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« March 2008 | Main | May 2008 »
April 30, 2008
The [Wednesday] Papers
"Obama's relationship with Wright first became an issue in the campaign in mid-March when a video of inflammatory sound bites from the minister's sermons circulated and was widely broadcast," the Tribune reports today.
Well, not really.
From Bob Somerby at The Daily Howler:
"What follows is part of the Rolling Stone profile which led Obama, at the last minute, to drop Wright from a public role in his February 2007 kick-off speech. The piece was written by Ben Wallace-Wells:
"WALLACE-WELLS (2/22/07): The Trinity United Church of Christ, the church that Barack Obama attends in Chicago, is at once vast and unprepossessing, a big structure a couple of blocks from the projects, in the long open sore of a ghetto on the city's far South Side. The church is a leftover vision from the Sixties of what a black nationalist future might look like. There's the testifying fervor of the black church, the Afrocentric Bible readings, even the odd dashiki. And there is the Rev. Jeremiah Wright, a sprawling, profane bear of a preacher, a kind of black ministerial institution, with his own radio shows and guest preaching gigs across the country. Wright takes the pulpit here one Sunday and solemnly, sonorously declares that he will recite ten essential facts about the United States. 'Fact number one: We've got more black men in prison than there are in college,' he intones. 'Fact number two: Racism is how this country was founded and how this country is still run!] There is thumping applause; Wright has a cadence and power that make Obama sound like John Kerry. Now the reverend begins to preach. 'We are deeply involved in the importing of drugs, the exporting of guns and the training of professional KILLERS. . . . We believe in white supremacy and black inferiority and believe it more than we believe in God. . . . We conducted radiation experiments on our own people. . . . We care nothing about human life if the ends justify the means!' The crowd whoops and amens as Wright builds to his climax: 'And. And. And! GAWD! Has GOT! To be SICK! OF THIS SHIT!'
"This is as openly radical a background as any significant American political figure has ever emerged from, as much Malcolm X as Martin Luther King Jr. Wright is not an incidental figure in Obama's life, or his politics. The senator 'affirmed' his Christian faith in this church; he uses Wright as a 'sounding board' to 'make sure I'm not losing myself in the hype and hoopla.' Both the title of Obama's second book, The Audacity of Hope, and the theme for his keynote address at the Democratic National Convention in 2004 come from Wright's sermons. 'If you want to understand where Barack gets his feeling and rhetoric from,' says the Rev. Jim Wallis, a leader of the religious left, 'just look at Jeremiah Wright.'
"According to Obama, Wright was dumped from the kick-off event because of this Rolling Stone profile."
Obama reiterated this at the Pennsylvania debate, referencing the Rolling Stone article in response to a question from his ABC moderators.
What Obama did yesterday - right or wrong - was a personal and political decision, but not one based on fresh outrage at Wright's controversial beliefs.
"What particularly angered me was his suggestion that my previous denunciation was somehow political posturing," Obama said.
I'm sure Obama felt personally betrayed - politically betrayed. But when Obama says Wright is not the same man he has known for 20 years, well, that strains credulity.
As the Rolling Stone article shows, this is indeed the same Wright - and that's what concerned Obama so much when he announced his campaign for president that he stuck Wright in a basement.
Tom Bevan of Real Clear Politics has an excellent run-down in "The Anatomy of Wright's Disinvitation."
From the New York Times a year ago: "[Obama] had sampled various faiths but adopted none until he met Mr. Wright, a dynamic pastor who preached Afrocentric theology, dabbled in radical politics and delivered music-and-profanity-spiked sermons.
"Few of those at Mr. Wright's tribute in March knew of the pressures that Mr. Obama's presidential run was placing on the relationship between the pastor and his star congregant. Mr. Wright's assertions of widespread white racism and his scorching remarks about American government have drawn criticism, and prompted the senator to cancel his delivery of the invocation when he formally announced his candidacy in February.
"Mr. Obama, a Democratic presidential candidate who says he was only shielding his pastor from the spotlight, said he respected Mr. Wright's work for the poor and his fight against injustice. But 'we don't agree on everything,' Mr. Obama said. 'I've never had a thorough conversation with him about all aspects of politics.'
"It is hard to imagine, though, how Mr. Obama can truly distance himself from Mr. Wright."
From Carol Marin today: "This isn't the first time the campaign has waited out a problem, declining to take a controversy by the horns.
"It took a relentless chorus of Chicago media almost a year to finally get Obama and his people to deliver long-asked-for documents and answer what were, at best, incompletely answered questions about his former friend and now-indicted fund-raiser, Tony Rezko. He finally did so in March.
"There are judgment questions, fair ones, to be asked about Obama's past dealings with controversial people.
"On Tuesday, his answers about Wright were filled with a purpose and passion that seemed to have been lacking lately.
"But what those answers have yet to resolve is the matter of decisiveness, of acting quickly, speaking forcefully, and perhaps not waiting for overnight polling numbers or a full-blown disaster, to decide the next day's course."
The Beachwood Tip Line: Cut and paste.
Posted by Lou at 09:51 AM | Permalink
Children's Museum Limericks!
There once was a Mayor named Rich
A kids museum was his pitch
A tall building in Grant
Is something you shan't
So he put all the kids in a ditch
*
They wanted to put kids in a museum
Below the ground where no one could see 'em
Allstate was hyper
To pay the town piper
But the critics fought back ad nauseum
*
Allstate said they needed more fame
In Grant Park they wanted their name
Fifteen million is small
For breaking the law
And putting their good hands all to shame
*
There once was Montgomery Ward
In his store he got awfully bored
Protecting Grant Park
Was to be his great mark
He was driven by a civic accord
*
A new museum for kids is a thrill
But in Grant Park the plan is a pill
The people say "No"
The Mayor says, "So?"
The council is voting my will
*
Richie and Gigi traveled in Paree
said "A Monument to Pritzker is what we'd like to see"
We'll call it a museum
But build a mausoleum
And let Allstate have a prominent marquee
*
There once was an Alderman named Reilly
Who dared tell the mayor ever so shyly
"Your museum in Grant
Is causing a rant"
To poor wily Reilly the Mayor so slyly is no longer
smiley
*
Gigi of the Pritzkers is the one
Her plan for a museum is not fun
She'll build it in Grant Park
Even after dark
Because that's how Chicago is run
*
There once was a museum at the Pier
For kids, it was without any beers
The mayor said "No"
To Grant Park you will go
With enough liquor for all of our "cheers"
*
At the Pier, the museum was a dream
It was great for Chicago's esteem
But the public got sicker
As the plot got thicker
And they discovered Grant Park was the scheme
*
There once was a mayor name Richie
Who's love for the "kids" was real kitschy
But when the public said "No"!
To a museum sunk low
It made Kitschy Richie quite Bitchy
*
There once was a Burnham named Dan
Who for Chicago had a great plan
He said Grant Park should be
ever open, clear and free
And to fight for that cause, if we can
*
The museum at Navy Pier was no lark
But the mayor said move to Grant Park
When the people said "can't"
To a bunker in Grant
The Mayor got so angry he lost his train of thought
and grumbled and mumbled
about a lot of things that didn't make any sense
Posted by Lou at 08:30 AM | Permalink
Sleeping Beauty at Rockwell Station
cc: ctahelp@chicago.com
Hello,
I e-mailed you on March 24 and March 26 regarding a sleeping employee at the Brown Line Rockwell Station. Well, at around 7:20 this morning, I walked into the station and a different employee was asleep. Sleeping Beauty looked rather happy in her slumber, leaning back in her chair, eyes closed, a small grin on her face. Slamming my hand on the kiosk door didn't seem to stir her from her slumber. Maybe she was dreaming of a magical fairytale place where the trains run without delay and people get to work on time (I have that dream too, sometimes). I wish I had brought my camera; I had finally put it away thinking that the issue was resolved. I was mistaken.
Now, I know that the CTA has much more important things on its plate besides getting the union to make sure their members stay awake to do their job. You have to master the fine skill of communicating to customers when a train is stuck in a subway tunnel for hours - something that the CTA has a hard time doing. You have to fix the tracks after decades of decay and and the use of cheap materials from incompetent contractors hired many years ago (are you ever going to sue the contractors for this?) You must fix all the many typos on the scrolling marquee (I didn't know that the word "all" was spelled with 3 L's - thanks for finally fixing that). You have to deal with the difficulties in following a 7-10 minute train schedule (this morning the Brown Line Run 419 was so late - again - that it ran express from Western to Southport - again. While I was sitting at Belmont, I heard an announcement that the Red Line train was going to run express from Belmont to Howard).
You must work your employees super hard that they can't stay on schedule or stay awake! They seem so tired all of the time. Well, guess what? I am tired, too. I am tired of seeing CTA employees sleeping on the job. I am tired of sending e-mail after e-mail and not seeing anything get done. I am tired of employees having no clue as to what line or station a customer needs to reach their destination. I am tired of sending rather polite complaints and receiving a generic "we appreciate your feedback" responses. I am tired of asking questions and never getting answers. I am tired of sending e-mails and letters and making phone calls to my representatives, state senators and the governor pleading them for more of my money to go toward mass transit. I am tired of writing Letters to the Editor at the major newspapers in support of mass transit. I am tired of attending CTA meetings and getting my friends and family to sign petitions to save mass transit. I am tired of having to explain why mass transit is so important to this city. I am tired of the broken doors (they've been broken for months now) at the brand new Rockwell Station because some incompetent employee installed the doors incorrectly. I am tired of sitting on an train wondering why we have been delayed for 10 minutes. I am tired of the drone of the automated voice over and over again telling me that we are delayed, without giving reason. I am tired of waiting 20 minutes to catch a train during rush hour. I am tired of having to constantly defend the CTA to everyone I know, despite the massive management and infrastructure issues. And I am tired of the excuses.
Here's a little secret: people would likely be more tolerant of the CTA if the little things that get people irritated - the seemingly easy-to-fix things (broken doors, sleeping employees, poor
communication) rarely happened.
Next time I see a sleeping employee, I will get a picture and send it to every major newspaper and television station in the city.
Please do not hesitate to contact me with any questions.
Warmest regards,
Erika Enk
-
Erika received this response:
Thank you for your complaint. As with last time, we will take corrective action.
- CTA Customer Service
-
Erika then received this update:
From: cta help
Date: Apr 30, 2008 7:22 AM
Subject: FW: Sleeping Beauty at Rockwell Station
Dear Ms. Enk:
Just as an update, the employee you observed sleeping yesterday at the Rockwell station was suspended and given a special warning that any subsequent violation of our rules would merit even stronger punishment.
The other employee you reported last month was similarly disciplined.
Please be assured that any complaint of this nature is taken very seriously, investigated by the appropriate supervisors and that we can and do take corrective action. We share your expectation that CTA employees should be alert and diligent in the performance of their duties and any reports to the contrary are always welcome and acted upon.
- CTA Customer Service
Posted by Lou at 06:01 AM | Permalink
Midland Authors Awards
PRESS RELEASE
SOCIETY OF MIDLAND AUTHORS ANNOUNCES AWARDS
The Society of Midland Authors announces the winners of its annual awards. The society will hold its annual banquet and awards presentation May 13 at the Hotel InterContinental in Chicago, emceed by Victoria Lautman.
CHICAGO-AREA AUTHORS HONORED: The winners include one Chicago-area resident, Judith Testa of St. Charles, who wrote the top biography, Sal Maglie: Baseball's Demon Barber. Finalists include Tony Romano of Glen Ellyn, who teaches at Fremd High School in Palatine; Marlene Targ Brill of Wilmette; and Ann Hagedorn, who began writing Savage Peace while she was living in Chicago. In addition, Myrna Petlicki of Skokie will receive the James Friend Memorial Award for Criticism at the banquet.
The following are the winners and finalists for books by Midwest authors published in 2007.
ADULT FICTION
WINNER
Matthew Eck, "The Farther Shore, Milkweed Editions
(Author's hometown: Kansas City, Mo.)
FINALISTS
Tony Romano, When the World Was Young, HarperCollins
(Author's hometown: Glen Ellyn, Ill.)
Benjamin Percy, Refresh, Refresh: Stories, Graywolf Press
(Author's hometown: Stevens Point, Wis.; formerly of Milwaukee)
Brock Clarke, An Arsonist's Guide to Writers' Homes in New England, Algonquin Books (Author's hometown: Cincinnati, Ohio)
ADULT NONFICTION
WINNER
Patricia Hampl, The Florist's Daughter, Harcourt
(Author's hometown: Minneapolis, Minn.)
FINALISTS
Barbara Oakley, Evil Genes: Why Rome Fell, Hitler Rose, Enron Failed and My Sister Stole My Mother's Boyfriend
(Author's hometown: Rochester, Mich.; formerly Port Townsend and Seattle, Wash.)
Ann Hagedorn, Savage Peace: Hope and Fear in America, 1919, Simon & Schuster
(Author's hometown: Ripley, Ohio; formerly of Chicago and Dayton, Ohio)
BIOGRAPHY
WINNER
Judith Testa, Sal Maglie: Baseball's Demon Barber, Northern Illinois University Press (Author's hometown: St. Charles, Ill.)
FINALISTS
Robert E. Bonner, William F. Cody's Wyoming Empire: The Buffalo Bill Nobody Knows, University of Oklahoma Press (Author's hometown: Northfield, Minn.)
Robert Collins, Jim Lane: Scoundrel, Statesman, Kansan, Pelican Publishing Co.
(Author's hometown: Andover, Kan.)
CHILDREN'S FICTION
WINNER
Gary D. Schmidt, The Wednesday Wars, Clarion Books
(Author's hometown: Alto, Mich.)
FINALISTS
Roderick Townley, The Red Thread: A Novel in Three Incarnations, Simon & Schuster
(Author's hometown: Shawnee Mission, Kan.)
Nancy Crocker, Billie Standish Was Here, Simon & Schuster
(Author's hometown: Minneapolis, Minn.)
Joan M. Wolf, Someone Named Eva, Clarion Books
(Author's home state: Minnesota)
CHILDREN'S NONFICTION
WINNER
Cris Peterson, Clarabelle: Making Milk and So Much More, Boyds Mills Press
(Author's hometown: Grantsburg, Wis.)
FINALISTS
Dawn Fitzgerald, Vinnie and Abraham, Charlesbridge Publishing Co.
(Author's hometown: Pepper Pike, Ohio)
Marlene Targ Brill, Marshall 'Major' Taylor: World Champion Bicyclist, 1899-1901, Twenty-First Century Books
(Author's hometown: Wilmette, Ill.)
POETRY
WINNER
Jeff Gundy, Spoken among the Trees, University of Akron Press
(Author's hometown: Bluffton, Ohio)
FINALIST
Donald Platt, My Father Says Grace, University of Arkansas Press
(Author's hometown: West Lafayette, Ind.)
JAMES FRIEND MEMORIAL AWARD FOR CRITICISM
Myrna Petlicki (freelance theater critic, Skokie, Ill.)
DISTINGUISHED SERVICE AWARD
Phyllis Ford Choyke (Elmhurst, Ill.)
The Society, founded in 1915 by a group of authors including Hamlin Garland, Harriet Monroe and Vachel Lindsay, has given out awards on an annual basis since 1957. The juried competition is open to authors who live in, were born in, or have strong ties to Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Michigan, Minnesota, Missouri, Nebraska, North Dakota, Ohio, South Dakota or Wisconsin. Notable winners over the years have included Saul Bellow, Studs Terkel, Gwendolyn Brooks, Mike Royko, Jane Smiley and Scott Turow. Prizes include a cash award and recognition plaque. Since 2002, the Society has also presented the James Friend Memorial Award for Literary Criticism at its awards banquet.
Emcee Victoria Lautman is the founder, host and executive producer of Writers on the Record With Victoria Lautman, which airs on WFMT 98.7 FM, featuring her interviews with authors in front of an audience at Lookingglass Theatre. Lautman also writes a monthly books column in Chicago magazine.
The Society of Midland Authors awards banquet will be Tuesday, May 13, at the Hotel InterContinental, 505 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago. Cocktails begin at 6 p.m. in the Camelot Room, followed by dinner at 7 p.m. Tickets are $60. To order tickets, fill out the form at the Society's Web page.
Posted by Lou at 04:56 AM | Permalink
April 29, 2008
The [Tuesday] Papers
UPDATE 1:52 P.M.: Geez, I fell asleep for awhile and woke up to what I think was Barack Obama making a total break with Jeremiah Wright. "The person I saw yesterday is not the person I met 20 years ago," he said. That claim will be tested, but . . . wow. CNN will replay Obama's remarks in their entirety at 2 p.m.
*
Plus, our very own Tim Willette reports from the campaign trail:
"McCain Seeks Tax Credit To Help Buy Health Insurance"
- AP - 37 minutes ago
He doesn't already have health insurance? Maybe Medicaid expires after a certain age.
*
Sigh. You know, I haven't really written about Jeremiah Wright, and I was really trying not to, but here are a few thoughts.
* I don't much care about even the crazier things Wright says. This shouldn't be about Wright, it should be about Obama. But it's not about whether Obama shares Wright's views; that's looking in the wrong direction. (I'll get to what I think is the right direction shortly.)
* I also don't think this has anything to do with showing that Obama is not a unifier because some of Wright's statements are divisive. In fact, I think that's baloney. I think Obama is not a unifier because he has no genuine political track record proving he is, just a record that's been spun like cotton candy. But his church has nothing to do with it.
* I think Wright is obviously wrong when he says this whole imbroglio is an attack on the black church, but again, this isn't about Wright.
* I think Obama apologists are also missing the point. First, liberals have criticized conservatives for years for their religious associates. If John McCain's personal pastor for 20 years was Pat Robertson, I'm sure Obama supporters would heretofore have raised holy hell. As it is, McCain reportedly seeking John Hagee's endorsement is bad enough. But now that Obama's got a problem pastor, a lot of Obamaphiles are screaming that their man is being held to a new, unreasonable standard. Hogwash. Even Obama himself says it's a legitimate issue.
* So here's the right direction part: What bothers me about Jeremiah Wright isn't Jeremiah Wright, but how Barack Obama has, to use a cliche, thrown him under the bus. Now, bear in mind, I'm not defending Wright's more outlandish statements. But I've long thought that Obama's disinviting Wright from his presidential campaign announcement speech in Springfield was exactly the kind of calculating political move that Obama is campaigning against. This was the man who brought him to Christ! The man whose sermon inspired the speech that launched his presidential campaign! The sermon that gave a title and theme to a book that made Obama millions! He married you and your wife, baptized your kids. And you disinvite him from your presidential announcement speech for admitted political reasons? Where is the hope?
Now Obama edges ever further away from Wright; just like Tony Rezko and Bill Ayers, he suddenly barely knows him! Note how Obama now calls him "my former pastor." And does anyone believe that Obama was unaware for all of these years what Wright was about? That contradicts the very reason why Obama disinvited Wright from his Springfield speech. Now, though, Obama says he would have left the church had he known what his personal spiritual advisor of 20 years was really like (even as his campaign released a photo of Wright at the Clinton White House to prove . . . something, just like they sent out that meet-and-greet snapshot of the Clintons with Rezko.)
We now also have a lot of "journalists" advising Obama on how to "get past" Wright and solve his political problems. I'm still trying to figure out just when journalists decided their job was to act as campaign strategists.
I'd really rather all this attention be focused on the Rezko trial and Obama's actual record and political relationships in Illinois, which is of far more import. (And for the record, what bothers me about Ayers in terms of Obama is that it seems to be another instance of Obama's opportunism in seeking the right political connections at the right times to advance himself that undercuts Obama's claim to the moral authority of a different kind of politician practicing a new kind of politics.)
* Obama's wish that Wright would go away also undercuts his Philadelphia speechifyin' about a dialogue on race, because that's mostly what Wright is talking about. Curiously, Obama is not saying, "Bring it on!" Maybe that would actually be a better way to engage blue-collar white voters - who are adults, after all - instead of going bowling. Maybe what voters still reluctant to support Obama want to know, in part, is where he stands on affirmative action, hate crime legislation, reparations, rap videos, and the disproportionate number of blacks who are impovershed or imprisoned. (I happen to believe their concerns are economic, not racial, but he's going to have to address this stuff at some point, especially given Wright.) What is his agenda? You may be able to "transcend" race, but you can't transcend the issues.
* I would prefer the kind of straight talk - a teaching moment, if you will - that Obama engaged in earlier in the campaign when he explained why he thought wearing flag pins had become a cynical exercise that had nothing to do with real patriotism. That was one of his best moments of the campaign, but that kind of talk has eluded him in the crunch.
It might have been nice - and more productive - if, instead of engaging in ever thinner permutations of what sermons he had heard and when, and what degree of denunciation and disowning he is willing to do, Obama simply told us what I suspect to be the truth: Wright is a brilliant preacher and church-builder who has been one of the most influential people in Obama's life, and when Wright would launch into his crazy talk, well, that's sometimes what people do, and we love them anyway, and it's better to have that conversation than shut it down and divide ourselves. Reveal what conversations they did have. I'm sure Obama never believed any of the wacky stuff - and listen, I don't believe the federal government created the AIDS virus, but at one point in time it was a valid question to ask, though not specifically to kill black people - but he also might have thought it wasn't his place to argue with his pastor.
In other words, just tell us the truth, because there is a sense - like with Rezko - that we really haven't heard Obama's genuine thoughts.
Then again, maybe I'm giving Obama too much credit to start with. "And when a reporter asked if Obama was a regular churchgoer," the Tribune editorial page says today, "Wright retorted, 'He goes to church about as much as you do.'"
The truth is, we still don't know exactly who Obama is. And that's why it's not a good idea to elect obscure state senators to the presidency on the strength of a convention speech and a platform of "hope," no matter how bad the last seven years have been.
-
Don't forget to visit me at Division Street throughout the day.
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The Beachwood Tip Line: Preach to me, people.
Posted by Lou at 08:46 AM | Permalink
Westward Ho!
I have always had a unique relationship with birds. As far back as I can remember, I have been entranced by, entertained by, fascinated by, and attacked by birds. For every time I arrive at my shit-splattered car, or am accosted by seagulls at the beach, and under my breath mutter how much I hate birds, there is another occasion in which I am mesmerized by the sight of a bird out my window or during a woodsy hike.
Naturally, there is a hierarchy for the tolerability of birds. I don't think there are many of us fighting causes in defense of those damn Canadian Geese, for example, who seemingly have more rights in America than you or I. When working at an old job, I ate lunch outside the office towers on most nice days. Surrounding a section of the building was a dirty man-made pond that was home to its own active community of the forsaken species.
Every hike out to our favorite lunch bench was a sure-footed exercise in avoiding mounds of goose crap. Worse yet was dodging the irate territorial creatures themselves, who hissed and charged at you with all the hate in the world swirling around in their beady black eyes. The trick, we quickly learned, was to walk briskly and without eye contact. Insolent beasts, they are. And if you hit one with a car, you get a ticket! Where are the squirrel activists on this one? Why do we protect this obnoxious clan of feathered rodents, and not milder, often cuter common roadkill candidates?
I'll never forget the satisfied look upon my detective friend's face during his retelling of how thousands of feathers exploded in every direction when one of those geese fatefully met his truck's grill on the way to the station one day. I don't think he wrote himself a ticket.
Then there are the ever-belligerent seagulls. I truly feel bad for seagulls because although they are dirty and annoying, it is humans who have ruined the seagull's rap. I cannot even convey the level of contempt I hold for all those fat-ass American families who sit on their beach blankets and for amusement (because reading or being civil are not an option for many Americans) throw food at the gathering hordes (not flocks) of seagulls, who jump on a tossed Cheetos Puff as though they are tempting starvation and need it to live another day.
I can see how this mild form of animal abuse can garner a laugh from some simple-minded folks, but this practice is just plain evil to the seagulls. Not only are humans feeding them processed crap that no living organism should eat, but they are shattering the species' reputation by distinguishing them as pesky beggars. This is why seagulls get fed Alka-Seltzer tablets on a regular basis.
But the reason I brought up birds in the first place is because I have been quite intimate with birds of all varieties since moving to Washington. Chicago's landscape provided less than desirable opportunities to appreciate birds. But somewhere between the natural environment and the slower pace of life here, I often find myself wishing I had a thorough encyclopedia of birds. I've known adults to have such things. And I suppose it is just a certain coming of age that many of us will go through. I have reached that age now, where a bird encyclopedia is topping my birthday wish list. Boring adulthood, here I come!
My house here sits upon a ravine in the backyard, and on the side of a large brush ideal for sheltering small animals. One of the very first occurrences that charmed me in Washington was the daily meet-and-greet with a California quail.
Last spring, the quail sang loudly from our brush. Like any brutally normal person, I enjoyed answering its calls with a simple response: "Hi, Quail!" And without fail, it called back. Sometimes I would start the conversation if the brush was silent upon my appearance. But the result always remained the same - a 10-minute exchange with the quail, who proved to be quite the chatterbox indeed.
About a month or so passed when suddenly one day, my quail stopped talking. I pointed a finger at my cat, who knew as well as I did, that my quail would make for a tasty afternoon treat. But alas, his paws were clean. Some more time passed without a peep, and no sooner than I had given up on it a dozen quails emerged marching from the brush - two adults leading the pack of teeny baby quails who hobbled behind on new sticks-for-legs.
My quail had not left after all, but was merely shacking up with its mate to have sexy-time and a litter of babies. To think! I was probably irritating the hell out of the quails, calling unremittingly in my piercing Chicago voice, especially since the whole purpose of my quail's initial dialogue was to catch itself some tang. It was most likely not even interacting with me after all.
You can imagine that this realization did nothing for my self-esteem in regards to friend-making. First my cat dies, and then my quail ditches me for some ass. However, I could not avoid being warmed to the cockles at the sight of the small quail soldiers, clumsy and new to the world. One afternoon after work, my eyes were caught by the entire lot of them, tight-roping atop a fence, making funny quail chatters as they went along.
Another new and exciting encounter I now have regularly is the observance of bald eagles and their kids. Out on the peninsula, eagles oversee all the action from their tree-top perches. They line along the coast of the Strait of Juan de Fuca and stalk fish in shallow waters. I love surveying the trees as we drive along, and watching the eagles dive-bomb and dominate their prey as it flaps helplessly underneath their giant talons. Makes me proud to be an American even more than being able to buy a gun at a local sporting store.
All in all, my once-timid approach to birds - having been attacked by one at an early age and growing up with Lake Michigan's finest seagulls - has now given way to an appreciation and wonderment over the feathered species. I watch hawks soar over my house and Snohomish Valley completely in awe of their coordination and precision. Out on a hike, redheaded woodpeckers top the trees, busily banging away at the bark. Flashes of intense blue cross my bedroom window and my eyes trace the flash to the Steller's Jay perched in the nearest tree.
I walk outside to my car at five every morning to a choir of chirps and tweets and coos from all around me. And like any perfectly sane individual, I yell back from my car door: "Good morning, birds!"
-
-
Previously:
* Part One: Departure
* Part Two: Rebuff
* Part Three: MySpace
* Part Four: Peninsula
* Part Five: Homeward
Posted by Lou at 06:34 AM | Permalink
The Cub Factor
If you read last week's Cub Factor, you know my wife and I had a baby boy last week. Well, little Mitchell is home now and mom and dad aren't getting a whole lot of sleep. Okay, the Cub Factor is getting pretty personal now, but I promise I won't talk about my son every week. But I will again this week. I mean, give me a break. Anyone who's had a child knows that the first few weeks are just plain nuts. And honestly, lack of sleep over a sustained period is a form of torture. Which was kind of like watching the Cubs lose their weekend series to the Washington Nationals. Just torture. Losing to the Nationals is like waking up every 45 minutes for 10 hours straight and then getting punched in the lower back. It's super annoying and you are so sleep-deprived delirious that when you hear the wailing from the other room you wake up so fast you say things like, "Take a strike Felix!" and the game's been over for hours.
*
Week in Review: The Cubs went 4-3 this week, taking three of four from the two 2-game series' with the Mets and Rockies and losing two of three to the Nationals. Wins against the Nats should count for less and losses should count for more. Kind of like certain states in the Democratic primary.
Week in Preview: The Cubs come home for three against the Brewers and travel to St Louis for a weekend set with the Cardinals. As long as the Nationals aren't on the schedule, expect goods things.
The Second Basemen Report: Suddenly, we have a new contestant. Ronnie Cedeno started four of the seven games this week as good old Uncle Lou mixed it up just the way we like it. Mark DeRosa, who has also seen time in left field with Alfonso Soriano out, started one game at second and Mike Fontenot started two. These are the weeks that make The Second Basemen Report special. It's a mixed bag without much rhyme or reason. You know, just like Hendry drew it up.
In former second basemen news, Steve Dillard last played for the Cubs in 1981. He was a minor league coach and manager with a few teams after he retired from playing. He is missed.
Zam Bomb: The fuse stays extinguished as Big Z wins two games this week. But a bunch of walks in his last outing is a good reminder to keep the bomb squad number programmed into your phone.
Lost in Translation: Smokino mirro is Japanese for 2008 Chicago Cubs.
Sweet and Sour Lou: 72% sweet, 28% sour. Lou is down 6 points on the Sweet-O-Meter due to losing to shitty teams. And like your real crazy drunk uncle, Lou is happy you got off to a great start in your grade-school district spelling bee, but he knows you can't spell "contender" with what you did last week.
Beachwood Sabermetrics: A complex algorithm performed by the The Cub Factor staff using all historical data made available by Major League Baseball has determined that losing to the Nationals means something more than just losses.
The Cub Factor: Catch up with them all.
Center Stage: Reed Johnson made five starts this week in center and pulled off one of the greatest catches ever. Felix Pie started two games this week and actually got a few hits. This might actually be a contest for the starting centerfield job. Oh wait. No it isn't.
Over/Under: The number of Cubs fans who are idiots for wearing Japanese headbands: +/- all of them.
With Apologies To Nena: 99 Years of Cub Losses (99 Jahre von Bengeln Verlusten).
Mount Lou: Lou moves up to alert level yellow as pressure from a fault line in Washington, D.C., stirs inner anger lava. Smoke may billow this week to show villagers that Mount Lou still has magma in it's veins. Probably Thursday.
-
Send comments, questions and advice on molding an infant into a left-hander to Marty.
Posted by Lou at 06:03 AM | Permalink
April 28, 2008
The [Monday] Papers
"Wm. Wrigley Jr. Cos., in a move it said will provide 'enhanced prospects for growth,' confirmed this morning that it has agreed to be acquired by privately held candy-industry giant Mars Inc. for $80 a share, or $23 billion," the Tribune reports.
Which joke will get more play, Mars Field or Snickers Stadium?
*
Here's an idea: Mars should buy the Cubs too.
Kosuke Fukudome's at-bat taking too long? Have a Snicker's!
Sign of the Times
"The yellow-and-orange bus would stand out anywhere even without the giant letters proclaiming its purpose: RepoHomeTourChicago.com. A handful of buyers have showed up to board the 12-seat shuttle parked at Woodfield mall amid the drizzle on a recent Saturday morning," the Tribune writes.
"As they take their seats, the home shoppers are handed a slick binder listing the repossessed properties they will see in the next two-and-a-half hours. 'Welcome to Chicagoland's Premier Foreclosure Tour,' it says. 'Today we visit Hoffman Estates and Schaumburg.' A few minutes after 11 a.m., the bus pulls onto Golf Road, and they're off.
"Not long ago, many people viewed shopping for a foreclosed home as a distasteful act, a form of benefiting from someone else's misfortune and misery. As thousands of distressed properties have glutted the market nationwide, driving down home prices for the first time in generations, that stigma appears to have greatly lessened, or maybe disappeared."
Gun Play
"Daley Backs Plan To Give Assault Rifles To All Cops."
"Gang Leaders Back Plan To Give Assault Rifles To All Foot Soldiers."
Say they won't be outgunned by police.
Root Causes
"A reinvigorated gang war over territory south and west of downtown is at least partly to blame for the rising mayhem that is ensnarling ever-younger schoolchildren on neighborhood battlefields," the New York Times reports. "An overwhelming majority of Chicago's public school students - some 85 percent, according to federal statistics - live in poverty."
Just stop and think about that for a second. Eighty-five percent of Chicago's public school students live in poverty. Eighty-five percent. That, my friends, is the issue.
*
"Police officials refused to release up-to-date murder and shooting statistics," the Trib reports, "saying those numbers won't be official until the middle of next month."
See, for now those kids are only unofficially dead.
Pay To Play
The Tribune does the math:
* Donations of exactly $25,000 given to Gov. Rod Blagojevich since 2000: 235. (Compared to 14 to his predecessor.)
* Percent of those donations that came from someone who later got a state contract, job or board appointment: 75.
Dale's Bow
"His Most Vile Tax Is A Toll On Belief."
Free Speech Costly
"Of the 20 finalists to sit on a new nine-member board to oversee Cook County hospital operations, 16 have contributed money to Illinois politicians," the Sun-Times reports.
"A Stroger spokeswoman said politics won't determine who is selected, adding it's 'incorrect and illegal' to 'infer that there is a direct connection between contributions to elected officials and the names submitted.'
"'A donation to an elected official is an act of free speech,' Stroger spokeswoman Ibis Antongiorgi said."
A) And she can't help it if some acts of free speech are louder than others.
B) And if that's how much free speech costs, so be it.
Hooker Hell
"Every reliable study of women working in prostitution finds that more than 90 percent have been victims of childhood sexual assault," a DePaul researcher tells the Trib. "Most entered the sex trade in their teens, after fleeing abuse and having no other way to support themselves. Many are alcohol and drug dependent."
Speaking Latin
"A Cook County judge ruled Friday that work can continue on a controversial soccer field in Lincoln Park but refused to guarantee that the private Latin School will have priority use of the park space," the Tribune reports.
Circuit Court Judge Dorothy Kinnaird made the call.
"Kinnaird also criticized the [park] district for not holding enough public hearings. 'There is something very troubling about the case,' she said, citing 'secrecy' and 'lack of information' provided to residents.'"
*
Nugget: "Under a 2006 agreement, the Park District would have to reimburse Latin School for the design and construction fees the school has spent if the project is terminated."
And Park District officials will automatically be enrolled in Negotiating Skills for Dummies at the Discovery Center.
Ain't That America
"The United States has less than 5 percent of the world's population. But it has almost a quarter of the world's prisoners," the New York Times reports.
"Indeed, the United States leads the world in producing prisoners, a reflection of a relatively recent and now entirely distinctive American approach to crime and punishment. Americans are locked up for crimes - from writing bad checks to using drugs - that would rarely produce prison sentences in other countries. And in particular they are kept incarcerated far longer than prisoners in other nations.
"Criminologists and legal scholars in other industrialized nations say they are mystified and appalled by the number and length of American prison sentences.
"The United States has, for instance, 2.3 million criminals behind bars, more than any other nation, according to data maintained by the International Center for Prison Studies at King's College London.
"China, which is four times more populous than the United States, is a distant second, with 1.6 million people in prison."
*
"San Marino, with a population of about 30,000, is at the end of the long list of 218 countries compiled by the center. It has a single prisoner."
Ask Beachwood
Oh for godsakes, Conflicted Catholic, just do it already!
God wants you to, trust me.
Poll Position
"15% Say They've Driven Drunk"
84.9% say they lie to pollsters.
The Beachwood Tip Line: Unofficially.
Posted by Lou at 09:26 AM | Permalink
Reviewing the Reviews
"How you feel about Sheila Weller's Girls Like Us: Carole King, Joni Mitchell, Carly Simon - and the Journey of a Generation may depend on how you respond to Weller's dedication, which reads: 'To the women of the 1960s generation. (Were we not the best?)' If that's the sort of thing that gets you all hepped up to pour a glass of chardonnay and order some gauzy embroidered tunics and Clarks sandals from the Soft Surroundings catalog, then you go, girl! If, on the other hand, the nakedly self-congratulatory quality of that dedication makes you want to play a record by the Slits or Hole or Sleater-Kinney, really loud, you may be in a different category, or just a different age group - not the 'best' one," Stephanie Zacharek writes in the New York Times
I'll take loud. Really loud. And I'm a fan of the 60s.
Still, Zacharek finds much of value in this book, though to my eyes it looks like the value has everything to do with emerging songwriting talent and nothing to do with anything generational. In fact, Zacharek argues that of the three, only Carole King really changed the world.
"By 1961," she writes, "King was not yet 20, although she was already a wife and mother and had written, with her husband, the Shirelles' No. 1 hit 'Will You Love Me Tomorrow.' At the time of its writing, Goffin was still working full time at a chemical company; King was at home, taking care of the couple's infant daughter. The two were building a dual career as songwriters in the little spare time they had. King wrote the music; Goffin supplied the lyrics. King wrote much of the melody for 'Will You Love Me Tomorrow' during the course of an afternoon. She recorded what she had and then dashed off to a mah-jongg date with a friend, leaving a note near the tape recorder for her husband to find upon his return from work. The song had to be ready to present to the Shirelles the next day. 'Please write,' the note said.
"Goffin loved what he heard on the tape. 'I listened to it a few times,' he tells Weller, 'then I put myself in the place of a woman - yes, it was sort of autobiographical. I thought: What would a girl sing to a guy if they made love that night?' And so this glorious song, as astonishing a summation of women's insecurities as has ever been written, and one that shocked listeners with its frankness, came to be. The melody, at once pleading and confident, had come first: it was so powerful that it inspired a man to slip into the skin, and the heart, of a woman.
"Later, King would leave Goffin and reinvent her life, several times over. She went on to make a bold, beautiful and enormously popular LP, Tapestry (1971), one of those rare albums that both connect with an era and survive that era's baloney. Later still, she'd move to Idaho and become an environmental activist. But in 1961 she was a muse who had turned a man - just for the space of a song - into a woman. And that may be even harder than changing the world."
Sexual Science
I've read several views of Mary Roach's Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex, but this is the only one that makes the book sound like any fun (which could very well mean it isn't.)
"She straddles the border between insider and outsider reporting, offering description explicit enough to interest a physiologist but perpetually amazed and amused enough to reach those of us who don't spend all our time mulling matters like the orgasms of paraplegics, the AMS Malleable 650 Penile Prosthesis, the intercourse rates of rats wearing little polyester pants, or whether uterine upsuck (if it exists) affects fertility," Alexander Kafka writes.
"I recall one instance (in a footnote) of the 'F'-word, used in the context of a chimp's digital stimulation, and lots of common slang like 'wang' and 'boner.' But while I wouldn't necessarily give the book as a confirmation or bat mitzvah present, it generally tilts toward the tasteful when it could tilt otherwise. Fundamentally, it is, as Roach puts it, 'a tribute to the men and women who dared. Who, to this day, endure ignorance, closed minds, righteousness, and prudery. Their lives are not easy. But their cocktail parties are the best.'"
Book Bites
* The title of former Major League Baseball Commissioner Fay Vincent's new book is We Would Have Played For Nothing: Baseball Stars of the 1950s and 1960s Talk About The Game They Loved.
Not if they found out how much money the owners were making off of them. Come to think of it, I think that's what happened.
And new in paperback:
* Consumed: How Markets Corrupt Children, Infantilize Adults, and Swallow Citizens Whole.
* Teenage: The Prehistory of Youth Culture, 1875 - 1945
Posted by Lou at 07:49 AM | Permalink
The White Sox Report
Through his first 24 games as a member of the White Sox, Orlando Cabrera has fit in perfectly in Chicago. Acquired for his gold-glove defense at shortstop and to bring speed and intelligence to the top of a powerful order, Cabrera has been as good as advertised so far. He's struggled a tad at the plate, but boasts an OBP .100 points higher than his batting average, and his defense has been as stellar as ever.
Cabrera has also fit seamlessly into Ozzie Guillen's heavily Latino clubhouse. But just this week, we found out that Cabrera also has a lot in common with some of Chicago's other top athletes. Ladies and gentlemen, Orlando Cabrera likes to party.
After the (Red) Sox won the World Series, Cartagena celebrated its native son. Civic leaders sent a fire truck to pick Cabrera up at the airport and take him directly to a ceremony at City Hall. But not long after that, Red Sox management decided that the free agent was no longer in their plans. There were rumors that Cabrera partied too much, according to a source close to the organization.
Consider this the golden-age for partying athletes in Chicago.
None is more famous than Bears reserve quarterback Kyle Orton, whose stained t-shirts and obscene hand gestures got him inducted into the Deadspin Hall of Fame in 2006.
Orton is hardly the Bears only partier. There's Brian Urlacher (plowed Paris Hilton in Las Vegas), Tank Johnson (went to Ice Bar one time too many), and Ricky Manning Jr. (celebrated a newly signed contract with the Bears by beating the piss out of a computer nerd at Denny's). Seriously, who goes to Denny's sober?
Recently, however, there have been reports that Orton has put his beer bong away, and, in an effort to revitalize a reputation fit for a clown, has become a crusader for environmental awareness. While the reports are likely horribly inaccurate (not to mention downright hilarious), it's good to see Chicago adding some new blood to the party scene in the form of Cabrera.
*
Week in Review: A near-perfect game from John Danks and a game-winning RBI by Brian Anderson in the same week? This could be a good year. The Sox lost two of three to the Yankees, and took two of three from the Orioles. For any Cubs fans reading this, that means the Sox finished the week 3-3 (burn!).
Week in Preview: On Tuesday, Sox will pack their bags for a five-game road trip to Minnesota and Toronto.
Over/Under: The number of text messages Mark Buerhle's cell phone plan allows him to send each month: Unlimited.
Shouldn't they call him Mr. Thome on second reference? Screw the New York Times, Jim Thome is totally a Hall of Famer.
Plan Your Evacuation Route Now, Ehren: Last time we saw Ehren Wasserman, he was taking the CTA to work and shutting down right-handed batters everywhere. Wasserman will finally grab his rightful bullpen slot this week because of the demotion of Mike MacDougal.
That's Ozzie: "I keep saying the best [Yankees] player who ever happened - bigger than someone else, but I'm not going to say the name here - is Derek Jeter. Derek Jeter has everything in his life. He's got money. He's got rings . . . he's not married.
Beachwood Sabermetrics: A complex algorithm performed by the White Sox Report staff using all historical data made available by Major League Baseball has determined Carlos Quentin will never stop getting hit by pitches.
The White Sox Report: Read 'em all.
Posted by Lou at 07:02 AM | Permalink
What's Wrong With You?
Doctor Gives 4 Tips To Gauge Your Health Before It's Too Late
Sudbury, ON - The kind, gentle old family practitioner keeping an eye out for the patient's overall health is a thing of the past. These days, doctors are as swamped with HMO paperwork as they are with patients.
The New England Journal Of Medicine reports the average doctor's appointment lasts less than 22 minutes. An American Medical Association report cites patients changing health insurance providers as a reason few have the same "family doctor" watching over them year after year. It's becoming the patient's responsibility to keep an eye on their own changing health, guide their doctors, and do their own bodies "preventive maintenance."
In his new book, Medical Crisis: Secrets Your Doctor Won't Share With You, Dr Anthony Martin asserts that breast cancer and prostate cancer are nearly 100 percent preventable. It takes more than five years for most cancers to grow to the size of the tip of a ballpoint pen. By the time cancer is found by routine blood tests or feeling a lump, the patient may have missed precious time.
"Your car has dashboard warning lights to alert you that the oil is low, or you're out of gas," says Dr. Martin. "The body has those same warning signals. You just have to know how to read them."
Here are Dr. Martin's four warning signs to find out if you are on the path to cancer, stroke or other illnesses:
1. Energy. "If you've been tired for three weeks straight, your body is trying to tell you something is wrong." Long-term fatigue is tied to red blood cells. Red blood cell problems can lead to liver, kidney or brain trouble. Check yourself: Ask your doctor for a simple blood test.
2. PH Balance. Seventy percent of the human body is water. Water, like in your swimming pool, is either acidic or alkaline. An unbalanced PH (Potential Hydrogen) is a breeding ground for cancer, cardiovascular disease, diabetes and premature aging. Check yourself: Ask your doctor for a saliva test.
3. Free Radicals. The body produces free radicals as a process of detoxifying itself. When balanced, they are used by the immune system to destroy bacteria and viruses. Unbalanced free radicals can lead to cancer, coronary heart disease, stroke, arthritis or Alzheimer's. Check yourself: Ask your doctor for a urine test.
4. Inflammation. You need cells to "puff up" to stop bleeding - but too much can strangle the arteries and cause coronary heart disease. Fat cells are a side affect of obesity. Too many fat cells or cells that are too "puffy" can lead to asthma, diabetes and cardiovascular disease. Check yourself: Ask your doctor for a blood test.
Most doctors know these warning signs, but few sit back to contemplate how these symptoms work together to affect your health.
"More than half of people who make appointments with their doctor complain of fatigue," says Dr. Martin. "But doctors rarely bother to ask why you're tired, or how that affects long-term health. They wind up prescribing sleeping pills, or dealing with the short-term affects of exhaustion. They don't stop to think that lack of energy is a big, red, flashing warning sign that something is seriously about to go wrong with the body."
Dr. Martin suggests once you've got a realistic idea of where you stand you can start giving yourself the antidote. "Change your attitude, change your diet, change your exercise habits and change your supplements . . . So much of what Americans are dying from these days is 100-percent preventable. These four tips really can save your life."
About Dr. Anthony Martin
Dr. Martin is certified as a Natural Medicine Practitioner as well as a qualified Chiropractor. He is a respected and renowned nutraceutical consultant, nutritional practitioner, author and medical spokesperson. He is a world famous research leader in the fields of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Fibromyalgia and environmental toxins and has spoken at seminars across the United States, Canada, France, China and South Korea. Dr. Martin is also a frequent guest on television and radio across the U.S. and Canada, where he also hosts his own radio show, Ask The Doctor. He heads up his own practice, The Martin Clinic, in Sudbury, Ontario, and is passionate on educating people about the importance of proper nutrition. His says his personal purpose in life is to help people regain their health. Dr. Anthony Martin's website can be found at www.drmartin.ca.
Posted by Lou at 12:53 AM | Permalink
April 26, 2008
The Weekend Desk Report
We have a feeling we'll go undrafted again this weekend, so that should leave plenty of time to watch the key stories.
Market Update
Apparently, it's our fault the dollar's in the shitter. We're just not thinking enough happy thoughts. Come on, people! Let's all take our government allowance and go buy some freakin' optimism!
The Nouveau Pauvre
With soaring fuel prices and food rations becoming a part of the daily experience, Americans are now hoping to grab a seat at the global poverty table. However, some of the Old Poor powerhouses have not been quick to welcome the new upstart. "Four dollars for gas? Please," sniffed the citizenry of Paris. "We were paying that way back in, like, 1954."
"Look, we're not saying they haven't earned their poverty," sub-Saharan Africa insisted, "It's just that you have to have something to lose it all, you know?"
Meanwhile, southern Asia bristled at the notion of an American food crisis. "Oh, that's rich," Bangladesh cried, "what do they spend on food anyway? Like, 9 % of disposable income? Seriously, that's pretty rich."
Fueling the Race
Incidentally, we think we have a pretty good idea where all that food is going.
No Such Thing as a Free Ride
In other news, duh.
Quality, Not Quantity
Finally this week, the Chicago Police Department has found a novel way to combat the appalling increase in gun violence over the past month: get more guns. But, you know, totally fucking bitchin' ones.
Posted by Natasha at 09:04 AM | Permalink
April 25, 2008
The [Friday] Papers
I'll be on Eight Forty Eight's Month in Review panel this morning on WBEZ. See my post at Division Street for my picks in the various categories we are likely to discuss.
I may put up a fresh Papers column up on my return, or I may just post at Division Street the rest of the day, I just don't know. It's early and I haven't had any coffee yet. Bear with me.
We do have great new material today on the rest of the site. Check it out ->>>
The [Thursday] Papers
1. "It's pretty stunning stuff."
- Former federal prosecutor Patrick Collins on the latest bombshell to come out of the Rezko trial, on Chicago Tonight last night
2. "Take care of the U.S. attorney? That's so Illinois Combine, isn't it?"
- John Kass, who's been right all along
4. The city now says it can finish its troubled O'Hare expansion project by 2014, which experts find unlikely.
"In any case, the revised timetable for O'Hare represents an abrupt about-face," the Tribune reports. "Mayor Richard Daley targeted 2013 to finish the reconfiguration of O'Hare when he announced the project in 2001 . . . But four years ago, the city abandoned the 2013 completion date and left the deadline open-ended because of delays, litigation with the expansion opponents and unexpected complications."
5. Despite previous passionate statements vowing reform, Daley is now just plain giving up on vetting firms that get city contracts set aside for minority- and women-owned firms to make sure that they are in fact owned by minorities and women.
7. Impeach Blago.
8. "Stroger Swears His Top Aides To Secrecy Forever."
9. "The Mosquito, sold for $1,500 in the U.S. as Kids Be Gone, emits a high-pitched noise that teens - but not adults- can hear."
Oh, and Todd Stroger can hear it too. Let's get one!
11. "'Fast-food properties remain the single-tenant investment of choice, with healthy sales forecast for 2008 as rising prices push consumers to more affordable dining options,' said Marcus & Millichap, the commercial real estate brokerage firm."
- Tribune, (last item)
12. I guess this means we won't be seeing Lauren Conrad and Whitney Port dispatched here to line up runway models.
13. "What gives you the credentials to start an event of such magnitude?"
- Among the FAQs on The Official Website of Chicago Fashion Week
14. "Mark DeRosa said the recent WGN special celebrating 60 years of televising Cubs baseball should be must-see TV for all his teammates," the Tribune reports (last item).
"I stayed at home the other night and watched that Cubs Forever show," he said. "Every once in a while teams should be forced to watch stuff like that and realize how much it means to the city and to the ex-players that have been here, and how lucky we are to get a chance to put on the uniform and play in front of these people."
Hey Mark, any chance you can take Brian Urlacher out for a few beers and rap?
15. "Al-Qaida Accuses Iran Of Spreading Rumors."
Next, on The Hills.
16. 50 Cent is for Hillary, but Usher is for Barack.
17. "The gigantic home that supplanted the old Artful Dodger bar in the Bucktown neighborhood can now be yours -if you're willing to pay more than $3 million," the Tribune reports.
"The new home at 1734 W. Wabansia Street was built thanks to a controversial zoning change granted by then-Ald. Ted Matlak (32nd) . . . Complaints about those houses and other new teardown homes that dwarf their neighbors likely contributed to Matlak's re-election defeat last year.
"Even in defeat, Matlak defended his decision at 1734 W. Wabansia, saying he granted the zoning change because the homebuilder 'wanted to live next to a childhood friend.'"
So that's what "Zoned for CF" means.
"If that was his motivation, then builder Wally Kos since has experienced a change of heart. The home went on the market April 18 at an asking price of $3.249 million, according to the Multiple Listing Service."
You, Wally Kos, are today's Worst Person in Chicago.
18. "Obama's Indiana operation, meanwhile, spent most of Wednesday warming its engine," Kristen McQueary writes. "Maybe they drowned their losses in beer the night before. By 11 a.m., an aide at Obama's Chicago headquarters knew nothing about his schedule or the campaign's events for Indiana.
"Me: Where is the senator today?
"Aide: He was in Indiana this morning, and I think he is on his way to D.C.
"Me: Is there a particular vote he's going there for?
"Aide: I don't know.
"Me: Where will he be tomorrow?
"Aide: Nothing is finalized.
"Me: I thought I read that he was launching a bus tour of Indiana.
"Aide: There was talk of planning one. That information was not confirmed with the campaign.
"Me: When will he be heading to Indiana?
"Aide: That's not confirmed. Nothing is finalized.
"Me: Do you have a headquarters in Indiana?
19. Discovering The Abandoned CTA (via CTA Tattler).
20. Does Michael McDonald buy his shirts at the same store as Jeremiah Wright?
The Beachwood Tip Line: Mess with the bull.
Posted by Lou at 07:41 AM | Permalink
The Debate We Won't Have
Barack Obama's campaign has put the kibosh on more debates, including one that CBS was hoping for in North Carolina. It's too bad; the debates have mostly been terrific during this campaign, and we've learned a lot about both the candidates themselves and their policy positions. Here are just a few questions for both candidates we'd like to have seen posed if another such contest was held.
FOR OBAMA:
1. Your campaign and many of your supporters were highly critical of the questions at the last debate. Which questions do you think were inappropriate, and why.
2. You have reportedly described Tony Rezko, who is now on trial in Illinois in a massive political corruption trial, as your 'political godfather.' What did you mean by this, and have you been honest about the nature of your relationship with Rezko?
3. Please tell us what you mean when you say that your religious beliefs inform your view that gay marriage should not be legal.
4. Is it true or just one of those Internet rumors that you refused to appear in a photo with San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsome?
5. When it comes to health care, aren't you giving away a bargaining chip when you start from a position of being against mandated insurance?
6. Is your position on getting us out of Iraq appreciably different than Hillary Clinton's? If not, do you really think her vote on the war authorization bill really has any impact on what she would do now as president?
7. You once said of John McCain that the Straight Talk Express had run into a ditch. Democrats are already painting McCain not as a courageous maverick but as a flip-flopping pol who has sold his soul in the Bush years. Do you agree?
8. How would you characterize your relationship with the Democratic Machine in Chicago and Illinois as you moved forward in your political career there?
9. Why have you never spoken out - like, say, U.S. Rep. Jesse Jackson, Jr. - against the corruption of Richard M. Daley's City Hall?
10. Isn't Illinois State Senate President Emil Jones, your self-described political mentor, just the kind of practitioner of the old-time politics that you decry?
11. You are selling yourself as a change agent, but every profile I read of you describes you as a cautious, pragmatic legislator. How do you square the two?
12. You won an earmark for University of Chicago Hospitals, where your wife works; you spoke out on the Senate floor in favor of legislation that would have benefitted a company you had stock in; you've admitted an ethical error in involving yourself in a real estate deal with Tony Rezko, yet you boast of your involvement in ethics legislation both in Illinois and the U.S. Senate. Is something missing in your own ethical compass?
FOR HILLARY:
1. Recently, Bill Clinton said it was the Obama campaign that played the race card on him, not the other way around. Do you agree?
2. Is your position on getting us out of Iraq appreciably different than that of Barack Obama?
3. If you really, truly had your druthers, would you support a government-run national health care program? If not, why not?
4. Would it bother you if John McCain ran an ad portraying himself - a bona fide military hero - as the best person to answer the phone in the White House at 3 a.m.? And why wouldn't his experience lead us to believe he would be the best person?
5. Is there any appreciable difference between your approach to handling the economy and the approach of Barack Obama?
6. If it were really, truly up to you, would you support gay marriage? If not, why not, and if so, why don't you stand up and fight for it?
7. If you were to win the nomination, wouldn't naming Barack Obama your running mate be the absolute best way to unite the party?
8. Democrats never really talk about helping the poor first anymore, it's always about helping the middle class. Shouldn't we put the poor first? Who is their fighter?
9. When you discussed Bill Ayers at the last debate, Barack Obama pointed out that your husband pardoned two members of the Weather Underground. Was that the right thing for your husband to do?
10. Don't your husband's post-presidential business deals pose a conflict of interest for you?
11. Do you believe superdelegates should be eliminated in the future?
12. Was Bill Clinton ready on day one to be president? Jimmy Carter? Richard Nixon? Would John McCain be ready on day one?
Posted by Lou at 07:22 AM | Permalink
How To Be A Gentleman In A Changing World
Should you take your Blackberry on vacation? Is an e-mail an acceptable means of writing a thank-you note? When and where is it OK to use your cell phone or camera phone? While the tenets of gracious behavior never change, the situations a gentleman faces in today's post-9/11 world certainly have.
Conducting Talk Show interviews on the topic of proper etiquette in a changing world is John Bridges, author of the bestselling book on manners in America, How to Be a Gentleman.
During your interview with John Bridges, he addresses 21st century issues such as airport security, smoking policy changes, Bluetooth and Blackberry usage, cell phones, e-mail and text messaging - as well as untucked shirts, low-hanging pants and baseball caps. Timeless topics such as how to properly receive a compliment, make introductions and set a dinner table, of course, remain.
"Sometimes it seems like technology has taken over our lives," says Bridges. "Times change, and fads come and go, but a gentleman will still sail confidently through it all - holding the door open for others, saying 'please' and 'thank you,' and making the world a calmer, more civilized place. And when he does that, he doesn't just make it a better place for other people - he makes it a better place for himself, as well."
The first edition, printed in twelve languages, is thought to be the best-selling book on manners ever published.
ABOUT YOUR INTERVIEW GUEST . . .
John Bridges is the author of not only How to Be a Gentleman, but the entire Complete GentleManners Series and a frequent guest on television and radio news programs.
As an expert on the role of gentlemanly behavior in modern society, John Bridges has appeared on the Today Show, CBS Sunday Morning and Good Morning America, among other national shows. He is the director of cultural affairs for his hometown city of Nashville, TN.
Posted by Lou at 06:12 AM | Permalink
April 24, 2008
What I Watched Last Night
For a brief moment Wednesday night, I thought about tuning into American Idol on Fox, but I would have just spent the hour planning an Internet petition drive supporting the euthanasia of Paula Abdul. A worthwhile project indeed, but something like that involves far more effort than I'm interested in. So I went with Magic's Biggest Secrets Finally Revealed, a show which manages to magically return from the dead from time to time on lower-budget stations like WPWR/Channel 50.
As the program demonstrated, the ingenuity involved in pulling off some of magic's more amazing illusions can be incredibly simple, so it's no wonder why the magician community abides by the same code of silence still held sacred by tradition-minded cops and members of organized crime. That's why Magic's Biggest Secrets is hosted by someone known only as The Masked Magician, an individual clad in black and a full-head latex mask to hide his (or her) true identity. What might drive a magician to the depths of personal discontent responsible for Magic's Biggest Secrets is less a mystery than what might drive a magician to show up in a Creature from the Black Lagoon mask that even Ed Wood would consider cheap and tawdry. When Mexican lucha libre wrestlers stuffed sausage-like into spandex go investing more thought into wardrobe, there are some things even Ed Wood would be justified bitching about.
Yet, it probably hasn't occurred to the magician community that even if Jesus Himself showed up on a rerun-heavy commercial channel like WPWR directly opposite American Idol to give away the secret of turning piss into gold, the secret would still be safe from the world. (Then again, Jesus never went around sawing women in half or skewering them with big Knights of Columbus swords without a single drop of blood turning up on the blade, so there.)
Surprisingly, here's the biggest secret I learned from last night's Magic's Biggest Secrets: The person doing all the truly amazing work isn't the magician. He's the show, not the dough. No, the one really making the magic happen is the magician's female assistant who gets shoved into a box or basket and manages to not get sawed in half by a deathly sharp lumberjack saw or end up impaled by swords the whole cast of Braveheart would admire.
That's because it's genuinely dangerous work - and as the show's narrator explained, that's exactly why you'll never see a chubby magician's assistant. Magicians may personally prefer women built for speed instead of comfort, but that's not why they hire them to be assistants. It's simple science: Chubby women shoehorned into highly confined spaces are more apt to get most of their chubby asses sliced off.
As advertised, Magic's Biggest Secrets did indeed give away plenty of magic's biggest secrets. I'll give away as much as I dare without possibly pissing off some magician into making my apartment and everything in it disappear or something.
Pull a rabbit out of a hat!
There's a reason rabbits are the only wildlife being pulled out of magician's hats: They'll sit very, very still for anything, even if you put them in a blender.
Pulling a rabbit out of a hat is easy. Pulling off the same thing with a cat or a rattlesnake would truly be special.
Transform a woman into a tiger!
Another fairly simple thing to do if you have a cage with a trap door big enough to hide a skinny assistant, a fake wall, and enough handlers to feed a 500-pound tiger enough raw meat on a long stick to distract it from being crammed behind a fake wall.
I don't know whether The Masked Magician or his assistant inside the cage were more skilled or just luckier than Siegfried and Roy, but not ending up as a bloody mess being dragged by the neck across the stage probably says something about you.
Levitate a woman!
There's a reason why the only people magicians are able to levitate several feet off the ground are women lying flat on their back while wearing a long, flowing gown. It has more to do with the guy behind the curtain running a big piece of industrial machinery than women of questionable fashion taste looking for a quick nap.
The day Magic's Biggest Secrets shows how Criss Angel levitates himself while standing upright on a street corner without a curtain behind him is the day everyone stops thinking he just might be the spawn of Satan.
Escape from a straitjacket!
Should you be involuntarily committed to the asylum, hold your arms stiffly away from your body while the staitjacket is being put on. Give things an hour or two to die down and you'll have enough wiggle room to soon go running around the place freer than Angela Jolie in Girl, Interrupted.
Make an elephant disappear!
No, this illusion cannot be used to make the spouse you've come to despise vanish. That's okay, because that sort of magic is easier to accomplish with little more than a hacksaw, a few bags of quicklime, a shovel, and a Cook County forest preserve. But if you've got smoke, some mild explosives, and an elaborate system of mirrors built into the cage that can be triggered by a hidden stagehand, you can wow friends and neighbors alike by making the entire Lincoln Park Zoo elephant house vanish.
Of course one elephant would be plenty, but where would guys like David Copperfield be if they didn't think big, dammit?
To be fair, at one point the elephant does actually disappear - right out the back of the cage.
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Posted by Lou at 08:25 PM | Permalink
Stanley Cup 2008: Round 2 Preview
Round 2 of the Stanley Cup playoff kicks off tonight and there's a little bit of everything mixed into the matchups. This time of year is usually all about grit and perseverance. Teams in short supply of both usually have difficulty surviving in the playoffs, but this is also the time of year when the best talent can shine on the biggest stage, and unknowns can go from anonymity to playoff stardom.
Let's briefly recap the first round:
* Detroit changed goalies midway through the series and survived against the Nashville Predators in six games.
* San Jose fought off a serious challenge from the Calgary Flames, aided by the Game 7 heroics of ex-Blackhawk star Jeremy Roenick and his 4-point performance.
* Colorado won three games in overtime to advance past Minnesota in a series that went six games.
* Dallas is riding a high after knocking off the defending champion Ducks in six games.
* Montreal sent Boston packing after a 5-0 Game 7 trouncing of the Bruins.
* Pittsburgh made quick work and looked very impressive in a sweep of the Ottawa Senators.
* Philadelphia and Washington played a wonderfully entertaining series that saw Philadelphia win in overtime in Game 7 on the road.
* The New York Rangers defeated the rival New Jersey Devils in five games, including three on the road.
With only 8 teams remaining, each team probably feels it has a good shot at the Cup and the margin for error becomes a little bit narrower this time around. Let's take a look.
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Western Conference
(1) Detroit Red Wings
(6) Colorado Avalanche
Detroit dominated Colorado in the regular season, shutting them out in three of four meetings. However, Colorado wasn't playing the cohesive style of hockey they are now, getting timely offense and stellar goaltending. Colorado will look to pepper Red Wings' goaltender Chris Osgood, something Osgood was shielded from for the most part in the opening round when he came on to relieve Dominik Hasek to save the series for Detroit. It'll be interesting to see how much wiggle room Detroit coach Mike Babcock will give Osgood if Colorado strikes early and often. Detroit is 13-17 (2-3 series record) in its playoff history against Colorado, but beat Colorado both times it went on to win the Cup in 1997 and 2002. Both teams have an even shot at winning this series, though Colorado must stay out of the penalty box to have a chance. This is where having home ice advantage can and should make the difference.
Pick: Detroit in 7
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(2) San Jose Sharks
(5) Dallas Stars
These teams split the season series 4-4 with both teams winning three games on the road. Dallas has a lot of momentum right now after dethroning the defending champion Ducks, and they are getting contributions from unlikely heroes like ex-Blackhawk Stephane Robidas. The status of Dallas' top blueliner, Sergei Zubov, is still in question. Zubov last stepped on the ice versus San Jose back in January. He's battling a foot injury that required surgery, so even if he is declared well enough to play it'll be interesting to see just how mobile he is. San Jose's Brian Campbell is looking to rebound from a first round that saw his puck turnovers result in opposing goals, and he never seemed to get clicking like he did down the stretch. If the seven-game first round tilt was a wake-up call for the Sharks, look for them to pounce on the Stars. San Jose has all the pieces and just needs go for the kill. Dallas must find a way to frustrate Joe Thornton and stop San Jose's young forwards like Ryan Clowe, Joe Pavelski, and Devin Setoguchi. The goaltending matchup of Evgeni Nabokov (SJ) vs. Marty Turco (Dal) could be a classic, as both goalies have looked solid early on in the playoffs.
Pick: San Jose in 7
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Eastern Conference
(1) Montreal Canadiens
(6) Philadelphia Flyers
Montreal is a talented team that found a way to survive relinquishing third-period leads to Boston in the first round. The emergence of the Kostitsyn brothers - Sergei and Andrei - has given the Canadiens secondary scoring threats to go along with the dynamic Alexei Kovalev. Carey Price had a few shaky third periods in net for Montreal in the first round, but he also had two shutouts. The Habs will go as far as Price can carry them. The Flyers pose an interesting challenge. It might be useful to throw out the regular season series sweep that Montreal had over the Flyers. The Flyers have looked a lot more dangerous in the playoffs and they are playing like a team capable of pulling an upset or two. Martin Biron has been steady in net and the Flyers are getting production from top playoff point producer Daniel Briere, as well as contributions from Vaclav Prospal and Mike Richards. Both teams fought through tough first-round matchups, so it'll be interesting to see which team looks more energetic early. If talent wins, than Montreal should survive, but don't be too surprised if Philly hangs tough.
Pick: Montreal in 6
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(2) Pittsburgh Penguins
(5) New York Rangers
This series marks the return of Jaromir Jagr to Pittsburgh, the place where he started his career. Jagr's already provided Pittsburgh's dynamic duo with bulletin board material by saying neither Sidney Crosby nor Evgeni Malkin compare with his former legendary Penguin superstar teammate, Mario Lemieux. There's also a little playoff history at work in that the Penguins have never lost to the New York Rangers in four playoff series meetings. However, the Rangers gave the Penguins a lot of difficulty in the regular season, winning six of eight games, and that has to give New York a lot of confidence heading into this series. In a series where the stars usually get the headlines, it's the grunt workers that might matter most. For the Rangers, they'd love to get contributions from Sean Avery and Ryan Callahan. For Pittsburgh, it might mean timely offense from Jarkko Ruutu or George Laraque. The Penguins are deep offensively, so the Rangers must play well defensively to stymie the Penguin attack. In net, the Rangers boast Henrik Lundqvist, who has the right kind of moxie to shut the door on Crosby and Malkin. Pittsburgh got exceptional play in the first round from Marc Andre Fleury, but he'll face a pressure cooker versus the Rangers when the series moves to Madison Square Garden, where he's yielded six goals in two games this season.
Pick: A New York Rangers upset in 6
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See how Pytel did in the first round.
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1. From Eric Emery: Tell my friend Eric P. that the Penguins will win in 6. Additionally, you will see Hossa score at least 4 goals in the series. I know Hossa has a rep of disappearing in the playoffs, but he did play well vs. the Sens, and was robbed at least 3 times. He is playing well. If the Rangers worry too much about Crosby and Malkin, Gonchar, Hossa, and Malone can score too. Besides, you win series' in the following order: hot goalie, fundamental defense, and balanced scoring. The Pens have been doing all of these in the final 15 games of the season. Pick: Pens in 6.
2. From Eric Emery (May 5): Let's face it, my prediction skills tend to be completely brutal. Let the record show that the Pens won in five, and Hossa scored four in the series, including the series winner yesterday.