is not set to be the new face of the famed French fashion house, and her reps thinks Chanel is sticking with Keira. A Chanel rep tells E! Online that talk of a $6 million deal with Watson are 'just a rumor' and 'false.' There was no immediate comment from Keira's camp."
-
I think what Garry is trying to say is this: Can news delivery on paper be journalistically solid?
-
The Beachwood Tip Line: Change you can believe in.
Posted by Lou at 07:52 AM | Permalink
The Crosstown Classic Crucible
Our correspondents answer the key questions. Participating: Ricky O'Donnell, of The White Sox Report; Marty Gangler, of The Cub Factor; Rick Kaempfer, The Cubs Answer Man; Eric Emery, of The Blue & Orange Kool-Aid Report; and Steve Rhodes, who was at this game. Let's take a look.
1. Predict the outcome.
O'DONNELL: Well, I have to say the Sox are going to take two of three right? Let's go with that.
GANGLER: Cubs win two of three and almost sweep. I would predict that against anyone coming in right now. They are hot as hell at home.
KAEMPFER: Cubs win two out of three at Wrigley, Sox win two out of three at the Cell. God will not make a choice here. He's proven it time and time again. The two teams are exactly tied.
EMERY: In 1988, the Crosstown Classic was an exhibition game. Therefore, I predict the Cubs will win one and Mike Ditka will win two, at a combined score of 242 to -5.
RHODES: More Sox fans than Cubs fans will end up in jail.
2. Most likely to get tossed: Lou or Ozzie. Explain.
O'DONNELL: Ozzie, for sure. I think he's less likely to explode in Wrigley, though. That may bring out some heavy racial slurs from the always classy bleacher residents.
GANGLER: Ozzie. He cares more about this series. Lou is getting the hammock ready for the summer.
KAEMPFER: If certain words are "guaranteed" to get you tossed, Ozzie will always be the favorite. He uses those words as nouns, verbs, adjectives, and adverbs in two different languages.
EMERY: Ozzie could run out of the dugout and get tossed three times before Lou makes it to the steps. Lou is simply too fat to get tossed. In fact, chances are better that the umpire will be tossed by Lou due to Lou's gravitational pull.
RHODES: Gangler. He cares more about the series than he will ever admit.
3. Explain why this series does/does not mean anything.
O'DONNELL: I suppose it doesn't really mean anything to the Cubs. The Sox have been struggling a tad lately and the Cubs are getting all the media attention. I think taking five of six from the Cubbies could fuel a big White Sox second half.
GANGLER: It means the same as any other three-game series against an opponent not in your division. Which is not too much. Tell the overzealous Sox/Cub fan to get fired up in October - well, provided the Sox get there.
KAEMPFER: It means much more to the Sox. Sox fans hate the Cubs more than they love the Sox.
EMERY: It serves as a built-in excuse for Cubs fans when the Cubs lose their division to the Cards by two games. We get to whine because the Cards get to play a Triple-A team for their interleague rivalry.
RHODES: It means more to the media than the players or fans because it gives them yet another diversion from actually reporting real news.
4. Predict the series MVP.
O'DONNELL: How about A.J.? Cubs fans love that guy.
GANGLER: I'm going with that beer vendor who comes down the aisle at the right time. But if they did have a Crosstown Classic MVP, they should have some sort of trophy, like the Silver Deep Dish Pizza.
KAEMPFER: I predict it will be a Hispanic player.
EMERY: Carlos Lee.
RHODES: The Sun-Times, for telling us whose fans are hotter.
5. Whose fans are hotter?
O'DONNELL: If only a major newspaper would ask such a question, we could finally have a definitive answer.
GANGLER: Cub fans. My wife is a Cub fan so, yeah, definitely Cub fans.
KAEMPFER: I know this is anecdotal, but I ran into Janine Turner at Wrigley once and Marge Schott at the Cell. I'd say that about sums it up.
EMERY: Your mom is hotter.
RHODES: Twins fans.
6. Odds of an All-Chicago World Series?
O'DONNELL: I really think it's going to happen. The Cubs are a pure juggernaut, and the AL lacks a dominant team.
GANGLER: 3 percent. I think there is a 3 percent chance of anything happening.
KAEMPFER: About the same as a Middle East peace accord brokered by George W. Bush.
EMERY: 100 percent. It is destiny. However, the night the Cubs clinch the NLCS, the collective weight of Cub fans will crush the Red Line, forcing the World Series to be played in Milwaukee.
RHODES: You people never learn.
-
Send us your answers! Please include a real name; it's way funner that way.
-
1. From our very own Jim Coffman, of SportsMonday fame:
1. Cubs sweep all six. This is the year, baby! They're gonna do it! They're gonna win 100 games, take the top seed into the playoffs and then get beat in a fluky series by the 85-win NL West champion . . . somebodies. Somebody's got to win 85 out there, don't they?
2. A scrumptious (did I use this word in Sports Monday this week? oh well) Caesar Salad at one of the many delightful eateries just a hop, skip and a jump away from Wrigley.
3. It means I smell the meat a-cookin', and I'm about to eat.
4. Micah Hoffpower (when you spell it this way, you can pronounce it without spraining your tongue).
5. At the Cell, of course. Many more seats located in direct sunight.
6. 38-1, i.e., exactly the same as Da'Tara's in the Belmont.
2. From Dave Willems:
1. The Cubs will prevail in all six games and the city's sports sections will have each of the Cubs victories as front page news. The Sox won't be mentioned until page 3.
2. Ozzie. The umpires can't understand a word he says so they assume he's bad-mouthing their mothers and swearing at them.
3. To both team's fans, it means the same thing as if the Bears lost to the Packers. To the players, it's a paycheck.
4. Kerry Wood. He will save all six games while hitting 15 Sox batters in the process.
5. I've been to a Cubs game where the bleacher section was flashed by a hot blonde . . . Wrigley Field wins hands down.
6. 0%. Bartman will sneak into the bleachers for the 7th and deciding game in the NLCS, and after the D-Backs hit a home run in the first inning, he'll throw the ball back onto the field and hit Soriano, Theriot, Ramirez and then Lou in the head, rendering all four of them comatose for days. Cubs lose the game 8-7 when Felix Pie pays tribute to the fallen Soriano by jumping to catch a routine fly ball for the final out . . . and dropping it . . . allowing the bases to clear. Ron Santo then self-combusts and Wrigley Field burns to the ground.
Posted by Lou at 06:15 AM | Permalink
Cause of Death: Fresh, Clean Scent
Custodial Department Another Line of Homeland Defense
Somewhere beyond anthrax, cyanide and the dirty bomb lies a more obscure threat to America. Just ask the victims of an industrial accident this past week at an otherwise innocuous chocolate factory in Chicago.
When a custodial worker unintentionally mixed one cleaning agent in with another, the resulting chemical reaction was a lethal fume that killed one and sent two others to the hospital.
Terrorism is not suspected in the incident, but the misfortune brings to light an intriguing topic that can impact any one or all of your listeners. According to John Walker, president of ManageMen, a cleaning industry education firm, “many corporations overlook two very important dynamics in their custodial training programs: —worker safety and physical security.”
As a guest on your show, Walker can provide insight into the unusual, though very real, notion of professional janitorial service agencies as another line of homeland defense.
Along with identifying the most dangerous, yet commonly used industrial cleaning agents, and the theoretical dangers they pose in the hands of terrorists, Walker can offer solutions for both small- and large-scale janitorial safety. “It’s not just about knowing the chemistries of the products being used,” he says. “There are other dynamics to custodial department safety in terms of employee screening and chemical security that many businesses have never even considered.”
ABOUT JOHN WALKER
John Walker is recognized as a leading cleaning industry authority. He is President of ManageMen, Inc. where he developed the ManageMen Operating System or (OS1), a cleaning process utilized by many leading cleaning industry organizations and validated as “best practice” in a 2006 University of North Carolina Study.
In 1993 he founded JANITOR UNIVERSITY. JANITOR UNIVERSITY is not for Janitors but for leaders and facility directors of large cleaning operations. It provides them a graduate school level curriculum and an avenue to learn the critical information necessary for professional cleaning management. The JANITOR UNIVERSITY alum is a WhoÂ’'s Who of cleaning industry leadership.
John is the former Director of Education and Training of ISSA (International Sanitary Supply Association) and produced many of their industry standard educational programs including ISSAÂ’s Official 447 Cleaning Times, 14 Basic Cleaning Procedures, Carpet Care 101 and the E.Z. Trainer series for cleaning organizations. John was a contributing editor to Contracting Profits magazine and Housekeeping Solutions magazine. He was inducted into the Cleaning Management Institute Hall of Fame in 2003.
John and his wife/business partner Renae were the first recipients of the prestigious Pinnacle Award for Lifetime Achievement in the Cleaning Industry by the (OS1) Users Group in 2002.
Posted by Lou at 12:18 AM | Permalink
June 17, 2008
The [Tuesday] Papers
I'm on a bit of a weird schedule today so I'm not sure if there will be a Papers column, but I might have something here later, as well as at Division Street.
In the meantime, please enjoy the rest of the site, including today's new comic book post from our very own Max Eddy. Even if you aren't a comic book fan, look at the artwork. Later!
The [Monday] Papers
The playoff at Torrey Pines begins at 11 a.m. on ESPN. NBC takes over at 1 p.m. The forecast is mid-70s. After all, it's in San Diego.
Beachwood Baseball
* Jordan faxing in "I'm Back" this was not. In The White Sox Report.
* The team will start the week playing a game that doesn't count and end the week with games that will count too much. In The Cub Factor.
* "I'm running out of superlatives for the Cubs at this point," our very own Jim Coffman writes, "but so far the Cardinals are an even better story." In SportsMonday.
Father's Day Farce
"White House hopeful Barack Obama gave a tough-love but optimistic Father's Day sermon at the Apostolic Church of God on Sunday, exhorting other fathers, especially African Americans, to meet their responsibilities," the Sun-Times (and others, of course) reports.
As with his policy pronouncements, Obama's actual record is missing from the reports:
"Earlier in their 15-year marriage, [Michelle] was often furious with her husband," Vanity Fair reported in December 2007. "'I have chosen a life with a ridiculous schedule, a life that requires me to be gone from Michelle and the girls for long stretches of time and that exposes Michelle to all sorts of stress,' Barack wrote in his best-seller The Audacity of Hope."
Available to reporters since it was published in December 2006.
"By the time their second child was born, he reported, 'my wife's anger toward me seemed barely contained. "You only think of yourself," she would tell me. "I never thought I'd have to raise a family alone."
"Mrs. Obama finally got tired of being enraged and miserable. 'One day I woke up and said, I can't live my life mad. This is just no fun,' she reports. 'For a period in my life, I thought the help I needed had to come from Barack. It wasn't that he didn't care, but he wasn't there. So I enlisted moms and babysitters and got help with the housecleaning, and I built that community myself.'
"She also had to re-evaluate the gap between her own expectations and her husband's far more flexible ideas about family life. 'I came into our marriage with a more traditional notion of what a family is,' she says. 'It was what I knew growing up - the mother at home, the father works, you have dinner around the table. I had a very stable, conventional upbringing, and that felt very safe to me. And then I married a man who came from a very different kind of upbringing. He didn't grow up with a father; his mother traveled the world. So we both came to this marriage with very different notions about what children need, and what does a couple need to be happy.'"
TV Talk
"Obama's Message To Fathers: ACT LIKE A MAN (and turn off 'SportsCenter'
- Sun-Times cover today
"Along the way, some unofficial rules have emerged between the candidate and his aide. From Mr. Obama: 'One cardinal rule of the road is, we don't watch CNN, the news or MSNBC. We don't watch any talking heads or any politics. We watch 'SportsCenter' and argue about that."
- New York Times, May 27
Divine Ruler
"[They ask] how do you manage all this, 'folks talking about you on cable?' I say, 'Trust the Lord.' I trust in the Lord. He looks after me."
- Obama, according to the Sun-Times account
Solve Murder
"Renowned local street artist Brendan 'Solve' Scanlon was murdered in Logan Square Friday night," Chicagoist notes. They have a link to an interview with Scanlon and photos of his work.
Super Mayor
"Mayor Richard Daley said Saturday he urged officials to stop construction of the CTA's downtown 'super station' project to speed express trains to both Chicago airports because the plan's technology was outdated," the Tribune reported over the weekend.
And, um, "urged"?
Yes, I can see it now. "CTA chief Ron Huberman decided to go ahead with the downtown 'super station' despite Mayor Daley urging him to shut it down."
At least the Trib had this:
"When CTA president Ron Huberman announced that the project in the Loop's Block 37 was being delayed indefinitely, he made no mention of any switching or other technology issues that were holding back the project."
That's because Daley is making it up as he goes.
"But Daley said he agreed with the delay 'because you cannot go with an old switch system. The technology has to be there.'"
He agreed with the delay?
Memo to reporters: If you can't get to the bottom of a boondoggle by deadline, you aren't required to publish spin just because officials spout it. It isn't pretty, but you could even go with the CTA chief and the mayor giving confusing, conflicting accounts as to how the decision to shut down yet another overbudget, oft-delayed project came about. Report what you know, not what officials tell you.
*
"I said to them you can't build a station without changing the technology," Daley said. "I told them they had to stop."
So . . . he didn't "urge" and he didn't "agree with." It's Daley's project: He started it, he spent the money for it, and he shut it down. He's accountable. Let's just be clear.
Beachwood, Baby!
* Check out our new music feature, I Shot the Band. Our opening foray features local buzz band Company of Thieves.
* We have another new feature we're calling Big in Japan, from Dan Simon, our new Tokyo bureau chief. His first dispatch about Kosuke Fukudome may surprise you.
* A final word on Top Chef
The Beachwood Tip Line: Scalloped.
Posted by Lou at 06:42 AM | Permalink
Gentle reader, let me bare all to you. Let me tell you about how Warren Ellis hurt me. In 2005, I discovered Desolation Jones, an offbeat little number written by Warren Ellis. I read the first two issues while sitting on my cousin's chair and stroking his cat. It blew me away, and I went right back home and bought the first issue for my very own, and started my first pull-list. At the time, I hadn't bought a single-issue comic since the mid-1990's and displayed Desolation Jones #1, and many of the subsequent issues on my shelf. But this summer romance was not to be. After the June 2006 issue, there was a long, long silence. Readers know that when a monthly regular is late, the future of the title is in question. When Jones miraculously returned around December, I was overjoyed! As the birth of Jesus brought hope in the dead of winter, so did the arrival of Desolation Jones #7 bring hope to me. But it was a false hope. A new story arc, a new artist, and what felt like a new mindset for Ellis made #7 a weak offering. The arrival of #8 was met not with enthusiasm, but trepidation. And since then, no one has seen not hide nor tail of good ol' Jones. When newuniversal first showed up in my local shop in 2007, I was still reeling from the whole Jones debacle, and wasn't sure if I was willing to trust Ellis again. But the covers looked neat and the word on the street was that newuniversal was a good read, so I picked it up. It was weird, it was wonderful, and completely surprising - I loved it. And then again, after a good six-issue run, it vanished. There was no anger, not this time. I should have known better. Now, perhaps you can understand my pants-wetting shock when the nice woman behind the counter of my shop holds up a shiny newuniversal issue, and hands it to me. We were both surprised, and she advised me to not get my hopes up. As always, the people at the comic shop had excellent advice. (For those of you who don't live through the roller coaster ride that is Warren Ellis' writing habits, see my summary of the summary from the beginning of the issue*) This issue forgoes all the a-bomb dropping craziness of the last issue, and decides to meditate on comic books for a little while. At least I think that's what it's meditating on. One of our superhumans, Izumi, works at comic book store, peddling manhua (Chinese comic books, I had to look it up). She and her boss talk about the biz and how they can't stand the fanboys, while in the background a stream of manga references recast as manhua parade by. I can't tell if Ellis wants us to know how much he hates manga, or how much he hates comic book readers, or what, but it's okay because a crazy guy bends space and/or time by talking about Vancouver and the whole store gets blown to hell. Cut to police headquarters, where the boys in blue have figured out that the crazed murderer they've got is actually one of their own. This would actually be interesting if readers didn't already know all of this. The cops are talking about Detective John Tensen, the superhuman who was shot in the head before gaining his powers. He woke up with stitches across his temple, and crazy psychic cutting powers to match the crazy psychosis in his head, back at the beginning of the series. He concluded, as anyone waking up in New York would, that he is in Hell and started to dismember delinquents. He is the only interesting character, and does not get nearly enough screen time. After two pages with the pigs, we return to Izumi coming home to superhuman Ken, whom she's hiding at her pad since he accidentally obliterated some locals a few issues back. Izumi's all shook up from the whole bombing thing, so she and Ken decide to go and take a look at what's left of the manhua shop. Quick cut to some football players. If you haven't figured it out yet, people accidentally destroying the innocent with superpowers they didn't even know they had is a leitmotif of the series, so we're not surprised at all to see a quarterback eviscerate a defenseman to the shock and horror of all concerned. Nice splatter, though. Back at the bombing site, Ken and Izumi are still blah-blah-ing when Ken admits he's got some kind of synesthesia going on ("There's a glow around your TV when it's on?" "It glows kinda how mint tastes"") and sees a vapor trail leading away from the blast zone. They conclude that the meth-head who demolished the place wasn't a suicide bomber, but a superhuman (!!!). Crazy John Tensen babbles penultimately about needing to kill more people for a page. God bless you, John Tensen. Bless your whacked out, sociopathic heart. Then we get to the ending, which is fantastic. I'm not going to give it away, but I will say that it involves a country whose national bird is the loon. If you can't tell from my sarcasm, I was not overly impressed with this issue. First off, there has been a sudden switch of artists (does this sound familiar?), and that hasn't helped things. The former artist was Salvador Larroca, whom I was unkind to in my last article. However, his art really worked in newuniversal. Larroca's clean, digital realism meshed well with the story. True, it still suffered from looking awkward and impersonal at times, but it wasn't offensive. The new artist, Steve Kurth, is not a bad artist. He's at worst just a bland artist. Larroca's work had a certain signature feel to it that made the whole newuniversal experience seem unique, while Kurth's stuff looks like any ol' comic book. Kurth is worst when his characters are talking, or in anyway relating to one another. The interactions between Ken and Izumi are especially awkward. Most of the time it's as if they're not even talking with each other, just posing and waiting to have the speech bubbles dropped on to sort things out. Izumi's tears over her boss are just downright laughable, with some panels resembling Brenda Starr or Judge Parker in their layout. In defense of Kurth, I'll say that the crazy-exploding-meth-head looks fantastic. Kurth has nailed the expressions of a crazy man, and this character moves through the panels in a way that none of the others do. Perhaps like me, Kurth was most intrigued by the crazy-exploding-meth-head and wanted to spend more time working on him. Eillis' writing isn't going to get off the hook, though. Everything is much too rushed in this issue, and there's hardly room to read let alone let the characters live and breathe on the page. As a good friend of mine said, "THERE ARE TOO MANY WORDS." This issue lacks good pacing, and puts too much on the table, presumably to set up what comes next. It's like Ellis just won't let me fall in love with the series again. He just drops us all in, hoping no one will notice the lag between issues. This might work for an established series where the characters have been around for a long time, but these guys are just babies - just six issues old! What was so unique about the original series is still here in Shockfront #1, but it's buried beneath a hectic issue. Treating superheroes as a dangerous, haphazard thing that happen at random is refreshingly new, and is what set this series apart from so many others. Ellis has certainly not lost his edge, and the series still has the potential to be a truly great experience. But I can't help but feel like it's Desolation Jones all over again. Ellis comes in out of the blue with a great concept, great characters, and just when things are beginning to develop it just falters and stops. I get the feeling that for Ellis, titles like newuniversal and Desolation Jones are his scratchpad - a place for him to play around with ideas, but do little more than play. - * In 2006, the sky goes white - and that is some weird shit. People start wakin' up from 'The White Event' (which I personally believe to be very, very similar to The White Sale at JC Penny) with crazy superpowers. Catch is that they don't really know what these powers are, how to control them, or the extent of their abilities. Neat, huh? And don't go talkin' 'bout how this is exactly like Heroes because I have never seen Heroes and don't give a damn. So there. Anyway, one of these freshly minted superhumans talks to a big alien rod (which bares a striking resemblance to the mother ship from
Deja Desolation Jones
All caught up? Good.
-
The author wishes his readers to know that newuniversal : SHOCKFRONT 2 is now available, but was not available at the time of writing. If issue two brings anything new to the table, you can be sure you'll see it here. The author himself would like to read issue two, but there are currently 402 miles and a Great Lake between the author and his pulls.
-
Previously:
* Invincible Iron Man #1
Posted by Lou at 12:15 AM | Permalink
June 16, 2008
The [Monday] Papers
The playoff at Torrey Pines begins at 11 a.m. on ESPN. NBC takes over at 1 p.m. The forecast is mid-70s. After all, it's in San Diego.
Beachwood Baseball
* Jordan faxing in "I'm Back" this was not. In The White Sox Report.
* The team will start the week playing a game that doesn't count and end the week with games that will count too much. In The Cub Factor.
* "I'm running out of superlatives for the Cubs at this point," our very own Jim Coffman writes, "but so far the Cardinals are an even better story." In SportsMonday.
Father's Day Farce
"White House hopeful Barack Obama gave a tough-love but optimistic Father's Day sermon at the Apostolic Church of God on Sunday, exhorting other fathers, especially African Americans, to meet their responsibilities," the Sun-Times (and others, of course) reports.
As with his policy pronouncements, Obama's actual record is missing from the reports:
"Earlier in their 15-year marriage, [Michelle] was often furious with her husband," Vanity Fair reported in December 2007. "'I have chosen a life with a ridiculous schedule, a life that requires me to be gone from Michelle and the girls for long stretches of time and that exposes Michelle to all sorts of stress,' Barack wrote in his best-seller The Audacity of Hope."
Available to reporters since it was published in December 2006.
"By the time their second child was born, he reported, 'my wife's anger toward me seemed barely contained. "You only think of yourself," she would tell me. "I never thought I'd have to raise a family alone."
"Mrs. Obama finally got tired of being enraged and miserable. 'One day I woke up and said, I can't live my life mad. This is just no fun,' she reports. 'For a period in my life, I thought the help I needed had to come from Barack. It wasn't that he didn't care, but he wasn't there. So I enlisted moms and babysitters and got help with the housecleaning, and I built that community myself.'
"She also had to re-evaluate the gap between her own expectations and her husband's far more flexible ideas about family life. 'I came into our marriage with a more traditional notion of what a family is,' she says. 'It was what I knew growing up - the mother at home, the father works, you have dinner around the table. I had a very stable, conventional upbringing, and that felt very safe to me. And then I married a man who came from a very different kind of upbringing. He didn't grow up with a father; his mother traveled the world. So we both came to this marriage with very different notions about what children need, and what does a couple need to be happy.'"
TV Talk
"Obama's Message To Fathers: ACT LIKE A MAN (and turn off 'SportsCenter'
- Sun-Times cover today
"Along the way, some unofficial rules have emerged between the candidate and his aide. From Mr. Obama: 'One cardinal rule of the road is, we don't watch CNN, the news or MSNBC. We don't watch any talking heads or any politics. We watch 'SportsCenter' and argue about that."
- New York Times, May 27
Divine Ruler
"[They ask] how do you manage all this, 'folks talking about you on cable?' I say, 'Trust the Lord.' I trust in the Lord. He looks after me."
- Obama, according to the Sun-Times account
Solve Murder
"Renowned local street artist Brendan 'Solve' Scanlon was murdered in Logan Square Friday night," Chicagoist notes. They have a link to an interview with Scanlon and photos of his work.
Super Mayor
"Mayor Richard Daley said Saturday he urged officials to stop construction of the CTA's downtown 'super station' project to speed express trains to both Chicago airports because the plan's technology was outdated," the Tribune reported over the weekend.
And, um, "urged"?
Yes, I can see it now. "CTA chief Ron Huberman decided to go ahead with the downtown 'super station' despite Mayor Daley urging him to shut it down."
At least the Trib had this:
"When CTA president Ron Huberman announced that the project in the Loop's Block 37 was being delayed indefinitely, he made no mention of any switching or other technology issues that were holding back the project."
That's because Daley is making it up as he goes.
"But Daley said he agreed with the delay 'because you cannot go with an old switch system. The technology has to be there.'"
He agreed with the delay?
Memo to reporters: If you can't get to the bottom of a boondoggle by deadline, you aren't required to publish spin just because officials spout it. It isn't pretty, but you could even go with the CTA chief and the mayor giving confusing, conflicting accounts as to how the decision to shut down yet another overbudget, oft-delayed project came about. Report what you know, not what officials tell you.
*
"I said to them you can't build a station without changing the technology," Daley said. "I told them they had to stop."
So . . . he didn't "urge" and he didn't "agree with." It's Daley's project: He started it, he spent the money for it, and he shut it down. He's accountable. Let's just be clear.
Beachwood, Baby!
* Check out our new music feature, I Shot the Band. Our opening foray features local buzz band Company of Thieves.
* We have another new feature we're calling Big in Japan, from Dan Simon, our new Tokyo bureau chief. His first dispatch about Kosuke Fukudome may surprise you.
* A final word on Top Chef
The Beachwood Tip Line: Scalloped.
Posted by Lou at 11:08 AM | Permalink
Love 'em or hate 'em, is there a manager-pitching coach combo in Major League Baseball half as good as Tony LaRussa and Dave Duncan? What they have done in St. Louis this year with a pitching staff of has-beens and never-weres absolutely defies belief. And every time you think, OK, now they'll finally start to fade away, they do something like come back from a crushing Friday loss (20-2) to knock off the previously scorching Phillies twice over the weekend. I'm running out of superlatives for the Cubs at this point and the boys in blue even supplied lovely, if redundant, storylines over the weekend with former Blue Jays Reed Johnson and Ted Lilly coming back to haunt their old team in successive games. But so far this year the Cardinals are an even better story. With the second win over Philadelphia, they moved to 13 games over .500. Heading into this week they have the second-best record (42-29) in the National League. And the Redbirds have done so despite a pitching staff that was as shaky as an earthquake going into the season and which has suffered through several big-time aftershocks. The Cardinals are paying former aces Chris Carpenter and Mark Mulder big bucks this year (a combined $17.5 million) but they haven't pitched an inning and may not the rest of the way. Carpenter's rehab suffered a setback recently as he experienced yet more soreness in his elbow. And Mulder (local guy alert - he graduated from south suburban prep athletic hotbed Thornwood) had some success in a recent rehab start and the Cards are starting to feel like he might be able to come back around the All-Star break. But he's had two shoulder surgeries since he last pitched effectively and just a week ago he was feeling discomfort in that same shoulder and thinking he might not make it back this year at all. The most impressive part of the LaRussa-Duncan stewardship of this staff is the way they seamlessly converted Adam Wainwright and Braden Looper from the bullpen to the rotation. All superstar reliever Wainwright (6-3 in 2008 with a 3.14 ERA, 62 strikeouts) did was close out the Cardinals' World Series title in 2006, but he started starting in 2007 and hasn't looked back. One small problem, though, he went on the disabled list about a week ago. But that was no problem because longtime reliever (also until 2007) Looper (8-5, 4.34) stepped right in and threw a complete game shutout his last time out. He did it the same night Ryan Dempster was throwing the Cubs' first complete game (but allowing two runs) in a year, knocking off an injury-weakened Atlanta Brave lineup. Another stellar St. Louis starter has been Kyle Lohse, who potentially cost himself more than $10 million in the off-season by refusing to re-sign with the Phillies. Philadelphia eventually withdrew its multi-year offer and it turned out no one was willing to sign Lohse to more than a one-year deal. But now it looks like everything will turn out alright for the veteran starter. At the end of last week his numbers were eight wins against only two losses and an ERA of 3.77. Did we mention by the way that the Cardinals survived a complete meltdown by closer Jason Isringhausen in the first month? Isringhausen has also been on the DL, but his trip there was good news for Cardinals fans. He blew six saves and lost five games while compiling a 8.00 ERA in the first six weeks of the season. Oh, and Albert Pujols suffered a scary calf injury (but should be out only two or three weeks) and went on the DL right before the Phillies series. But the Cards, led by guys like Skip Shumaker and Ryan Ludwick, just keep on winning. All of this is why the Cubs have the best record in the majors but still haven't pulled away (they led by 3.5 games heading into Monday) from their real rivals to the south. In a slightly related note, wasn't it just like baseball to have Philadelphia score a score of runs Friday, then manage only two in a tough 3-2 loss the next night against the Cardinals? Then a half-dozen tallies weren't enough as St. Louis prevailed 7-6 Sunday. It was a splendid smorgasbord of sports on Sunday, was it not? Starting with the Cubs at noon and the White Sox shortly thereafter (although they were particularly tough to watch over the weekend weren't they? They've had some crap games this summer but Saturday's loss had to be the worst yet and Sunday's game certainly didn't qualify as a delight). And yet there they still sit, a comfy 4.5 games in front of the Twins heading into this week. There were four different soccer games on the telly in the mid-afternoon (the Fire versus Dallas, a couple Euro 2008 preliminary pool contests and . . . ) capped off by Team USA crushing the hated Barbados Barbies 8-0 in their World Cup qualifying debut. U.S.A! U.S.A! Then it was time to take in a little golf. Nice putt, Tiger - and congratulations on your tie at the U.S. Open. I think it's nice the USGA has taken a cue from various youth sports leagues and decided it doesn't care if the tournament's final day ends with a couple competitors sharing the top spot. That sort of good sportsmanship teaches our kids some important lessons. What's that? There's an 18-hole playoff Monday? Then I guess I'll have to take this item in a slightly different direction: if organizers were trying to come up with the most anti-climactic way to wrap up a tournament, they could hardly do better than the U.S. Open model. And then we wrapped it up with the Celtics and Lakers from Los Angeles in the evening. The Celtics lost, necessitating a Game 6 in Boston on Tuesday. The good news is that we get another game's worth of at least occasional Jeff Van Gundy putdowns. The announcer's best work on Sunday took aim at noted Laker flopper Sasha Vujacic: "If you get thrown to the court by (comically old and skinny) Sam Cassell, you better get yourself a new weight program." It was funny at the time, I swear. *** P.S. I forgot to mention Todd Wellemeyer! LaRussa and Duncan have taken the at-best mediocre former Cub middle reliever off the scrap heap and turned him into a stud starter(7-2, 3.67 ERA). Ridiculous! - Jim Coffman appears in this space every Monday with the best sports wrap-up in the city. You can write to him personally! Please include a real name if you would like your comments to be considered for publication.
Posted by Lou at 08:58 AM | Permalink
At least for a young fan like me, everything before 2005 feels like forever ago in White Sox World. There are so many vivid images from that season that will forever be burned in any fan's mind. I think that's part of the reason the earlier portion of the decade seems like such a blur. Carlos Lee and Magglio Ordonez played for the Sox in 2004? Really? My memory starts after Torii Hunter plowed Jamie Burke. But then something crazy happened. The Sox signed Esteban Loaiza. In 2003, Loaiza possibly put together the best regular season of any White Sox starter ever. Yeah, 2003. That wasn't really that long ago. But when Loaiza trotted out of the bullpen against the Twins last week, it was clear this wasn't the same guy who won 21 games one season. The dude could barely crack 80 on the radar gun. Jordan faxing in "I'm back" this was not. So, with Loaiza in mind, here are some other athletes Chicagoans hope will never return. * Mark Prior: So much for those flawless mechanics, huh? * Cedric Benson: When your teammates deliberately attempt to injure you in practice, yeah, things probably aren't going to end well. * Cade McNown: Cade McNown hates children. True story. * Billy Koch: Clearly, this website was not started by a White Sox fan. * Jalen Rose: The Bulls traded two future All-Stars for this bum. Please Jalen, just stick to television. - Week in Review: I probably deserved this week's 2-5 record after arrogantly writing only 6-0 last week. Whatever. Also: interleague play is stupid. Week in Preview: Three games at Wrigley. Like anything else matters. The Missile Tracker: Billy Beane must really hate Latin American players. Just like all his peers, Ramirez swings at seemingly every pitch thrown his way. It's great to finally have a five-tool player like Ramirez on the Sox, but he has to hit to be effective. So far, he's doing that. In June, Ramirez is OPS'ing over 1.000. Fields on the Farm: No homers this week for Fields, who is hitting only .250 on the season. To get him back on track, why not trade Mike MacDougal to whatever team he faces next? Just an idea. This Week in Swisher: I enjoy this a lot more now that he is finally starting to hit. The greatest feature in sports blog history?: I say yes. Try to top me. At least it's better than Nickelback: Gordon Beckham, the shortstop the Sox selected eighth overall in last week's MLB draft, likes playing air drums to DragonForce songs. That's the kind of information I need on my scouting reports. Over/Under: The number of times I watched the final minute of the video above: +/- 5. Beachwood Sabermetrics: A complex algorithm performed by The White Sox Report staff using all historical data made available by Major League Baseball has determined these might be the most fun Sox-Cubs series' ever. The White Sox Report: Read 'em all. - Comments welcome. Please include a real name if want to be considered for publication. - Ricky O'Donnell is the proprietor of Tremendous Upside Potential , a contributor to the Sun-Times's Full Court Press and a lot of other things.
Posted by Lou at 08:36 AM | Permalink
The big issue this week is Alfonso Soriano's injury and him being out six weeks. Oh, and the Cubs went 5-1 for the week and are currently 20 games over .500 - yeah, that's not a typo, 20 games over .500. For anyone who thinks the Cubs are in trouble because of the Fonz going down for awhile, let me tell you this: Stop it. They will be fine. And Uncle Lou likes getting his hands dirty with line-up changes, so he might even prefer this. Sure, when Soriano is super-hot he can carry a team, but this team doesn't even need that now. They'll probably be better off changing things up. I mean, being 20 games over .500 is probably boring. Winning all the time has to be kind of bland after awhile. Imagine going to the park and having no idea what position and/or spot in the batting order you will have. That's got to be pretty fun, right? At least it's not boring and honestly Soriano was the most boring player in the line-up. Okay, he wasn't boring at the plate, and yeah, it was always a crap-shoot in the field on any fly ball so that wasn't boring, but he was boring in the sense that he always has to bat first. What a snoozefest at the lead-off position. And really, as a Cub fan we really need some excitement. Honestly, have you ever watched a Cub team that you knew would score like this team? It's like, when Reed Johnson hits a three-run homer in Toronto instead of going crazy I just go "Hey, I wonder if that means he's going to play center more once Soriano's back." And then I wonder what will happen if Edmonds keeps hitting. Even a tremendous outing by Jason Marquis seems like old hat now. We Cub fans need some excitement, and lineup changes might just be what the doctor ordered. I for one am really looking forward to it. - Week in Review: The Cubs went 5-1 this week, sweeping three at home against a Brave team short a few native Americans and taking two of three from the Blue Jays in Canada. Apparently the strip clubs in Toronto were not much of a distraction and the Cubs kept rolling. Week in Preview: The Cubs play in the Hall of Fame exhibition game in Cooperstown today, and then travel to Tampa to play a surprising Devil Ray team (they are still the Devil Rays to me even if they've officially dropped the Devil part from their name; after all, a deal with the Devil is forever). Then it's home for thre against the White Sox. So the team will start the week playing a game that doesn't count and end the week with games that will count too much. The Second Basemen Report: Mark DeRosa started five of six at second base this week with Mike Fontenot getting the other start. But second base fans be ready: Eric Patterson is back, and while he's apparently here to play some left field, well, that's just where Uncle Lou sticks guys when they aren't playing second base. You know, just like Hendry drew it up. In former second baseman news, Ryne Sandberg is the coach for the Cubs single-A team the Peoria Chiefs, who will play at Wrigley on July 29th. And for the record, a Peoria Chief is like a fire chief and not a Native American. Just sayin'. Native Americans are missed. Zam Bomb: Big Z is furious. Order new water coolers now.
SportsMonday
Beachwood Baseball:
***
The White Sox Report
The Cub Factor
Lost in translation: -Soriano-san injurio is Japanese for Alfonso who?
Sweet and Sour Lou: 75% sweet, 25% sour. Lou is up four points on the Sweet-O-Meter due to winning a series on the road and going back to Tampa this week where he used to manage. And like your real crazy drunk uncle, Lou likes visiting his old stomping grounds. He knows where to get Falstaff on sale.
Center Stage: Jim Edmonds started five of six games this week in center, with Reed Johnson getting the other start. But we see Ronnie Cedeno and Eric Patterson in the mix this week, because you can never have too many second basemen in your lineup.
The Cub Factor: Catch up with them all.
Beachwood Sabermetrics: A complex algorithm performed by the The Cub Factor staff using all historical data made available by Major League Baseball has determined that even the players are tired of pretending the Cubs-Sox series means anything.
Over/Under: The number of games Soriano's absence will cost the Cubs: +/- 0.
Mount Lou: Lou moves to status green due to actually winning on the road and not having to deal with defensive issues in the outfield. The outer crust of Mount Lou still looks the same but deep within his core bad defense anger magma will become very cool for the next five weeks. Don't expect any eruptions this week.
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Posted by Lou at 08:12 AM | Permalink
Big in Japan: Not Fukudome
Living in Japan is a bit of an adjustment, especially for a baseball fan. When I moved here, I knew ahead of time that baseball was the unofficial official national sport. What I was unprepared for, however, was the intense loyalty of Japanese fandom to their star players.
If you have never been to Tokyo, a good way to picture it is to imagine being inside a giant pinball machine constantly playing the theme song from Super Mario Brothers 3. Trains, crowds, blinking lights, everyone chattering in a language you can't understand; it's a lot to absorb.
Knowing this, a friend mercifully took me out for dinner and drinks to ease the strain.
We went to a Japanese izakaya, which is a traditional Japanese drinking establishment marked by a red lantern next to the door. Although it was smoky and noisy, I felt relaxed.
We were unwinding over a plate of fried fish fins and tall Sapporos, when we were approached by a wobbly elderly gentleman.
The man, woozy from sake, pointed to my Cubby hat and said, "Cubs desu ne? (the Cubs eh?)"
Surprised, I replied in broken Japanese, "Hai, Cubs desu. Ichiban cremu desu (Yes, the Cubs. They are the number one team)" then, "Fukudome!"
His reply came in slurred English, "Fokodome OK . . . Ichiro number one!"
Then he laughed, bared his crooked and blackened teeth in a drunken smile and stumbled out of the restaurant.
I had just come from Chicago only a few days earlier, and was swept up in the Fukudome-mania that now firmly grips Cub fans. I had just been to a game where he was 3-for-3, scored twice and had a few RBIs.
After asking around, however, I discovered something surprising: Kosuke Fukudome was actually considered a mere minor star in Japan. In fact, Fukodome was a bit of a pariah because as an 18-year-old prospect he refused to play for his hometown team, the now defunct Osaka Kentetsu Buffaloes, and instead insisted that he play for one of the 'big three' Japanese teams: The Yomiuri Giants (Tokyo), the Chunichi Dragons (Nagoya) or the Hanshin Tigers (Nishinomiya).
So Fukudome may be the next big thing in Chi-town, but here in Tokyo, he is yesterday's news.
Despite hearing this, I was still dumbfounded by the izakaya confrontation. So I decided to ask the expert. Luckily, in my job, I have an expert built in. Jim Allen is an American expat fluent in Japanese and in Japanese baseball. He's been covering the Japanese leagues for the Daily Yomiuri (a Tokyo English language daily) for the past nine years.
I asked him why he thought Fukudome wasn't so "big in Japan." He told me that it was a combination of personality, attitude and location.
"Fukudome wasn't an instant star in Japan. This was partly because he started out playing shortstop and third base. He dropped a ton of balls, so he initially had the reputation of being a clumsy player," Allen said.
Fukudome also stayed away from the media and, according to Allen, Japanese baseball writers often avoided him because he didn't provide good sound bites.
Because of this, Allen said, "Fukudome didn't stand out in Japan. Yes, he was a great player with a great work ethic, but because of where his team played, and his reputation for being quiet, he played in the background for years."
Needless to say, he is not in the background in Chicago. He is different, but different is good. Fukudome also is at the top of his game.
It is interesting how being different can make you popular depending on location. This led me to my final question to Allen, which I asked from a sociological perspective rather than the perspective of a Cub fan:
Why did this drunken guy verbally abuse me?
His answer: "Because he could. You stood out."
Now I (sort of) how Fukudome feels in Chicago.
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With this, Dan Simon kicks off the first of his dispatches as a Chicagoan in the Far East, a little something we call Big in Japan.
That's the author in the right. On the left, his neighbor - not the guy who taunted him.
Posted by Lou at 07:27 AM | Permalink
I Shot the Band: Company of Thieves
Today we introduce a new feature for The Beachwood Reporter's all-but invaluable music page. We call it "I Shot the Band." In this groovy new feature, we're aiming to create a Chicago music fan's guide to the seemingly unending stream of local band videos available on YouTube.
Now, we're not talking about the slick, professionally made kinds of videos done by paid filmmakers who obviously one day hope to be directing $50 million slasher movies. You can see those anywhere. Nah, what we're talking about here is tracking down, sorting out and ultimately holding up for praise or ridicule the bajillion gigabits-worth of amateur works produced by people who aren't slinging a camera for the money, or for professional advancement, but for the sheer devotion to the bands they're filming.
Their works are labors of love, to be sure, so it probably wouldn't be fair to just totally lambaste them because they're out of focus or have crappy sound or something. After all, some of these vids are shot on the sly . . . I will give points for such chutzpah. But because their makers are slapping them up there on YouTube for everyone to see, we feel we have the right to apply a little critiquing action to them. After all, there are thousands of these band videos to choose from . . . there needs to be some kind of standards by which to sort them all out. I have volunteered to pore through these videos so you don't have to. You can thank me later.
I'm going to concentrate on Chicago-area bands to begin with, mainly because I also see "I Shot the Band" as a way to give the local music scene some exposure. It may expand beyond that . . . probably depending on how long I can stand watching video after video of middle-aged white guys dressing up like the Blues Brothers and jumping around to some half-assed Elmore James cover. I promise I'll weed that kind of shit out.
No, I really promise.
Anyway, on with the first "I Shot the Band," starring the Chicago buzz band Company of Thieves.
*
Band: Company of Thieves
Song: "Hey Ya" (cover of OutKast song)
Date Added: June 12, 2008
Shooter: Bassguitar227
Locale: Welles Park
Video quality: Poor
Sound quality: Good
Creativity: Not much. Static camera.
Difficulty: None. It was shot in a park at free concert.
Overall Beachwood Shaky-Cam Rating: 6 (out of 10)
Comments: This is a pretty good document of the soaring voice possessed by Genevieve Schatz of Company of Thieves, and also features Mark Walloch accompanying her on acoustic guitar at what is apparently the Welles Park Series of free acoustic shows put on by Metro. Schatz is quite something. Her vocals cut right through the ambient noise on this video and come through very nicely.
Company of Thieves is becoming probably the most famous unsigned band in the city. They have been written up by RedEye and were the only unsigned band to play at the Yahoo!/Billboard live music showcase in New York last October. They recently signed a management contract with Chicago-based Second Wave Music and played two slots at this year's South By Southwest. Things seem to be coming pretty fast for these guys.
The video's highlight, besides the pair belting out a rather heartfelt cover of OutKast's "Hey Ya," are the little kids running around in front of the park stage and having a tremendous time. The kids' mom is also constantly in the frame. There's a skateboarder who rolls by a couple times. All in all, Bassguitar227 probably could have done a lot more for us if she could have just moved in a couple steps, given that it was clear sailing all the way to the gazebo stage. But still, the sound is surprisingly good, and that's a big thing.
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Company of Thieves
Posted by Don at 12:22 AM | Permalink
June 14, 2008
The Weekend Desk Report
We'd rather not watch the key stories this weekend, but Whitey's gonna make us.
Market Update
Thanks in large part to significant gains in Gas Costs and Inflation, Doomsday futures are once again through the roof.
Anagram of the Week
SLOW ZONE ELIMINATION = EL MAN WILT IN NOISE ZOO
Back to Black Market
Officials' fears concerning a nuclear cooperation agreement between the United States and Russia have been heightened. We can now confirm what many have long suspected: Russia covertly supports the international underworld.
Bid to Nowhere
For anyone wondering just how corrupt and pork-laden Chicago's 2016 Olympic bid is, it appears we've already progressed to Bridge-to-Nowhere status.
As the World Turbines
In connection with the above item, the Weekend Desk sports book is pleased to announce the following odds on what will be powered by the Eco-Bridge wind turbines:
Impeachment Memos: 4/5
Chicago Children's Museum: 3/1
Ron Huberman, 20/1
Curbside Recycling: 50/1
Cruising Altitude
Finally this week, memo to Dr. Drew: duh.
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Also for your weekend pleasure:
* The Five Dumbest Ideas of the Week
* The Papers and Weekend Desk archive
* The Beachwood on MySpace!
* The Beachwood on YouTube!
* The Beachwood on Flickr!
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Coming Monday:
* SportsMonday!
* The Cub Factor!
* The White Sox Report!
* A dispatch from our new Japanese bureau!
* I Shot The Band: A new music feature you are going to love!
* Citizen Kate: A new political feature you are going to love!
* Disheartened: Our comics correspondent returns!
* Our favorite local chefs' final comments on the Top Chef finale!
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Coming next week:
* Any of the above things that didn't make it in Monday!
* More of the favorite features you already love!
Posted by Natasha at 08:43 AM | Permalink
The Five Dumbest Ideas Of The Week
1. Reconciling with the ex-husband who beat you and exposed you to Hepatitis C: Pamela Anderson, noted Sunday School teacher and poker hustler.
2. Writing a memo urging impeachment proceedings against Gov. Rod Blagojevich while instructing recipients to lie about receiving the memo: Speaker of the House Michael Madigan.
3. Posting really creepy porn on a not-so-secret website while presiding over a pornography trial: Federal Appeals Court Chief Judge Alex Kozinski.
4. Urging Barack Obama to give a speech "admitting using race for political expediency": Fox TV panelist and putative liberal Juan Williams.
5. Under-seasoning the pork belly entree and admitting to choking under pressure : Top Chef finalist, molecular gastronomist and faux-hawk wearer Richard Blais.
Posted by Lou at 07:13 AM | Permalink
June 13, 2008
The [Friday] Papers
1. I thought "Nobody Puts Baby In A Corner" was pretty good.
2. "A document filed in March with the Securities and Exchange Commission shows that Smith will exit Tribune Co. with severance and other benefits of $4.7 million and a payment of $2.1 million to settle up his ownership stake in the privatized Tribune Co," the Tribune reports.
"The company will also provide a 'gross-up' benefit estimated in the document at $2.6 million to cover any extra taxes Smith might incur as a result of the severance deal."
The "gross-up" thing is too easy, right?
3. "Tribune Co. boss Sam Zell has leased the 23rd floor of the Tribune Tower, the company's former executive suite, to a new investment firm headed by his sister, Leah Zell Wanger," Crain's reports.
How will he measure her productivity?
4. "'I didn't even know who I faced,' Eyre said earlier this week. 'By the time I got to the mound, Geo was talking to [Aramis Ramirez] when I go, 'Hey, who are we facing here?' He goes, '[Ruben] Gotay.' But it wasn't Gotay. He came up the next inning. I don't know who I faced. I wasn't paying attention. I was trying to make sure I got an out."
"The mystery man was Gregor Blanco, who struck out in what Piniella called the game's key moment.
"Eyre ran his consecutive scoreless appearance streak to 31 games, tying Ryan Dempster's franchise record. Soto followed up with a three-run homer to cap a four-run eighth that helped the Cubs pull away and send Atlanta to a 7-22 road record."
I guess it works for Eyre, but geez, can you pay attention to who you're pitching to? You're gonna get the advance scouts fired.
5. "The proposed 51-mile Juneau Access Road would provide something this remote capital city has never had: an overland route to the rest of North America. No longer would people have to take a ferry or a flight," the New York Times reports.
"Yet beyond the political and environmental fight that will determine whether the nearly $400 million road will ever be built, there is a central question: What would the improved access change the most, Juneau or outsiders' perceptions of it?
"'There is an insularity here,' Mayor Bruce Botelho said, 'that I think is a net positive.'"
Or . . . as our very own Tim Inklebarger once wrote in his I Lived In Alaska series:
"You can only get there by boat or plane and both are expensive propositions. For someone like me living on a journalist's pay, weekend shopping trips and quick visits to Anchorage are out of the question. What happens in Juneau literally stays in Juneau."
6. The American press makes me think of a gigantic, supermodern fish cannery, a hundred floors high, capitalized at eleven billion dollars, and with tens of thousands of workers standing ready at the canning machines, but relying for its raw material on an inadequate number of handline fishermen in leaky rowboats," A.J. Liebling once wrote.
"The owner of the fishery . . . undermans his boats not because he doesn't want them to catch fish, but because he hopes the fish will jump into the boats unassisted, the cost of nets being what it is."
7. "In the end, says the Chicago Reader's Alison True, none of us knows exactly where it's all going: 'But it doesn't have to be a bad place. In print there was this beautiful melding of journalism with high purpose and material - like movie listings and classifieds - that readers couldn't live without. It didn't matter that only 6 percent of readers read the cover story. It provided the gravitas. Readers could trust our reviews and music listings because they saw our commitment. We need to rediscover that formula - to remember why we got into this, and keep proving to readers that we care about our city.'"
Um, maybe the fact that only 6 percent of your readers read the cover story meant that most of your cover stories sucked - except the ones by the reporters you fired. It was their stories that provided the gravitas.
8. "The bill passed the House by a 114-0 vote, on the heels of a 56-0 vote earlier in May by the Senate.
"'There's a lot more that needs to be done,' Blagojevich spokeswoman Rebecca Rausch said."
The governor wants to build more consensus.
9. "Former House Speaker J. Dennis Hastert (R-Ill.) has agreed to join the lobbying law firm Dickstein Shapiro as a senior adviser," the Washington Post reported.
"At Dickstein, Hastert "will not be lobbying; he will be providing strategic counseling to our clients," a spokeswoman for the firm said.
For example, he will advise clients to begin referring to their lobbyists as strategic counselors.
10. Daley's Superstation.
11. Recent incidents at Blommer's Chocolate Co. remind us of this Beachwood examination.
12. Gov. Rod Blagojevich finally declared six counties swamped with flooding a disaster area. One was downstate and the other five were in his brain.
13. "I suggest moving Grant Park," my brother writes, "maybe that will solve the museum issue."
14. Tim Willette writes: Did you read Scalia's dissent in the Guantanamo case today? Harsh words, yet strangely familiar:
"The Nation will live to regret what the Court has done today. See, e.g., U.S. v. Jessep, 38 M.J. 410, 417 (N.M.C.M.R. 1993). ('You fuckin' people. You have no idea how to defend a nation. All you did was weaken a country today . . . That's all you did. You put people's lives in danger. Sweet dreams, son.'). I dissent."
15. At the risk of blogrolling in our time . . .
16. "Obama's supporters don't know exactly what Obama believes in, but they seem not to care. He's on the way up and out of the wetlands of Chicago politics, reborn unto his national and mythic reform narrative, discovered by joyous national media and embraced, much as the iconic child was discovered and embraced when found in the reed basket floating on the River Potomac."
17. Even the best misfire from time to time. Today it's Roger Ebert: "But I feel today a general decrease in public civility."
Yes, and it's all coming from the Obama campaign.
But seriously, will newspapers ever tire of their tropes?
I mean, less civility than when? When we had separate drinking fountains for black people? When gays were still stuffed in closets? Is it gas station attendants who clean your windshield that we miss? Or is this about people on airplanes wearing sweatpants again?
18. "I have to admit the Obama campaign makes it a bit harder to think about leaving, but maybe he or John McCain will need a press secretary."
By which he means maybe Obama.
*
Of course, he'll have to line up behind Mary Mitchell and Eric Zorn.
19. "Last month, in one outing, Jill Cataldo bought 10 items that, with coupons, came up to negative 30 cents. Because Jewel doesn't pay you to buy food, she purchased gum for 34 cents, and paid a grocery bill of 22 cents (18 cents of that was sales tax)."
20. Dream vacation in the Dells.
The Beachwood Tip Line: Tip line of foam.
Posted by Lou at 07:33 AM | Permalink
Song of the Moment: Dream Vacation
Artist: Gear Daddies
Album Title: Can't Have Nothin' Nice
Release Date: 9/13/1994
Length: 02:36
You can hear a brief sound clip here.
Lyrics:
Been saving now for over a year
Let's pack the kids get outta here
We'll leave behind our troubles for a week
We'll borrow the pop-up from Phyllis and Steve
Just tell the boss I gotta leave
Be the best week of our lives as I can tell
We'll take our dream vacation in the Dells
We'll see the Robot World and the watershow
Go anywhere you wanna go
Circus World Museum in Baraboo
We'll play mini-golf at the Jellystone
And we'll finally see that House of Foam
And if the kids wanna buy a t-shirt what the hell
It's our dream vacation in the Dells
And at night when the kids is all asleep
Then off to the lounge for a nightcap we can sneak
I know our lives they ain't the stuff of dreams
But for one full week we can live like kings and queens
So let's board the dogs lock the door
We'll roll down Interstate 94
Be the best week of our lives I can tell
We'll take our dream vacation in the Dells
And at night when the kids is all asleep
Then off to the lounge for a nightcap we can sneak
I know our lives they ain't the stuff of dreams
But for one full week we can live like kings and queens
So let's board the dogs lock the door
We'll roll down Interstate 94
Be the best week of our lives as I can tell
We'll take our dream vacation in the Dells
Gonna take our dream vacation in the Dells
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Previously in Song of the Moment:
* Iron Man
* The Story of Bo Diddley
* Teach Your Children
Posted by Lou at 07:15 AM | Permalink
What I Watched Last Night
I don't think I have to remind readers how much I detest My Boys - okay, maybe I do, see the Kill Me Now Again item - but it's back and it's as bad as ever. And no, I'm not just thrilled to hear our teeny tiny burg mentioned on, gadzooks, TV! Oh my God, they mentioned the Billy Goat!
Last night's season debut was a typical mish-mash of underdeveloped story lines (PJ's here-and-gone-again attraction to Bobby; what happens when a bar regular sleeps with, in the show's words, a cocktail waitress, though who would use such a term at a bar like - talk about trying too hard - "Crowley's"?); underdrawn characters (can these guys get any more single-dimensional?), stale dialogue ("Enquiring minds want to know!") and inane overexertion (er, um, a Chicago radio jock who wants to play "alternative" music and wears a different band's t-shirt in every scene? Please.)
Believe me, the sneak preview is far better than the actual show. I mean, the sneak preview isn't bad. But trust me, it goes very far downhill from there.
Paging the Children's Museum!
Doesn't the first user comment here sound a little, you know, astroturfy? I mean, really. And there are lots more!
On the other hand, the third commenter says: "This show sucks to holy hell."
Celebracadabra
The depressing career (see the bottom) of C. Thomas "Ponyboy" Howell reached another milestone last night when the erstwhile child actor won the first season of Celebracadabra.
He does have a stage presence and pulled off a decent routine, but when you shake yourself out of it and realize what you're watching, depression sets in again.
K-Griff
I was sort of excited to watch Bravo's A-List Awards because I'm a Kathy Griffin fan, but I couldn't exactly figure out what the hell they were; the nominees were the Most Boring Nominees Ever.
"It was apparent they had forgotten the one key ingredient: celebrities," writes Lindsay Mannering at Huffington Post.
I bailed after K-Griff made fun of Tila Tequila. It was good, but fish in a barrel.
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See what else we've been watching. Submissions welcome.
Posted by Lou at 05:31 AM | Permalink
Reviewing the Reviews
Catching up.
Baggage Fee
"Dear American Airlines, Jonathan Miles's fine first novel, takes the form of a letter to the titular air carrier, which has stranded Benjamin R. Ford, the book's middle-aged protagonist, in O'Hare Airport on the way to his estranged daughter's wedding," Richard Russo writes in the New York Times. "One doesn't take this premise literally, of course. As Bennie waits to be put on another flight, he has a lot of time on his hands, enough to miss first the rehearsal dinner and then the 'wedding' itself (quotation marks courtesy of Benjamin, who's just found out that his daughter is marrying a woman), but not enough to write a novel. The premise works though, because, as anyone who's ever been stalled in an airport knows, time crawls."
"Indeed, airport time goes so slowly in the 'purgatory' of O'Hare that there's plenty left over for Benjamin, a former poet who now works as a translator, to read and translate large sections of a Polish novel, as well as to digress into an impressive array of cultural issues, large and small. Bennie's digressions don't all advance the story, but they're great fun and serve an important purpose by lightening the narrative load."
Dear American Airlines
Just for fun.
Shirts and Skins
"For thirteen centuries, between 1200 B.C. and the second century A.D., the Jews lived in, and often ruled, the land of Israel," David Remnick writes in The New Yorker. "The population was clustered mainly in Judaea, Samaria, and Galilee. The Jews' dominion was long but not eternal. The Romans invaded and, after suppressing revolts in A.D. 66-73 and 132-135, killed or expelled much of the Jewish population and renamed the land Palaestina, for the Philistines who had lived along the southern seacoast. After the conquest, some Jews stayed behind, and the faith of the Hebrews remained a religio licita, a tolerated religion, throughout the Roman Empire.
"[Author Benny] Morris revealed that in forty-nine of these villages the indigenous Arabs were expelled by the Haganah and other Jewish military forces; in sixty-two villages, the Arabs fled out of fear, having heard rumors of attacks and even massacres; in six, the villagers left at the instruction of Palestinian local leaders. The refugees, who probably expected to return to their homes in a matter of weeks or months, went to Gaza and the West Bank, and also to surrounding Arab countries - Lebanon, Jordan, Egypt, and Syria - where, to this day, they have never been fully absorbed.
"Morris's aim was not simply to invert the standard Zionist narrative. He provided a stark picture of the anti-Semitism that infected the Arab leadership, including the influential mufti of Jerusalem, Haj Muhammad Amin al-Husseini, who refused any compromise with the Zionists and, in the forties, promoted anti-Jewish propaganda from Berlin and recruited Bosnian Muslims for the S.S. Morris quoted the many leaders among the Palestinians and the Arab countries who vowed to eliminate the nascent state of Israel and force the European Jewish arrivals back to where they came from. But he also wrote at length about acts of wartime cruelty committed by the Jewish victors against the Palestinians."
*
"But, just as the Arab world's rejection of the 1947 partition plan pushed Israeli leaders toward an even harsher view of their adversaries, Yasir Arafat's rejection of the peace proposals proffered by Ehud Barak in 2000 at Camp David and at Taba, Egypt, coupled with the second intifada, which followed, disillusioned Benny Morris to the point of embitterment."
*
Strange Bookfellows
The top five authors on a recent New York Times Nonfiction Best Sellers list.
1. Barbara Walters
2. Fareed Zakaria
3. Chelsea Handler
4. Augusten Burroughs
5. Ron Paul
Pack Man
The New York Times recently asked various authors to recommend reading to the presidential candidates. The New Yorker's formerly pro-war George Packer revealed a lot about himself and the press corps by assigning John McCain to read The Forever War, by Dexter Filkins of the New York Times.
"[W]ritten not by a defeatist but by a reporter whose every romantic notion of Iraq and war was obliterated by sustained contact with experience."
So . . . someone opposed to the war or in the least an early observer of its folly is a "defeatist"? And what business is it of a reporter to have "romantic notions" about Iraq and war?
Finally, McCain is the one who famously says that only fools or frauds romanticize war. I'm sure McCain could gain insight from Filkins' book, but he doesn't need a lecture from George Packer.
God Bless America
Not only can it happen here, it did. Again.
Posted by Lou at 04:28 AM | Permalink
Termites Take A Bite Out Of Budget
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Newsandexperts.com
Glendora, CA - Drywood termite swarming season is about to begin and homeowners everywhere are preparing to open their wallets to protect their houses from structural damage.
"I have seen termite swarm eruptions in grocery store parking lots, the middle of a huge lawn and of course in nearly 18,000 homes," says Michael Allen, owner of Century Termite Control and author of the new book Top Secrets of the Termite Industry; What Termite Companies Don't Want You to Know, That You Should Know.
The cost of tenting an American home to get rid of termites ranges from $1,300 to over $3,000 depending on the size of the home and the pest control company you choose. Allen says if homeowners know what signs to look for they shouldn't have to pay a penny to professionals.
"These chemical companies are multi-million dollar machines. They push their products to pest control companies which are supposed to push it to homeowners. The price keeps going up and there is just no reason for it. Termite companies aren't helping homeowners do anything they can't do by themselves."
On his website, www.centurytermitesolutions.com, Allen has a list of the top 10 things you need to know about protecting your home from termites. Here are four of them:
1. Stop the Pheromones and You've Stopped the Termites. All termites line the tunnels they dig with pheromones, a scent that the bugs follow to get to and from your home. It's a way of communicating to the other termites to follow the scent and find food. "All you need to do is break that line of pheromones with store-bought orange oil or a home-made mixture and the termites won't know how to get to your house anymore. It will be as if they've lost the map and put up an electric fence."
2. The North Side Of Your Home Is Especially Vulnerable. Because the north side of your home gets the least amount of sun, more moisture can accumulate in the wood (cellulose), softening it up for the termites to eat. Try to keep the north side as dry as possible by turning away sprinklers and trimming back trees and overgrown vegetation that are blocking the sun. Other than swarming these insects never leave the infected wood for water. They rely only on the trapped moisture in the cellulose for a complete life cycle.
3. Decorative Finishes Create Easy Access Points For Termites. Termites can enter where the brick or decorative finish material touches the ground. They crawl up between the gaps to get to the wood. This happens at the mudsill line. Get familiar with and measure your home's mudsill line.
4. Bait Stations Lead Termites to Your Home. Many unscrupulous pest control companies recommend putting bait stations in your home. But bait stations don't work. The smell from the bait attracts termites and encourages them to build underground roads and highways close to your home. While some may take the bait and die most of the insects will never get as far as the queen. There are millions of termites in an infected home. Killing even thousands a day will not make a dent. The remaining termites will just wind up feasting on what's close to the bait station - your home. Any pest control company that wants to put a bait station in your house is not as interested in solving your termite problem as they are in forcing you to be a return customer.
"You can pay the pest control guys several thousand dollars," says Allen, "or you can put in a little elbow grease to get rid of the pests by yourself and keep those few thousand dollars in your own bank account!"
*
About Michael Allen
Michael Allen has owned a termite company in Southern California for 19 years. He began working in pest control straight after high school, attended the Advanced Institute of Pest Technology and is a licensed Master Graduate. Allen is originally from the suburbs of Chicago, but has now lived in Southern California for 21 years with his wife, Jeni, and his 15-year-old daughter.
Posted by Lou at 12:05 AM | Permalink
June 12, 2008
The [Thursday] Papers
John Kass calls him Richard Shortshanks today, but I think I'll start calling him Mayor Hee-Haw. To wit (via video from Chicago Tonight last night):
"That wasn't the vote count we had coming in today," Ald. Brendan Reilly said. "There was a lot of deal-making and arm-twisting going on."
REPORTER: Was there a lot of horse-trading?
DALEY: "Reilly did a good job, he did a lot of horse-trading . . . No horse-trading, no hee-haw. Heh heh heh. This is bigger than you and I. This is about your children."
UNASKED: Do you deny, then, that you offered any benefits to aldermen in exchange for their vote?
UNASKED: If the museum would locate somewhere else, would that somehow not be about the children?
UNASKED: Please answer the question.
UNASKED: Are you a bald-faced liar?
LEAD I DIDN'T SEE IN THE PAPER TODAY: "Mayor Richard M. Daley refused to acknowledge Wednesday that he traded future ward projects in exchange for votes in favor of the Children's Museum's proposed move to Grant Park. Nor would the mayor say how much those favors will cost taxpayers."
BECAUSE: "Three aldermen told the Tribune on the condition of anonymity that top administration officials had promised amenities for their wards ranging from schools and parks to taxpayer subsidies for development projects."
Change Barack Obama believes in.
"One of the aldermen said administration officials lobbied council members as late as Tuesday to ensure as big a margin of victory as possible."
ASSIGNMENT DESK: Put every alderman on record and make them confirm or deny that they were offered benefits in exchange for their vote, and then ask what those benefits were.
BECAUSE: Daley's promises just tacked another few million dollars onto the cost of this boondoggle.
Worst Mom In Chicago
Actually, I don't know if Jennifer Farrington is a mother, but she certainly isn't fit to lead a children's museum.
Design Deceit
Asked when construction of the new museum would begin - barring a court injunction - Farrington said: "There's still many steps of the design . . . I really can't comment on the timeline right now."
Aha.
Um, if the design isn't finished, what the hell did we just vote on?
"One of the legitimate concerns is that nobody trusts the mayor to stick with the design plans because he has proved himself unreliable on such matters in the past," Mark Brown writes. "If he really prefers some sort of above-ground component to the museum, he'll just change the plans later. The museum opponents are convinced of that, and seeing how the mayor handled Millennium Park, you can understand why."
Farrington said the museum still has to develop exhibits for the new museum. And, um, raise more money.
"[Farrington] said the museum has raised $40 million and needs an additional $60 million."
After all, it will be expensive coming up with the real design.
Walter's World
"A lot of us feel like, 'Why in the hell are we in the middle of this argument?" said Walter Burnett (27th).
Um, because you're on the city council?
Ed's World
"There's violence all over this city, and we're fighting over a children's museum," said Ald. Ed Smith (28th).
It's funny how aldermen always make a comparison like this when something controversial comes before the council, but not when they go about the kind of business that takes up most of their time.
Smith also said: "If you don't have children, you don't need a museum."
Um . . . and if you don't have children, you don't need schools?
No, wait, I've got it: And if you don't live in the 28th Ward, you don't need Ed Smith!
Aldermania
The Tribune editorial page has a nice roundup of other aldermanic inanities uttered yesterday.
Connect The Dots, People
A lot of folks have invoked the memory of Meigs Field when it comes to the Children's Museum - that one morning we'll wake up and Grant Park will have been bulldozed without prior notice.
But this fight is more reminiscent of Soldier Field - a monstrous mistake that nearly everybody seems to recognize except the mayor, in league with private interests.
The truth about our "can-do" mayor (please!) is that one thing he most definitely cannot do is big projects; they always end in disaster, from those that get built (Soldier Field, O'Hare expansion, and, in my book, CHA transformation and Millennium Park . . . not to mention heat waves, recycling and community policing) to those that don't (the Lake Calumet airport, the Circulator, the downtown casino).
Now comes yet another preview of what we're in for: "CTA Hub In Block 37 Hits Skids."
"Faced with runaway costs, the CTA and City Hall slammed the emergency brakes Wednesday on ambitious plans to build a "super station" in downtown's Block 37 to speed express trains to both Chicago's airports.
"A combined $213 million has been spent on the project, yet there is not much more than a massive hole in the ground to show for it.
"At least an additional $100 million would be needed to complete the subterranean station, the CTA estimated."
This is a boondoggle of the first magnitude.
"CTA President Ron Huberman disclosed Wednesday that the agency was looking at cost overruns well in excess of $100 million to complete the station and a connector tunnel linking the State Street and Dearborn Street subways."
$100 million!
I'll take a closer look at this over at Division Street today.
But before you go over there . . .
Today's Beachwood
. . . is chock full of goodies. So take a look around. Really!
The Beachwood Tip Line: For the children.
Posted by Lou at 10:52 AM | Permalink
Song of the Moment: Teach Your Children
This one goes out to Mayor Richard M. Daley and the Chicago City Council. You might want to sing it to these lyrics, though.
Released: 1970
Album: Deja Vu
Length: 2:53
- "Graham Nash wrote this. The lyrics deal with the often difficult relationship he had with his father, who spent time in prison."
- "Jerry Garcia performs the pedal steel guitar part of this track. He had been playing steel guitar for only a short period of time. Garcia played on this album in exchange for harmony lessons for the Grateful Dead, who were at the time recording their acoustic albums Workingman's Dead and American Beauty. "
- "Graham Nash (from the liner notes of their 1991 boxed set): 'The idea is that you write something so personal that every single person on the planet can relate to it. Once it's there on vinyl it unfolds, outwards, so that it applies to almost any situation. Teach started out as a slightly funky English Folk song but Stephen (Stills) put a country beat to it and turned it into a hit record."
With Springsteen, Petty
And Neil Young, who did not play on the original. And, unfortunately, Robin Williams making a mockery of it all. Maybe he's playing the part of Jennifer Farrington.
-
Previously in Song of the Moment:
* Iron Man
* The Story of Bo Diddley
Posted by Lou at 07:51 AM | Permalink
TV Notes: Top Chef, Shamwow, Celebrity Rehab
Well, that was a great finale. Let's re-live the drama. Here's how I saw it from the judges table.
First Course: Stephanie won. Lisa second. Richard third.
Second Course: Lisa won the second round. Stephanie and Richard tied for last. Richard has to know right now that he blew it. Stick a liquid nitrogen . . . thingie . . . in him, he's done!
Third Course: Stephanie won this round. Lisa took a step back. Richard is totally losing.
Fourth Course: Richard did better here, but he did a variation of a dessert he's done before in this competition. Lisa did well here. Stephanie not so much.
Oh my god, Lisa won.
No, Stephanie won two rounds. But she was last in two rounds.
Lisa was second twice and first twice. Did she sneak in? I'm scared.
Richard: "I feel like I choked a little bit." And you just did again by saying that!
You have to count past performance for something, don't you? It has to be Stephanie, but Lisa won this round!
It's really a tie. But the lamb and the snapper. Stephanie.
Lisa's right: She won the first and third, Stephanie won the second and fourth. There is consensus!
Wow! Suspense!
They have to give it to Stephanie, don't they?
I think Lisa finally won a round, but there's no way she's the best. Is this just who won this round, or who has been the best over the course of the season?
God, I'm hungry. How should I prepare my ramen?
Worthless viewer poll: Only four percent choose Lisa. Stephanie gets 60 percent.
Padma: The decision comes down to who prepared the meal we want to go back and have again.
That's Lisa's soup! They all said so!
The winner: Stephanie! Wow! The nut thing?
Wow. Richard blew it, big-time! He has to live with it! Lisa really made a run for it. Stephanie was the steadiest of competitors, and while she almost choked it away, she was able to surprise the judge enough to become . . . Top Chef! From Bucktown! I never heard of that place!
I could really go for a Tomahawk Chop.
*
Though Stephanie Izard and Scylla are new to me, they aren't to foodies. Scroll down to the Chicago magazine spread of "Who's Next: Eight people who will be Running Chicago's top kitchens of the future " from November 2006; Stephanie is No. 1.
*
Inside the deliberations with Ted Allen.
*
Q&A with Stephanie from the BravoTV people.
*
They should put Kathy Griffin at the judge's table. On every reality show.
Shamwow!
I mean, really. This guy is good.
You following me, cameraman?
No other towel's gonna do that!
Celebrity Rehab
It's coming back, and we couldn't be more excited. Do it, Dennis, do it!
Oh wait, here's the final cast. Rodney King?
Bonus: The Hills!
By the way, Lauren kicked Audrina out of the house.
-
Comments - and contributions - welcome. Please include a real name if you wish to be considered for publication.
Posted by Lou at 06:22 AM | Permalink
The Solitary War
Heraldo Muñoz, the ambassador-permanent representative of Chile to the United Nations, is in town today to discuss his new book, A Solitary War: A Diplomat's Chronicle of the Iraq War and Its Lessons, at an event with the Board of the Chicago Council on Global Affairs. Muñoz is the former president of the UN Security Council and chairman of the Al Qaida and Taliban Sanctions Committee. Here is the introduction to Solitary War.
*
On Sunday, January 30, 2005, an upbeat President George W. Bush spoke from the Cross Hall of the White House to congratulate the Iraqi people on their successful election of delegates to a National Assembly. The election had signified the launch of an unprecedented democratic process in the country. The Iraqis, defying terrorist threats that had created an atmosphere of insecurity, had gone to the polls in massive numbers to exercise their sovereign right to vote.
During his speech, President Bush specifically thanked the United Nations, an organization that he described as having provided "important assistance in the election process." Months later, in September 2005, at a packed UN General Assembly meeting attended by more than 150 world leaders, President Bush thanked the UN once more for having "played a vital role in the success of the January elections" in Iraq, and for supporting the drafting of a new constitution. He then requested that the United Nations "continue to stand by the Iraqi people as they complete the journey to a fully constitutional government."
By contrast, about three years before, in October 2002, Bush had warned the UN that failure to act against the Saddam Hussein regime would lead the organization "to betray its founding and prove irrelevant to the problems of our time." And in the run-up to the invasion, on March 17, 2003, Bush had severely criticized the UN Security Council for not "living up to its responsibilities."
These disparities in the American stance toward the UN were due to the late recognition that the UN was the only legitimate institution able to broker a viable alternative to permanent military occupation so that the United States could begin disengaging, at least politically, from Iraq. The Bush administration's plans for a transition to an interim Iraqi government had been soundly rejected by the Iraqis in 2003. A key player in the process, the Grand Ayatollah Ali al-Husseini al-Sistani, had even refused to meet with any American official! So, at the request of the United States, the United Nations stepped in to consult with all concerned parties and develop a solution to hand sovereignty back to an interim government, one that was chosen largely by UN envoy Lakhdar Brahimi. This set in motion an unprecedented democratic transition process, which completed its first key stage in the January 30, 2005 elections, followed by the approval of the new constitution in October 2005.
In November 2005, UN secretary general Kofi Annan made his first visit to Iraq since the invasion. One newspaper reported that the United Nations had become "a crucial advisor in the American-backed political process unfolding in Iraq" and had deployed staff to help organize the December 2005 elections for a full four-year government. That same November, the Security Council voted unanimously to extend the mandate of the U.S.-led forces in Iraq, as it did again repeatedly in 2006 and 2007.
In the absence of political progress and with sectarian violence on the rise in Iraq, during the summer of 2007, the American representative to the United Nations, Ambassador Zalmay Khalizad, argued for a "larger United Nations role" in Iraq. In an op-ed piece, Khalizad stated that the organization "possesses certain comparative advantages for undertaking complex internal and regional mediation efforts; it can also help internationalize the effort to stabilize the country."
A deepening Iraqi crisis pushed the U.S. government from ignoring the UN to relying on the UN. It was not a full embrace of multilateralism, to be sure. Multilateralism had become both the default U.S. position and a practical requirement of any plan that would begin getting the United States out of the post-invasion quagmire in Iraq. At first, the idea was to put the Iraqis in charge as quickly as possible while maintaining the American-led military presence on the ground.
So, starting in 2004, the United States began working again with the UN in Iraq and slowly repairing its ties with its previously alienated allies. But the long-term benefits of multilateralism were still not fully appreciated, and the U.S. administration felt it was important to show that its hands were not tied and that solitary options were always open.
So that there would be no confusion about this, Vice President Dick Cheney asserted at the 2004 Republican National Convention that President Bush had never sought "a permission slip to defend the American people." For his indirect criticism of the UN, Cheney received a thunderous round of applause at New York's Madison Square Garden.
The bottom line was that not long after invading Iraq, the United States executed a dramatic foreign policy reversal by returning to the multilateral table and attempting to woo back those allies who had become distanced. This reversal was not a strategic commitment to multilateralism, but rather an undesired change of course by the Bush administration, one made necessary by the deepening of the war. An American-led invasion with a reduced "coalition of the willing" had seemed to proceed well at first, but had devolved into a veritable nightmare of increasing military casualties, mounting resistance to occupation, bloody suicide bombings, and continued insecurity for coalition forces and Iraqis.
During 2007 and 2008, a growing number of Americans demanded a quick exit strategy from Iraq, with a concrete timetable for the withdrawal of U.S. troops. Numerous press reports revealed the public's increasing unrest with the course of the war. Dissenting voices, well beyond the Democratic Party, included leading Republican senators and conservative commentators. Likewise, the Iraqi government strongly agreed with the idea of designing a strategy for the withdrawal of foreign troops. However, President Bush vowed not to extricate military forces from Iraq "on artificial timetables set by politicians" and suggested that "the allure of retreat" from Iraq could lead to the same disastrous defeat experienced by the United States in the Vietnam War.
This book tells the story of missed opportunities and of the costs for the United States of going to war in Iraq without enough significant allies. It discusses the downgrade of multilateralism at a moment when broad alliances and UN Security Council endorsement were needed, and reveals how no single nation, no matter how powerful, can do as it pleases or win a war in a complex environment without real international cooperation and support. Former president George H. W. Bush showed an understanding of multilateralism's value during the Gulf War in 1991, and President George W. Bush seemed to show a similar understanding during the 2001 war against the Taliban regime in Afghanistan. In the latter war, the United States had major allies because of shared outrage, unequivocal evidence, and a common motive. However, America's decision to go to war in Iraq when there was no evidence of weapons of mass destruction (WMD) was a unilateralist decision, making Iraq an American rather than an international war.
The desertion of the multilateral road in Iraq was costly. The United States lost the favor and support of many friends whom America sorely needed to succeed. This book offers the story of the loyal allies who were initially ignored or rejected when they proposed alternatives to war in order to disarm Iraq and who were later urged to assist the war effort when matters on the ground demanded more partners and greater legitimacy.
The underlying argument of this book is that unilateralism, even when it operates under the cover of a "coalition of the willing," cannot succeed in cases like Iraq, where a strong military force is needed as much as diplomatic alliances are and where the legitimacy of UN endorsement is also a must.
The policy reversal to tactical multilateralism may have led to the successful 2005 Iraqi electoral process and the constitution of an elected government in 2006, but that reversal alone may be insufficient to earn the United States sustained support and trust from strong allies in other situations.
In short, the most important lesson of the second Iraq war is that in this world characterized by global media, new threats, and inextricably interwoven political and economic interests, the United States of America needs the support of significant allies and multilateral organizations for the long haul.
*
Also:
- Watch Muñoz' recent interview on Democracy Now!
Posted by Lou at 01:06 AM | Permalink
June 11, 2008
The [Wednesday] Papers
Today is the big day, sort of. The city council is scheduled to vote on the Chicago Children's Museum's horrible proposal to move to Grant Park. Predictions are already arriving here at Beachwood HQ.
The Beachwood Sportsbook currently has the Over/Under at 30 votes in favor.
That's Richie
The Boy Mayor has another gem in the Tribune today:
"The way you portray it, no one wants any Children's Museum and Millennium Park and all the other things."
Challenge to Daley: Name a single person in this fight who just plain doesn't want the Children's Museum anywhere.
"That's part of leadership."
What, lying? Or stupidity?
"You know, I will fight for children more than your newspaper will."
Yes, you care way more about children than everybody else. That's why you let them live in buildings inspected by teenagers.
"I really believe in children."
Did David Axelrod write that line for you? Or did it just pop into your head?
Every Law You Break
We keep crying Daley, Daley please . . .
Top Chef
The Trib has an inteview with former Bucktown chef Stephanie Izzard (one "z" or two?), who competes in the Top Chef finale tonight. She'll take questions in an online chat Thursday at 1 p.m.
New Story
Now that taxpayers won't be asked to foot the bill and Tribune Company is looking to unload Wrigley Field on a private party, the field is suddenly looking mahvelous. "If we didn't put a penny into the stadium it would be fine for 20 years," a "source" tells the Sun-Times. (Not knowing who's playing who, you should at least tell readers where the source's sympathies lie, or what their loose association is.)
I tend to think the need for renovation was overblown as a way to build an excuse for the state taking over (and/or to justify a heinous naming-rights deal); certainly the story keeps changing.
"After Tribune Co. rejected the authority's latest proposal as creative but unworkable, sources said that the media conglomerate is privately indicating it might hold off selling the ballclub if the inevitable need for costly repairs at the antiquated ballpark significantly discounts the bids it fields for the team," the Tribune reported last month. (Boldface mine.)
"It is estimated that structural repairs can be delayed no more than 10 to 15 years, and there is considerable financial incentive to modernize the ballpark's high-priced suites as soon as possible to put it on a par with similar moneymakers in other professional sports facilities . . .
"Sources involved in the bidding process said word is filtering back to those potential buyers that Tribune Co. is saying it will hold onto the team rather than sell at distressed prices if would-be buyers drop their prices too steeply in anticipation of having to pay for Wrigley Field renovations themselves."
Tribune Company - with an assist from Jim Thompson - might have tied itself in knots on this one,
"How the renovation of Wrigley Field will be funded is still yet unknown. The cost to repair Wrigley is estimated to be approx. $450 million," The Biz of Baseball reports.
That's about half of what the team is expected to fetch in the first place. It's hard to reel in a meme these days.
Torture Tale
"Retired detectives named in a decades-old Chicago Police torture scandal have been subpoenaed by a federal grand jury - a clear sign a criminal investigation into former Cmdr. Jon Burge and others is ramping up," Carol Marin and Frank Main report.
"Five to 10 detectives received subpoenas last week to appear June 19 before the grand jury. The probe is headed by Sergio Acosta, civil rights coordinator in the U.S. attorney's office in Chicago."
Daley had no comment because he was too busy caring about the children.
Impeachment Imbroglio
If only Mike Madigan was the Speaker of the U.S. House . . .
But seriously, Madigan's office claims its impeachment memo is merely a set of talking points for Democratic candidates facing reporters' questions, but the Sun-Times reports that "Madigan confirmed his chief legal counsel had done extensive research of impeachment."
It could also just be a tactic to gain leverage in budget negotiations - or other back-room dealings. But still, this is kind of a big deal.
*
My favorite part: "The memo discourages candidates from discussing the speaker's daughter, Attorney General Lisa Madigan, or her 'future political plans.'"
Memo to the Madigans: The less you connect Lisa to Mike, the better her chances of becoming governor.
United We Merge
We've got new merger partners for United Airlines! It's maybe not our best work, but it's pretty funny.
We HEART The Dells
So this makes us sad.
"For 55 years, acrobatic water-skiers forming human pyramids and waving American flags thrilled crowds at the Tommy Bartlett Show on these scenic shores," E. A. Torriero writes in the Tribune.
"But when the shows resume Thursday, the skiers will be no more, and gone too will be the backdrop of the tranquil lake.
"After the lake was virtually drained this week, the Bartlett audience will only watch comics and jugglers on unicycles on a stage fronting a muddy moonscape."
Noah's Ark is open, though.
The Beachwood Tip Line: Don't look at it, Miriam.
Posted by Lou at 08:49 AM | Permalink
United We Merge
United Airlines recently failed in its third merger attempt this year. Our consultants at Beachwood Labs have determined that the airlines business is so screwed-up that the last thing any airline should do is double-down on a losing hand. Instead, United should think more creatively. Our computers spit out the following merger partners the airline should explore.
*
ESPN: Pilots shout "boo-yeah!" after sticking landings; witty banter includes gems like "Call 911! Our left engine is el fuego!"
*
Wal-Mart: Part-time greeters without health insurance replace flight attendants.
*
The Obama campaign: I mean, duh.
*
Oprah: Wider seats, better food, departing gifts.
*
The Cook County Democratic Party: Planes would never leave the gate but the payroll would grow exponentially. And the new jobs would be really easy; you wouldn't even have to show up.
*
The CTA: The jokes write themselves.
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McDonald's: The extra value meals will come with frequent flyer miles; wilting salads come alive at 35,000 miles.
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City Hall: Mayor Daley will "privatize" O'Hare and Midway by contracting to let United manage them; American will be expelled from both by inspectors who suddenly do their job. In a three-way deal, McDonald's will maintain the concession contracts. The mayor's brothers will handle the legal work, bonding and insurance, and the mayor will insist he knew nothing about it.
*
Motorola: New navigation technology will get airplanes to their gates 1.5 seconds sooner, dramatically improving on-time performance.
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Tribune Company: This is your captain, Sam Zell, speaking. I might fly this thing into the ditch, but at least you'll enjoy the ride! Now ease on back, our feature film this evening is XXX-Men.
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Manchester United: Wouldn't have to totally repaint the planes.
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Aon: The business model would shift to reviving the flight insurance market.
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Apple: New iPlanes would look supercool, even if they ran a little hot.
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Yahoo: They need a merger partner too, and Yahoo United has a certain ring to it.
*
Fox News: Fox News United also has a certain ring to it. Save money the UPS way by prohibiting left turns.
*
FedEx: Somehow their planes are profitable and get there on time. Get access to the secret recipe.
*
Dunkin' Donuts: Eliminating Middle East routes plus any destinations that sound vaguely Arabic will save money, attract the Fox News demo.
*
Chicago Cubs: Learn how to capitalize on a losing brand.
*
Al Gore: Solar-powered planes save money on fuel and by not flying when it's cloudy. PowerPoint presentations replace in-flight movies.
*
GEICO: Caveman Air!
Posted by Lou at 12:27 AM | Permalink
Every Law You Break
Every law you break
Every move you make
For the land at stake
If the park you take
We'll be watching you!
Every single day
Every vote you sway
Every lie you say
Every term you stay
We'll be watching you!
Grant Park must be
Open clear and free
City hearts just ache
With every dig you make
Every law you break
Every move you make
For the land at stake
If the park you take
We'll be watching you!
When parkland's gone, it's lost without a trace
Protect our green; don't develop one more space
It's ours, not yours and its land you can't replace
Give up this scheme; it's the depths of your disgrace
We keep crying Daley, Daley please . . .
Grant Park must be
Open clear and free
City hearts just ache
With every dig you make
Every law you break
Every move you make
For the land at stake
If the park you take
We'll be watching you!
Every law you break
Every move you make
We'll be watching you!
We'll be watching you
Every law you break
Every move you make
For the land at stake
If the park you take
We'll be watching you!
We'll be watching you!
We'll be watching you!
-
Previously:
* Teach The Children's Museum Well
* Limericks!
Posted by Lou at 12:21 AM | Permalink
June 10, 2008
The [Tuesday] Papers
For what it's worth, aldermen Berny Stone and George Cardenas predicted last night on Chicago Tonight an overwhelming victory for the Children's Museum at Wednesday's city council meeting.
Brendan Reilly and Sandi Jackson, on the other hand, tepidly predicted a narrow win for their side.
Perhaps more interesting was the clear difference between Reilly/Jackson and Stone/Cardenas: one pair appeared smart, articulate and on-point, while the other pair looked like idiots. I'm sure you can figure out which was which.
Here's a snippet of their discussion with some additional commentary from the Beachwood HQ Viewing Lounge.
*
Moderator Elizabeth Brackett asked Reilly what his closing argument to aldermanic colleagues would be.
REILLY: . . . to remember their legacy.
Comment: That is just about the worst argument I can think of. Most of these aldermen won't even have a "legacy." Do you think the history books will care who George Cardenas is? I would go with "legal bills," "angry constituents who may vote you out of office," and "show some spine for once in your life."
STONE (frothing): [That piece of land] has never been part of the legacy . . . the land was railroad yards right up until 1974 . . . everything that Montgomery Ward talked about was south of Madison Street.
Comment: I thought true Chicagoans never referred to Madison as a "street" or an "avenue." It just is, right?
REILLY: The second Supreme Court decision specifically mentioned Randolph Street . . . it's been part of the legacy since 1836.
Comment: Stone was on the council back then, I'm surprised he forgot that.
JACKSON: . . . other areas without as much opposition . . . if only they had been explored . . .
CARDENAS: I come at this from the perspective of a parent . . .
Comment: Oh please, don't!
CARDENAS: . . . the location meets the expectations that I as a parent have . . .
Comment: For example, it's not in Sandi Jackson's ward.
CARDENAS: . . . the location fits that of the needs and wants of [people from my community] . . .
Comment: Who apparently don't want the museum in their own backyard.
JACKSON: I have two small children too . . . the current location is absolutely perfect . . .
CARDENAS: [At Navy Pier] people are drinking in some of those bars . . .
Comment: Whereas in Grant Park the drinking will be confined to inside the museum.
Video of Mayor Daley: This is about children. It's called the Children's Museum.
Comment (head shaking): (Sigh.)
Brackett asks why Daley is so hellbent (not her word) on this.
REILLY: I scratch my head every day . . . I don't understand where the passion's coming from . . . they picked the only location in the City of Chicago that can be brought into court . . . we should teach children the rule of law.
Comment: Where does the mayor's passion ever come from? The meat's a-cookin', Brendan!
STONE: The politics are simple: The mayor loves the City of Chicago.
Comment: Oh, now I get it!
STONE: This is a natural for the Children's Museum . . . I don't know who alderman Reilly is protecting . . .
Comment: The mob? I mean, what is Stone saying?
STONE: [The civic organizations opposing the move] haven't been told the truth about the site . . .
Comment: The Metropolitan Planning Council has been lied to!
CARDENAS: The power lies in the people.
Comment: And the people are against it. This guy is such a tool.
REILLY Overwhelmingly, the public has said not in this park, not in our Grant Park, not in the city's Grant Park.
Brackett asks them to predict the vote.
STONE: Overwhelmingly in favor.
CARDENAS: It's not gonna be a close vote.
JACKSON: I think it will be a close vote. Down.
REILLY: A close vote, a good chance we can defeat this.
*
Meanwhile, the utter deceit of the Children's Museum continues.
*
As always, more on the Children's Museum and the rest of the day in politics over at Division Street.
*
Benson Hedges
I don't have any sympathy for Cedric Benson, but I've always wondered in cases like this if punishment should await actual conviction, rather than just arrest. Plus, as several commentators have noted, the Bears would be acting awfully different if Benson was, you know, good.
Bully Pulpit
The Bully of Toulon is dead. Bob Kurson wrote about him in Chicago magazine in September 2002, and if the magazine puts the story up on its website - an iffy proposition - it's a must-read.
Daily Howler
Just a reminder that if you aren't reading Bob Somerby every day you aren't doing your duty. Especially you liberals and Obamaphiles allergic to the basic truth that your side does it too.
The Beachwood Tip Line: Howl.
Posted by Lou at 08:47 AM | Permalink
Mike Gravel's Next Chapter
Dear Friend:
I want to express my heartfelt gratitude for your support of my recent presidential candidacy and for your support for my public efforts in the past.
My electoral career spanned more than 50 years and 18 campaigns as a candidate. Some of you will remember that, when I lost my Senate re-election in 1980, I was disillusioned with representative government. But I continued my interest in and study of public policy and of the problems of human governance, eventually finding others who shared my goal of improving our broken representative democracy.
For all the talk of change in this - and every - election, there are really only two venues for fundamental change: the people and the government. We all know that our government has, by and large, been corrupted by money from lobbyists for various corporate interests. As a result, it's the special interests that are primarily served by our government - not the public interest.
Government gridlock has occurred because of the way the structures of government have evolved. But the Congress, and state and local governments, have little interest in enacting legislation to empower the people because doing so would dilute their own power. The same is true for the media, which covets its current role as a filter of information between the government and the people.
I believe that no matter who becomes our next president, true change in government will only occur if American citizens - We, The People - are empowered to vote on the important issues that affect our lives. Think of an engaged citizenry as the fourth branch of government, or as has been suggested, as adding a fourth leg to a wobbly chair that will otherwise fall over.
Lawmaking is the central power of government. I believe that empowering voters to share this power, in partnership with their elected representatives, is the solution to the gridlock our nation faces. This addition of Direct Democracy is outlined in a legislative proposal called the National Initiative for Democracy.
We saw that electing more Democrats to Congress did not end the war in Iraq. If the People could have voted, I believe our troops would be home already. If the People could vote, I believe we would re-direct our national priorities away from the bloated military-industrial complex; away from the "war" on drugs, which has resulted in more Americans in prison for non-violent behavior than any other country in the world; and away from government invasion of our personal privacy.
If the People could vote, I believe we would establish different priorities to ensure the civil liberties of all citizens; to repair our national infrastructure; to encourage solutions to our energy policies that respect the environment and don't create food shortages; to ensure access to health care; and to develop educational opportunities that will lead to a vibrant economy and a better future for our children and grandchildren.
Promoting the National Initiative was the reason I entered the presidential campaign - first as a Democrat and subsequently as a Libertarian after I realized that, contrary to myth, both major parties are controlled by the influences of Wall Street and the military-industrial complex. Our economy is in deep fiscal trouble, with a society that spends more than it earns, and with a nation purposely kept on a permanent war footing. I am sad to say, regardless of who wins in November, not a great deal will change.
Ending my electoral career, however, is not the close of my career of political activism. I will return to my work with the Democracy Foundation to educate Americans about the National Initiative and encourage Americans to vote in sufficient numbers to enact it into law. I hope Americans will come to realize that it is their right to vote directly on the issues that affect their lives. I will spend the rest of my life working to realize that goal.
In an effort to earn a living while pursuing the causes we hold dear, I will be signing on with a speakers bureau. This will dovetail nicely with the book tours I will be making to promote Citizen Power, self-published at Author House, which can be purchased online at citizen-power.us. Chapter 2 and 12 argue the case for the National Initiative in detail.The appendix also has the text of the proposed legislation.
I will also be promoting two other books which I co-authored, available at your local bookstore: A Political Odyssey: THE RISE OF AMERICAN MILITARISM AND ONE MAN'S FIGHT TO STOP IT, published by Seven Story Press, with Joe Lauria; and The KINGMAKERS: How the Media Threatens Our Security and Our Democracy, published by Phoenix Books, with Dr. David Eisenbach. Another book, Voice of a Maverick: The Speeches and Writings of Senator Mike Gravel, has been published by Brandywine House Books & Media and documents my key speeches while campaigning.
I hope you will join me in this effort with both personal and financial support.
If you wish to donate to help continue my fight for our country, please do so today. As we change the campaign Web site over to a public policy effort, I will continue to accept donations to advance the cause of peace, justice and the empowerment of the American people.
Since the Democracy Foundation is a 501c3, donations for the educational effort of the National Initiative are tax deductible and can be made at nationalinitiative.us.
Again, let me heartily thank you for your support. May our paths cross again in the near future as we work to improve our nation and the world we share.
Sincerely,
Mike Gravel
Posted by Lou at 05:46 AM | Permalink
Chicagoetry: Black Dog In Little Hell
BLACK DOG IN LITTLE HELL
PLEASE God
NOT TODAY: I have to
work! My self-esteem
went to bed in Lincoln Park
and awoke in
Goose Island, Old
Little Hell.
Black Dog
barking: the only Chicago
hurricane, broiling
from within. Blank
pain, rank blood flood.
Night drove a river piling
into my grief reservoir, so
flagrant failures, vicious
insults, and stagnant heartbreak
shatters my smile.
BUT I HAVE TO WORK!
To teach, entertain, lobby
for life! I HAVE TO WORK . . .
I'll have to
lie, to act, to merely
endure (again).
This broken morning
there is no
tomorrow, this broken
moment there is only
snarling sorrow. And I have
to
work . . .
-
J. J. Tindall is the Beachwood's poet-in-residence. He can reached at jjtindall@yahoo.com. Chicagoetry is an exclusive Beachwood collection-in-progress.
Posted by Lou at 02:26 AM | Permalink
June 09, 2008
The [Monday] Papers
* Pot, urination, towel drills and Sam Zell. You should see what goes on at Wrigley when the team is on the road. In The Cub Factor.
* Orlando Cabrera's greatest sin. In The White Sox Report.
* One Coach To Hire. In SportsMonday.
Our very own Jim Coffman notes: "Oh, by they way, I think Gangler predicted a Zambrano meltdown in his last Cub Factor and I predicted last week that the Collins thing would fall through (at the same time beat writers at both papers were saying it was just a matter of days before Collins was hired). We don't just write sports, we write future sports!"
Hot Spot
A Beachwood reader on the Sun-Times's "Which Team Has The Hotter Fans: Cubs or Sox?" contest:
"After careful review, this loyal Minnesota Twins fan has to go with White Sox fans. For future reference, after review of said photos I would say Sox fans also win:
"Most likely to kill you in a knife fight . . .
"Most likely to car-jack a ride home . . .
"Most likely to be really pissed when beer sales are suspended at the end of the seventh inning . . .
"Most likely to be able to tell you which train you need to take to get back to the North Side . . .
Food Fight
I've always thought the one thing White Sox fans had going for them was better food at their home park than the horrible, overpriced choices at Wrigley. In fact, I pretty much thought that was the consensus. But not according to the New York Times, which rated ballpark food on Sunday and found the offerings at the cellphone stadium wanting.
"What to order: Nothing. Your best bet is to bring a six-pack to the parking lot, and barter a cold one for a tailgater's hot dog. Failing that, a box of Cracker Jack.
"What to avoid: Everything."
Wow. Harsh, dudes! You can look up what the Times had to say about Wrigley and the rest of the parks here.
Puddy Duddies
Wisconsin high school officials propose topless-fan ban.
El's Bells
Beachwood reader Garry Jaffe writes about the IOC's observation that, well, the placement of CTA lines isn't very lakefront Olympic-friendly:
"There would be rail lines to all the lakefront sites & McCormick Place & Soldier Field if the city & CTA had gone through with the original plan to abandon the South Side Main Line [the entire Jackson park/Englewood lines] & had moved them to the IC Mainline as the plan called for in the mid-60s.
"The new L line would provide local service to 115th St., while the IC would have closed a lot of stations & sped up its trains. The IC right of way had plenty of space as it once had 10 tracks from Randolph St. south to 115th St. Four freight tracks, two long distance passenger train tracks & four commuter tracks.
"All that's left now are the four commuter tracks & Amtrak shares the outer two with the express commuter trains.
"But the idiot politicians destroyed that possibility with the $100 million poured into the rebuilding of the now Green Line, which goes from the Loop to, well, nowhere.
"What the hell good is a train that stops over a mile & a half from the Museum of Science & Industry? Or a half mile from the University of Chicago Hospitals?
"None!
"Plus service is only at 20-minute intervals most of the time.
"It used to go to 63rd & Stony Island [that was the main entrance to the 1893 fair], but when the L bridge over the IC tracks just east of Dorchester Ave was determined to be beyond repair, Dorchester became the end of the line [1400E].
"Then they cut back to Cottage Grove, now the end.
"I hope Daley's happy with pandering to the South Side ministers on the L project, now it's coming back to bite him in his Olympic worshipping ass!"
Crime Wave
Strange sentencing.
Housing Hooey
"CHA spokesperson Brian Zises was asked multiple times since April 8 to explain why the housing authority was acting against HUD regulations. By press time, Zises had declined repeated requests to explain the CHA's actions."
Rooms To Let
He still ain't got no cigarettes. In The Return of Roger Miller.
Strange Twist
It turns out MLK was a Republican.
Royko to Pritikin
Drop dead.
Speech Code
Why is it a scandal when Ozzie Guillen calls Jay Mariotti a fag but it's acceptable for Lacy J. Banks to equate homosexuals with rapists and murderers?
Sting Thing
I'm not sure what's more idiotic, the cops conducting undercover crosswalk stings or the cops conducting undercover crosswalk stings and announcing when and where they will take place.
Breaking News
"A Lincoln Park High School student lost the tip of his right index finger Friday in a freak accident involving a window in a school computer lab," the Sun-Times reported Saturday.
I think the real news here is that this was actually deemed news. And that it took two reporters to get "the story." And that it made Page 7, Metro.
And that "freak accident" was a window slamming on the student's finger.
Rear View
So is that what was behind this?
The Beachwood Tip Line: No horse.
Posted by Lou at 10:21 AM | Permalink
SportsMonday
When the Cubs win streak finally ended at nine with a loss to the Padres in the middle of last week, we had to stop saying "Why, I can't remember the last time the boys in blue suffered even a single setback." But with Sunday's victory (3-1 over the Dodgers on ESPN) we can still say "So I guess the Cubs have decided against three-game losing streaks." Plenty of pundits have pointed out in the last few weeks that the local squad is the only one in the majors that hasn't put together a tragic trifecta this year.
The win that broke up a rare Cubs two-game losing streak was so gosh-darned pleasant that even analyst Joe Morgan didn't seem as irritating as usual. It was pretty funny, though, in about the seventh inning when Morgan said he had a "trivia question" for broadcast partner Jon Miller. He proceeded to ask him "who hit the most consistently hard line drives you ever saw?"
|
"Where would we look up the answer to that question Joe?" replied the always smooth-as-silk Miller. And then, after saying Dave Winfield hit the hardest line drives he ever saw, Miller wouldn't concede the point Morgan was trying to make.
Morgan didn't seem to understand that just because he and a few of his former-player buddies thought the correct answer was Al Oliver didn't mean that everyone who had seen Oliver and Winfield play would agree.
Otherwise, the Hall-of-Fame second baseman went on a bit too long trying to explain the trouble the Dodgers have with a group of young players who are clearly good but won't become great if they don't find some peer leadership they respect and listen to. But his point was good. And Miller is as pleasing to the ear as any announcer this side of Vin Scully.
Other observations from a great night at an old and venerable ballpark (Dodgers Stadium):
* Jason Marquis pitched great but the guy who has driven Lou Piniella a little nuts at times with his control issues and other shortcomings this season and last couldn't escape without at least one hiccup. Marquis pitched into the seventh inning, allowing two hits, one unearned run and no walks. He allowed a base hit in that frame but had already recorded an out. Piniella comes out to check on him and you can read Marquis' lips as he says "I feel good. Real good." So the manager leaves him in. And Marquis walked the next guy on four pitches.
That was the end for the starter and on came the reliever whose slider at this point has to rank as one of the top five single pitches in all the National and American Leagues.
* Carlos Marmol's numbers have been staggeringly good so far this season and he just added to them Sunday. He now has allowed only 18 hits in 40 innings of work, an other-worldly ratio. He also leads relievers in both leagues with 60 strikeouts! There are all sorts of starting major league pitchers who don't have 60 strikeouts. Carlos Zambrano has 63 strikeouts . . . in 92 innings!
It was cool that a national audience had a chance to see just how good Marmol and Kerry Wood are right now.
* Wood came in for the ninth, of course, and threw an extremely high fastball right off the bat and maybe that's the solution to the only thing that has been a small problem for him - his penchant for hitting the first hitter he faces (which has led to, I think, three of his blown saves). You don't have to throw it high and tight to make the hitter (and the guys on deck and in the hole) uncomfortable, Kerry. Just throw it high. Of course that works even better if the fastball is hitting 98 on the gun and the curve ball isn't just breaking straight down, it is breaking down and then thinking about starting back toward Wood a moment before Geovany Soto hauls it in.
***
After the Cubs I switched over to the NBA Finals, where the Celtics almost blew a 20-point plus lead in the fourth quarter before finally winning by a half-dozen for a 2-0 lead over the Lakers.
With about two minutes to go, for the first time in televised history, a sideline reporter reported something that was actually news and that actually made a coach look bad (sideline reporters are high priests in the cult of the coach that infects so much of national sports broadcasting).
Michelle Tafoya reported that Celtics coach Doc Rivers had told his team, which was busy almost blowing a huge lead, not to worry about the score. The important thing was to crank the defense back up and to not let the Lakers get comfortable heading into the next game.
Of course, the broadcast team of Mike Breen, Jeff Van Gundy and Mark Jackson didn't pick up on it. Because if they had they would have had to acknowledge that might have been the stupidest thing they had ever heard a coach say in the final minutes of a close playoff game. And national announcers just won't say stuff like that (although Van Gundy is refreshingly willing to criticize all sorts of stuff).
The next game? Who gives a flying fusilli (mmm, pasta - and extra-wide to absorb more sauce) about the next game? Win this game and ensure this seven-game series eventually comes back to Boston - unless the Celtics win it in L.A. (the next three games are in the City of Angels).
***
First, we had the D'Antoni Fiasco. Now what do we call the latest chapter of the Bulls' search for a coach? It has to sound like a soap opera, what with Jerry Reinsdorf apparently telling Doug Collins "I love you like a son!" I can't bring myself to offer you the low-ball contract I'm going to insist our next coach sign, especially after you violated my first rule: never, on pain of death, allow a close associate to leak information to the press about one of your business deals. Here's what it was: another exciting episode of "One Coach to Hire."
Oh by the way John Paxson, do not, do not, do not hire some scrub longtime assistant like Dwayne Casey (who was also an interim NBA head coach - you know, the one who takes over in the middle of the season after his colleague, a highly unsuccessful head coach, is fired - at least once I think) or Vinny Del Negro, a mediocre former player and only moderately experienced assistant the Sun-Times actually floated as a candidate Sunday.
Now you have to wait until the bitter end. You have to wait until the Finals are over and you can talk to Celtics assistant Tom Thibodeau (credited with orchestrating the defense that allowed the Celtics to pull away from the league during the regular season and which has done such a good job of shutting down Kobe Bryant these last two games). Perhaps you should also have a chat with Mr. Van Gundy (who has head-coached winning teams in New York and Houston) or recently fired Pistons coach Flip Saunders (led Detroit to the conference finals three years in a row!). And former Spurs coach Avery Johnson? Surely he has received some consideration?
I realize this is getting awfully embarrassing. You've signed off on coaching hires not once but twice only to see the ever-more-addled owner (you can't possibly make fun of this latest stuff as much as it deserves) make an unbelievable mess of it both times. But you have to hang in there and hire one of these many fine candidates and you have to convince Mr. Reinsdorf to pay more than he is currently willing to offer.
Or you have to quit.
***
Hey Jay Leno, I have a (free!) joke for you (I'm hoping no one prominent has voiced something similar yet). It goes something like this: "I hear there's a lot of optimism in Chicago about the Cubs these days. They haven't won a championship in a hundred years but people feel like this might be the team to finally do it. Me, I'm a skeptic. I figure, sure the Cubs will win the World Series. They'll win it the same year the U.S. elects a black president."
It isn't good enough for Letterman but if the Cubs keep playing so well, I'm sure it won't be long 'til I take my joke-writing to the next level.
-
Jim Coffman appears in this space every Monday with the best sports wrap-up in the city. You can write to him personally! Please include a real name if you would like your comments to be considered for publication.
Posted by Lou at 09:03 AM | Permalink
The White Sox Report
We all know Orlando Cabrera has his faults. This has been discussed over, and over, and over. Well we've got a new one this week, and it's his most egregious yet: Orlando Cabrera likes Nickelback.
Cabrera: "I like Nickelback. Really. I love Nickelback.
He sounds convincing, right? I mean, we already know he likes to party. What's better than drinking tequila and listening to "How You Remind Me"? Nothing I tell you. Nothing at all.
While Cabrera listens to the worst music of any Sox player (I believe it's a scientific fact that you cannot do worse than Nickelback), the rest of the guys have their faults, too. I always thought one of the coolest parts of being a professional baseball player would be getting to choose your at-bat song; apparently the White Sox hitters disagree. They suck at liking good music. So here is some advice, Sox hitters, to make you guys look a little cooler before coming to the plate.
*
Player: Carlos Quentin
Current Song: "4 Minutes (to Save the World)" by Madonna featuring Justin Timberlake
To help Q pick new entrance music, I Googled "songs for awesome people". Unfortunately, the results were inconclusive. But Madonna certainly won't do. Quentin needs something fresh, new, and powerful.
Suggested Song: "Paper Planes" by MIA.
Let's just hope they cut the song before the chorus kicks in - something about gunshots probably won't sit well with 30,000 people crammed into a stadium on the South Side.
*
Player: Jim Thome
Current Song:: "No Leaf Clover" by Metallica
Okay, I detest Metallica (all hate mail can be sent to the address at the end of this column). More importantly, they're Paulie's band. He's been coming out to them for years. Thome and Konerko both might be slow, aging, and hitting .210, but I will not allow them to come out to the same band. That's just unacceptable.
Suggested Song: Thome needs something scary. That's why he should go back to the song he came out to last year, a song that screams Gentleman Masher: "The Beautiful People" by Marilyn Manson. Finally, I've found a person that Thome has less in common with than Manny Ramirez . . .
*
Player: Joe Crede
Current Song(s): "It's Not My Time" by 3 Doors Down; "What I Want" by Daughtry
And just when you thought no one could choose worse than OC . . . Joe Crede gives him a run for his money. Seriously, man? 3 Doors Down and some American Idol castoff? That's just incredibly lame. I hope Journey isn't the coolest band on Crede's iPod.
Suggested Song: Let's go with something from baseball fans' and Beachwood favorite The Hold Steady. "Stuck Between Stations", the opening track from their last album Boys and Girls in America, should do just fine. It's not 3 Doors Down's time.
*
Week in Review: 6-0.
Week in Preview: The consistently bad Tigers host the Sox for a three-game set. Weren't they supposed to be good or something? Lesson one: never believe what John Kruk tells you.
The Missile Tracker: We were a little hesitant to track The Missile at first because, you know, he wasn't playing. Well, The Missile launched this week, people, and it's more explosive than we ever could have imagined. We have no idea how he gets so much power out of that paper-thin torso, but, hey, whatever works, man. I wear my appreciation on my desktop.
I Like Those Odds: According to Baseball Prospectus, the Sox are projected to win 90 games. They have an 83% chance of making the playoffs, or roughly the same probability that Carlos Zambrano beats an inanimate object after getting pulled from his next start.
Fields on the Farm: With every Joe Crede homer (and lately, there have been lots) we ponder the future of Fields, the best prospect the Sox have produced in a long time. That's kind of like being the tallest midget, but I suppose it's better than being the shortest midget, which is probably Arnie Munoz. Fields belted another homer on Saturday, giving him eight on the season.
Family Affair: When in doubt, draft your son.
Over/Under: 11: the number of hamburgers Tigers slugger Miguel Cabrera eats during his three-game series this week against the Sox.
Beachwood Sabermetrics: A complex algorithm performed by The White Sox Report staff using all historical data made available by Major League Baseball has determined that Ozzie should be pissed more often.
The White Sox Report: Read 'em all.
-
Comments welcome. Please include a real name if want to be considered for publication.
-
Ricky O'Donnell is the proprietor of Tremendous Upside Potential and a contributor to the Sun-Times's Full Court Press.
Posted by Lou at 08:40 AM | Permalink
The Cub Factor
The Cubs ventured into Pacific Standard Time last week and rewarded fans with insomnia or up late like I was with a crying baby still early in his rookie year (still undetermined if he's left-handed, but by God we're gonna try!). And speaking of crying babies, how 'bout Big Z?
Anyway, you don't have to stay away from Wrigley Field when the Cubs are on the road. On off-weekends, the Cubs offer 90-minute tours of the Friendly Confines for 25 bucks a crack. So my wife and I headed over to Clark and Addison (you can park on the street on off-days!) to check it out. And I have to say that for an old building, well, that place looks . . . old. And pretty cramped and dilapidated and behind the times, and did I mention cramped and old? All of those people who think this place is some kind of baseball shrine that should never be touched up again should go on this tour. You'll see a place where they've shoved square pegs in round holes at every turn. Maybe this is blasphemy, but go check it out; you'll be surprised how dysfunctional the place is.
We saw some pretty strange things too, and compiled a list of what goes on at Wrigley Field while the team is away.
* Mark Prior keeps sneaking in to do towel drills for old times' sake.
* Sam Zell constantly reprices every seat, bat and ball with one of those grocery-store thingies.
* Yosh Kawano urinates in the lockers of players he doesn't like. And those he does.
* The grounds crew is totally growing pot behind the ivy.
* Ron Santo sunbathes nude at third base.
* Grounds crew re-enacts the Bartman ball over and over and over. Still not old.
* The ghost of Dusty Baker walks back and forth from the dugout to the mound. Grounds crew must clean-up the trail of toothpicks.
* Equipment managers still disposing of Sammy Sosa's corked bat collection.
* Jim Hendry gets picked off first in imaginary game.
* Food and beverage division practices watering down beers and making hot dogs even smaller.
* John Cusack and Jim Belushi sing 7th-inning stretch as part of new off-day guest singer series.
* Billy goats left out of their pens to chew outfield grass.
* Bob Brenly actually throwing darts into the Cubs dugout.
* Mark Cuban already practicing obnoxious screaming at home plate umpire about balls and strikes calls from a first-base box seat.
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Week in Review: The Cubs took two of three from a bad Padre team and split a four-game series with the DL-impaired Dodgers.
Week in Preview: The Cubs come home for a three games against the struggling Braves and then head north to play the struggling Blue Jays. Wait, they still play baseball in Canada?
The Second Basemen Report: Seven games this week and three starting second baseman. Mark DeRosa got five start and Ronnie Cedeno and Mike Fontenot got one start each. Cedeno also got a start at shortstop and Alfonso Soriano continued to play centerfield. And rumors about a Brian Roberts trade - to either Chicago team - are back. You know, just like Jim Hendry drew it up.
In former second basemen news, Joe Morgan never played for the Cubs, and if he did he wouldn't have been as good as Sandberg despite what Morgan thinks. Morgan is a douche. He is not missed.
The Zam Bomb: Big Z go boom! Blames water coolers for hanging pitches.
Lost in Translation: Cubbio Fan-sans is Japanese for making way too big a deal over the fact that one of their players is Japanese.
Sweet and Sour Lou: - 71% sweet, 29% sour. Lou is down four points on the Sweet-O-Meter this week due to knowing that his ace pitcher is a complete head case and also not playing that well on the road. And like your real crazy drunk uncle, Lou is concerned that you aren't behaving yourself at sleepover camp but as long as you act like a real good boy at home he'll live with it.
Center Stage: Jim Edmonds got five of seven starts and looks like the main man as long as he hits adequately. But then, same thing could be said of Reed Johnson.
The Cub Factor: Catch up with them all.
Beachwood Sabermetrics: A complex algorithm performed by the The Cub Factor staff using all historical data made available by Major League Baseball has determined that it's hard to pitch in a straitjacket.
Over/Under: The number of people who will ever get through to Carlos Zambrano: +/- .5.
Mount Lou: Lou moves to status level as the realization of counting on a very important unstable starting pitcher has begun turning solid rock into molten anger magma deep under the surface. Expect a stupid question this week to prompt Mount Lou into a small eruption. Experts point to the Thursday post-game interview.
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Posted by Lou at 07:53 AM | Permalink
Royko To Pritikin: Drop Dead!
I witnessed a police raid at Belmont Rocks consisting of nine police cars and three 3-wheelers to arrest a blond sun-tanned young man dressed in a bikini and armed with a basket of home-made sandwiches for not having a city license to sell on public property. They hauled him off to jail. I was visiting from San Francisco and had forgotten how uncivil Chicago cops could be. I snapped these pictures.
I walked to the nearly Columbia Yacht Club and called the Daily News from a public phone asking to speak to Mike Royko, who I had heard was always willing to go to bat for the little guy, especially in the Chicago neighborhoods or politics. I think the call cost me a dime back then.
I was connected to him and he listened my story and when I was finished Mike Royko said to me loud and clear:
"THEY SHOULD ARREST ALL THE FAGGOTS!"
And then he hung up.
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Previously:
* Jerry Pritikin's '70s Show
* Lament of The Bleacher Preacher
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Comments welcome. Please include a real name if you wish to be considered for publication.
Posted by Lou at 06:30 AM | Permalink
MLK Was A Republican
We must act today to keep the White House in the hands of Republicans!
To win the 2008 election, Republicans must accomplish this one very important goal - win just 25% of the black vote.
But how do we win 25% of the black vote? Most black voters favor conservative policies - not liberal ones. They do not support higher taxes, surrendering in Iraq, partial birth abortion and same-sex marriage. For middle class blacks, voting their values NOW means voting Republican.
That's why we must act immediately to get the ball rolling on our proven 2008 VICTORY PLAN to educate and bring these black voters back to the Party of Lincoln.
Our 4-step 2008 Victory Plan:
* Recruit and train black church and community leaders to spread our conservative Republican message
* Script, produce and air our hard-hitting radio and TV ads for black radio and TV outlets
* Publish and distribute our very effective magazine, The Black Republican
* Put up MLK billboards across America
I think you see how our 2008 VICTORY PLAN will stop the Democrats, from HILLARY CLINTON and BARACK OBAMA at the top all the way down to the bottom of the ticket.
Can I count on you to help with your most generous gift in the amount of $25, $50, $75, $250, $500, $1,000 or more to fund our 2008 VICTORY PLAN? Click here to donate.
Whatever you can send - $25, $50, $75 - is needed immediately.
If we can convince just 25% of black voters that the Republican Party already represents the values they most care about, we can take back Congress and stop the Democrats from capturing the White House.
That's why I'm asking for your very best gift - at least $25 - and that you rush it to me immediately. Thank you!
Frances Rice, Chairman
National Black Republican Association
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Comments welcome. Please include a real name if you wish to be considered for publication.
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1. A Beachwood reader points out that MLK was a Communist too, according to these billboards in the South during the 1960s.
Posted by Lou at 05:24 AM | Permalink
The Return of Roger Miller
Wow. I didn't realize how lucky I was when I found a very good vinyl copy of this album at the Reckless Records on Milwaukee Avenue a couple months ago. I bought it just because I've always been a big fan of Roger Miller, since I was nine years old, really, when his mid-60s smashes "Dang Me" and "King of the Road" succeeded somehow in pushing the British Invasion off my radar for about five seconds. But now that I check it out, I see that The Return of Roger Miller (1965, Smash Records) has NEVER been released as a CD. Amazing. This was his "King of the Road" album! What gives? It turns out the big songs off it have only been issued on CD in "greatest hits" form.
Well, even before I realized that, I was thinking I had a winner for Bin Dive. This is Miller at the absolute top of his game, funnin', pickin', grinnin,' gettin' all "novelty" on me. It's too bad he's always been pigeonholed as a novelty act because there's so much wonderful classic country flowing just below the surface. Of course, it's because of the pop-crossover surface that I ever even had heard of him in the first place. The fact that he got played on every Top 40 rock 'n' roll station in the land had a lot to do with his bright and upbeat way of telling what are really typically downbeat, cry-in-your-beer, country-style tales of woe. It was Miller's unique way of telling horrible stories with a sly grin and an anarchic attitude that elevates his music beyond novelties and into something that's just as profound and American as any Hank Williams weeper.
Miller teamed with Nashville producer and guitar genius Jerry Kennedy for his string of big 1960s hits. They recorded most of them over an 11-month period in 1964 for Smash Records, a subsidiary of Mercury Records that also had James Brown and Jerry Lee Lewis under contract. "Dang Me," off their first album Roger and Out, became such a huge hit that Miller, who had moved to California (living in an apartment above Lee Hazlewood's garage) to find an acting job, hurried back to Nashville to cut more songs. The result was his finest moment, The Return of Roger Miller, and one of the greatest songs in the history of country music, "King of the Road."
I think anyone who knows anything about '60s pop or country music knows "King of the Road," so I won't spend too much time on it. But it has been described as perhaps the most perfect country song ever written, even though it has a very jazzy arrangement, with those unforgettable finger snaps and crawling bass line performed by Bob Moore. Here's a list of the well-deserved Grammys it won in 1965: best country song; best country vocal performance, male; best country and western recording, single; best contemporary vocal performance, male; and (get this) best contemporary (rock 'n' roll), single. So it was judged the best country AND rock 'n' roll song in a year when the Stones dropped "Satisfaction" and The Beatles were busy playing Shea Stadium. Wow. Talk about crossover.
King Of the Road
"King of the Road" was the first track off side two, and it set the stage for the album. Jerry Kennedy, who later became known for his overdubbing and studio machinations, instead used a sparse technique for Miller, whose quirky, complex lyrics delivered in his unique voice needed to be brought to the front and allowed to shine, and that's just what Kennedy did on this album.
The other big hit off The Return of Roger Miller was "(And You Had a) Doo-Wacka-Doo." This follows the Miller formula in that it's an upbeat song about wishing someone ill, just as "King" is an upbeat song about homelessness. "I wish I had your happiness, and you had a doo-wacka-doo, wacka-doo, wacka-doo, wacka-doo." Not very charitable, and yet it fairly oozes sunshine and contains probably the finest example of Miller's outrageous, ultra-high scat singing. Certainly no one in the realm of country music at a time when the lush and plush "Nashville Sound" was taking hold could claim to be so free-spirited. No wonder Miller scored big with college kids.
This album is nothing but one strong song after another. "Reincarnation" is a prime example of Miller's patented playfulness, which appealed so strongly to kids but also had a hidden darkness. One the surface it's a silly song that asks questions like,
If l was a bird and you was a fish
What would we do? l guess we'd wish
For reincarnation, reincarnation
Wouldn't it be a sensation
To come back too, like reincarnation
But guess what? It's really about longing, loneliness and death. Am I right? Just sayin'. Then there's "That's the Way It's Always Been," with its signature line, "Fall yourself in love and get your teeth kicked in." Umm, but of course it's upbeat.
After listening to the album (which also won the 1965 Grammy for best country album, by the way) a few times, "Hard Headed Me" really grew on me. It's definitely "goofy" because of its light-hearted arrangement, with some of Miller's best comic delivery, but check out the lyrics - they're about a chronic alcoholic who loses everything he loves:
Well he gave me fair warning, he said let him alone
But I'd had one too many and refused to go home
Then I said somethin' awful and then so did he
And he hit me and hurt me and my eyes couldn't see
Hard, hard headed me
I spoke out of turn once too often
I'd be better off in my coffin
Hard headed me
Well she gave me fair warning many times my wife said
She said, "If you aim to keep me quit your foolhardy ways"
I said, "Now listen, woman, you better leave me alone"
How long is forever? That's how long she'll be gone
Hard, hard headed me...
I don't even have time to tell you about the sheer foolish wackiness of "You Can't Roller Skate In a Buffalo Herd," except to say that it contains another of the best examples of Miller's genius scat singing. Instead, I'm including this:
There are seven other songs on this tour de force of timeless Americana. Thanks, Reckless Records, for a $2.99 bin dive classic. It's what bin diving is truly all about.
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Comments welcome. Please include a real name if you wish to be considered for publication.
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From Chad Everett to Led Zeppelin, Jimmy Swaggart to Prince, the Beachwood Bins are teeming with great and not-so-great moments in rock history.
Posted by Don at 12:50 AM | Permalink
June 07, 2008
The Weekend Desk Report
We're roasting hot at the Desk this weekend. No, seriously, we are.
Market Update
Corporate America saw its largest-ever surge on the Rational Panic Index, joining Half of Asia among the week's biggest gainers. Analysts predict growth for these new tigers could soon outpace the record gains posted by Everyone Else on Earth.
Narry Relosi
The DNC's venerable leadership chimera flexed its muscle yet again this week, crushing the resistance of Hilary Clinton. Time will tell if this paves the way for the creation of Barillary Clinbama.
Games Begin
Now that Chicago is officially a finalist for the 2016 Summer Olympics, bid officials promised to step up their radical efforts to empty the South Side completely. Indeed, at least one high-profile resident is already making plans to leave.
Visible Panty Line
Just another sobering reminder: when in doubt, wear briefs.
Beachwood Stakes
With several high-profile sporting events due to tip this weekend, it's time one again to check in with the Beachwood Weekend Desk Prognostication Department. We're not saying the acrylic patch on Big Brown's hoof will give him an unfair advantage in his quest for the Triple Crown. But the three-inch glamour tips might provide extra bite on that Belmont Park turf. Meanwhile, Los Angeles Chief Antonio Villaraigosa must be pinching himself that Boston's unheralded Thomas Menino somehow knocked overwhelming favorite Kwame Kilpatrick out of this year's Sleazy Mayor Invitational last round. Now, he's got a chance.
Counting County
Finally this week, a Cook County board member expressed outrage at the practice of billing for work that wasn't done. Analysts say this could pose as big a threat to the county's financial health as the work that is being done.
Posted by Natasha at 09:03 AM | Permalink
June 06, 2008
Jerry Pritikin's '70s Show
While many people know me as the Bleacher Preacher, very few are aware of my years that I was a "Chicagoan living in Exile" in S.F from the early 1960s until the late 1980s. In 1953, I quit high school because being or knowing someone "queer" in Chicago was taboo! I spent several years selling appliances at Marshall Field's. When I applied for that job I was told that I had three strikes against me to start: I had quit school, I had no experience, and I was Jewish! They hired me on a straight commission in 1955, and after the third week I was making $200 to $400 a week selling fans during a heat-wave because most apartments and homes had no air conditioners.
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I arrived in San Francisco at the tail end of the beatnik era. I bought a cheap Kodak instamatic camera to send tourist-like images of the bridges, cable cars and wharfs back to friends and family. Soon, though, photographs of leftover beatniks, soon-to-be hippies, flower children and peace-mongers became my favorite photographic pastimes. I was able to see the Grateful Dead play in an upstairs, downtown gay bar with no cover charge and 25-cent beers in a bottle. To start the 1970s, I moved between the Haight-Ashbury and a lazy neighborhood called The Castro and rented a 2-bedroom house with a front and back yard on Alpine Terrace for $250 a month. I learned from a recent Google search that a 2-bedroom apartment on the same street now goes for $3,800 a month.
I was lucky to have arrived in San Francisco in the early 60's, when it was a great small town. A lid of pot sold for seven bucks! Today, like a bleacher ticket at Wrigley, you almost have to file for bankruptcy to buy one.
I bought a better camera and became a freelance photographer and publicist specializing in gay clients and businesses at a time when it was not yet fashionable to be openly gay - even in San Francisco!
By osmosis, I was involved in early gay politics and sports. I used to display my photos in a bakery shop window a few doors away from today's Harvey Milk Plaza. I used to have my film developed at Harvey's camera shop. His store was like a small town's general store without the potbelly stove. Customers came in to talk politics, pet Harvey's dog or make comments on the good-looking chaps walking in front of store window. Harvey and I became friends. I wrote sports for a few gay rags, and in time created timely t-shirts including "ANITA BRYANT'S HUSBAND IS A HOMO-SAPIEN!" I even got Jane Fonda to wear one. I outed myself nationally in 1977 via the UPI wires.
This month happens to be the 30th anniversary of the assassinations of Harvey Milk and Mayor Moscone; I knew them well. (This year also marks the 30th anniversary of when I played on the championship Oil Can Harry's Oilers, who won the right to represent S.F. in the 1978 Gay World Series in N.Y. but was kicked out for having too many "straights" on our roster!)
Recently, the movie Milk was recreated in the San Francisco's Castro district. It is due out this fall. One of the scenes re-created was from one of my images, that was originally on the AP wires and then in Randy Shilts' The Mayor of Castro Street. Only in the movie they changed the location . . . in baseball lingo . . . it would be like recreating the babe's pointed shot . . . except the background is Comiskey Park!
But this is not a gay/straight story, it's a documentation of a place and time.
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On Monday, Pritikin tells a Mike Royko story.
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See also: The Lament Of The Bleacher Preacher.
Posted by Lou at 01:39 PM | Permalink
The [Friday] Papers
Every time you think the silly, sophomoric, misogynist Sun-Times couldn't possibly get any sillier or more sophomoric, it outdoes itself.
And to think, the paper is still only 50 cents.
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Send your nominations to webphotos@suntimes.com. It's okay if you cut off their heads, just show us tits and ass.
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No, seriously, send your "nominations" to webphotos@suntimes.com - and tell them the Beachwood sent you.
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"We've already started the galleries.
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Next: Which Side Of Town Has The Hottest Reporters? Send in your photos now!
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Meanwhile, the Sun-Times can't be bothered to tell us how individual aldermen on the zoning committee voted yesterday on the Children's Museum.
Tribulations
Every time you think the ignorant, mismanaged, misguided Tribune Co. couldn't possibly get any strategically stupider, it outdoes itself.
This is what happens when you bring former executives of Clear Channel - which was the Wal-Mart of the music industry - in to run your newspaper company.
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Oops, I forgot. The employees own the joint now. So they can tell Randy Michaels to take a hike, right?
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If reporters will now be judged on quantity, does that mean long stories will be in again?
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Is there any other industry where the universal answer to losing customers is to make the product worse?
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On the other hand, Michaels is at least sideways right: You could get rid of a lot of deadweight - and the whole Tempo section - without losing much.
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So wait. You're gonna cut the size of the paper but ask reporters to produce more?
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At least the Tribune tells us which way aldermen on the zoning committee voted on the Children's Museum.
ER, OOPS . . . I just noticed that the online version of this story is missing these two paragraphs (you know, the basics, I mean, times are tight) that are in my print edition:
"The votes in favor of the museum came from Banks, Edward Burke (14th), Margaret Laurino (39th), Bernard Stone (50th), Ray Suarez (31st) and Latasha Thomas (17th). The three 'no' votes were cast by Rey Colon (35th), Vi Daley (43rd) and Ed Smith (28th).
"Five committee members did not vote. Isaac Carothers (29th) and Thomas Allen (38th) were present for much of the meeting but were not in the council chambers when the vote was taken. Three other panel members - Carrie Austin (34th), Eugene Schulter (47th) and Frank Olivo (13th) - did not attend Thursday's meeting."
I'm sure they had more important things going on back in their wards. For example, Schulter probably at his office reading through responses to his latest query to constituents.
Banks Shot
Ald. Bill Banks has been the zoning committee chairman since Richard M. Daley became mayor in 1989. (He heads up what John Kass calls the First Family of Zoning.) Former Banks aide Patricia Scudiero is the administration's top zoning official. The zoning committee is no more an independent body than the Chicago Plan Commission is. Or the full city council, for that matter.
There is not a legislative branch in Chicago government. The judiciary is only quasi-independent; that's the only chance museum opponents - who are right, of course - have. And even though the precedents are in their favor, it won't matter unless they can stop construction before it begins.
Spin City
"This is a classic case of Not In My Back Yard," museum attorney Ted Novak says.
No, Ted, it's a classic case of Not In Our Front Yard.
Five-Ring Circus
Remember all those times the mayor pledged that no public money would be used should the city land the 2016 Olympics? And then how it turned out we needed to have some skin in the game? And then how that skin turned out to be a $500 million guarantee to cover any losses should the city's rosy revenue projections fall short?
Well, guess what, we're gonna have to pony up even more dough just in case. And no, there won't be any city council debate - why start now?
"The council will vote for that," Burke says.
And you can be sure he's right.
While the Sun-Times - which congratulates Chicago 2016 in a full page ad today - assures in its "reporting" that city officials pledge the guarantee won't have to be tapped (after all, every other Daley project comes in on budget!), the International Olympic Committee isn't so sanguine.
"The IOC evaluation characterized the Chicago bid's revenue estimates of $3 billion as 'optimistic' and said it's construction costs 'appear low.'"
Ya think?
Enter Now!
The Chicagoist Blago Haiku Contest. I entered, you should too!
The Beachwood Knows Bo
This song about Bo Diddley is freakin' awesome.
The Beachwood Knows Barr
Stephen Colbert's description of libertarianism is priceless.
The Beachwood Knows The Bleacher Preacher
Jerry Pritikin's '70s Show opens tonight.
That Bo Diddley Beat
The Beachwood Tip Line: Our fans are hotter.
Posted by Lou at 09:10 AM | Permalink
Song of the Moment: The Story of Bo Diddley
Reverberations from the death of Bo Diddley are still being felt in the music world, and tributes are pouring from everywhere (including right here at the Beachwood ), all well-deserved. But among the very first tributes to The Gunslinger came way back in 1964, from The Animals, who recorded a truly amazing song called "The Story of Bo Diddley"
The song was not only a funny, informative self-effacing rap by Eric Burdon in which he tells how Bo Diddley supposedly came to England and told him his music was "rubbish," but also a music history lesson for young Baby Boomers on where their British Invasion rock 'n' roll really came from. It begins as a remake of the song "Bo Diddley" but turns into a manifesto declaring allegiance to all things rock 'n' roll. (Lyrics below)
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The Story of Bo Diddley/The Animals
Now let's hear the story of Bo Diddley
And the rock 'n' roll scene in general
Bo Diddley was born Ellis McDaniel in a place called McComb,
Mississippi about 1926
He moved to Chicago about 1938
Where his name was eventually changed to Bo Diddley
He practiced the guitar every day and sometimes into the night
Till his papa's hair began to turn white
His Pa said, "Son, listen here, I know
You can stay but that guitar has just gotta go"
So he pulled his hat down over his eyes
Headed out for them Western Skies
I think Bob Dylan said that
He hit New York City
He began to play at the Apollo in Harlem
Good scene there, everybody raving
One day, one night, came a Cadillac with four headlights
Came a man with a big, long, fat, cigar said,
"C'mere son, I'm gonna make you a star"
Bo Diddley said, "Uh, what's in it for me?"
Man said, "Shut your mouth son, play the guitar
And you just wait and see"
Well, that boy made it, he made it real big
And so did the rest of the rock 'n' roll scene along with him
And a white guy named Johnny Otis took Bo Diddley's rhythm
He changed it into hand-jive and it went like this
In a little old country town one day
A little old country band began to play
Add two guitars and a beat-up saxophone
When the drummer said, boy, those cats begin to roam
Oh baby ooh wee oh oh
Ooh la la that rock and roll
Ya hear me ooh wee oh oh
Ooh la la that rock and roll
Then in the U.S. music scene there was big changes made
Due to circumstances beyond our control, such as payola
The rock 'n' roll scene died after two years of solid rock
And you got discs like,
"Take good care of my baby
Please don't ever make her blue"
And so forth
About one year later in a place called Liverpool in England
Four young guys with mop haircuts began to sing stuff like,
"It's been a hard days night and I've been working like a dog"
And so on
In a place called Richmond in Surrey, way down in the Deep South
They got guys with long hair down their back singing
"I wanna be your lover baby I wanna be your man"
Yeah and all that jazz
Now we've doing this number, "Bo Diddley," for quite some time now
Bo Diddley visited this country last year
We were playing at the Club A GoGo in Newcastle, our hometown
The doors opened one night and to our surprise
Walked in the man himself, Bo Diddley
Along with him was Jerome Green, his maraca man,
And the Duchess, his gorgeous sister
And a we were doing this number
Along with them came the Rolling Stones, the Merseybeats,
They're all standing around diggin' it
And I overheard Bo Diddley talkin'
He turned around to Jermone Green
And he said, "Hey, Jerome, what do you think
these guys doin' our material?"
Jerome said, "Uh, where's the bar, man? Please show me to the bar"
He turned around the Duchess
And he said, "Hey Duchess, what do you think of
these young guys doin' our material?"
She said, "I don't know. I only came across
here to see the changin' of the guards and
all that jazz."
Well, Bo Diddley looked up and said to me,
With half closed eyes and a smile,
He said "Man," took off his glasses,
He said, "Man, that sure is the biggest load of
Rubbish I ever heard in my life."
Hey Bo Diddley
Oh Bo Diddley
Yeah Bo Diddley
Oh Bo Diddley
Yeah Bo Diddley
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Previously in Song of the Moment:
* Iron Man
Posted by Don at 04:31 AM | Permalink
What I Watched Last Night
This installment of "What I Watched Last Night" should really be called "What I Didn't Watch Last Night But Recorded on My DVR to Watch Sometime in the Next Few Years." Yes, that's right, years. There are programs recorded on my digital video recorder (DVR) that date back to the spring of 2005. Allow me to explain.
I live in a household of three distinct TV-watching personalities. If the three of us were to be illustrated by a Venn diagram, the littlest segment at dead center, where the three circles meet, would represent the sole regularly recorded program we all have in common: The Office. A slightly larger fraction of the recorded programs are enjoyed by a pair of us, but definitely not by the third. And the lion's share of the DVR is taken up by a wildly divergent hodge-podge culled from all that our Comcast cable provider has to offer, recorded for individual viewing.
Our DVR is a constant juggling act of disc space and couch time. We're forever flirting with the 100% maximum capacity mark, which for us represents dual tuners packing 120 GB of storage - that's 60 hours of standard or 15 hours of HD programming. Some of us watch our shows promptly and remove them immediately. One of us likes to record everything in HD and why not? It looks great. The trouble with that is it makes for a heck of a lot of TV to keep up with on a weekly basis. With space at a premium, there's no luxury of rolling over into the next week. You've got to keep up. We have our priorities.
And then, there's a member of the household who if given a DVR quadruple the size of our current recorder could max it out in less than two weeks. There are movies in cold storage on the DVR that have been waiting for years to be recorded off onto the VCR, that ancient technology once held so dear and now gathering dust. As slick a set-up as we have (including a Sony PlayStation that we use to watch beautiful, vivid Blu-ray DVDs with visuals and sound even better than our beloved HD) we can't manage to get the DVR and the VCR to communicate. I think it's the VCR's way of getting back at us for dumping it years ago.
So, I thought it might be fun to spin back through time to see just what's archived on the most popular appliance in my house. This reverse chronological list clearly highlights the split personality currently residing on my DVR:
Recorded in June 2008:
* Deadliest Catch - Another season of crab fishing in the Bering Sea has begun recently on the Discovery Channel. It's the only reality program I follow and I'm thoroughly hooked.
* Tina in Mexico - A portrait of photographer and political activist Tina Modotti.
* Big Girl's Blouse - Sketch comedy from the creators and stars of Kath and Kim, Australia's answer to Absolutely Fabulous. Friends of mine who lived in Australia for a while turned me on to this series. Once I cracked the Australian accent and lingo, I was a fan. Catch it yourself before they massacre it on American TV this fall with Molly Shannon and Selma Blair in the title roles. And in the meantime, there's always BGB on the Sundance Channel.
* Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! - This Cartoon Network sketch comedy series (part of Adult Swim) is rude, crude, and fall-off-the-couch hilarious. (Seriously, I screened an episode for a friend of mine who's a fellow Kids in the Hall fan and she exploded in laughter and fell off the couch.) Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim are the mad geniuses behind the show with cameo appearances by John C. Reilly, Michael Cera, David Cross, Bob Odenkirk, Jeff Goldblum, Rainn Wilson, and "Weird Al" Yankovic. It defies description. Seeing is believing.
Recorded in May 2008:
* Robot Chicken - Another Adult Swim comedy gem that's guaranteed to offend. Absolutely nothing is sacred and every pop culture parody is spot-on. It's twisted, bizarre, sharp and created entirely with stop motion animation. Barbie dolls and action figures like you've never seen them before.
* Lost (season finale) - I gave up on this program in the middle of season 2. I hear it's gotten good again but whenever I catch an episode, I'm reminded what a relentless downer Lost really is. I gave up on 24 for the very same reason.
* 20% Fed. Adm. Tax - "Short film (from 1953) that was produced by the motion-picture industry to be shown to a Congressional committee that was debating whether to lower a tax on gross ticket sales." One of many odd, eclectic short films that Turner Classic Movies uses as filler.
* Nova: Lord of the Ants - Profile of Pulitzer prize-winning biologist E.O. Wilson. Narrated by Harrison Ford.
* Big Girl's Blouse - Another episode of the Aussie sketch comedy.
* 36 Hours (1964) - WWII melodrama starring James Garner and Rod Taylor.
* Resisting Enemy Interrogation (1944) - Oscar-nominated documentary starring Arthur Kennedy and Mel Torme. Who knew?
* Ugly Betty - Season finale.
* Crapshoot: The Gamble With Our Wastes (2003) - "A revealing look at how potentially toxic waste from sewers can end up above ground, on farms and in the food chain." Another feel-good documentary.
* Forensic Files: Time Will Tell (Albert Walker Case) - I have no idea.
* Good Eats - Food Network poster boy Alton Brown discusses all things nuts.
* Police Chases - Don't ask me.
* Big Girl's Blouse.
* Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! - Dr. Steve Brule rules!
* Angel on My Shoulder (1946) - "Paul Muni plays a gangster given a reprieve from Hell, provided he'll impersonate a judge upon returning to Earth." Also stars Claude Rains, which is enough for me to watch it right there.
* The Office (season finale) - As with most episodes of The Office, this one will linger on the DVR for multiple viewings.
* In Short: The Quay Brothers - "A collection of nine animated shorts by identical twins Stephen and Timothy Quay."
* Masterpiece - Part 2 of 3 of the BBC mini-series Cranford. Episode 3 was never recorded so I'll have to rent this one on DVD.
* Big Girl's Blouse.
* Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!
* Marihuana (1936) - "Early anti-drug exploitation flick is a dopey bummer about a young woman and the tragedies that befall her after becoming involved with smoking pot." Sounds promising.
* Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! - Episodes in this series are only 15 minutes long and tend to hang around on the DVR for a long time. You cannot watch them (or share them with friends) too many times.
Recorded in March and April 2008
* The Future is Now - "A 1955 look at government research laboratories working on new technologies, including computerized assembly lines."
* Teenagers on Trial - "This 1955 short examines juvenile delinquency, positing reasons for the problem and offering possible solutions." I'm seeing a definite theme here.
* The Ship That Would Not Die! (1945) - This documentary has no description. I'm thinking it's got to be WWII-related.
* A Look Into the 23rd Century - "A behind-the-scenes peek at the making of the 1976 sci-fi adventure Logan's Run, starring Michael York and Jenny Agutter, who are interviewed." Having never seen the movie, I'll pass on this.
* They're Always Caught (1938)- "Oscar-nominated short subject examining the role of the crime laboratory in solving cases."
Recorded in January and February 2008:
* Paper Trail: 100 Years of the Chicago Defender - "The Chicago Defender and its founder, Robert S. Abbott, are discussed in this documentary examining the newspaper's history."
* Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!
* Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!
* Site Specific: Las Vegas - "Italian artist Olivo Barbieri presents a unique vision of Las Vegas through aerial photography."
* Miracle Money (1938) - "This entry in the 'Crime Does Not Pay' series tells of medical quacks who swindle money out of unsuspecting patients by diagnosing them with cancer and offering them a bogus cure." Turner Classic Movies is worth every penny of the cable bill for these great short films alone.
Up next, traveling back in recorded time from 2007 to 2005.
-
See Kathryn Ware's fantabulous review of the debut season of Maude, as well as the rest of the What I Watched Last Night collection.
Posted by Lou at 01:45 AM | Permalink
June 05, 2008
Bob Barr Calls For New Tax Revolt
Cites Anniversary of Proposition 13, Goes on Stephen Colbert
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
BobBarr2008
Atlanta, GA - Thirty years ago this week California voters passed Proposition 13, "inspiring an entire generation of advocates of individual liberty and limited government," notes Bob Barr, the Libertarian Party candidate for president. It was a true people's revolt against the entire political establishment - politicians, lobbyists, interest groups, and unions.
"We need a similar popular revolt today," says Barr. Tax Freedom Day wasn't until April 23 this year, meaning that on average Americans spent almost four months just to pay their taxes. That isn't the end of the burden: "It also took six billion hours to comply with Uncle Sam's dictates," notes Barr.
"We must both reduce and simplify taxes," he adds. That could mean replacing the income tax with a consumption tax. It could mean a low, flat income tax. But, he emphasizes, "The bottom line is that taxes are too high and too complex. It's time for Americans to say that they are mad and aren't going to take it anymore, just like they did in California three decades ago."
Barr represented the 7th District of Georgia in the U. S. House of Representatives from 1995 to 2003, where he served as a senior member of the Judiciary Committee, as Vice-Chairman of the Government Reform Committee, and as a member of the Committee on Financial Services. Prior to his congressional career, Barr was appointed by President Reagan to serve as the United States Attorney for the Northern District of Georgia, and also served as an official with the CIA.
Since leaving Congress, Barr has been practicing law and has teamed up with groups ranging from the American Civil Liberties Union to the American Conservative Union to actively advocate every American citizens' right to privacy and other civil liberties guaranteed in the Bill of Rights. Along with this, Bob is committed to helping elect leaders who will strive for smaller government, lower taxes and abundant individual freedom.
Posted by Lou at 02:30 PM | Permalink
The [Thursday] Papers
Is Tony Rezko afraid of getting whacked?
I had somewhat similar thoughts as Mark Brown yesterday upon hearing about the weirdest aspect of the Rezko verdict.
Change-Monger
"I know that there are those, like John Kass, who would like me to decry Chicago politics more frequently. I'll leave that to his editorial commentary."
- Barack Obama, March 14
"I'm saddened by today's verdict. This isn't the Tony Rezko I knew, but now he has been convicted by a jury on multiple charges that once again shine a spotlight on the need for reform. I encourage the General Assembly to take whatever steps are necessary to prevent these kinds of abuses in the future."
- Barack Obama, June 5
A) I meant I'll leave that up to John Kass and the General Assembly.
B) The Tony Rezko I knew never would have gotten caught!
C) So you'll give your political mentor Emil Jones a call?
Gov. Baloneyvich
"He stopped only briefly for reporters who shouted questions after he left the podium.
"'I have a $2 billion budget deficit on my desk. I've got to get back to work,' he said. And then he returned to his private offices."
A) And turned on a replay of the previous night's Cubs game.
B) And sent the budget bill back to the General Assembly and called it a day.
C) And then called in legislative leaders and worked into the night hammering out a good budget for the people of Illinois. Oops, that's what Bizarro Blago did!
Heavy Lifting
"Foreman Michelle DiBartolomeo said the jury spent three days wrestling with [count 13], poring over a 14-page transcript of a phone call between Levine and [businessman] Robert Weinstein," the Tribune reports.
This was the count that the jury almost deadlocked on, sending a note to the judge at one point saying it could not reach a decision.
It was also just one of 24 counts the jury had to consider.
The Cynics
"The trial provided ample fodder for cynics who see Illinois' political insiders as a cozy club motivated more by greed than public service or ideology," the Tribune says.
Is that the way "cynics" see it, or is that actually reality? Seems to me the cynics are the ones in the cozy club - and the shoulder-shrugging members of the media who rejoice in their own sense of savvy by knowing the intricacies of how the game is played.
The Road From Ryan
"Two principal lessons emerged from Operation Safe Road:
"First, when campaign contributions are mixed with official government business (such as in the sale of truck licenses for contributions) the results can be toxic and tragic. Second, when insiders who are not on the government payroll are granted authority in government decision-making (such as awarding lucrative real estate and consulting contracts), government loses accountability. Decisions are based on the insiders' agenda, not the public's," writes former federal prosecutor Patrick Collins.
"Sadly, it appears these lessons have fallen on deaf ears."
Division Street
Go there after you read the rest of today's Beachwood.
* I live-blogged the Rezko announcement coverage on CLTV.
* BGA to Blago: Tell The Truth.
* Another disingenuous ad from the Children's Museum
And more!
Veepstakes
Russ Feingold would burnish the Obama brand.
Off The Rails
"The Second City ranks only third of the four finalists selected Wednesday in Athens by the International Olympic Committee's executive committee," the Tribune reports. "Technical evaluations by an IOC working group cited weak spots in Chicago's transportation plan; construction budgets that appear to be too low; and financial guarantees that don't meet IOC requirements.
"Apparently United States Olympic Committee Chairman Peter Ueberroth was on target this spring when he said the Chicago bid is nowhere near being No. 1 in the race for the Summer Games."
The CTA is clearly one of the biggest problems with the Chicago bid - though the IOC is concerned about holes in the entire transportation grid.
"The city's application said Chicago plans to spend $27 billion on road and transit projects by 2016, the report noted. But it specifically listed only $2.7 billion in actual work planned.
"Chicago also fell flat in describing how it would help Olympic spectators travel from venue to venue.
"'The working group had difficulty in identifying the location of transport projects and therefore assessing the coherence between transport projects and the Olympic Games concept,' the report said.
"It also noted that the sports venues along the lakefront were a long distance from rail stations."
Hit Job
Holy Christ.
Sin Bin
"God's word forbids his Christians from committing adultery, fornication, rape, homosexuality, pedophilia and incest among other sexual transgressions," Sun-Times sportswriter Lacy J. Banks writes on his cancer blog.
Here's what one his commenters said, and his response:
"Does the Sun Times really need this kind of blog? Have we not reached the point where a major newspaper won't offer a forum for someone who both thinks women are secondary to men (created apparently as an afterthought to comfort men) and places same-sex love, which this dude clearly doesn't get, on a par with bestiality and pederasty?
"Banks' response: Homosexuals are no more evil than adulterers, fornicators, thieves, liars, murderers, haters and any other sinners."
Question for Banks: Does the J. stand for Jesus?
The Beachwood Tip Line: Come all ye sinners.
Posted by Lou at 09:07 AM | Permalink
Sex and the City's Grim Fable
I'm starting to think something's really wrong with me. First, I dared to back Hillary while living in the land of Lincoln - a choice I'd encourage only if you have a burning desire to know who your real friends are. And, now, it's my utter indifference to the Sex and the City movie, which almost all of my women friends seem to care deeply about, that's made me an outcast. All weekend I've managed to avoid the issue by hiding out in my apartment but who knows how many more days I can hold out? Sooner or later, I'll have to see the movie that everyone from Roger Ebert to the Times's Manohla Dargis has slagged or else be shut out of conversations about Big as father figure or Carrie as modern-day Barbie doll.
It's not that I didn't like the series. I did, for a long time, until Carrie's calculated cuteness, Samantha's feverish acrobatics and the other two's kvetching wore me out. But I never felt, as many apparently do, that either Candace Bushnell or Sarah Jessica Parker had captured what it's like to be a single woman in post-Millennium America. Like the women in the series, I'm devoted to my girlfriends and my romantic relationships with men go south more frequently than not. But there the resemblance ends. I have no Manolos, no convenient, acerbic gay sidekicks, no editor to put me on the cover of Vogue nor anyone else willing to pay me great sums of money for writing thinly disguised accounts of my sex life. My life is one of counting calories and watching my blood pressure and the margins of my mutual fund fluctuate. Carefree, it isn't. But then, how often does either TV or the movies hold up a mirror to our lives? And who'd want to see it if it did?
That's why I am so surprised that women from 18-55 seem to connect with Carrie and company. I've given the matter some thought and have come up with two reasons why. First, it extends the myth created by How to Marry a Millionaire and That Girl that New York is a single woman's paradise where great clothes, great jobs and great men are yours for the taking. Second, I think most women are so dazzled by the glitz and wisecracks that they fail to realize that SATC is actually a grim fable about settling for men who are less than the total package - either they adore you and they're ugly or they're too young or too uneducated to be really interesting or they're sex on a stick but emotionally unavailable. Now that's a lesson that would make any girl's tutu wilt.
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Stephanie B. Goldberg is a Chicago writer and adjunct instructor in the Journalism department of Columbia College Chicago.
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Comments welcome. Please include a real name to be considered for publication.
Posted by Lou at 06:46 AM | Permalink
Chicagoetry: I Know I Am About To Be Looking Good
I KNOW I AM ABOUT TO BE LOOKING GOOD
People: dig
me.
Farmer's Tan
approaching August
Apex, I'm thinking late
next week.
I fucked up
a self-haircut
last Monday night
and had to
shave my head. Hogan
says I
look younger.
Just got out
of the North Avenue
midday sun, O
thus I shall
shine!
Like the red
grass and black
whores
of Mars!
Ditched my car
six months
ago, lost
twenty fuckin'
pounds.
Boom.
And there's chatter
in The Industry
that I might
have
a book
deal! Shit!
I smell
MONEY!
And the winter
drinking
weight!
O Dig me
soon, then I'll try
not
to shine
too bright,
now.
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J. J. Tindall is the Beachwood's poet-in-residence. He can reached at jjtindall@yahoo.com. Chicagoetry is an exclusive Beachwood collection-in-progress.
Posted by Lou at 06:37 AM | Permalink
In Praise of Pinetop Perkins
It's Pinetop Perkins Week here in Chicago: the legendary blues pianist - about to turn 95 - played during lunch at the Chicago Cultural Center on Tuesday, performed on Chicago Tonight last night, and is on the bill at the Chicago Blues Festival today and at the House of Blues tonight. He also has a new record out this month on Telarc. And he's got a cool-ass name.
Here's to you, Pinetop Perkins.
*
PinetopPerkins.com:"Pinetop Perkins is one of the last great Mississippi bluesmen still performing. He began playing blues around 1927 and is widely regarded as one of the best blues pianists. He's created a style of playing that has influenced three generations of piano players and will continue to be the yardstick by which great blues pianists are measured."
*
Down In Mississippi:
*
"Pinetop is perhaps best known for his work with Muddy Waters. In 1969, Muddy designated Pinetop to replace the great Otis Spann in his legendary band. Pinetop helped shape the Waters sound and anchored Muddy's memorable combo throughout the 1970's with his brilliant ivory work."
*
"The last job I had I learned how to drive tractor, and after the landlord killed my dog in Clarksdale, I was thinkin', "I might be next!" I loved that dog. So I took off."
*
"Perkins was born in Belzoni, Mississippi. He began his career as a guitarist, but then injured the tendons in his left arm in a fight with a choirgirl in Helena, Arkansas. Unable to play guitar, Perkins switched to the piano."
*
- Chicken Shack
- Got My Mojo Workin'
- Grindin' Man
*
From Reuters:
Pinetop Perkins Accepts Grammy Award for Traditional Blues: Bluesmen finally get their due at the Grammys
Two bluesmen in their 90s won the first Grammys of their colorful careers on Sunday, a reminder that there's more to the music industry than fresh-faced youngsters.
Pianist Willie "Pinetop" Perkins, 94, and guitarist David "Honeyboy" Edwards, 92, won the traditional blues Grammy for their appropriately titled album Last of the Great Mississippi Delta Bluesmen: Live in Dallas.
*
New Release (From PinetopPerkins.com):
"Pinetop Perkins celebrates his 95th birthday with his friends and Telarc Recordings with a new release Pinetop Perkins and Friends, slated for June 3rd. There are very few direct ties left to the golden age of post-World War II American blues - that seminal period in the 1940s and '50s when the acoustic sounds of the Mississippi delta migrated northward and gave way to the more electric groove of northern locales like Chicago and St. Louis. With the passing of John Lee Hooker and Robert Lockwood Jr. in recent years, almost no one can claim any first-hand connection to seminal figures like Muddy Waters or harpist Sonny Boy Williamson.
"Pinetop Perkins is among the few. Perkins, now in his 90s, has been playing blues and boogie piano for more than six decades. In that time, he's had numerous encounters and collaborations with the aforementioned legends, as well as titans like Robert Nighthawk, Earl Hooker, B.B. King, Willie Dixon and Howlin' Wolf.
"Pinetop is joined by a dozen high-caliber musicians, many of them legendary in their own right, all of whom hold him in the highest regard. Included on the star-studded guest list are Eric Clapton, Willie Kent, B.B. King, Jimmie Vaughan and many more."
Posted by Lou at 05:49 AM | Permalink
June 04, 2008
The [Wednesday] Papers
BREAKING 3 P.M.: There is a verdict in the Tony Rezko trial. The judge plans to read it at 3:45 p.m. today. Head over to Division Street for updates and witty observations.
-
Protean Enigma Wrapped in a Rorschach Test
"On the cusp of becoming the first African-American to capture a major party nomination, Mr. Obama remains a protean political figure, inspiring devotion in supporters who see him as a transformative leader even as he remains inscrutable to critics," Michael Powell writes in the New York Times today.
"He has the gift of making people see themselves in him and offers an enigmatic smile when asked about his multiracial appeal.
"'I am like a Rorschach test,' he said in an interview with The New York Times. 'Even if people find me disappointing ultimately, they might gain something.'"
The Strategy
"Almost from the beginning, Hillary Rodham Clinton's superior name recognition and her sway with state party organizations convinced Barack Obama's brain trust that a junior senator from Illinois was not going to be able to challenge the Clinton political machine head-on," the Washington Post explains.
"The insurgent strategy they devised instead was to virtually cede the most important battlegrounds of the Democratic nomination fight to Clinton, using precision targeting to minimize her delegate hauls, while going all out to crush her in states where Democratic candidates rarely ventured and causes that were often ignored."
It was a strategy, the Post says, that exploited the arcane rules of delegate allocation while ignoring the popular vote and shutting down Michigan and Florida.
The Political Odds
"The chance that Barack Obama selects Hillary Clinton as his running mate: 10 percent. While the notion has gained some steam in the media and she reportedly says she's open to it, it's still hard to wrap your head around."
See what else the Beachwood oddsmakers have to say.
Cult Credit
The Post also credits David Axelrod for devising a campaign based on personality, not policy.
The Making Of A Candidate
The reality of Obama's narrative is not that simple.
Urgent Obama Announcement
Another Great Moment
Dancing on Ellen
This Sizzled
This Not So Much
The Beachwood Tip Line: Crush on us.
Posted by Lou at 07:54 AM | Permalink
The Cubs Answer Man: Parade Prep
The Cubs Answer Man returns to answer all your questions as we once again go down that road . . .
*
With the recent surge by the 2008 Chicago Cubs, your mind has probably wandered to that same place my mind has wandered. It's obviously meant to be this year.
With that as a given, I realized it was time to get more information about the city's plans for the big celebration. I picked up the phone and called the spokesperson for the Mayor's Office of Special Events, Cindy Gatziolis.
Cindy, a Sox fan, was kind enough to answer all the questions that Cubs fans have swirling around in our brains. If I've missed any, feel free to e-mail me, and I'll call her to follow up.
*
Q: Will a scoreboard be set up on stage at Orchestra Hall for the away World Series games so fans can watch someone manning the ticker and turning on lights to represent which runners are on base like they did in 1908?
Cindy: We're moving it to the Bean, because it's a new century.
Q: Will the city paint part of the river red and part of it blue to make sure it doesn't mix and turn purple, or will they just go with straight Cubbie blue?
Cindy: The Chicago River is incapable of turning blue.
Q: Air raid siren or an emergency broadcasting alert?
Cindy: Recording of Ditka singing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame."
Q: Are you going to go with a ticker-tape parade like they had in 1932 to celebrate the pennant; the parade route the Sox used in 2005; a more traditional Grant Park celebration like the Bulls had; or something radical like a Chicago river cruise?
Cindy: I think we're starting at Lower Michigan by the Billy Goat.
Q: Good. I'm glad you brought that up. Let's just get this out in the open now. If someone arrives at the parade with a stinky smelly goat, will they be welcome or not?
Cindy: That is no way to talk about Sam Zell.
Q: Will the Cubs be traveling the parade route in an open-air double-decker bus, or brand new convertible DeSotos like they used for the 1932 parade?
Cindy: Edsels would be nice, because you don't want to lose that lovable loser tag entirely.
Q: Are any of the members of the Cubs' last World Championship team going to be invited to this parade, other than the obvious choices like Tinkers, Evers, and Chance?
Cindy: Do you know how much paperwork is necessary to exhume bodies?
Q: Has Tom Dreesen been booked yet for the celebration?
Cindy: Who?
Q: I assume that lawn chairs will be considered legitimate to save spots along the parade route. Is that correct? Does someone need to be occupying those chairs at all times or are the chairs themselves considered sufficient?
Cindy: There's going to be a charge to be at the parade, but you can get those tickets at Wrigley Field Premium Ticket Services.
-
Rick Kaempfer is the proprietor of JustOneBadCentury.com.
Posted by Lou at 12:11 AM | Permalink
June 03, 2008
Inside The Outsiders
"On June 7, S.E. Hinton will make a rare appearance and accept the Tribune's Young Adult Book Prize at the "Chicago Tribune Printers Row Book Fair," the Tribune notes. "The Outsiders, Hinton's first and most famous book, was first published 41 years ago, when Hinton was only 17. The book has sold more than 13 million copies and become a standard on middle-school reading lists."
In connection with that appearance, the Tribune published "The Brotherhood of S.E. Hinton" on Saturday, a fine essay by Lizzie Skurnick.
Here are some other Outsiders resources and tidbits.
Let's do it for Johnny, man. We'll do it for Johnny!
*
I couldn't help but think while reading Skurnick's essay about the gangs of today; how white gangs and cliques of the past - West Side Story, Grease - are romanticized, but today's predominantly black gangs seem so inscrutable to so many. True enough, the firepower and murderous results are greater in magnitude, but are the impulses to escape desperation for brotherhood much different?
Flood an oppressed community of Ponyboy Curtis's with crack while removing manufacturing jobs and disinvesting in social services and the result is the same.
*
From the Wikipedia entry for the book:
While flipping through the copy of Gone With the Wind Two-Bit had bought for Johnny, Ponyboy finds a letter Johnny wrote to him, explaining that "Nothing Gold Can Stay" in the Frost poem meant to always appreciate the things one finds wondrous when one is young. "Staying gold" is the way to be ("Stay gold, Ponyboy. Stay gold . . . "), and Johnny urges Ponyboy to tell Dallas this. It is, of course, too late to tell Dallas, and Ponyboy thinks about other kids in the world that are in similar situations. He thinks about Johnny, Dallas, Bob, and all the others who would die young; who would stay hoodlums forever. Inspired, Ponyboy calls his English teacher and is told that his composition can be as long as he wants it to be, so he starts writing it, beginning by recounting the events of the day that changed his life forever, and it is revealed that his composition is the novel itself, with the same starting sentence: "When I stepped out into the bright sunlight from the darkness of the movie house, I had only two things on my mind: Paul Newman and a ride home . . . "
Nothing Gold Can Stay
Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.
From the Wikipedia entry for the film:
Francis Ford Coppola never actually wanted to make a movie about teen angst. What changed his mind was a middle school class, great fans of The Godfather, wrote to him about making a sort of gangster film, except about The Outsiders. When he read the book, he was moved and not only directed the film, he also adapted Rumble Fish into a movie the year after, again with Matt Dillon, Diane Lane, and Glenn Withrow.
*
The actors playing the Socs were put in luxury hotel accommodations and given leather-bound scripts, while the Greaser-actors were put on the ground floor and received tattered scripts. Coppola is said to have done this to create tension between both groups before filming.
*
Official sites:
www.theoutsidersbookandmovie.com/
*
C. Thomas Howell sighting: It's hard to take.
But not as hard as this.
Sorry to be such a buzzkill. But nothing gold can stay.
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Posted by Lou at 06:24 PM | Permalink
The [Tuesday] Papers
"He was a hardscrabble visionary from the streets of Chicago's South Side who had to fight for everything he got," Greg Kot writes in the Tribune. "He created rock 'n' roll's essential rhythm, pioneered an approach to electric-guitar playing that anticipated hard rock, metal and punk and developed a vocal style and stage persona that influenced everyone from Elvis to Chuck D. It could also be credibly argued that he provided the rhythmic and lyrical foundation of hip-hop, notably on his insult-swapping 1959 hit 'Say Man.'
"With his boxer's build, black glasses, Stetson hat and hand-built, rectangle-shaped guitars, he looked and sounded like no one else in rock. His first band was a trio that roamed the streets and clubs of Chicago with guitar, rub board and maracas, and by all accounts rocked like the dickens - long before Presley, Berry and the rest were on the horizon."
Red Alert
Another day, another CTA derailment.
Father Mike Stand
"As for his performance from the Trinity pulpit at a Sunday night service May 25, Pfleger has apologized for 'the words that I chose' and for 'my dramatization,'" Cathleen Falsani writes in the Sun-Times.
In other words, he still thinks Hillary Clinton is a bigot, he just didn't mean to say it so effectively.
"All that is well and good, but how, as a friend and passionate supporter of Obama's campaign for president, could he do what he did, with cameras rolling?"
That's the question the pundits are asking because they are stuck in the mindset of weighing everything for political implication, especially if it could hurt Obama. But shouldn't the question be whether Pfleger (and the Obama campaign) really believes Clinton thinks a black man has no right to take away what was hers?
By not asking that question, the media tacitly approves the message that everyone knows Clinton is racist but that no one should say so out loud.
"Pfleger's short answer? He didn't think the service and his 'conversation' - a more casual address than a classic sermon, he explained - were being broadcast live online, as Trinity often does.
"'They told me it was down,' Pfleger said. "Their live streaming had been down all day, and they didn't know whether it was back up . . . I regret the dramatization that I was naive enough to believe was just going to be kept among that church."
In other words, Pfleger stands by what he says. He just didn't think what he said would leave the confines of Obama's church.
Obsession
"After acknowledging that there is no 'proof of post-presidential sexual indiscretions' by former President Bill Clinton, Vanity Fair's Todd S. Purdum repeatedly used anonymous sources to suggest that 'tabloid speculation and Internet intimations' about supposed 'indiscretions' are true.
"Five paragraphs into a nearly 10,000-word article about former President Bill Clinton, Vanity Fair writer Todd S. Purdum stipulated that there is no 'proof of post-presidential sexual indiscretions on Clinton's part' - but that did not stop Purdum from devoting a sizable portion of the article to relaying what he himself described as 'a steady stream of tabloid speculation and Internet intimations that the Big Dog might be up to his old tricks.'"
Likewise, local author Carol Felsenthal concluded a recent softball interview on Chicago Tonight by saying of Clinton: "He's dating." A proposition, by the way, that she failed to prove (third item) in her new 313-page book.
The Obama campaign finally got their wish, though.
*
This is all you get in the locals.
The Break-Up
It's not you, Trinity, it's me.
Get Me From The Church On Time
"Lincoln's Cooper Union speech is still looking good 150 years later. Obama's Philadelphia speech didn't last 150 days."
Power Play
"The office of Illinois Attorney General Lisa Madigan accused Commonwealth Edison Co. of killing state legislation that would have eased the way for a new generation of coal-fired power plants designed to operate cleanly," Crain's reports.
Madigan is also looking into rumors that ComEd is violating child labor laws.
Yesterday's News Tomorrow
"Nerds: Their culture is trendier than ever."
- Tribune, 2008
"It's hip to be square."
- Huey Lewis, 1986
Fritchey Fight
I'm pretty sure this post was originally called Rodnocchio.
I'm still disappointed "Gov. Baloneyvich" hasn't taken off.
Burial Rites
"The man who designed the Pringles potato crisp packaging system was so proud of his accomplishment that a portion of his ashes has been buried in one of the iconic cans."
That's funny; fans of the El will be buried in . . . an El train.
June Swoon
"In the short space of six years, three absolutely wonderful things have happened in baseball: the Angels, the Red Sox and the White Sox have all outlasted decades of gloom and futility to win the World Series," George Vecsey writes in The New York Times.
"Now comes the heavy lifting.
"The Cubbies.
"Exactly 100 years after their last championship - probably the longest barren streak in American professional sports - the Cubs have the best record in the major leagues, 36-21, and are on a seven-game winning streak.
"Now the question is, what can possibly go wrong that is different from all the horrible events that have taken place on the Near North Side?"
The Beachwood Tip Line: Two bits.
Posted by Lou at 07:35 AM | Permalink
June 02, 2008
Hey Bo Diddley
*
From The Australian: "I DON'T sound like nobody!" was Bo Diddley's maxim in the 1950s but over the decades dozens have tried to sound like him.
Often imitated but not always acknowledged, the influence of the Bo Diddley beat - driving and relentless like the chant of a chain gang - is heard clearest and most famously on the Rolling Stones' "Not Fade Away."
But that sound, which Bo Diddley called his "tradesman's knock", is just as discernible on U2's "Desire," or versions of the garage classic "I Want Candy" recorded by the Strangeloves and Bow Wow Wow two decades apart, or on George Michael's "Faith."
Elvis Presley and Chuck Berry aside, arguably none of the first generation of American rock 'n' rollers had a greater impact on the subsequent course of popular music."
*
Bo Diddley: The Beat That Will Go On:
Bo Diddley, who died on Monday, understood the power of suggesting the past and the future at the same time, combining country wisdom and space-age innovation on the same record.
The essence of his art can be found on the rock 'n' roll records he made between 1955 and 1962, before the Beatles and the Rolling Stones, who worshiped him, commercially buried him.
*
Bo Diddley was well known for the "Bo Diddley beat," a rumba-like beat (see clave), similar to "hambone", a style used by street performers who play out the beat by slapping and patting their arms, legs, chest, and cheeks while chanting rhymes. Occasionally (but incorrectly) referred to as a "shave and a haircut" beat, Diddley came across it while trying to play Gene Autry's "(I've Got Spurs That) Jingle, Jangle, Jingle". Three years before Bo's "Bo Diddley," a song that closely resembles it, "Hambone," was cut by Red Saunders' Orchestra with The Hambone Kids.
*
From Bo Diddley - The Originator:
In early on-line chats in 1997, Tom Petty happily answered questions from fans. One of the questions was: 'You've played with a lot of legendary rockers. Any others you would like to play with?" Tom Petty immediately answered, "BO DIDDLEY". At the 1997 Fillmore shows, the band often played the BO DIDDLEY song "Diddy Wah Diddy". When introducing the song, Tom Petty said: "There is no one we admire in the whole world more than Mr. BO DIDDLEY. If BO DIDDLEY was English, I think he should be knighted. Actually, this country should build a monument in every State to BO DIDDLEY. Elvis is King, But Diddley is Daddy".
*
Pioneer of a Beat Is Still Riffing for His Due (2003):
Every morning at 4 a.m., Bo Diddley walks into a ramshackle studio on his 76-acre property outside Gainesville to write music. Several electric guitars are scattered on the floor. The studio, a double-wide trailer, is crammed with recording equipment, a synthesizer and electronic gadgets of obscure types. Piled in every corner are boxes of tapes of Bo Diddley songs never released.
*
Quotes
1. "I hate it. I call it rap-crap," Diddley said in a 1996 interview. "I can't seem to get my records played but they'll play all this garbage."
2. Elvis was not the first," Diddley told Rolling Stone magazine in 2005. "I was the first son-of-a-gun out there. Me and Chuck Berry. And I'm very sick of the lie. You know, we're over that black-and-white crap, and that was all the reason Elvis got the . . .
3. "Tell everybody you never get too old to rock 'n' roll," Diddley told National Public Radio in 2007.
*
Bo, You Don't Know Diddley!
*
Posted by Lou at 11:05 PM | Permalink
The [Monday] Papers
The Rev. Michael Pfleger blamed YouTube on Sunday for his mockery of Hillary Clinton, saying he thought he was speaking "in the sacredness of a sanctuary."
A) Pfleger's been out of town for a few months.
B) "Sacred sanctuary" meaning the place you don't expect to be caught.
C) "I knew God was watching, but I didn't think everyone else was."
*
In fact, Pfleger titled his sermon "Beyond YouTube."
What, did he make an ass of himself on Facebook too?
*
"It is also grieving to me when a 1.5-minute YouTube video becomes the headlines across the world of papers and news stations, while the tragedy and death of earthquakes, cyclones and tornadoes that have taken the lives of people around this world, while the killing of our children across this country and here in Chicago and the easy access to guns have become stories on page 18 and 19, and while people are at my front door, looking for food to eat or gas to get to work," Pfleger said.
A) All that trouble in the world and we're distracted by who the next president will be.
B) Pfleger must be referring to RedEye because earthquakes and slain children are front-page news in the local papers I read.
C) I don't know about page 18 and 19, but page 20 of the Sun-Times is about how Obama's latest landslide loss, in the Puerto Rico primary, puts him that much closer to the nomination.
*
"I have some good news that will not be printed in the paper," said Rev. Otis Moss III, the successor to Jeremiah Wright. "I have some good news that will not be on TV. I have some good news that will be passed down from generation to generation . . . It's the news of a man by the name of Jesus . . . It changes all of the other news."
A) Well, Jesus is really just a rumor. I'm not sure we have the sourcing to publish.
B) Actually, the news about Jesus is in the papers and on TV every damn day. Enough with the hype.
C) Sneed hears that Jesus dined with some associates the other day but now one of them is a don't invite-em item.
D) Stella writes that Jesus thinks it's cool to read the Sun-Times!
E) Steinberg writes that Jesus isn't nearly as smart as he is.
F) Kass writes that Jesus always gives the spoils to his disciples.
*
"Some in Obama's camp apparently were surprised that live broadcasts from Trinity are still streamed on the Internet."
Yes. By Trinity itself. They even have a countdown to the next Webcast.
*
Barack Obama officially disowned Trinity Church on Saturday but remains associated with a far more sinister organization with a long record of divisive misdeeds and criminal behavior that is likely to become an issue in the general election . . .
Big Bad Jim
Thompson argues (lamely) in favor of clemency for George Ryan on the Sun-Times's Op-Ed page today. My favorite parts:
* "If the loss of public office, reputation, pension, Social Security and freedom is not enough to deter others, the continued incarceration of Gov. Ryan seems unlikely