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September 29, 2007

The Weekend Desk Report

We'll try not to get bleary-eyed and fall asleep on the watch this weekend.

Market Update
Critics responded with skepticism to presidential hopeful Hillary Clinton's proposal to flood the market with new consumers, pointing out that each $5,000 birthday grant will probably be worth around $17.50 at maturity.

Disabilify
Drug manufacturer Bristol-Myers Squibb has agreed to pay $515 million to settle claims that it blatantly violated the rules of the English language with its antipsychotic drug Abilify. Company spokespeople have apologized, saying they misunderestimated the seriousness of the offense.

Pardon Possible
Lawyers for the beleaguered drug company are reportedly considering seeking a presidential pardon, although they feel President Bush may be too concerned with his foreign policy efforts to pay much attention to domestic affairs.

Doomsday Redux
In some parts of the world, people risk their lives to resist punitive increases in transport costs. You know, just sayin'.

Oh, Big Brother!
IBM and Chicago officials have announced plans for a massive upgrade to the city's surveillance system. New software will allow security cameras to recognize any anomalies, like, say, when a cop beats the shit out of someone three times in a night.

Taxing Proposals
Finally this week, a citizens' coalition has urged Cook County Board President Todd Stroger to forgo a 2% hike in sales tax, at least until he's figured out how to collect the taxes the county is owed already.

Posted by Natasha at 08:13 AM | Permalink

September 28, 2007

The [Friday] Papers

So much for "cops on the dots."

As reported in the Tribune today, the Chicago Police Department's Special Operations Section - created as the centerpiece of the mayor's strategy to fight an embarrassingly high murder rate - is a disaster.

Seven SOS officers have already been charged with false arrests, robbing and kidnapping in what is described by the Tribune today as a "widening state and federal probe."

For more than a year insiders have buzzed about a unit drenched in massive scandal.

On Wednesday, SOS officer Jerome Finnigan was charged in a murder-for-hire scheme whose intended target was a former SOS officer cooperating in the probe.

And then today, this:

"The arrest report filed by two Chicago police officers claimed they searched Raymundo Martinez outside a Southwest Side bar because he threw a bottle of Corona down on the sidewalk when he saw them coming," the Tribune reports.

"The officers, members of the special operations section, saw a plastic bag that turned out to contain cocaine poking from his sleeve and arrested him, their report states.

"But cameras on the bar's ceiling and outside caught a very different scene that night in 2004 at Caballo's, 3748 W. 63rd St. Instead of two officers approaching a man drinking on a public street, the video shows more than two dozen police from the SOS unit raiding the bar and searching everyone, and arresting Martinez inside the bar.

"The bartender said an officer who appeared to be in charge said, 'This is just routine. We're going to check everybody.'

"The video contradicts the arresting officer's version of what happened that night, but it also raises constitutional issues about whether officers improperly searched dozens of people. The video also adds to a list of questions about SOS officers' conduct, which is the focus of state and federal investigations."

This is not good.

Of course, it shouldn't surprise anyone. History teaches us that elite police squads such as SOS tend to fill up with unrestrained cowboys who make The Shield look like child's play.

Roving bands of aggressive cops swarming "hot spots" is never a good substitute for the fundamentals of policing: beat systems that make sense, unlike the unformed system in place now that the mayor refuses to change, and true community policing, unlike the fake version that the city barely pretends to even employ anymore.

SOS wasn't exactly popular inside the department either. "Some rank-and-file officers resent specialized units such as SOS, claiming it takes clout and connections to win a spot on them," the Tribune reports. "Many officers joke that SOS stands for 'sons of sergeants.'"

It's the mayor's police department, just like it's the mayor's CTA. I guess he's too busy trying to dig up Grant Park to notice.

Sons of Sergeants
"Nobody in Mayor Richard Daley's administration can be trusted to keep city hiring free from politics except the inspector general, a court appointed official has concluded," the Tribune reports.

That's the inspector general the mayor is trying to undermine.

"Noelle Brennan cited the city's 'history of noncompliance,' a series of violations and fears that only Inspector General David Hoffman is independent enough to guarantee compliance," the Sun-Times reports.

"Brennan cited examples, including the case of a high-ranking employee who dared to report a violation to the monitor and was punished.

"Individuals in the mayor's office retaliated against the employee by attempting to 'exclude her from meetings . . . have her stripped of certain duties and attempting to isolate her from the rest of her working group,' the report said. The only explanation for the treatment was that the employee 'could not be trusted.''

"Several other examples were cited.

"'Even after the appointment of the monitor, the city continued to violate the Shakman decree by appointing individuals into 'exempt' positions that simply did not exist,' the monitor wrote."

"'To 'correct' this problem, a former deputy chief of staff violated the decree further by moving open Shakman-exempt slots from one department to another, an action prohibited' by court order."

A deputy chief of staff. To the mayor.

*

Daley responded by accusing Brennan of racism and not liking children.

Child's Play
"The mayor was asked how the [Chicago Children's Museum] was asked how the project could survive a court test after four Supreme Court rulings have affirmed legal covenants restricting lakefront construction," the Sun-Times reports.

"It is free and open," the mayor said. "That's why we have Daley Bicentennial Park, which is a building . . . That's why we have the Frank Gehry. That's why we have museums. That's why you have Navy Pier."

The mayor was apparently not asked what the hell he was talking about and if his gibberish was intended to evade the question or if he had merely forgotten to take his medication that morning.

The Outfit Fits
What makes the Chicago Outfit different from most street gangs and other organized criminal organizations that we go after is that one hundred years or so of building up connections among politicians and cops and judges and businessmen," first deputy U.S. attorney Gary Shapiro tells John Kass.

Connect the dots. Including the ones the cops are on.

Remedy
Wow, someone needs to brighten the mood around here. Got anything for me Rick?

Yes.

ITEM: Blackhawks Owner Bill Wirtz dies
CHICAGO, Illinois - The not-so-beloved owner of the Chicago Blackawks died this week in Chicago. Bill Wirtz was 77 years old."

* He was preceded in death by the Blackhawks, who died about ten years ago.

* His home wake will not be televised.

Ba dum-bum.

The Beachwood Tip Line: At your service.

Posted by Lou at 10:13 AM | Permalink

Mystery Debate Theater 2007

The Republican frontrunners weren't the only ones missing from Thursday night's debate at Morgan State University. Our very own Andrew Kingsford was MIA (in heavy REM, we suspected), though we're certain he loves black people. I would dare say, though, that anyone who votes for Rudy Giuliani, John McCain, Mitt Romney or Fred Thompson is a race traitor - no matter what your race.

The rest of the Mystery Debate Theater team - Tim Willette and Steve Rhodes - gathered once again at Beachwood HQ to bring you the best coverage in the nation. Tom Joyner and Tavis Smiley moderated. As always, this transcript is edited for length, clarity and sanity.

*

JOYNER: We may not agree on all the issues, but we do agree on the importance of an evening like this, and you demonstrate that sentiment with your presence. And to the esteemed candidates, whether you're pro-life or pro- choice, for the war in Iraq or against it, for Kanye West or 50 Cent . . .

TIM: . .. pro-coming here tonight, or against it . . .

JOYNER: . . . it's your turn to share your message with an audience that's stretched further than it's ever been stretched before, and that's a good thing. And let me take a moment right here and now to say hello to those of you viewing from home. Mayor Rudy Giuliani. Senator John McCain. Governor Mitt Romney. And Senator Fred Thompson.

TIM: Good thing this isn't a restaurant or they'd be saying we can't seat you until your party is full.

*

SMILEY: Some of the campaigns who declined our invitation to join us tonight have suggested publicly that this audience would be hostile and unreceptive. Since we're live on PBS right now, I can't tell you what I really think of these kinds of comments.

So I'm proud to introduce to you former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee. Texas Congressman Ron Paul. Kansas Senator Sam Brownback. Colorado Congressman Tom Tancredo. California Congressman Duncan Hunter. Former Ambassador Alan Keyes.

STEVE: Who among the other Republicans can ever say again in this campaign that the want to unite the country? They won't talk to black people, they won't talk to gays, they won't talk to Hispanics . . . . why do they hate America?

SMILEY: Please tell me and this audience, in your own words, why you chose to be here tonight and what you say to those who chose not to be here tonight.

HUCKABEE: Well, Tavis, I want to be president of the United States, not just president of the Republican Party. Frankly, I'm embarrassed. I'm embarrassed for our party and I'm embarrassed for those who did not come, because there's long been a divide in this country, and it doesn't get better when we don't show up.

PAUL: Well, the main reason I'm here is because I was invited.

BROWNBACK: I want to say just at the outset, I apologize for the candidates that aren't here. I think this is a disgrace that they're not here. I think it's a disgrace for our country, I think it's bad for our party, and I don't think it's good for our future.

TANCREDO: I am here likewise because I was asked and because I made a commitment on your show. I must admit to you that it is pleasurable and a little bit different to be in this kind of an environment with my colleagues who are here because the last time I was at an event of this nature, it was the NAACP convention and I was the only Republican that showed up.

And I am especially glad to be here to be able to talk about something that was mentioned during the original introduction, something you said, I believe, Tavis, when you talked about - we're here to talk about the promise of America.

HUNTER: You know, when we have family reunions and some of the family members don't show up, we do talk about them. But I'm not going to do that.

KEYES: Now, I wouldn't want to seem to be the fellow who's going to speak up in defense of our absent colleagues here.

But I think it is a little unfair to assume that they didn't show up tonight because they were sending a message of some negative kind to the black community, for the very obvious reason that they didn't show up at the Values Voters Debate, either - which, of course, sent a very negative message to the people who are interested in the issues that were discussed there.

Do you know what these two debates do have in common though? The Values Voters Debate was the first debate I was included in. And this is the second debate I'm included in.

I've been barred from the debate in Michigan, for reasons best known to the party there. And what do you want to make of that? The other guys will show up there.

Now, that suggests that they may or may not be afraid of all Black people, but there seems to be at least one black person they're afraid of.

STEVE: It took him a really long time to get to the punch line, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

*

SMILEY: Let me now introduce Lucille Victoria Rowels of Chicago, winner of our online contest in which we asked listeners of the Tom Joyner Morning Show to submit their questions to the Web site.

ROWELS: Even though a majority of individuals who have served as president since Abraham Lincoln have been Republican, I believe that most black Americans who will vote in the year 2008 are not able to name even one Republican president in the 142 years since Lincoln's death who have left a positive and significant legacy for black Americans.

If you are elected president in 2008, what positive and significant legacy, if any, will you leave for black Americans?

HUCKABEE: Well, I would say, first of all, that I would hope they would name President Eisenhower. Because he sent those troops and federalized the National Guard in Little Rock, Arkansas in 1957, when it was a Democrat governor who stood at the schoolhouse door and said those young people couldn't come in.

And I would like to believe, if I were fortunate enough to be the president, that at the end of my tenure - hopefully, eight years, by the way, not just four - that housing opportunities would be better, that we made some real strides in the criminal justice system so that you don't have a different sentence for a 17-year-old kid caught with a lid of marijuana than you do some upper-middle-class white kid who gets caught with cocaine. He goes to rehab, and the black kid goes to prison for 10 years.

PAUL: I would like to believe that if we had a freer society, it would take care of blacks and whites and everybody equally because we're all individuals. To me, that is so important. But if we had equal justice under the law, I think it would be a big improvement. If we had probably a repeal of most of the federal laws on drugs and the unfairness on how blacks are treated with these drugs laws, it would be a tremendous improvement.

SMILEY: Senator Brownback?

STEVE: I would try very hard to acquire a black friend if I became president.

*

BROWNBACK: There are several things that I would do. One is focusing in on rebuilding the family.

TANCREDO: One of the things that I will do as president of the United States, to increase the economic opportunities for every American, especially people in the lower economic rung of the ladder in America, is to reduce the flow of illegal immigration into this country, which depresses wage rates for the lowest-income earners in this country.

And it's got to be dealt with. It's got to be dealt with forcefully. And I tell you, yes, Black America, Brown America, White America, all will be enhanced by actually enforcing our laws.

TIM: Everyone will be enhanced. Brown will be much more brown, white will be much more white.

STEVE: Photoshop for everybody.

*

HUNTER: I think that we also have to add, with Governor Huckabee's statement about Ike, that calm hand of Dwight Eisenhower that brought about desegregation - also, you know, in 1964, that Civil Rights Act was passed with a greater proportion of Republican votes in the United States Congress than Democrat votes, a fact that's been forgotten over the years. I want you to remember that.

But, you know, I can't talk about young black Americans . . .

STEVE: . . . 'cause I don't know any . . .

HUNTER: . . . and the need for them to be shielded from pornography.

And in the barrio where I practiced law before I ran for Congress and got this job, I remember Mr. Sanchez down the street with his family, working 18-hour days, a need to have less regulation, less taxation. That would help all Americans.

And I guess I would go with Jack Kemp's great statement: A rising tide lifts all boats. A Republican administration, my administration, would lift all boats.

STEVE: Jack Kemp? I thought Jack Kennedy said that.

TIM: What about PT109? Except for boats with big holes in them . . .

*

KEYES: I would hope that the most important legacy of my administration would be to remind people that in spite of all the talk, I don't believe there is this deep divide between Blacks and whites in America . . . blah blah blah.

STEVE: And if someone's gonna get creamed by Obama in the general election, I've already done it!

*

Tavis: Let me now turn this conversation over to a terrific and very able panel of journalists who will take us the rest of the way. Cynthia Tucker, editorial page editor for the Atlanta Journal Constitution. Ray Suarez, well known to PBS viewers for his work on The NewsHour with Jim Lehrer." And Juan Williams of NPR and a contributor to FOX News channel.

TUCKER: In 2006, the unemployment rate of black high school graduates - that's high school graduates - was 33 percent higher than the unemployment rate for white high school dropouts. What do you think accounts for that inequity?

HUCKABEE: Cynthia, part of that is it is that there is still racism in this country, and the opportunities aren't the same. Some of it has to do with the fact that there are people who unfortunately still look at a person's face and their skin, and that's something that government can't change, but leadership certainly can speak to.

PAUL: Walter Williams, a very astute free-market economist, has studied this extensively, and he has found that prior to minimum wage laws there was no discrepancy like this. So he put a lot of blame on the minimum wage law.

BROWNBACK: What you have to do to try to stimulate [the economy] is really have a tax policy, something I've talked about, about an optional flat tax . . .

TIM: An optional flat tax? I'm a billionaire and I think I'll take the flat tax this year!

TANCREDO: OK, I just cannot agree with this race-baiting kind of comments about the reason why we have these problems.

My friends, I'll tell you that I believe, with all my heart - look, why was it that in the '50s, in the '40s, and actually leading up into the early '60s, the ability for blacks in the United States to improve themselves economically was working? They were moving up the ladder.

Families were in tact - in better shape, by the way, than most white families of that same period of time. What happened? Two things have happened to - I believe - to devastate the black community when it comes to economic opportunity.

STEVE: Integration.

TANCREDO: One, the welfare state; it began to pay people to not be in the home.

STEVE: I thought it paid people to stay home. They certainly weren't at work.

TANCREDO: And when that happened, what we saw is a decline in wage rates. And two, of course, is the importation of millions upon millions of low-income workers that depress the wage rates for the lowest income among us. Those two things are responsible, and it's got nothing to do with race.

HUNTER: You know, Republicans, when we had that great match up of a Republican majority in Congress in the '90s and President Bill Clinton, the Republicans initiated legislation three times . . .

TIM: . . . to throw Clinton out . . .

HUNTER: . . . to reform welfare. The first two times, President Clinton vetoed it, and the third time he signed it and took credit for it. It's something I've done every now and then in my career.

But lastly, there is one party that is very important to jobs, jobs in the community for everybody. That's the small businessman. If we help the small businessman, and that's a Republican trademark, we'll do it . . .

STEVE: Yes, we must help the small businessman!

*

KEYES: I have to say I think the most important factor in all of this does have something to do with policies that had an impact on race, but it was the disproportionately destructive impact that a lot of government programs had on the moral foundations and family structure in the black community.

You talk about folks finding job opportunities. You know where a lot of black men find job opportunities these days? In prison.

And that is something that reflects the reality that when you allow the family to break down, when you have government regulations that drive the father from the home, you have established the conditions for the upbringing of children to be nonproductive, to be violent, to be turned in directions that will be destructive of their economic future.

And when you add to that the promotion of a culture of promiscuity, a culture of selfish hedonism . . .

STEVE: Like that of my daughter.

KEYES: . . . that leads people not to understand that that marriage partnership is the most important foundation of any real economic life, then you have especially destroyed the black community.

STEVE: Especially gay blacks, who shouldn't be allowed to get married.

*

SUAREZ: The most commonly cited statistic for the number of illegal immigrants living in the United States is 12 million people. Is it desirable, is it even practical to try to send them all home?

PAUL: It's pretty impractical to get an army in this country to round up 12 or maybe 20 million. But I do believe that we have to stick to our guns on obeying the law, and anybody who comes in here illegally shouldn't be rewarded.

But I see the immigration problem as a consequence of our welfare state. Welfare because we encourage people not to work here, but the welfare we offer the people who come - they get free medical care. They get free education. They bankrupt our hospitals. Our hospitals are closing. And it shouldn't be rewarded. That means that if you don't round them up, you don't reward them, you don't give them citizenship. At the same time, you can't solve this problem until you have - you get rid of the welfare state, because in a healthy economy, immigrants wouldn't be a threat to us. There would probably be a desire for more, because we would be starved for workers.

But today, they have become scapegoated because of the weak economy and the lowering of our standard of living.

HUNTER: Folks that are here illegally have to leave and let me tell you why. Today, if you're a dry wall contractor and you play by the rules and you pay $27 a loaded hour for each of your employees, you will be constantly under-cut by contractors who use people who are here illegally.

That's not fair to Americans who play by the rules. And we just talked jobs a few minutes ago. That's one reason you have, in certain areas, especially in the construction trades now, higher levels of unemployment.

KEYES: The border is a matter of security, first of all. And we have to make sure that we control it, or no laws we pass have any significance. People will still cross on their own terms.

So the very first priority has to be to get back control. But we also have to remember why we lost control, because these elites who have been under the thumb of certain corporate interests have an interest in cheapening the price of labor in America.

STEVE: I thought he wanted cheap labor. He contradicts himself all the time - just like the Bible.

KEYES: Do you want to know who's first hurt by that cheapened price of labor?

Black folks are first hurt, as they've been hurt in the rebuilding of New Orleans, in the rebuilding of other parts of the United States that were affected by those hurricanes. It's time we stopped fooling around with this issue.

I think people, including a lot of the Black liberals, are more worried about what we do with illegal immigrants than they've ever been about the impact of illegal immigration on Black Americans who have been in this country all along. I'm sick of seeing it.

HUCKABEE: Until something is done to touch the people who are employing illegal immigrants because of the very reason that they've talked about on this stage, to create what amounts to another version of slave labor, then we're never going to stop the flow.

What we have to do is to start putting the penalty on the people who are most benefiting from them, the employers who are using those laborers in order to keep from having to pay decent wages.

STEVE: So they're pro-union?

TIM: They're pro-union, anti-corporate, anti-exploitation, this is great! It's not your father's Republican party.

*

WILLIAMS: Name one reform that you would endorse to assure young Black and Latino people in America that they will have equal justice in America's courts.

BROWNBACK: I may be the only person up here on this stage that's spent a couple nights in jail . . .

TIM: I sat under a tree that was whites-only.

BROWNBACK: . . . I went in to look at the system. I spent a night in a prison in Kansas and I spent a night in a prison in Louisiana. I've stayed in homeless shelters to answer and to get a feel for what you're talking about.

TIM: I want to assure everyone I was in no danger.

SMILEY: Congressman Tancredo?

STEVE: I will put myself in jail.

TIM: If I become president, I'm gonna put Sam Brownback in jail.

TANCREDO: I believe that it was mentioned earlier, and I certainly agree with the fact that first of all, there are far too many criminal statutes at the federal level. The Constitution establishes the roles for the federal government and the state government, and we have taken on far too many things at the federal level, especially drugs laws - mandating certain penalties and that sort of thing.

STEVE: Now he's just pandering.

HUNTER: Juan, I don't know as much about the facts as you do in this particular case.

TIM: After all, I'm just running for president.

HUNTER: But the facts, related, that I read in The Washington Post was that the one young man there was knocked unconscious and was kicked in the head while he was unconscious.

SMILEY: Your answer notwithstanding, Mr. Williams' question was not answered by you, respectfully. And that is: Is there a particular policy that you would support to guarantee young Black and brown men watching right now a fairer equal justice system? That part you did not get to.

HUNTER: I don't think there's any way you can be more fair then to have people in this country, under this wonderful Constitution that we put together, where people who are tried for criminal acts are tried by a jury of their peers.

Juries, obviously, are blemished in many ways and are not perfect, but a jury trial under the law is, I think, the best system of justice on the face of the Earth.

STEVE: So he's proposing a jury system.

KEYES: Well, I've always favored, and if you look at a book I wrote some years back called Masters of the Dream, there was a proposal in it that was part of a package of what we need to do to restore real local self-government, which in our case would be neighborhood self-government in a lot of our urban areas.

One of the features of that neighborhood government would be the reinstitution of what were called in the old days things like justices of the peace.

They were people who lived in the community, came out of the community, were empowered to judge offenses committed by folks who were in and lived in that community so that there would be sensitivity to the truth that you're not just dealing with crooks.

TIM: So we'd have a Wicker Park judge? Who would that be?

STEVE: The alderman. Or Bob at the Beachwood.

HUCKABEE: Well, first of all, we really don't have so much a crime problem in this country. We have a drug and alcohol problem. Eighty percent of the people who are in our prisons and jails are there for a drug or alcohol crime. They either were high or drunk when they committed the crime, or they committed the crime to get high or drunk.

And what has made a huge mistake is that we've incarcerated so many of the people who really need drug rehab more than they need long-term incarceration.

In our state, we established over 20 drug courts, that gave people an alternative course, rather than just putting them in prison, giving them the opportunity to get what they really needed, which is off the addiction.

We've got to quit locking up all the people that we're mad at and lock up the people that we're really afraid of, the people who are sexual predators and violent offenders.

But the nonsense of three strikes and you're out has created a system that is overrun with people, and the cost is choking us.

I would go for more drug courts and for a lot less incarceration of drug-addicted people.

STEVE: He's so much better than the others. If there are any Republicans watching, he just lost the nomination.

TIM: It's on PBS at a historically black college. I can say whatever I want!

*

TUCKER: Recently a push to give the District of Columbia voting representation was defeated because of heavy Republican opposition. In addition, many voting rights advocates are worried about rigid voter ID laws, which require photo ID, like a driver's license.

Are you concerned that some eligible voters will be denied the right to vote simply because they don't have a driver's license?

KEYES: I think the most important thing to remember about Washington, D.C., is that it was established to be a unique representation of the whole people of the United States.

That's a city that's supposed to belong to the nation, not to any one group and not to any one region. That's why it was put together in the first place.

I think it's terribly important to maintain that symbol of the unity of our country. We're a free people. If folks don't want to live in the conditions that prevail in Washington because of its unique status, they can go to Maryland. A whole bunch of folks have done so.

They can go to Virginia. A whole bunch of folks have done so. Some of the biggest churches and everything else now exist in Prince George's County, because people left the District.

They have that right, and I think that they can exercise it. But I think that the country is entitled to have this possession that symbolizes our whole united people, standing together as one community. I think it's terribly important that we sustain it.

HUCKABEE: Well, I may be a little different on this one. I believe that the people of D.C. should be able to vote for representation.

I think that's appropriate, for the simple reason of equality and justice. And if we need to amend the Constitution to make that possible, it should happen.

D.C. is not the same city it was when it was first created, and I think it just makes sense to not have a group of people - I don't care what color they are, I don't care how they vote - they ought to be able to vote, and their color and their political affiliation ought to have nothing to do with the equality that we should give them.

As far as identification - I have to show photo ID to get on an airplane in my home town. I think it's not asking too much to make sure that people who are voting are truly eligible voters.

But look, if it's a driver's license issue, we've gone to Motor Voter - let's have Photo Voter so, when you register to vote, they take your picture, put it on a card, and you simply are able to make sure that you're a registered voter.

STEVE: Can we just have drawings on our Ids? Caricatures?

*

SUAREZ: The Federal Agency for Health Care Research and Quality recently reported that both Latinos and blacks receive "significantly worse," in their words, medical care than whites in the United States.

One out of three Hispanics, one out of five black Americans is uninsured. Hispanics are 2.5 times as likely as non-Hispanic, white Americans to be uninsured. One of three Hispanics hasn't been to the doctor in more than a year. And as has already been mentioned, diabetes, asthma, hypertension are untreated or under-treated in communities across America.

What does your health care plan contain to address some of these disparities in access to care and access to quality health care?

HUNTER: Well, Ray, the first thing I'd say is I can't - as a guy who practiced law in the barrio . . .

STEVE: Here with the barrio again . . .

HUCKABEE: The first problem with our current health care system is that it's upside down. It focuses on intervention. We wait until people are catastrophically ill, and then we spend enormous amounts of money trying to fix them. We need to be putting the money on the preventive side. Prevention is a lot less expensive than is intervention.

The second thing, there has to be ownership of the individual consumer. As long as the government, the employer, as long as the doctor is in charge of your health care, and you have no idea what it costs, and you have no idea what they're doing, and you don't control it, we're never going to get the system fixed.

And the third thing that has to happen is that we have portable medical records so that your health care records go with you. They don't stay with your doctor. You shouldn't have to ask permission to see the records of your own body. Those are your own records. They don't belong to anybody else.

And the policies that we can put in place have to start with individuals buying in, not only on insurance, but buying in on health, their own personal, to start with.

TANCREDO: You should be able to get your drugs from any place that, in fact, it's cheaper to get drugs. If it's cheaper to get drugs in Canada, get drugs from Canada - it's OK with me.

STEVE: They have the best pot anyway.

*

WILLIAMS: What do you say to the one-third of the nation that's minority and overwhelmingly opposed to the continuation of this war, even as the GOP in Congress continues to block attempts to set a deadline to end this war?

KEYES: I think the most important thing to remember is that our efforts in Iraq and elsewhere right now that followed in the wake of September 11 aren't an effort to defend Black people, white people, Jewish people, Christian people, et cetera.

They're an effort to defend the United States of America from a deep and terrible threat that came against us in disregard of the fundamental -- the fundamental moral principle that is supposed to govern all international affairs, all wars that are conducted by countries, and that is that you do not consciously target innocent human life.

HUCKABEE: One of the tragedies is that our military veterans have kept their promises to us . . .

STEVE: But we haven't kept our promise to them.

HUCKABEE: . . . we have not kept all of our promises to them.

There are still people who believe that Iraq had something to do with 9/11, yet 15 of the people were from Saudi Arabia.

STEVE: One of them just spoke on the stage - the black one!

HUNTER: Ladies and gentlemen, we can leave Iraq, and under my leadership, we will leave Iraq in victory. And let me tell you what I would propose.

The key to handing off the security apparatus in Iraq, now that we've stood up a free government -- and it is a free government. It's stumbling along, it's inept, but it's a free government.

TIM: Kind of like another government you may have heard of.

*

HUNTER: I think there is a need for the death penalty. And it's called deterrence. And that means that, when that Charles Manson is getting rid to pull the trigger on an innocent American, just maybe the idea passes through his mind that he, himself, is going to lose his life.

STEVE: Okay, I just saw an interview with Charles Manson. That's not gonna happen.

KEYES: We can only dispatch you to the ruler of us all so that he may ultimately judge you for your misdeeds.

STEVE: Let's just dispatch us all right now and get it over with.

SMILEY: Good night from Baltimore.

-

Beachwood Analysis: Mike Huckabee was the clear winner tonight. He's found his stride and he has crossover appeal. He appears to be a reasonable, likable, nice man - unlike the stinkin' frontrunners without the courage to face black people. Sam Brownback really helped himself; this was his best performance. He showed a compassionate side many times and presented himself as far more well-rounded than the caricature conservative he's appeared as so far. Tom Tancredo also showed himself to be more interesting than in the past, but certainly not presidential - not even close. Duncan Hunter is a cartoonish, one-dimensional figure. While Mike Gravel on the Democratic side is full of (justified) outrage, Ron Paul is more of a theoretician. Kind of like an obscure professor who is always interesting for the first 15 minutes and then after that he's just nuts. Alan Keyes is nuts from the outset.

-

See the entire Mystery Debate Theater series. It's really funny.

Posted by Lou at 07:43 AM | Permalink

The Blue & Orange Kool-Aid Report

After the Bears' 34-10 drubbing at the hands of Dallas, the Kool-Aid Nation centered their thoughts around one mantra: "It could be worse." Well, technically, only two things are worse than their current record: 0-3 and 0-2-1. I'm not one to piss on the Kool-Aid Nation's parade, though. Rather, allow me to help list the things that are non-technically worse than a 1-2 record.

*
After a night of drinking, you crash your car. Thankfully, the cops seem to forget to ask you why you left the accident scene.

*

You ask your spouse for "tickets for the big game;" you get home opener tickets for the Blackhawks.

*

You get to speak to a packed house at an Ivy League school. Unfortunately, your name is Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

*

Your boss pulls you aside and says, "Take the day off tomorrow;" then he says, "because you're fired".

*

Your one-night stand calls you to let you know she passed her test;her pregnancy test.

*

You wonder if Kyle Orton might be the answer; you wonder if Kyle Orton might be the answer.

*

You think you're being complimentary when you say you "couldn't get over the fact" that there was no difference between the black-run Sylvia's and the others.

*

You're happy buying a new iPod for $169, but then Apple releases a new iPod with 10x the functionality for $29.

-

Bears at Lions

"Brian is our quarterback" doesn't have the same ring as "Rex is our quarterback." At some point, perhaps we can make Lovie do some sort of "Match Game" send-off like "BLANK is our quarterback."

Let's face it, Griese is just a temporary stain remover. Expect the Bears to look more like the 2006 Bears this week, until defenses finally expose the real problem - the Bears need to run well to set up the pass. Calling Cedric Benson! Perhaps Lovie should have insisted that "Thomas is our running back." Expect the words "Kyle is our quarterback" around Week 9.

Pick: Chicago Plus 3 Points, Over 45 Points Scored.

-

Sugar in the Blue and Orange Kool-Aid: 25%
Recommended Sugar in the Blue and Orange Kool-Aid: 25%

-

For more Emery, see the Kool-Aid archive, and the Over/Under archive. Emery accepts comments from Bears fans reluctantly and everyone else tolerably.

Posted by Lou at 12:10 AM | Permalink

September 27, 2007

The [Thursday] Papers

Editor's Note: I'm not going to have time for a column this morning, but we've got new posts this morning in several sections. Please consult Today's Beachwood to your right for details.

*

The [Wednesday] Papers

Blackhawks owner Bill Wirtz is dead.

*

Playoff Putsch
Aren't the Cubs violating the Tribune Company's code of ethics by offering members of the city council - and state legislators from the Wrigleyville area - a special deal on playoff tickets?

After all, these are policymakers whom the company's media outlets cover. And it's obviously being done as a political favor - otherwise all state legislators and other officeholders and dignitaries would be included.

Or is the company allowed to offer the same sort of gifts that its reporters are prohibited from accepting?

"We do it as a courtesy to the aldermen," Cubs community relations vice president Mike Lufrano told the Sun-Times.

A courtesy? Like when a cop from one jurisdiction, say, lets off a cop from another jurisdiction from a speeding ticket?

"But we also believe this is a citywide celebration," Lufrano says. "So it's appropriate for aldermen, as representatives of the city, to have a chance to participate in the celebration."

So, um, our aldermen will represent actual residents of the city at the games? How royally quaint.

And without the graciousness of Tribune Company, the aldermen would otherwise be left out of "the celebration." Unlike the rest of us.

Ald. Ed Smith (28th) says the deal is not a conflict of interest if aldermen pay for their tickets. And they will have to pay for their tickets - face value without standing in line or participating in a lottery. I guess Smith forgot about that part.

"It's one of the perks that comes with the job," Ald. Brian Doherty (41st) says.

And God knows aldermen don't have enough of those.

Meanwhile, for poor lifelong fans left out of the citywide celebration, Cubs playoff games - if they make it - will only be shown on cable TV. I wonder if Comcast gives aldermen a deal on that, too.

Testing Testing
The performance of Illinois schools in nationwide tests "stand in stark contrast to state test results released last week," the Tribune reports.

"Critics contend the wide disparity proves Illinois - and other states - are watering down state tests in an attempt to meet the demands under No Child Left Behind reforms. Illinois made drastic changes to its state exams two years ago, giving students more time to complete tests and lowering the passing bar on the 8th-grade math exam."

In other words, watering down its tests.

Children's Cave
A compromise being floated in the Chicago Children's Museum mess is to place the entire thing under Grant Park; you know, sort of where the underground parking garages are.

"Reilly agreed to consider it, even though he had trouble believing that the Children's Museum would 'want all of their programming to essentially be in a cave,'" the Sun-Times reports.

Because they want to be in - or under - Grant Park real bad.

This looks like the road we'll be going down. An insightful Beachwood reader sent me this the other day:

"My guess: the museum stays, but the argument will now switch to design (which is where it was anyway, really) and Randolph Street, which is really a visual blight east of Michigan, is going to get some pedestrian-friendly street improvements as a sop to residents. And when the Daley Bi park is ripped up sometime in 2008-09 - which it has to be anyway to replace the membrane of the parking lot below it - the residents will get a new park remade in their image/wants/desires."

Another reader notes this nugget from this week's Crain's article:

"'The Metropolitan Pier and Exposition Authority charges the museum $1 a year to rent 57,000 square feet on the west end of Navy Pier but does not subsidize operations.'

"Gosh, that's not a subsidy? Can I lease 57,000 square feet for $1 too???"

Dodge Ball
Player 1: U.S. Rep. Jerry Weller, who announced he will not seek another term.

"After making his announcement, Weller immediately left the luncheon without responding to questions from reporters," the Tribune reported.

"His spokesman, Andy Fuller, denied Weller's decision had anything to do with questions raised about the congressman.

"'Nothing that was printed in the last two weeks had anything to do with the decision,' Fuller said. Weller, he said, made the decision not to run by early this summer."

Now, nobody knows what goes on in families. But with Weller dodging questions it becomes fair game to wonder about the ways this doesn't add up. He just ran for re-election a year ago, for example. Let's give him the benefit of the doubt and say he just realized he needed to spend more time with his family. But he's not leaving for another 14 months - that's right, he's serving out the rest of his term. So his family doesn't need him - and he they - anytime soon. Why even announce right now, then?

Of course, as long as he's in office - even if he's a lame duck - there ought to be a congressional ethics investigation. No public official should be allowed to resign their way out of accountability.

-

Player 2: The mayor's nephew and his development partner.

"[Allison] Davis and [Robert] Vanecko declined to be interviewed by the Sun-Times but offered this statement:

"'We are confident that DV Urban will produce good returns for its investors over its long-term horizon . . . blah blah blah.'

"The mayor had nothing to do with his nephew getting city pension business, Daley spokeswoman Jacquelyn Heard said. 'He doesn't do things like that. It's just not his way.'"

Vote Yes?!
The Interrobang.

READER COMMENTS:

1. Tim Howe writes (with Interrocool in the subject line):

And the best use for an interrobang:

Are you fucking kidding me?!

Useful as a response to just about anything coming out of the mouth of Mayor Daley or President Bush.

Listen Up
"You know something is wrong when the New England Patriots face stiffer penalties for spying on innocent Americans than Dick Cheney and George Bush."
- Bill Richardson

Mount Lou
Trib baseball writer Paul Sullivan talking about former Cubs catcher Michael Barrett on TV a few days ago:

"He was scared off the team. They had to get rid of him because he couldn't deal with Lou."

The Beachwood Tip Line: Our perk to you.

Posted by Lou at 09:16 AM | Permalink

Mystery Debate Theater 2007

Yet again the Mystery Debate Theater team of Andrew Kingsford, Tim Willette and Steve Rhodes gathered at Beachwood HQ to check in with the pathologically power-thirsty people who want to be your president. Andrew ordered fried rice and Tim downed about a half-dozen Red Bulls. Most noticeable was the strange frequency of trains running on the Blue Line through my backyard. Tim theorized they were running a bunch of 'em in a row to get their average up. I theorized that Red Line and Orange Line trains were now also running to O'Hare. Or that trains were just running back-and-forth between the Damen and Division stops, perhaps even drag racing. Andrew was too aggravated to theorize.

As always, the following transcript has been edited for length, clarity and sanity.

*

MODERATOR TIM RUSSERT: Senator Obama, I'd like to start with you. General Petraeus in his testimony before Congress, later echoed by President Bush, gave every indication that in January of 2009 when the next president takes office, there will be 100,000 troops in Iraq. You're the president. What do you do? You said you would end the war. How do you do it in January of 2009?

OBAMA: Well, first of all, Tim, let me say thank you to Dartmouth for hosting this event. And let me also say that had my judgment prevailed back in 2002, we wouldn't be in this predicament. I was opposed to this war from the start, have been opposed to this war consistently.

STEVE: The first thing I will do when I get into office is talk about how opposed to the war I was.

OBAMA: If there are still large troop presences in when I take office, then the first thing I will do is call together the Joint Chiefs of Staff and initiate a phased redeployment. We've got to be as careful getting out as we were careless getting in. But military personnel indicate we can get one brigade to two brigades out per month.

TIM: One brigade, two brigade . . .

ANDREW: Three brigade, four.

OBAMA: I would immediately begin that process. We would get combat troops out of Iraq. The only troops that would remain would be those that have to protect U.S. bases and U.S. civilians, as well as to engage in counterterrorism activities in Iraq.

STEVE: And then I will bore the Shiites to death.

ANDREW: Bore the Shiite out of them.

OBAMA: The important principle, though, is there are not going to be any military solutions to the problem in Iraq. There has to be a political accommodation, and the best way for us to support the troops and to stabilize the situation in Iraq is to begin that phased redeployment.

RUSSERT: Will you pledge that by January 2013, the end of your first term more than five years from now, there will be no U.S. troops in Iraq?

STEVE: In other words, let me ask the question again.

OBAMA: I think it's hard to project four years from now, and I think it would be irresponsible. We don't know what contingency will be out there.

What I can promise is that if there are still troops in Iraq when I take office, which it appears there may be unless we can get some of our Republican colleagues to change their mind and cut off funding without a timetable, if there's no timetable, then I will drastically reduce our presence there to the mission of protecting our embassy, protecting our civilians and making sure that we're carrying out counterterrorism activities there.

I believe that we should have all our troops out by 2013, but I don't want to make promises not knowing what the situation's going to be three or four years out.

STEVE: He's a change agent. He just likes his change to happen really slowly . . . Some people ask how he does change. Volume.

RUSSERT: Senator Clinton, you have said that will not pledge to have all troops out by the end of your first term, 2013. Why not?

SENATOR CLINTON: Well, Tim, it is my goal to have all troops out by the end of my first term. But I agree with Barack. It is very difficult to know what we're going to be inheriting. You know, we do not know, walking into the White House in January 2009, what we're going to find. What is the state of planning for withdrawal?

That's why last spring I began pressing the Pentagon to be very clear about whether or not they were planning to bring our troops out. And what I found was that they weren't doing the kind of planning that is necessary, and we've been pushing them very hard to do so.

You know, with respect to the question, though, about the Democrats taking control of the Congress, I think the Democrats have pushed extremely hard to change this president's course in Iraq. Today I joined with many of my colleagues in voting for Senator Biden's plan, slightly different than he'd been presenting it, but still the basic structure was to move toward what is a de facto partition if the Iraqi people and government so choose.

The Democrats keep voting for what we believe would be a better course. Unfortunately as you know so well, the Democrats don't have the majority in the Senate to be able to get past that 60-vote blockade that the Republicans can still put up. But I think every one of us who is still in the Senate - Senator Biden, Senator Dodd, Senator Obama and myself - we are trying every single day. And of course, Congressman Kucinich is in the House.

STEVE: Dice-K is in the house!

CLINTON: But I think it is fair to say that the president has made it clear. He intends to have about 100,000 or so troops when he leaves office - the height of irresponsibility, that he would leave this war to his successor. I will immediately move to begin bringing our troops home when I am inaugurated.

RUSSERT: Senator Edwards, will you commit that at the end of your first term, in 2013, all U.S. troops will be out of Iraq?

STEVE: I can say the same things those guys just said but move the words around in different order.

MR. EDWARDS: [says the same those guys said but in a different order]

*

RUSSERT: Governor Richardson, you have said that you will bring home all troops within a year. You've heard your three other opponents say they can't do it in four years. How can you do it in one year?

RICHARDSON: Well, I have a fundamental difference with Senator Obama, Senator Edwards and Senator Clinton.

TIM: And you, Tim. And my mother.

*

RICHARDSON: My position in bringing all troops out of Iraq is to end the war. The American people want us to end this war. Our kids are dying - the bloodiest last three months - and my position is this, that you cannot start the reconciliation of Iraq, a political settlement, an all-Muslim peacekeeping force to deal with security and boundaries and possibly this issue of a separation, which is a plan that I do believe makes sense, until we get all our troops out, because they have become targets. And I also disagree with Senator Clinton. I don't believe the Congress has done enough to end this war.

RUSSERT: Governor, how are you going to do this in one year?

RICHARDSON: We have been able to move our troops within three months - 240,000 - in and out of Iraq through Kuwait. This is what I would do. I would bring them out through roads through Kuwait and through Turkey.

ANDREW: And through airports, rivers, beaches . . .

TIM: Using all our breath.

*

RUSSERT: Senator Dodd, you've heard this discussion. Where do you come down?

DODD: Well, Tim, the question is not just how you bring the troops out, but why are we there? As president of the United States, your first responsibility is to guarantee the safety and security of the American people. And so the question you must ask yourself as president: Is the continuation of our military presence enhancing that goal? [blah blah blah]

STEVE: You'd think the questions would get deeper, or you could have them debate each other.

TIM: They'll start talking about the gold standard later.

TIM: The Louisiana Purchase, Tim, I always thought was a mistake.

*

RUSSERT: I want to put you on the record. Will you pledge as commander in chief that you have all troops out of Iraq by January of 2013?

DODD: I will get that done.

RUSSERT: You'll get it done.

STEVE: Git-R-Done.

DODD: Yes, I will, sir.

RUSSERT: Senator Biden, would you get it done?

BIDEN: Tim, we're begging the question here. Everyone says there's no political - there's no military solution, only a political solution.

STEVE: Here we go. Partition.

TIM: I think he's talking about America.

*

RUSSERT: Senator Gravel, I've listened to you very carefully in this campaign.

GRAVEL: You're one of the few that has.

RUSSERT: You were in the Senate, and you take credit for stopping the draft. If you were a senator right now . . .

TIM: Would you stop the draft again?

RUSSERT: . . . what advice would you give your colleagues still in Congress about how they can stop the war even though they don't have enough votes to stop a debate or to override a veto?

GRAVEL: Well, the first thing, you stop the debate by voting every single day on cloture, every day, 20 days, and you'll overcome cloture. The president vetoes a law; it comes back to the Congress, and in the House at noon, every single day, you vote to override the president's veto.

STEVE: Say it, brother!

GRAVEL: And in 40 days, the American people will have weighed in, put the pressure on those - you tell me that the votes aren't there, you go get them by the scruff of the neck. That's what you do. You make them vote.

MR. RUSSERT: Senator, are you suggesting that these candidates suspend their campaigns, go back to Washington and for 40 consecutive days vote on the war?

STEVE: Are you suggesting a campaign is more important than stopping a war?

GRAVEL: If it stops the killing, my God, yes, do it! And, Tim, you're really missing something. This is Fantasyland. We're talking about ending the war; my God, we're just starting a war right today. There was a vote in the Senate today - Joe Lieberman, who authored the Iraq resolution . . .

STEVE: And was endorsed by Mr. Anti-War Obama . . .

GRAVEL: has offered another resolution, and it essentially a fig leaf to let George Bush go to war with Iran. And I want to congratulate Biden for voting against it, Dodd for voting against, and I'm ashamed of you, Hillary, for voting for it. You're not going to get another shot at this, because what's happened if this war ensues - we invade and they're looking for an excuse to do it. And Obama was not even there to vote.

STEVE: Best Moment of the Campaign.

RUSSERT: Senator Clinton, I'll give you a chance to respond.

CLINTON: (Laughs, laughter, applause.) Well, I don't know where to start . . .

ANDREW: . . . to not answer the question . . .

CLINTON: . . . but let me . . .

RUSSERT: Please take 30 seconds.

TIM: First of all, that guy is spitting on me. I'd like to be moved to a different table, please.

ANDREW: [continues his assertion that Russert is drunk - or not drunk enough]

TIM: But on the radio people think he won the debate.

*

OBAMA: I think it's important to back up for a second, Tim, and just understand, number one, Iran is in a stronger position now than it was before the Iraq war because the Congress authorized the president to go in.

And so it indicates the degree to which we've got to make sure, before we launch attacks or make judgments of the sort, that we actually understand the intelligence and we have done a good job in sorting it through.

Now, we don't know exactly what happened with respect to Syria . We've gotten general reports, but we don't know all the specifics. We got general reports in the run-up to the Iraq war that proved erroneous, and a lot of people voted for that war as a consequence.

Now, we are a stalwart ally of Israel , and I think it is important to understand that we will back them up in terms of their security. But it is critical to understand that until we have taken the diplomatic routes that are required to tighten economic sanctions

I have a plan right now to make sure that private pension funds in this country can divest from their holdings in Iran.

STEVE: Our pension funds are going to bring them to their knees?

RUSSERT: So you would not offer a promise to the American people, like Giuliani, that Iran will not be able to develop and become a nuclear power?

STEVE: To repeat the question.

OBAMA: I make an absolute commitment that we will do everything we need to do to prevent Iran from developing nuclear weapons. One of the things we have to try, though, is to talk directly to Iran , something that we have not been doing. And, you know, one of the disagreements that we have on this stage is the degree to which the next president is going to have to engage in the sort of personal diplomacy that can bring about a new era in the region. And, you know, that means talking to everybody. We've got to talk to our enemies and not just our friends.

ANDREW: So what you're saying is . . .

TIM: Because if they have a nuclear weapon, they won't talk to us. So we have to talk to them so they don't get a nuclear weapon.

ANDREW: The Bush Administration refuses to talk to them, so do they even know we don't want them to have it?

*

RUSSERT: Senator Edwards, would the Israelis be justified in launching an attack if they felt their security was threatened by a nuclear presence in Iran ?

EDWARDS: I have no intention of giving George Bush the authority to take the first step on a road to war with Iran.

TIM: And when I'm president, I'm just not going to let him. I don't care what he says.

*

EDWARDS: And I think that vote today, which Senator Biden and Senator Dodd voted against, and they were correct to vote against it, is a clear indication of the approach that all of us would take with the situation in Iran. Because what I learned in my vote on Iraq was . . .

TIM: I think the lesson is, don't vote.

EDWARDS: you cannot give this president the authority and you can't even give him the first step in that authority, because he cannot be trusted. And that resolution that was voted on today was a very clear indication . . .

STEVE: I admit I made wrong vote to send America to war, and that's why I want you to elect me president.

*

RUSSERT: Governor Richardson, would you make a solemn commitment to the American people that Iran will not become a nuclear power?

RICHARDSON: Yes. A fundamental goal of our foreign policy should be not to permit Iran to develop nuclear weapons. Another cornerstone of our foreign policy should be the strength and the security of Israel. So you cannot deny a nation the right to legitimately defend itself.

TIM: Also, we don't want the Israelis to develop nuclear weapons, because that would inflame the whole region.

*

RUSSERT: I want to go to Allison King of New England Cable News, who has been sifting through thousands of questions from across the country and New England and here in New Hampshire.

ALLISON KING: Dozens of cities around the country, including several here, right here in New England, have been designated as sanctuary cities. These are communities that provide a safe haven for illegal immigrants, where police are told not to involve themselves in immigration matters.

TIM: She sounds like the person who reads the civil defense warnings.

KING: Would you allow these cities to ignore the federal law regarding the reporting of illegal immigrants and, in fact, provide sanctuary to these immigrants?

Governor Richardson, I'll start with you.

RICHARDSON: Are you asking me because I'm the Hispanic here?

STEVE: Oh my God, he just accused her of racism.

TIM: Listen, gringo . . .

ANDREW: Senor Richardson . . .

STEVE: What do you think of the Bumble Bee? Should he be deported?

TIM: Don't be fooled by my WASPish name.

*

BIDEN: The reason that cities ignore the federal law is the fact that there is no funding at the federal level to provide for the kind of enforcement at the federal level you need. Part of the problem is you have to have a federal government that can enforce laws.

TIM: That's why I reject the Articles of Confederation. We should have a president, and one of those separation-of-powers deals, you know, an independent judiciary.

STEVE: And make the terms two and six years. Now for Godsakes, can I get some sleep?

*

OBAMA: The federal law is not being enforced not because of failures of local communities, because the federal government has not done the job that it needs to do.

RUSSERT: But you would allow the sanctuary cities to exist?

OBAMA: What I would do as president is pass comprehensive immigration reform.

STEVE: All by yourself?

*

RUSSERT: Senator Clinton . . .

ANDREW: . . . please say sanctuary cities three times fast.

*

GRAVEL: This whole nation should be a sanctuary - for the world and bring the people in.

STEVE: Gravel! Sanctuary Nation!

TIM: Isn't that what the neo-cons are trying to do - make the entire world a part of the United States?

GRAVEL: What's going on? Again, we're in fantasy-land. We're talking about a problem, we're scapegoating the Latinos of our society because we as a society are failing in education, we're failing in health care, we're failing in our crumbling infrastructure, and we're failing by invading countries and spending our treasure. That's what's wrong. And so I'm ashamed, as an American, to be building a fence on our southern border. That's not the America that I fought for.

RUSSERT: We're going to take a quick break.

[Discussion ensues about those Liberty Mutual commercials where everyone who sees someone doing a good deed is then inspired to do one themselves. Just like an insurance company!]

*

CLINTON: I intend to be the health care president. You see a lot of people with those stickers that say, "I'm a health care voter." Well, I want to be the health care president.

STEVE: I want to be the junk food president.

TIM: No jogging allowed.

STEVE: And tax breaks to Hostess.

*

RUSSERT (TO EDWARDS): In 2004 when you ran for president, you said we could not afford universal health care, it was not achievable, and it was not responsible. You've changed dramatically on this issue.

STEVE: I was wrong and I take responsibility and that's why you should make me president.

TIM: Why is it universal health care? Shouldn't it be national health care? What, are we gonna provide health care to other planets?

*

RUSSERT: Senator Obama, I asked Senator Clinton about experience and judgment.

STEVE: Of which I have neither.

RUSSERT: You have served in the U.S. Senate about 33 months. You have no landmark legislation as such that you have offered. When you were elected back in 2004, you said, quote, "The notion that somehow I am going to start running for higher office, it just doesn't make sense."

If it didn't make sense in 2004, why does it make sense now?

TIM: Because I was lying in 2004.

OBAMA: Because I think that the country is at a crossroads right now . . .

STEVE: As opposed to then.

OBAMA: . . . and it needs three things. Number one, it needs somebody who can bring the country together, and that's the kind of experience that I bring to this office. When I was in the state legislature, I was able to get people who were polar opposites - police officers and law enforcement working with civil rights advocates to reform a death penalty system that was broken: bringing people together, Republicans and Democrats, to provide health insurance to people who didn't have it.

STEVE: He acts like he was governor or something. He wasn't even a party leader.

ANDREW: He was sucking Emil Jones's . . .

*

RUSSERT: I want to ask Senator Gravel. You talk about running for president of the United States. In 1980 your condo business went bankrupt.

STEVE, ANDREW, TIM: He had a condo business???!!!

GRAVEL: Correct.

RUSSERT: In 2004 you filed for personal bankruptcy . . .

GRAVEL: Correct.

RUSSERT: . . . leaving $85,000 in credit bills unpaid. How can someone who did not take care of his business, could not manage his own personal finances, say that he's capable of managing the country?

TIM: How can anybody who screwed up every business he ever ran possibly be president? That's completely nonsensical.

GRAVEL: Well, first off, if you want to make a judgment of who can be the greediest people in the world when they get to public office, you could just look up at the people up here. Money - many of them done very, very well in public office. I left the Senate no better than when I went in.

Now, you say the condo business. I'll tell you, Donald Trump has been bankrupt a hundred times. So I went bankrupt once in business.

And the other - who did I bankrupt? I stuck the credit card companies with $90,000 worth of bills. And they deserved it, because I used the money. (Laughter.) They deserved it, and I used the money to finance the empowerment of the American people with the National Initiative, so you can make the laws.

STEVE. He. Kicks. Ass.

GRAVEL: Now, Tim, let me just point one thing out.

TIM: You're damn right I didn't pay my credit card bills! Fuck those clowns!

RUSSERT: Alright.

TIM: And I still have some videos from Blockbuster! I never took those back either!

*

RUSSERT: Congressman Kucinich, when you were mayor of Cleveland, you let Cleveland go into bankruptcy, the first time that happened since the Depression. The voters of Cleveland rewarded you by throwing you out of office and electing a Republican mayor of Cleveland. How can you claim that you have the ability to manage the United States of America, when you let Cleveland go bankrupt?

REP. KUCINICH: You know, Tim, that was NBC's story. Now I want the people to know what the real story was.

STEVE: I thought the story was that he turned out to be right when he was mayor, that he was vindicated.

KUCINICH: I took a stand on behalf of the people of Cleveland to save a municipal electric system. The banks and the utilities in Cleveland, the private utilities, were trying to force me to sell that system. And so on December 15th, 1978, I told the head of the biggest bank, when he told me I had to sell the system in order to get the city's credit renewed, that I wasn't going to do it because - you know, I remember where I came from.

I remembered my parents counting pennies to pay the utility bills in one of the many apartments we lived in, and so I know why I went into public office. I went in to stand up for the people. And the people in Cleveland in 1994 asked me to come back to public life because at that point they expanded a municipal electric system that the banks demanded that I sell, and I showed the ability to stand up for the people.

You know, my campaign in '94 was "because it was right," and people put me in the Ohio Senate for that reason; '96 it was "light up Congress" as a symbol of saving the municipal electric system; and this year it's going to be "light up America" because I'm going to challenge those interest groups. I put my job on the line. How many people would be willing to put their job on the line in the face of pressure from banks and utilities? As this story gets told, people will want me to be their next president because they'll see in me not only the ability to take a stand, but the ability to live with integrity.

*

RUSSERT: Governor Richardson, you talk about your experience, and yet when you were the secretary of Energy, there was security breaches at Los Alamos. You talked about Justice White being your favorite Supreme Court justice, someone who voted against Roe v. Wade. New Mexico ranks 48 in terms of people below the poverty line, 48th in children below the poverty line. You said that being gay is a choice. Based on those kinds of comments and that record of performance or questionable activities, how can you tell people you have the experience to be president?

RICHARDSON: I've been in public life 25 years. And, you know, I may not be the perfect consultant, blow-dried candidate. I make mistakes. I admit them.

TIM: Gov. Richardson, when you pushed that classmate down the slide . . .

ANDREW: You haven't paid your tanning bills in six months . . .

RICHARDSON: But, you know, Tim, the issue is, do I deliver? No one ever questioned me that I deliver when I brought back American hostages and servicemen from Iraq, from Saddam Hussein, from the North Koreans, from Darfur.

STEVE: What does he mean he brought them back?

ANDREW: What, did you give them a free ride in your limo?

RICHARDSON: I got a fragile cease-fire. I received four Nobel Peace Prize nominations.

STEVE: So what, so did Andrew. I nominate him every year.

*

RUSSERT: I'd like to go to Alison King of New England Cable News again for another question. Alison.

TIM: Tim Russert, remember back when you were talking about what a great idea it'd be to invade Iraq?

*

KING: The issues surrounding gay rights have been hotly debated here in New England. For example, last year some parents of second graders in Lexington, Massachusetts, were outraged to learn their children's teacher had read a story about same-sex marriage, about a prince who marries another prince.

TIM: Some are offended by the celebration of royalty. This is America, we had a revolution over this stuff.

KING: Same-sex marriage is legal in Massachusetts, but most of you oppose it. Would you be comfortable having this story read to your children as part of their school curriculum? I'm going to start with Senator Edwards.

ANDREW: There are no gay princes in America.

EDWARDS: Yes, absolutely . . . [blah blah blah] . . . did you say second grade? Second grade might be a little tough . . .

KING: Well, that's the point, it's second grade.

*

KING: Senator Obama, you have young children at home. How do you feel about this?

OBAMA: You know, I feel very similar to John: that - you know, the fact is, my 9-year-old and my 6-year-old - I think, are already aware that there are same-sex couples. And my wife and I have talked about it. And one of the things I want to communicate to my children is not to be afraid of people who are different . . .

ANDREW: 'Cause gays can fight.

OBAMA: . . . and because there have been times in our history where I was considered different, or Bill Richardson was considered different.

STEVE: Mike Gravel is considered different.

OBAMA: And one of the things I think the next president has to do is to stop fanning people's fears. You know, if we spend all our time feeding the American people fear and conflict and division, then they become fearful and conflicted and divided. And if we feed them hope, and we feed them reason and tolerance, then they will become tolerant and reasonable and hopeful.

ANDREW: They'll be hopefully reasonably tolerant.

KING: Quickly, have you sat down with your daughters to talk about same-sex marriage?

SENATOR OBAMA: My wife has.

STEVE: And she told them we can't have gay marriage, we can't have that kind of unity. Not everyone deserves hope.

KING: I'd like to ask Senator Clinton the same question.

STEVE: Let's get back to Gravel and his condo business.

TIM: Maybe it was a gay condo business.

*

RUSSERT: We're going to take another quick break.

ANDREW: The advertisers are an insurance company, private jets and stiffy pills. Cialis - 24-hour rock! It's so perverted, like they're gonna get it on in a national park, or the hammock in the back yard.

*

RICHARDSON: You have to have fiscal discipline. You've got to also grow the economy. You know, this estimate [of the deficit], it's based on the growth of the economy, 1.3 percent. If it grows to 1.8, we don't have this.

STEVE: We could get there using Gravel's credit cards.

RUSSERT: Senator Edwards, can you grow your way out of this?

EDWARDS: No, sir, you cannot, and I would say that the single most important thing for anybody running for president is to be willing to be honest with America. You cannot solve this problem just by setting up a bipartisan commission. All of us are for that. You cannot solve this problem just by growing the economy. All of us are for that.

STEVE: His hair is so overrated.

ANDREW: I think he's really cute. And the more beers I drink, the cuter he gets.

*

RUSSERT: Is there anybody here who's in favor of a national law to ban smoking?

RICHARDSON: I did it in New Mexico as a national law.

*

KING: Would you as president remove the requirement that a state have a legal drinking age of 21 in order to receive federal highway funds, thereby returning the drinking age back to the states?

RICHARDSON: No, I wouldn't lower it. In fact, at this moment, my wife is hosting . . .

TIM: A kegger!

STEVE: You beat me to it, dude.

RICHARDSON: . . . in New Mexico with the surgeon general a forum on underage drinking.

GRAVEL: I think we should lower it to - anybody that can go fight and die for this country should be able to drink. (Applause.)

KUCINICH: You know, I think that not only about service, but we have to have confidence in young Americans. And a president who reaches out to them and talks to them about drinking responsibly is much better than a president who tells them, "Thou shalt not," because young people will do what they do, but they're looking for leadership from a president. I'm ready to provide that leadership.

STEVE: Anybody who looks to the president for leadership is an idiot.

TIM: Especially if you're 18.

KUCINICH: Of course they should be able to drink at age 18, and they should be able to vote at age 16.

*

RUSSERT: Senator Obama, you were criticized by Jesse Jackson and others about your - in their words - tepid response about the situation in Jena involving civil rights difficulties in Louisiana. Should you have gone to Jena, Louisiana, in order to try to bring those communities together?

STEVE: No, because I don't like black people.

OBAMA: No, because I was in Washington at that time trying to bring an end to the war in Iraq, and that was something that was critical.

STEVE: He was trying to end the war! He had to be there for that vote. Remember the End the War vote?

OBAMA: The fact is that I was - before any of the other candidates on this stage, spoke out with respect to Jena. I put out several strong statements, including ones prepared with Jesse Jackson's son, Congressman Jesse Jackson Jr.

STEVE: He put out statements. That's kind of like being there.

OBAMA: And, subsequently, I think Reverend Jackson acknowledged that. This is an issue that's not black or white.

STEVE: It's not black or white? That's exactly what it is!

*

RUSSERT: Before we go, there's been a lot of discussion about the Democrats and the issue of faith and values.

STEVE: Oh boy, here we go.

RUSSERT: Senator Obama, what is your favorite Bible verse?

ANDREW: Well, according to my pastor, who's not here tonight because he wasn't invited . . .

*

CLINTON: The Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. I think it's a good rule for politics, too.

GRAVEL: The most important thing in life is love. That's what empowers courage, and courage implements the rest of our virtues.

STEVE: I kind of like the one about the day He created the beasts. Or something from Revelation, you know, the three-headed beast rose up from the East dressed in purple. Someone should say that one.

KUCINICH: I carry that with me at every debate, this prayer from St. Francis, which says, Lord, make me an instrument of your peace, and I believe very strongly that all of us can be instruments of peace. And that's what I try to bring to public life.

EDWARDS: It appears many times in the Bible, What you do onto the least of those, you do onto me.

RICHARDSON: The Sermon on the Mount, because I believe it's an issue of social justice, equality, brotherly issues reflecting a nation that is deeply torn and needs to be heal and come together.

DODD: The Good Samaritan would be a worthwhile sort of description of who we all ought to be in life.

BIDEN: Christ's warning of the Pharisees. There are many Pharisees, and it's part of what has bankrupted some people's view about religion. And I worry about the Pharisees.

STEVE: He's so dark.

RUSSERT: Thank you all.

-

BEACHWOOD ANALYSIS: Mike Gravel was the clear winner. Really. But Hillary Clinton once again demonstrated not only her command of the issues but her presidential bearing. Obama was borrrrrrring and seems to be set on automatic, repeating the same scripted lines over and over again. Dodd continues to be much improved, while Richardson continues to bumble. Kucinich is Kucinich, for better and worse. Biden continues to be a really smart guy who seems to be just temperamentally off in some way - and the idea of making him Secretary of State is laughable. He's not a diplomat. He is a quarterback, no doubt about that. But not a president. A lot of the pundits think Edwards had a good night, and he has some admirable qualities and ways in which he is better than his rivals, but he can't give us a good enough reason why he ought to be president. His agenda is interesting, but like Obama, he lacks a certain heft and experience. Twenty years as a trial lawyer doesn't count - unless maybe he wants to be attorney general. After all, he is the RFK in this race.

-

See the entire Mystery Debate Theater series.

Posted by Lou at 08:42 AM | Permalink

Wirtz is Dead: Long Live the Blackhawks

Although you never, ever want to see anyone's demise as a blessing, it's hard for a true hockey fan such as myself to not be somewhat encouraged about the chances for a Chicago renaissance for the beloved game now that longtime Blackhawks owner Bill Wirtz has passed on. If his survivors do the right thing and sell the franchise to someone who knows how to market the game - like Chicago Wolves owner Don Levin - there could finally be something approaching a fitting presence for puck-heads in one of the pro game's storied American cradles.

Not to speak ill of the dead, but the backwardness of Wirtz and the Hawks organization knew no bounds. As a Minnesotan coming to Chicago in the '90s, I had no idea how bad it really was. Of course I realized that the Blackhawks had seen better days, but when I volunteered to cover their games as a sportswriter for United Press International in 1994, I quickly discovered something: The team, from the front office to the coaches on down to the locker room attendants, was comprised of surly pricks whose idea of press relations was to snarl one-syllable answers to pretty much any kind of question. And if that's how they treated the press, imagine how they felt about their dwindling base of poor, long-suffering fans.

I had wondered why no one at UPI's Chicago bureau, where the perks like covering sports or concerts or other fun events were snapped up quickly, had picked up these Blackhawks press passes - they were just lying around. Then I found out. It was so bad at the United Center that even I, whose determined love of NHL hockey stretched back to the 1967 Minnesota North Stars, couldn't stand the atmosphere at Blackhawks games. It was worse than dead - it was oppressive. How those jerks could ever act like they were doing you a favor by letting you into their crapfests was beyond me. After two games, I only went back once - for a chance to meet and interview Wayne Gretzky before he retired. It was that bad.

In utter contrast, I loved trekking out to Rosemont to watch the Wolves. On the occasions when the Houston Aeros would play at what was then still called The Horizon, I would get hired by the Houston Chronicle to write up a game story and get some quotes. It was my pleasure.

Although definitely minor league in comparison to the NHL (such as the size of the locker rooms, number of concession stands and bathrooms, etc.), Levin was still able to create an in-stadium atmosphere at the Horizon that was cutting-edge in terms of what was then happening in the more progressive NHL markets: fan- and family-friendly promotions, entertainment antics, accessible front office people, helpful press assistants, the list goes on and on. Elsewhere in the world, NHL hockey was reinventing itself as a national-level sport. Everywhere but in Chicago, where the potential was so huge.

I still remember chatting after one Wolves-Aeros game with then-Wolves announcer JP Dellacamera (who's now the most prominent soccer play-by-play guy in the country and also calls the Atlanta Thrashers hockey games) about how, in my opinion, the Wolves organization, though tiny in comparison, totally outclassed the Blackhawks. Plus, you had to love it that Levin's fortune came in part from novelties like incense-stick holders and wacky light bulbs. And rolling papers. Do not forget that.

As a hockey fan, I always thought this situation was a shame, and wondered what the Hawks could do for Chicago if they were owned by someone who had a clue about fan and press relations. Now, hopefully, we may have a chance to find out. As described correctly by Steve Rosenbloom, Wirtz was indeed a hockey man who made the right move by joining with Jerry Reinsdorf to build a modern facility for the two teams - for that, you have to give him credit (although as a hockey venue, the cavernous United Center leaves much to be desired). But on the other hand, his organization was so lacking in understanding of basic human relations that it more than compensated for its accomplishment of the UC by nearly destroying the NHL in Chicago.

A resurgent Blackhawks organization under a new owner would be the best thing to happen to the NHL since the lost lockout season. We've been hearing this for years, but it's true: Chicago is a natural hockey market, and the success of the minor league Wolves proves that. It would take years of hard work for a new owner to repair the ill feelings left behind by decades of Wirtz's obtuseness, but I think it could be done, starting by lowering the average ticket price and striking a local TV deal. Those are no-brainers.

But beyond that, it probably wouldn't take much more than a commitment to the people of Chicago by a new owner that he doesn't think they're pond scum.

Posted by Don at 01:01 AM | Permalink

Over/Under

Last season, the most frequent caller in the Chicago sports radio world was The Angry Caller. Or, more to the point, The Angry At Rex Grossman Caller. This season it's already clear that, even with the benching of Sexy Rexy this week, Bears fans realize that the team's problems run deeper than just the quarterback position. Now we have a bevy of Confused Callers. Let's take a look.

*

Caller: "If only X would have happened, the Bears would have won . . . "
For Example: "If Hester would have got the corner" . . . "If Berrian didn't drop that pass" . . . "If Robbie Gould would have run in for a TD on that ridiculous fake FG attempt . . . "
Guess What? If my Aunt had nuts, she would be my Uncle.
Should You Listen To This Caller? No. It's like listening to lunatics explaining that if we don't fight the terrorists in Iraq, we'll have to fight them right here. Well Guess What?

*

Caller: "If only this team was healthier. "
For Example: "It's not fair" . . . "It's not fair" . . . "It's not fair."
Guess What: Depth isn't just a way to measure a river in Egypt.
Should You Listen To This Caller? No. Soon, you will start writing your Congressman believing you can actually change his/her mind on an issue.

*

Caller: "Here's my question: . . . I'll hang up and listen."
For Example: "If only the Bears were healthier." Click.
Guess What? A statement isn't a question, and a conversation takes two people - just like your wife keeps trying to tell you.
Should You Listen To This Caller? No. Soon you will be the guy who takes 20 minutes to ask about every item on a menu and 10 minutes asking how a dish can be changed. And then you will order a hamburger, fries and Coke.

*

Caller: "I don't know."
For Example: "Grossman can't turn the ball over, I don't know, they need a better running game, I don't know, the defense needs help, I don't know."
Guess What? Of course you don't know. That's why you're calling a sports radio show.
Should You Listen To This Caller? No. If he doesn't know, what the heck will you learn?

-

OverHyped Game of the Week: Steelers at Cardinals

The storyline: Three men coveted the Steelers head coach position. Mike Tomlin won, and the other two ran to Arizona. Now, the two disgraced coaches look for revenge against their former employers.

Reality: Have you heard of the maxim "You cannot shine a turd"? Well, Arizona is the turd.

Pick: Pittsburgh Minus 6 Points, Over 41.5 Points Scored.

-

UnderHyped Game of the Week: New England at Cincinnati

The storyline: Probably something about cheating and trouble with the law, respectively.

Reality: Do you like points? How about offenses gaining large chunks of yards? Do you like the feeling that no lead is safe? Are you a Cubs fan afraid of watching your team give up a lead so you want to watch somebody else do it? This game is for you.

Pick: New England Minus 7, Over 52.5 Points Scored.

-

Results
Last week: 4-2 (1-2 Against the Spread, 3-0 Over/Under)
Season: 10-8 (4-5 Against the Spread, 6-3 Over/Under)

-

For more Emery, see the Kool-Aid archive, and the Over/Under archive. Emery accepts comments from Bears fans reluctantly and everyone else tolerably.

Posted by Lou at 12:58 AM | Permalink

Chicagoetry: The Hawk

THE HAWK

Faces in the bitter cold
crowd:
A frozen bough breaks
under a murder
of sleek crows. Rooks

shriek beneath
the black-winged
clouds.

Red buses whir and whiz,
careening through the sprawl,
black tires bare
with bribes . . . say: briared

with bribes. Sign
of the times!
Drunken buses
reeling, poor folk keening

feckless
underneath.
Hawks yet lurk
On the Rookery roof.

This cliff, this ledge,
intercedes between us,
the rust-red dust,
and the Martian
dusk.

The cold hawk scans,
clutching curved
glass, awaiting a collapse,
just one, small fall.

Mine, on the February La Salle Street
Ice.
The hawk sees,
And waits

to break.

-

J. J. Tindall is the Beachwood's poet-in-residence. He can reached at jjtindall@yahoo.com. Chicagoetry is an exclusive Beachwood collection-in-progress.

Posted by Lou at 12:41 AM | Permalink

Reviewing the Reviews

Sept. 22 - 23.

I tried to read On The Road again last weekend. I took nothing else but my 25th anniversary paperback edition - it's the 50th anniversary this year - with me on the plane so I would be forced to read it and nothing else.

I couldn't get past page 10. I read the SkyMall magazine instead. There's a lot of cool stuff in there!

Really. I've tried to read On The Road umpteen times over the years (see the second entry for the Sun-Times here.) It bores me to tears. And I'm a reader, folks. I read books. I couldn't do it, and I doubt I'll try ever again.

Tell me what I'm missing. Comments with a real full name will be considered for publication.

*

Publication: Tribune

Cover: "Best Reads For Fall." The artwork is, um, outlines of what appear to leaves against an orange background. Dig in!

Other Reviews & News of Note: There are actually only four reviews in the entire publication. Let's take a look at how the other pages are used up:

1. Three pages of "Literary Event