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« March 2007 | Main | May 2007 »
April 30, 2007
Ebertfest: A Champaign Toast
Roger Ebert's ninth annual Overlooked Film Festival almost didn't happen. The beloved and influential film critic who started the festival became deathly ill almost a year ago when his carotid artery, weakened by radiation therapy to treat his cancer of the thyroid and salivary gland, finally split following surgery. His recovery, watched anxiously by his family and friends as well as his many fans, has been very slow. The fate of his annual festival of offroad films, though a much lesser concern, still had many of us wondering and hoping that this very special event would somehow pull through, too. When Roger got the news that the full-festival passes had sold out a week after they went on sale, he was determined to go on with the show.
Therefore, this year's festival, held April 25-29, was the most special of them all. I attended the very first Overlooked Festival, and I knew right away that this was not like any other film festival in the country. There is only one venue, a movie palace from the 1920s named the Virginia Theatre, in the heart of downtown Champaign, Illinois. This town and its twin city Urbana are home to the University of Illinois, Roger Ebert's alma mater; the university's film studies department has been the benefactor of proceeds from the festival. Mainly locals filled the seats of the dilapidated Virginia the first year.
I've watched the festival grow more national in scope - and the theatre get some much-needed repairs - but it is still primarily a local affair with a relaxed, almost picnic-like atmosphere. Pass holders throw their coats, umbrellas, and festival programs over their chosen seats for the duration of the festival (a real annoyance to single-ticket holders like me); this year, one woman in the row in front of me made a mad search for her bag of knitting, which had mysteriously vanished (she found it). Two food tents selling burgers and polish sausages feed a horde of festival goers who sit at picnic tables or go off to the nearby park for what invariably turns out to be a warm and cloudless day.
The films Roger chooses have given me some wonderful surprises, from the searing portrait of the dysfunctional marriage of Norwegian novelist Knut Hamsun of Hamsun to the beyond dysfunctional relationship between a misogynist and his junkie male roommate of Surrender Dorothy. He always draws top-flight guests, too. I took in four films this year - reviewed at Ferdy on Films - and was honored to share air space with the legendary and hilarious Werner Herzog, actress/director Joey Lauren Adams (Chasing Amy), actor Scott Wilson (Clay Pigeons, The Host), Dutch/Australian director Paul Cox, and film scholar David Bordwell. Others on Roger's eclectic guest list were actors Alan Rickman, Gil Bellows, Fatoumata Coulibaly (Moolaade), singer/songwriter Jim White, and the 60s rock band The Strawberry Alarm Clock.
It was fun to watch Roger's wife Chaz hand out the Golden Thumb awards to each of the film directors and listen to their heartfelt tributes to Roger. It was fascinating to watch Herzog appear in Cox's film Man of Flowers, talk about how they shared an actor across two films (Norman Kaye), and listen to Cox's dire predictions for the human race. Herzog said he didn't agree with Cox, and then said, "Five years ago, you said the same thing. You are always gloomy." After the screening of her film, Come Early Morning, one audience member asked Joey Lauren Adams a question and then asked her and Scott Wilson, who appears in the film, to go for a drink with him. Adams, after a long pause to let the laughter die down, said, "What was the question?" then another pause for laughter, and then "Which bar?" This is typical Ebertfest.
Finally, of course, the most important guest at this year's festival was Roger himself. If you read his April 24 column in the Chicago Sun-Times or saw opening night coverage of the festival on WGN-TV, you know he's not looking very well. I came face-to-face with him in the theatre lobby walking with Chaz and was struck by how tired he looked at that moment. Later, however, I saw him happily signing an autograph seated in his La-Z-Boy lounger in the last row of the Virginia's main floor. While we all missed his wonderful and warm film introductions and interviews with his guests, it was so great to see him stand up to his illness and those who would rather he hide it, and make room for joy. Herzog, in a rare serious moment, called Roger "the consciousness of those of us who love film." In his odd Germanicized English, Herzog got it exactly right - Roger is the voice of film lovers everywhere. I'm looking forward to further explorations next year, when the festival makes its informal name official: Ebertfest - Roger Ebert's Film Festival.
Posted by Lou at 04:48 PM | Permalink
The Blue & Orange Kool-Aid Report: Draft Special
If you survived ESPN's 837 hours of coverage over the weekend, you discovered that nothing is more captivating to teams and pundits alike than draft day trades; nothing except the humiliation of an overdressed dork who still can't win the big one, that is.
The Beloved, however, held on to Angry Lance Briggs, the Bear Most Likely To Be Traded going into the weekend, and instead merely swapped one higher draft pick for a bevy of lesser ones.
Pity. Here are some other trades the Bears should have made this weekend:
Trade: A package of draft picks to acquire Oklahoma RB Adrian Peterson.
Benefit: Allows unknowledgeable Bears fans to accidentally know the name of two Bears running backs when they think they just know one.
Drawback: Gives Bears play-by-play announcer Jeff Joniak a reason to yell "Adrian Peterson Number Two. . . TOUCHDOWN BEARSSSSSS!"
*
Trade: Bears front office for Chicago 2016 Olympic Committee front office.
Benefit: Olympics will come in under budget with outstanding results.
Drawback: Next free agent signed by the Bears will receive a 12-year, $1 billion contract.
*
Trade: Lance "No Missed Games in Four Seasons" Briggs to the CTA for outgoing transit chief Frank Kreusi.
Benefit: Slow zones disappear until Briggs' contract is up for renewal.
Drawback: Team bus arrives late to every game.
*
Trade: Brian Piccolo award winners John Tait and Chris Harris to the City of Chicago for an alderman to be named later.
Benefit: Tait and Harris prevail upon other aldermen to vote their conscience.
Drawback: Aldermen have no conscience; Soldier Field parking lot rezoned for massive condo development that blocks view of downtown Chicago from Soldier Field.
*
Trade: Ability to win in the postseason while in an inferior conference to the Bulls for charm of a multi-ethnic roster.
Benefit: See Bulls appear (and lose) in the NBA Finals.
Drawback: Bears appear (and lose) in the Super Bowl.
*
Trade: Team unit concept to Cubs for sweetheart WGN television contract and a some ivy.
Benefit: Cubs lose as a team rather than lose as individual disparate parts.
Drawback: Bears build team in Jim Hendry's image; forced to play linebackers at wide receiver and offensive linemen in the secondary.
Eric Emery is the Beachwood's resident football writer. Catch up with The Blue & Orange Kool-Aid Report and Over/Under.
Posted by Lou at 03:52 PM | Permalink
The [Monday] Papers
Well, it took the entire Washington, D.C., bureau of the Tribune and Hurricane Katrina coverage from AP to beat out The Beachwood Reporter in the Lisagor Awards held Friday night.
That's who our finalists, Home for the Holidays and Barista!, were up against.
Just think what we'll be able to do when we actually have some money.
Race to the Bottom
Mancow Muller beat Debra Pickett in the television commentary category.
Is that more humiliating to her or him?
Earthbound Obama
MSNBC blowhard Chris Matthews said - astonishingly - after the South Carolina debate last week that he thought Barack Obama gave the most sophisticated performance. Other reviews have been less charitable; Obama showed himself to be out of his depth on foreign policy and unprepared for world leadership.
That's not just me talking.
* Lynn Sweet wrote that Obama stumbled during the South Carolina debate, and provides a list of wrong and wrongheaded assertions. The subhead on her column says Obama "comes across as out of touch on even noncontroversial issues."
* MSNBC host Joe Scarborough on Huffington Post: "Let's face it, the guy wasn't JFK or Bobby last night. He wasn't even Mario Cuomo. Instead, Barack Obama acted like a candidate who was a state senator the last time a presidential debate was conducted."
* Political writer Eric Krol in the Daily Herald opened his report this way: "Sen. Hillary Clinton fired sharp salvos against President Bush on the war, Sen. Barack Obama needed a second shot at answering what he'd do in the event of a terrorist attack and the digs were mostly subtle in the first Democratic presidential debate Thursday night."
* Even Obama courtier Neil Steinberg, who once joyously imagined himself propping his feet up on President Obama's desk in the Oval Office while popping nuts into his mouth, isn't so sure anymore (last item - before Today's Chuckle).
And it's not just the debate.
* Carol Marin wrote on Saturday that she and colleague Tim Novak had to physically chase Obama to ask questions about the slum buildings Rezko built in Obama's state senate district.
* Rich Miller, heretofore an Obama fan, wrote in his Sun-Times column on Friday about where Obama stood in the recent city council elections: "Obama refused to endorse any of the insurgent candidates this year, sticking with the Daley Machine and openly endorsing faded hack Ald. Tillman in her losing race to Pat Dowell, who is truly a breath of fresh air.
"It's more than a little ironic that a self-styled 'new politics' guy like Obama has no strong ties to the newly elected aldermen who seem to share so many of his self-professed political values. He's just lucky that no national political reporter has covered this hypocrisy angle yet."
* Hip hop impresario Russell Simmons said in a New York Times interview that "I wish [Obama] really did raise his money on the Internet, like he said. I wish he really did raise his money independently."
Perhaps Simmons read this.
* On Week in Review, host Joel Weisman asked his panel if Obama is not the kind of politician he's been portraying himself as. The consensus: He's not.
CLTV political reporter Carlos Hernandez Gomez described the "disdain" the Obama campaign has for the press (hey, that's what you get for being pushovers; look at the mayor's attitude); criticized Obama's endorsement of Todd Stroger, and said Obama had "a pattern of questionable judgement at best."
Sun-Times business editor Dan Miller noted that Obama didn't tell his paper - but told the rest of the media - about the belated press conference Obama held to respond to the Sun-Times's story about Rezko's slum properties and Obama's further connections to Rezko. Rebutting a story without facing the reporter who knows the most about it and whom you've already ducked for five weeks; very classy.
* New Sun-Times ad promoting its news coverage: "Running for President or from the Past?"
With a pensive, shadowy photo of Obama looking away from the camera.
Welcome to Planet Earth, everybody. I've been waiting for you.
The Audacity of Obama's Faith
The New York Times has a revealing story today on its front page exploring Obama's relationship with his pastor, Jeremiah Wright. I hope to have more on this later in the week.
Forrest Rezko
Is Tony Rezko the ultimate insider's insider? Seems he had his hooks into every political power and fiefdom in the state. The latest revelation comes in today's Sun-Times, which reports that four years after a company with ties to Rezko "landed a lucrative no-bid Cook County contract, there's no evidence the firm has done any work for the millions of dollars it has made."
The best part:
"For almost a year, Crucial Communications was nominally headed by a dead woman, and John Stroger's personal assistant notarized documents confirming her continued involvement."
Tony and Richie
"What we didn't know was that Rezko had for years been one of the city's biggest slumlords," Marin wrote. "That within days of Mayor Daley's first election in 1989, this Park District hot dog vendor who had no construction experience would begin getting $100 million in city, state and federal tax dollars and bank loans to provide affordable housing for Chicago's needy citizens."
What, Mike North wasn't available?
"While some residents of Rezko's buildings were shivering without heat because he wasn't paying utility bills, Rezko still managed somehow to write checks to politicians."
Being Jackie
Check out the response of the mayor's press secretary to Marin and ask yourself if Jackie Heard ever gets tired of the deceit.
The Torture Mayor
"What went on - plastic bags over heads; shackling to hot radiators; gun barrels in mouths; electrical shocks to ears nostrils and genitals; cigarette burns to arms, legs and chests - is now well known and has been cited repeatedly in court opinions and, last year, in a special prosecutors' report," Rob Warden wrote in the Trib on Sunday.
"No so well known, however, is Daley's own role in the scandal, first as Cook County state's attorney, then as mayor."
Going Condo
A study will be released today documenting "the dramatic changes that took place in the city's housing stock from 1989 to 2004, changes that have transformed the face of neighborhoods and heightened concerns about affordability," the Tribune reports.
"For years, residents have perceived that 'something big was going on ' in the city's housing stock, said report co-author David Merriman," the Trib says. But the analysis of previously understudied data, he said, quantifies the true scope of the boom in housing construction."
Manny's Place
Ald. Manny Flores (1st), whose ward encompasses much of the Wicker Park area where gentrification has been most dramatic, expresses sympathy in the Trib story for those who cannot afford to rent. Unnoted is that Flores lives in one of the very (big and ugly) condos that are part of the problem, not the solution.
Political Development
"Throughout the neighborhoods that Chicago Journal covers," Hadyn Bush writes, "the management of new development trumped everything else this election cycle as the major issue, eclipsing old standbys like crime and education. While the Sun-Times and the Tribune noted the heavy union involvement this election cycle at the grass roots level - with the Tribune endorsing Second Ward Ald. Madeline Haithcock and 42nd Ward Alderman Burton Natarus solely on the strength of their votes last year against the living wage big box ordinance - development along with aldermanic accessibility was the major issue of concern."
Loving Lori
Every time the mayor fills a high-profile position, we get the profile of how wonderful that person is. And so it is with the absolutely amazing Lori Healey, the mayor's new chief of staff.
"After 18 months as planning commissioner, three years as vice chair of the Chicago Housing Authority and eight years with the Illinois Department of Commerce and Community Affairs, Healey believes she's up to the task," Fran Spielman "reports."
I can read a resume too. What did she do in those jobs?
Certainly she made some enemies - or at least opponents. What do they have to say? It's easy to quote friends.
I mean, Healey was the city's planning commissioner. Which plans was she responsible for? Did she let developers get away with carte blanche? Did she have awful taste?
Healey was on the CHA board. What impact did she have on the Plan for Transformation? Or did she just sit there?
And can someone please explain to me just what the mayor's chief of staff actually does? Is she the mayor's Leo McGarry, making political and strategic decisions? Is she the de facto city manager? Does she basically control the mayor's schedule? A little primer would be nice.
New Coke Formula
"$6.7 million In Cocaine Seized At O'Hare."
Will be sold on West Side to pay for expansion overruns.
Slam Dunk
If what George Tenet said on 60 Minutes last night is true - and maybe he's just covering his ass - it is now officially an inescapable conclusion that George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Don Rumsfeld and Condi Rice are war criminals.
Civility Rules
"Let us be reminded that an adversary is not the same thing as an enemy, nor does an evening of civility mean we are selling out," says Steve Scully, president of the White House Correspondents Association.
Memo to Scully: Civility starts when the administation stops lying to you. Otherwise I find it hard to countenance yukking it up with these guys.
The Beachwood Tip Line: Your civil defense system.
Posted by Lou at 08:59 AM | Permalink
The Cub Factor
Through the first 23 games of the season it has become painfully obvious that the roster of this Chicago Cub team is ill-equipped to play winning baseball. A 25-man roster filled with too many second basemen, too many outfielders, and second basemen who play outfield has left Uncle Lou putting more lineups together than the Chicago Police Department. Square players being jammed into round holes just doesn't really work. What's funny is that this team has a number of nice puzzle pieces; it's just that the pieces belong to a few different puzzles. Jim Hendry is to blame, of course. How he has kept his job the last few years is perhaps the greatest puzzle of all.
So we here at The Cub Factor thought it would be fun to look at some other life instances that remind us of the 2007 Chicago Cub roster.
* You go camping with a tent that has no center pole but two extra corner poles.
* You show up for your SAT with three pens but no pencil.
* You go to the 7-11 to buy a pack of gum but you only have a $100 bill, so you buy a couple cups of Ramen, an egg salad sandwich, some paper towels and an US Weekly to pad the bill. And once you leave the store you realize you forgot the gum.
* You have a 55-gallon drum of baby's milk and a hungry baby, but no bottle.
* You try to buy a Twix from the vending machine at work with the last of your spare change, but the Dried Fruit Trail Mix falls instead. You try to pretend the trail mix is a Twix, but all your work friends can see you have failed to adjust to changing conditions.
* You go camping again without a center pole and try to use a tree branch instead, but it snaps. Then it starts to rain so you sleep in the car, but there's five of you and you drive a Dodge Neon so it's really cramped. So you toss and turn all night and hurt your back and feel like crap the next morning and you're supposed to be on vacation. You blame the weather, not your poor planning.
*
Week in Review: The Cubs went 3-2 this week, losing two of three to the (still in) first place Milwaukee Brewers and taking two games from the Cardinals, to bring their record to 10-13, tied with the Cardinals for last place in the division. But the Cardinals won the World Series last year, so in my book the Cubs are still in last.
Week in Preview: The Cubs take a 3-game winning streak to Pittsburgh for three against a hovering-around-.500 Pirate team; then they are home against the Washington Generals, um, I mean Nationals, the worst team in the National League. Expect the umpires to throw a bucket or two of confetti on the crowd next weekend, good times.
Second Basemen Report: We may have closure! Looks like Mark DeRosa will be the real second baseman. DeRosa started at second for all five games this week just when we thought he was headed to the outfield. In other second baseman news, Ryan Theriot now looks to be the starting shortstop. I'm sure that's what Hendry thought would happen when they got Cesar Izturis from the Dodgers in the Nomar Garciaparra deal for Greg Maddux. It's all going according to plan . . .
In former cub Second baseman news, Miguel Cairo is playing second base with the Yankees this season. He has had 9 at bats this season without a hit, but he's due. He is missed.
Two-Hole Report: In second place in the batting order news, The Cub Factor would like to welcome Felix Pie. He now joins DeRosa, Theriot, Cliff Floyd, Jacque Jones, and Matt Murton as players who have batted second to start a game. Also, in last Monday's 5-4 defeat to the Brewers, there were eight players in the number two spot in the batting order.
Floyd, RF 2 1 0 0 1 2 1 .250
b-Murton, PH 1 0 0 0 0 0 2 .270
Eyre, P 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .000
Howry, P 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .000
e-Theriot, PH 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 .340
Dempster, P 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .000
f-Marquis, PH 1 0 0 0 0 1 1 .273
Cherry, P
Sure, they didn't all take a swing, but this is typically is more of a "ninth" spot-in-the-order situation.
Sweet and Sour Lou: 49% sweet and 51% sour. No change on the Sweet-O-Meter from last week. Yes, the Cubs did go 3-2 for the week, but Lou is still plenty grumpy about the games they fumbled away
Mount Lou: Lou is stable right now as the Cubs show a fraction of life. But losing next weekend's series to the Nationals at home will bring dumb questions and magma to the surface. Look for an eruption around the fifth inning on Saturday.
Beachwood Sabermetrics: A complex algorithm performed by the The Cub Factor staff using all historical data made available by Major League Baseball has determined that on-field temperature affects both teams playing.
Over/Under: Plays a "real" shortstop would make this week but don't "count" as errors for Theriot: 2.5
*
Posted by Lou at 07:32 AM | Permalink
Cab #3067
Date Taken: 4/27/07
From: Roscoe Village
To: Old Irving
The Cab: Heavily fortified and upholstered in rich tobacco hues. Fort Knox-style rear doors. Maybe it was the deep-gauge vinyl seat covering, but the whole thing seemed thicker than a normal cab.
The Driver: Boasted a polite demeanor and smoking-hot physical appearance, yet remained a study in perpetual twitchery. Changed radio stations at least once per block. First it was a Bulls game, then a Sox game, then smooth jazz, then classic rock. A full accounting was impossible as the one-handed dial flipping was punctuated frequently with bursts of the car's horn that outlasted the station selection. The red-rimmed eyes and constant nose-rubbing could charitably be explained as the result of a particularly virulent allergy attack, but factor in the suspicious rear-view mirror stare-downs and general air of paranoia and, well . . . let's just say that had Driver #3067 been more than a passing acquaintance, the northwest corner of Irving and California might have been fertile staging ground for an impromptu intervention.
The Driving: Smooth and proficient. Accented with appropriate bursts of well-measured aggression. Every traffic-avoidance maneuver was a complete success.
Overall rating: 4 extended arms. What? He was hot.
- Natasha Julius
There are more than 6,000 cabs in the city of Chicago. We intend to review every one of them.
Posted by Natasha at 12:22 AM | Permalink
April 28, 2007
The Weekend Desk Report
Here are the stories that will shape our weekend.
Market Update
IBM appears set to weather the storm after the failure of its Big Boris operating system. Investors have expressed confidence in the strength of the company's flagship Cheneybot brand. Meanwhile, Apple Corp's plans to corner the youth market with a line of flashy but largely non-fuinctional androids continues to pay dividends.
Far From Home
U.S. authorities this week announced they have captured a major Iraqi al-Qaeda operative nowhere near Iraq. Just saying.
Oz Update
We appreciate the generosity, but the heart isn't going to do the Scarecrow any good. He still needs a a brain, a soul, a conscience, and possibly a new attorney general.
Campaign '08
Advisors for the top Democratic presidential hopefuls say they have found a novel way to dispense with the record-breaking sums in their campaign war chests: boring the crap out of potential voters in record-breaking time. Republicans reportedly plan to match the effort in the near future.
Governing Class
Meanwhile, panicked citizens this week called for the arrest of our nation's state governors after a recent spate of high-risk behaviors including joy riding and eating disorders indicated a deep antisocial loathing coloring the ruling class. Oh wait, no . . . never mind. Our bad.
Bad For America
Finally, echoing what several incumbent Chicago aldermen have discovered, scientists this week presented hard evidence that Wal-Mart drives just about everything out of business.
Posted by Natasha at 07:48 AM | Permalink
April 27, 2007
The [Friday] Papers
1. Tribune public editor Timothy McNulty responds today to Bill Moyers' Buying the War program, which aired Wednesday night, by examining his paper's performance in cheerleading the Iraq War instead of questioning the basic presumptions that were so obviously false even to many at the time. McNulty also talks to the Trib's editors and reporters about what went wrong and why; the Trib staff was remarkably cooperative in the interest of the transparency, honesty, and truth they say their paper is built on - and which they demand of the subjects they write about.
Oh, wait. That didn't happen. Instead, McNulty served up a bunch of mush.
2. John Records Landecker was forced by 104.3 management when he was on the air there to stop playing a version of the National Anthem sung by the Dixie Chicks. See comment No. 2 in yesterday's column.
3. The best analysis of last night's debate in South Carolina between the Democratic presidential candidates happens to be ours.
4. "Clinton and Obama avoided any direct criticism from rivals," Tribune national correspondent Mark Silva reports.
I guess Silva was in the bathroom when Dennis Kucinich challenged Obama directly - by name - about his hawkish stance on Iran. Former Alaska Sen. Mike Gravel - true, crazy, but he was on stage and part of the debate - also directly challenged Obama by name on Iran. And maybe Silva was fetching another beer when John Edwards said about Obama's vague health care position that "Rhetoric's not enough. High-falutin' language is not enough."
5. "Obama, who had already answered a question about handling terrorism, returned to the issue later without prompting," Silva writes.
Not really. Obama was prompted by the realization that he flubbed his answer the first time.
6. As Silva notes, Hillary was asked if Wal-Mart was good or bad for America. Neither Silva nor moderator Brian Williams mentioned that she served on Wal-Mart's board of directors from 1986 to 1992.
7. Of course, it will be interesting to see how Obama answers questions about Wal-Mart too, seeing as how he endorsed pro-Wal-Mart alderman Dorothy Tillman over her successful, union-backed challenger Pat Dowell.
8. "Not long after Barack Obama entered the U.S. Senate, for instance, his wife was offered a position on the board of TreeHouse Foods, a Westchester-based maker of specialty foods," the Tribune has reported.
"In 2006, the company paid her $51,200 for her board activities, according to the Obamas' just-filed federal income tax return. Factoring in stock options and other payments, the value of her compensation package for serving on the TreeHouse board last year was $101,083, a recent filing with the Securities and Exchange Commission shows.
"TreeHouse packages pickles and other private-label foods for retailers. By far its largest customer is Wal-Mart. Barack Obama has been sharply critical of Wal-Mart's business and labor practices - criticizing the giant retailer last fall for paying low wages and poor benefits while making big profits."
In other words, Wal-Mart has been very good to the Obamas.
"Dining dames: The luncheon drew power femmes including Terry Savage, Leslie Hindman, Deputy Gov. Sheila Nix, WTTW's Elizabeth Brackett and Judy Gold, who helped organize the event and whose baby is due in weeks."
A source tells the Beachwood Judy Gold had her baby two weeks ago.
Editor-in-Chief Michael Cooke and Managing Editor Don Hayner stand by her misreporting.
10. "It's the suburban Spire."
Yes. Nothing like the real thing.
11. "Hillary Clinton's Presidential campaign was designed and built to be a dreadnought, an all-big-gun battleship that would rule the waves without being dented, slowed or thrown off course," Time reports. "But it has been caught off guard by a submarine named Barack Obama, running silent, running deep - until he surfaced with a spectacular showing in the first round of fund-raising numbers.
Yes, Obama has been running silent and deep. You'd barely have known he was campaigning given the dearth of attention he's gotten.
12. The Time article is interesting though in its revelations of just how aggressively Obama the Grass-Roots Reformer is working the phones for campaign cash from the nation's ruling class.
13. From a New York Times story this week on the jinxed Block 37: "Mayor Richard M. Daley, in an e-mail message, said the development "helps strengthen downtown Chicago. And a strong downtown is what holds a city together; it's the focal point, and it gives the city its identity."
Aside from the highly disputable but revealing point made by the mayor, I wonder what the NYT's policy is about putting elected officials' names on comments written by staff - as well as accepting an e-mail response in lieu of an actual interview or the joy of writing that the mayor refused to comment.
14. The funny thing about the Chicago Tonight commentaries by Debra Pickett and Mancow Muller is that neither one has their day job anymore.
15. Baseball Terminology That Sounds Just the Slightest Bit Kinky To Me.
From James Finn Garner, who is also featured in today's Beachwood Reporter explaining the why our skyline perfectly illustrates a lesson you learned in your 8th-grade science class.
16. JFG also has a new book coming out.
17. From an e-mail solicitation for donations sent by the Obama campaign this week:
"Corruption and incompetence paralyze our government, America's ability to lead the world is diminished, and the fundamental fairness of our society diminishes to benefit the privileged few."
Obama's endorsements of Richard M. Daley and Todd Stroger did not appear.
18. From the same solicitation:
"We need a movement of ordinary people to elect our next president because, for so many of us, what our president does is personal.
"Only by electing a president accountable to no one but the people will we restore America's global moral leadership.
"People like you will have more power over the process than ever before.
"And, if we succeed, we're going to elect a president who answers to the American people for a change."
The names of the extra-ordinary folks bankrolling Obama did not appear.
19. Does Hip Hop Hate Women? Find out on Saturday.
20. "Mr. Ryan's exploratory committee includes more members of the Pritzker clan - three: J. B., M. K. and Penny - than heads of local community groups: two. No West Side community group has been named to the exploratory committee, and despite the possibility of labor unrest, a panel that includes dozens and dozens of big-business types has only one union leader in its membership," Greg Hinz deftly notes in exhorting the mayor to open up the Olympic bid process.
I agree, and it sounds good, but I think it's a mistake to think the IOC gives a flying fuck about transparency and community participation. Hello, the next Games are in Beijing!
The Beachwood Tip Line: An uplifting experience.
Posted by Lou at 09:46 AM | Permalink
Mystery Debate Theater 2007
The Beachwood is proud to kick off its Mystery Debate Theater series with last night's Democratic brouhaha in South Carolina. Our commentary is provided by Steve Rhodes and Beachwood contributor Andrew Kingsford.
Note: We tuned in late, but just in time to see Barack Obama asked what he would consider "mission complete" status in Iraq and 100 percent not answer the question. He went nowhere near it. Let's pick up the action from there.
* * *
Obama is asked about his ties to Tony Rezko.
"We have thousands of donors . . . denounced him . . . I have a track record of bringing people together around this new kind of politics . . . my first bill passed campaign finance reform legislation. . . ethics reform in Congress . . . running this campaign, no money from registered federal lobbyists, PACS . . . organizing ordinary people."
SR: He totally didn't answer the question . . . did anyone realize Obama was practicing a new kind of politics in Springfield until he was running for president? . . . He's not taking money from registered federal lobbyists because they're unregistering and then writing the checks . . . He's organizing ordinary people into thinking his not raising money from the same corporate interests with such a stake in the old politics . . .
* * *
Dennis Kucinich is asked why he doesn't have more traction in the race given his prescient, vociferous (my words) anti-war stance.
SR: Because my ears are too big?
* * *
Chris Dodd: "My father was a prosecutor at Nuremberg."
SR: So Chris Dodd is the anti-Holocaust candidate.
* * *
Bill Richardson is asked about saying he didn't call for Alberto Gonzales' resignation because Gonzales, like Richardson, is Hispanic. Richardson spouts a bunch of nonsense.
SR: What he should have said is that diversity is such a rare, precious, and often under-attack commodity that we should be extra careful and sensitive in not prematurely calling for the resignation of a woman or person of color.
* * *
Dennis Kucinich. DK. Dice-K. Last time around, Kucinich said we should bring the troops home immediately. He was right. It doesn't matter. This is not a meritocracy, it's the presidency. More people still pay attention to Charles Krauthammer.
* * *
John Edwards tells the story of growing up the son of a mill worker, and going out to a restaurant once with his family, who had to leave after looking at the menu and realizing they couldn't afford to eat there.
SR: "I still can't afford the prices" . . . "And today, I own that restaurant" . . . we should elect someone who can't afford to eat out.
* * *
Former Alaska Sen. Mike Gravel makes his first statement.
Andrew: You have to go now. You have an appointment with lead poisoning.
* * *
"Some of these people frighten me," Gravel says of his fellow candidates on stage. He specifically cites Obama and his "nothing is off the table, including war" stance with Iran.
SR: Cranks always speak the most truth, don't they? For the first 15 minutes. Then they lose credibility.
* * *
Gravel tells Biden he has "a certain arrogance."
Is Mike Gravel the new Al Sharpton?
SR and Andrew agree we miss Sharpton up there.
SR and Andrew observe that Edwards seems to be giving the most direct answers.
* * *
Brian Williams tells Dodd that he is "the most Washington" guy up there.
Uh, no, Brian, that'd be you.
* * *
Obama on partial birth abortion: Let's move past what we disagree on and talk about preventing teen pregnancy instead.
SR: Ever notice that Obama's new politics is always about avoiding disagreements? But that's what policy is! He sees problems as a distraction, like the kid of divorced parents always trying to avoid conflict and get to a happy place. Like he said gay marriage is a distraction. Yes, to him, not to a gay couple!
* * *
John Edwards has the best tie.
* * *
Hillary Clinton also looks good in her gray and black ensemble, if you can excuse the pearls.
* * *
Obama on health care: What I would do is create a national pool for buy-in . . .
Andrew: Isn't that what HMO's are?
Obama: . . . control costs . . .
SR: . . . like my wife is doing at University of Chicago Medical Center, where she gets paid a ton of dough to kick poor people out of emergency rooms to keep the hospital's costs down . . .
Obama: . . . catastrophic . . .
SR: So he still has no health plan. Hillary has thought this stuff through a thousand-fold.
Hillary: . . . not just for the uninsured . . .
SR: Exactly. The issue is for all of us - not just the uninsured, though that's most important, but the fact that even people with health insurance can't afford it or aren't adequately covered. The whole system needs reform, not just bits and pieces. But to Obama, that's probably a distraction from the real issue, which is that we can all agree we should eat better and get more exercise.
Obama: . . . we need to deal with bureaucracy and inefficiency . . .
SR: Who is this guy, Ronald Reagan? Get the welfare queens out of our emergency rooms!
Brian Willams: This one goes to . . .
Andrew: . . . the crazy guy on the end!
* * *
Dennis Kucinich says his worst mistake in public life was firing his police chief live in the Six O'Clock News when he was mayor of Cleveland.
SR: That is so cool! That would be a lot of pols' best mistakes.
* * *
Obama's worst mistake was Tony Rezko . . . no, it was something about leaving the Senate floor with a distracting Terry Schiavo bill at hand.
SR: That will be the last time he'll use that answer. Axelrod is already reprogramming Obama's conscience.
* * *
Biden's worst mistake was overstimating the ability of the Bush Administration to carry out the Iraq war and underestimating its incompetence, or something. So, Joe, you want to be the president of the free world and have us place our trust in your ability to judge foreign leaders far more inscrutable than George W. Bush? Same for you, Hillary.
* * *
Citizen question: I have to pass a drug test at work . . .
SR: . . . and I was wondering if Obama could tell me where I can get that stuff that cleans your pee, or masks it or whatever . . .
* * *
Citizen question: Why are gas prices going back up when oil companies are making record profits?
Edwards: blah blah blah.
SR: Why not just say "Because the oil companies are greedy profiteers? Say it, damn it! Say it!"
* * *
Edwards: "We need Americans . . .
Andrew: . . . "to ride bikes more" . . .
* * *
Dice-K: For universal not-for-profit health care.
SR and Andrew: Yes!
* * *
Brian Williams asks candidates what they would do on their first day in the Oval Office.
SR: Pray. Get a blowjob.
Andrew: Set up my desktop so I can watch DVDs and cruise the Internet.
* * *
Brian Williams: Switching categories now . . .
Andrew: . . . to Things and People for $500 . . .
* * *
Barack Obama is asked who America's top three allies are. He totally flubs. "The European Union as a whole . . . "
SR: You can't name the European Union as a whole! "Yes, and number two are the Asian countries, and third, everyone else!"
The first answer is obviously England. And second is probably Canada. Who's third, Japan?
Andrew: Say Australia! Say Australia!
SR: He can't name three!
Andrew: He's taking time out of the mouth of the crazy guy.
SR: A nonsense answer to a simple question.
Brian Williams: You didn't mention Israel.
SR and Andrew: Oooooohhhhhhh!
* * *
Biden: Yes.
* * *
SR: Biden stealing from Neil McKinnock's speeches in 1988 vs. Obama's entanglements withTony Rezko. Compare and contrast.
* * *
Crazy Guy: "We have no important enemies."
* * *
SR: Obama is in a red tie. What a sellout.
* * *
Bill Richardson is the gesture king.
SR: Look, he's doing "here is the church, here is the steeple." But he forgot the people! He forgot the people!
* * *
Every candidate on stage except DK raises their hand to agree there is such a thing as the Global War on Terror.
SR: You are now all disqualified except for Dennis. Everyone else, your journey ends here.
* * *
Dice-K: "The Global War on Terror is a pretext."
* * *
SR: Next question: What's your favorite song? Or, If you had an affair with a former intern and the press found out . . .
Andrew: If you had to have sex with someone in George Bush's cabinet, who would it be and why?
* * *
The candidates are asked how they would alter America's military stance if they just found out that Al Qaeda had bombed two American cities.
Obama: The first thing to do . . is . . . make sure we have proper emergency response . . . like we didn't have in Katrina . . .
SR: He totally didn't answer. The answer is something like put ships in the Gulf, send troops to the Pakistan border, call up our allies . . . or maybe "I'd meet with our military leaders to determine that."
* * *
Same question to John Edwards.
SR: John, which cities would you prefer would have been destroyed?
Andrew: Well if it's Tulsa, Sacramento, and, let' say, Toledo, I'd leave it 'til Monday.
* * *
Same question to Hillary.
Andrew: First I would finish reading this children's book, then I would star aimlessly at a camera like a dazed wombat in headlights.
SR: I would invade Iraq.
* * *
Dice-K is the only one willing to impeach Dick Cheney. He continues to impress. But I think his hair isn't meant to be parted on the side. It should go straight back. He's forcing the issue, like Edwards.
* * *
Brian Williams quotesNew York Times columnist Tom Friedman, who was as wrong about the war as anyone on the planet. Question goes to Biden.
SR: I propose we shut Tom Friedman up.
Biden: Some variation on that.
* * *
SR: Crazy Guy would've been great on the two cities question.
* * *
Brian Willams asks Crazy Guy about the French system of, um, something. Nobody knows what he's talking about.
Crazy Guy answers anyway: We are mischaracterizing terrorism! Terrorism has been in civilization forever . . . it's like the war on drugs, it doesn't work.
* * *
Brian Williams asks the candidates what they have done personally to help the environment. Obama says his campaign had an Earth Day event. The question was about what he has done personally. He tries again with a campaign issue. He is asked again. He says he is trying to teach his daughters to use better lightbulbs.
* * *
Dice-K attacks Obama.
DK: "You made a very provocative statement. You previously said all options are on the table with respect to Iran. It's important to reflect on the real meaning of that. You're setting the state for another war . . . the connection between global warring and global warming is oil. Quit using war as an intrument of policy. Use energy policy . . .
Obama: It's not disputed by any expert that Iran is in process of possessing nuclear weapons.
DK: It is disupted!
SR: It is disputed! That's the crux of the issue - Iran says it's only interested in civilian use of nuclear energy, and even if they were interested in nuclear weapons, it's in dispute whether they are "in the process of possessing" them!
* * *
Crazy Guy: You know who is the greatest violator of nuclear non-proliferation?
Crazy Guy, SR, Andrew: We are!
* * *
Crazy Guy: Who the hell are we gonna nuke? Tell me, Barack!
* * *
John Edwards is asked who his moral leader is.
SR: Jesus! Or, "My wife has breast cancer."
Edwards: (uncomfortably long pause).
Andrew: Anton LaVey.
SR: Bon Scott.
Andrew: Because he lived fast, died young, and left a scrawny rock and roll corpse.
* * *
Post-Debate Punditry
SR: The conventional wisdom will be that no one won; Richardson hurt himself; the first tier helped itself; and a slight edge to Edwards.
Andrew: If I send my question in, it will be answered by the end of the campaign? Brian Williams just guaranteed on national television that our question will be answered!
Andrew: No one's shaking hands with the crazy guy.
* * *
Chris Matthews says Obama was the most sophisticated.
Andrew: In a pig's eye! Just like Obama's convention speech was fucking Gettysburg when the best speech was Sharpton's! But he was off-the-reservation . . .
* * *
Andrew, after a few more minutes of Matthews' expert analysis: Did we just watch the same debate?
SR: Yes, but he doesn't know who Bon Scott is.
* * *
Matthews says none of the candidates was willing to look any of the others in the eye.
Andrew: Oh, pig's ass! Crazy Dude was!
* * *
SR: Biden and Dodd were the adults up there tonight.
Andrew: Richardson is an administrator.
SR: A cabinet officer.
* * *
SR: The expert analysis now isn't about the substance of the candidates' answers, but how slickly they strategically avoided questions or manipulated the audience and viewers. Journalists have totally internalized the values of political consultants, who are paid to elide the truth while journalists are supposed to seek it. Partially that's because many of the "reporters," pundits and experts being called on are political consultants! And partially because journalists think they will be perceived as naive if they are earnest, while showing an insider's knowledge of the game shows them to be savvy, when in fact it really shows them to be cynical.
* * *
SR: Obama is getting the George W. Bush standard - he just has to avoid drooling like an idiot to be declared minimally competent. The press never learns.
Posted by Lou at 06:39 AM | Permalink
Seven Simple Machines
A lot of excitement was generated by the unveiling of the newest design for the Chicago Spire, and not just because it looks like a giant vanilla soft-serve. The possible erection of Santiago Calatrava's bright and airy skyscraper brought out the hidden science nerd in everyone, without people even realizing it. Why? If the Chicago Spire is built, it will complete Chicago's set of humongous-scale models of the Seven Simple Machines.
Think back to grade school. Imagine how excited your science teacher would be to see these gargantuan examples of applied science. Archimedes, eat your heart out.
| The Screw | 
|
| The Inclined Plane | 
|
| The Wedge | 
|
| The Gear | 
|
| And to complete the laboratory, Where Leverage and a little Pull(ey) keep the big Wheels in power. | 
|
Posted by Lou at 03:34 AM | Permalink
April 26, 2007
The [Thursday] Papers
It wasn't news to those of us who have been paying attention, but Bill Moyers' Buying the War on PBS last night was still enough to make me want to ring up Tony Peraica and lead a drunken midnight march on the Tribune, Sun-Times, and the local television stations for their role in leading this country to a historically tragic war. They have blood on their hands.
And they still haven't owned up.
The show was mostly about the national media's sickening performance in the run-up to the war, but its themes hold true locally. The Sun-Times was the war's biggest local cheerleader, perhaps egged on by corporate director Richard Perle, certainly following the wishes of Conrad Black and David Radler, and at the impetus most importantly of Michael Cooke, who remains the paper's Editor-in-Chief, and John Cruickshank, then Cooke's co-editor but now the publisher.
The paper's pimped-out patriotism was the most vile sort of opportunistic pandering, stuffing the news columns with fantastical claims about Saddam Hussein's weapons programs that never came to be (nor did corrections or apologies for doing so), pushing the administration's case for war even as those in the know - as Moyers' program shows - were aghast at the absurdities of the propaganda so easily placed in the press, and pretending that supporting the troops was to blindly send them to war to die even as the paper was unwilling itself to even embed a single reporter in even the safest military unit. Cruickshank at the time defended that decision by saying the war was best covered from Washington, D.C.
Cooke thought nothing of topping wire stories with the bylines of Sun-Times reporters to give readers the impression the paper was actually producing its own work, and then-city editor Don Hayner, now the managing editor, explained the sudden presence of the American flag on the paper's front page, now just as suddenly gone as it's no longer much useful, as the standard Chicago response to a nation at war.
These are the geniuses running your Sun-Times. Do any of them feel any responsibility?
The Tribune was only better by its blander, colder and more professional presentation of the same pack of lies. Its editorial page continues its contortions justifying the war rather than admitting it was schooled. They should be ashamed of themselves.
Moyers' report isn't only about the past, though. It's about whether the media will learn any lessons - chiefly, how to be journalists. There isn't much indication they will. Both papers are still filled with the pundits who were most forcefully wrong about the war - hell, Charles Krauthammer, among the worst of them, is the favorite columnist of new Tribune Company owner Sam Zell - and independent reporting is becoming increasingly rare as the deadly combination of budget cuts and market research turn our press corps into shopping and fitness experts.
Worse, the Tribune Company is consolidating its foreign and national reporting just as Moyers shows how important it is to have as many different reporters working these stories as possible. Tribune Company prefers a future in which we all get the same single report, invariably from a reporter like Judith Miller. What corporate wankers see as redundancy is instead a basic necessity of doing even a minimal baseline of standard reporting about governments deciding issues with the most deadliest of consequences. Fewer national and foreign reporters equals more dead American kids.
It's no wonder the oldstream news is no longer perceived as an authoritative source, particularly among young people. The old media companies have eroded their brands - not to survive, but to maintain obscene profit levels - at just the time when brand authority is the most valuable marketing tool available to organizations trying to break through the media clutter.
The best business move any news company can make is to invest in real journalists with backbone who are too busy studying documents and talking to sources to make it to all the right cocktail parties or back home to their suburban estates in time for Desperate Housewives. Perhaps the central irony is that committing real journalism is actually good business. Oh, and it also saves lives.
And So It Goes
We're still learning, after all these years, the truths behind the Pat Tillman and Jessica Lynch stories. Like the continued revelations of the U.S. attorneys firings fiasco, those stories teach an important lesson I was taught 20 years ago as a young reporter: Keep going. The truth is 10 times worse than you think it is.
While that isn't always literally true, the approach is the point.
It's an approach I assumed the Chicago press corps would have when I moved here 15 years ago. I was astoundingly wrong. All this nonsense about Mike Royko, City News Bureau, the Billy Goat . . . do you see any evidence in your papers that, as a general principle, Chicago's press corps knows what any of it is supposed to stand for? The flimsiest of journalists in this town worship at the ghost of Royko even as they cower at the shadow of the mayor and other powers that be. They are like gentrifiers - they know there's something happening in Royko's neighborhood, but they don't know what it is. They just know they want it to reflect on them somehow. So they kill it even as they think they are honoring it.
And so you get Richard M. Daley, the World's Greatest Mayor; Barack Obama, the Lincoln-like rock star; and all the rest. What you don't get is journalism. Nobody seems to even remember what that is anymore.
In Today's Reporter
* What Obama doesn't want you to know about his fundraising.
* Scott Buckner is back watching TV, and if you're not reading his reports you're missing out.
* From the archives: The Great American Jobs Machine.
EDITOR'S NOTE: If you liked today's column, send it to as many people as you can think of. If you didn't, maybe I'll be in a better mood tomorrow. Either way, watch the Moyers' program. It should be required viewing in every newsroom (and boardroom) in America.
Comments? Use the Tip Line. You must provide a real name to be considered for publication - or a good reason why you can't.
COMMENTS
1. From Tim Howe:
. . . and high school civics classes.
Well put, but the editorial role taken by the S-T, Trib, et al, is nothing new. There are some who say that Hearst single-handedly started the Spanish-American War. Certainly he played a much larger role in leading the country into that conflict than today's media did with Iraq, though their complicity is unquestionable.
And nationally, there have been significant voices in opposition: Moyers, Krugman and others. They tend to get drowned out though, particularly when the aforementioned players are helping the government stir up a wounded nation's thirst for blood.
If your point is that individual reporters in Chicago today can't hold a candle to their predecessors, you'll get no argument here. But were there ever legions of truly intrepid, strong-voiced journalists in Chicago? Or is it that among those that practiced their trade here were such giants that the rest of the gang got by on reflected reputation?
There are still a few who do the dirty work, like Carol Marin, and who speak truth to power, like John Kass (though I continue to believe that he goes over the line enough that it blunts the good points he does make).
But who's paying attention? Who's reading the papers? Or even watching on TV? You can make the argument that the poor product has pushed people away from reading the daily paper, but readership would be down significantly - just as viewership is down for local TV news - due to fragmentation and the proliferation of alternatives for our attention anyway. The degree to which you apportion that decline can be debated ad nauseum.
Anyway. Your voice on the specific issue of the war is appreciated, and your efforts to prod the Chicago press to do a better job are important. Keep it up.
2. From Rick Kaempfer:
I was getting bad flashbacks watching the Bill Moyers special the other night. He captured the mood of this country leading up to war perfectly. I was John Landecker's producer at the time on WJMK 104.3. We used to start the show every morning after 9/11 with the National Anthem. It was a beautiful version of the song sung by the Dixie Chicks at the Super Bowl. After Natalie Maines said what she did, the program director ordered us to stop playing it. That's right. He ordered us to stop playing the National Anthem. I told him to put that in writing. He wouldn't do it - but he threatened to fire us if we continued playing it. We actually considered allowing him to fire us for that, but we didn't think this was a war (no pun intended) worth fighting. Ironically, we were fired anyway a few months later.
3. Reader's programming note:
It looks like WTTW is rerunning this program only once. So if you're a night owl or have a TIVO/DVR, you can catch it next Sunday, April 29th, at 3:30 a.m.
4. Reader's programming note:
Also, if you have sufficient bandwidth, you can watch the show online here.
5. From Marilyn Ferdinand:
Your column today, like the Moyers report last night, made me feel incredibly sad. I wanted to become a journalist not because of Woodward and Bernstein, but because of the great newspaper tradition Chicago had when I was young. My heart is broken.
I saw that Oprah show Moyers excerpted, and wrote her the one and only time in my life to tell her I was absolutely appalled at her jingoism and slanted show, knowing full well her enormous influence on people, particularly women, who were opposed to the war in large numbers at that time. To her credit, she ran another show a couple of weeks later that showed the skeptics, including Anna Quindlen.
Maybe the media have blood on their hands, but so do many Americans who didn't demand that their news organizations tell them the truth. Vengeance was moving a nation - not just a media that was in bed with the neocons. If newspapers die, it will be suicide, not Internet murder.
Posted by Lou at 08:19 AM | Permalink
What I Watched Last Night
My evening started off with ABC's World News showing President Bush dancing and banging a drum onstage with a highly colorful African drum troupe. What followed for me was the exact same thought a bazillion other people worldwide with access to television sets had at the exact same moment:
Back in the day, the most embarrassing thing an American president would be caught doing in public was trying on a silly hat. President Reagan was good for this. How in the world could the president and his advisers - and the First Lady - not see this disaster coming? Perhaps President Bush was observing the death of former Russian President Boris Yeltsin by paying homage to Yeltsin's dance chops.
At least Yeltsin had the decency to be drunk at the time.
I imagine that sometime within the next few weeks, this video will make its way to a remote cave in the mountain wilderness of Afghanistan and someone will be saying, "Yo, Osama - you GOTTA get a load this . . . "
Ugly Underbelly
I spent a little time last night with ABC-TV's Notes From The Underbelly, which I had managed to miss since its debut a week or two ago. Not much time, mind you, because it's on Wednesday at 7 p.m and the only people around to watch anything at 7 p.m. are the infirm, the hospitalized, and jail inmates. I'm none of those, so I had to make do with the last 20 minutes or so.
Yeah, 20 minutes of my life I'll never get back. So it was a good thing I was using that time to do something else constructive while keeping an ear on this program, or I'd just have ended up annoyed that I wasn't out stimulating the local tavern economy instead.
Here's pretty much all you need to know about this show: Central couple Andrew and Lauren are expecting a baby, so it's an hour of situations and discussions revolving around women being pregnant, attitudes toward children, sex (or lack of it), masturbation as an alternative to little or no sex, looking fat in the shower, and - from what I gather from one of the previous week's trailers - men shopping for a breast pump. For chrissakes, every industrialized country has legions of single unmarried men who know how a breast pump works without actually having to try one out. No wonder the French think we're idiots.
It's supposed to be a sitcom, but it's not funny. It doesn't even feel like a sitcom. According To Jim is a sitcom. Notes feels more like what What About Brian would turn into if it decided to be witty.
If there's anything remotely engaging about this show, it might be Rachael Harris as Cooper, a bitter, mommy-hating attorney. Harris is better known from VH1's I Love The [Insert Decade Here] shows, but compared to Notes, she does better work on her Quaker Oats rice cakes commercials.
Of course, you can watch Notes for Harris until it almost certainly disappears due to lack of interest in a few weeks, but the healthier alternative would be to wait until she surfaces in something that's actually funny.
Crabs Kill
If you're looking for network that features a bottomless cornucopia of people unafraid of a little death by misadventure this season, The Discovery Channel seems to have no shortage of nutcups willing to do it because they're goofballs or so Red Lobster doesn't run out of Seafood Fiesta. Turn on Stunt Junkies next week and some dude named Icarus will be flying too close to the sun on a pair of wings held together with wax.
Tuesday night's collection of Discovery Channel brave and foolhardy were the deckhands on the several ships chasing Alaskan red king crab for the third season of Deadliest Catch The show gets its title from the idea that crab fishing is the most dangerous job on the planet (the injury rate is close to 100 percent), so it's always interesting to watch a bunch of guys try to make it through crab season without getting squashed like bugs against a windshield. There are plenty of opportunities given that the crab season on the Bering Sea is only, like, four days long, so the ships end up being run by crews of sleep-deprived zombies. October and January are the best crabbing months, which means the ships end up being run by half-frozen sleep deprived zombies. Representatives of the health and law enforcement communities claim that working four days straight day and night on an hour of sleep is worse than being drunk, so by and large, it's only a quick matter of time before a respectable number of guys end up getting washed overboard or crushed by something really heavy.
Actually, calling it crab fishing - in Babe Winkelman/Louisiana good ol' boy definition of fishing - is a bit misleading, since crabbing involves heaving 800-pound cages (called pots) baited with cut fish off the side of a ship 100 or so feet long. The crabs wander in, get hauled up by huge hydraulic winches when the ships come back to collect the pots, and get dropped into huge holding tanks beneath deck. Calling this "fishing" is like calling sitting in tree platform waiting for a deer to wander by so you can ambush it with a rifle deer "hunting."
Anyway, the surf in the Bering Sea was up as usual with 20-foot swells, the deckhands were exhausted as usual, and some doofus hanging off the side of one of the ships not associated with Deadliest Catch got picked off by a wave and ended up in the drink. Fortunately, the crew of Deadliest Catch ship Time Bandit were a few hundred yards nearby and managed to pluck Doofus Spiderman Deckhand out of the icy drink before he died of hypothermia within minutes.
Oddly enough, the crew of the Time Bandit are the only one of the several Deadliest Catch ships to wear survival suits full-time. This development came after last season's near-disaster when the boat got hammered by a 60-foot wave, ended up on its side, but somehow managed to right itself before everyone froze and drowned. You'd think every ship on the program would have gotten wise after this, but, well, the deckhands would just start getting all complacent about their jobs and everything, so . . .
A captain can make $150,000 during crab season, so it was understandable why Phil Harris, captain of the Cornelia Marie, was visibly upset while his boat was hung up adock in Dutch Harbor for a few days because a huge chunk of his 500-pound propeller broke off at sea. Phil has really high blood pressure, so I was waiting for him to have an aneurysm or something when his $35,000 replacement prop flown 1,400 miles from Kodiak, Alaska, ended up being a left-handed prop instead of a right-handed one. On top of that, his two deckhand sons spent their gratis liberty call living it up in town charging a few grand on his credit card.
Meanwhile, on some of the other Deadliest Catch ships, greenhorn deckhands were busy ignoring the admonitions of "Safety First" in bright yellow paint on various flat surfaces. So they spent a bit of time screwing up the expensive hydraulic equipment and not safely securing pots that ended up nearly squashing the sleepy-eyed nearby.
And really, that's just the sort of nail-biting anticipation you end up looking forward to when tuning in every Tuesday night.
*
Check out the What I Watched Last Night collection.
Posted by Lou at 12:46 AM | Permalink
April 25, 2007
The [Wednesday] Papers
1. "Meanwhile, an Obama staffer, sent to watch us, nimbly Blackberried our movements to someone inside," Carol Marin writes today. "Suddenly, bodyguards pulled the SUV down into a parking garage, grabbed Obama, and with wheels squealing, sped out and away."
Maybe he was just fleeing from cynicism.
2. What's fascinating about Marin's account about her and Sun-Times reporter Tim Novak seeking answers from Obama about dilapidated low-income housing built in his state senate district by his self-described political godfather Tony Rezko is how patient they were - how many opportunities Obama had to explain - and how he still hasn't done so to any degree of adequacy.
Maybe he's campaigning on the hope that the whole thing will just go away.
3. Marin points out that Michelle Obama just got done telling the Tribune how scrupulous the man is about the details of his life. And yet, he seems to have a problem remembering the details of his stock portfolio, the purchase of his own house, the events of his childhood and young adult life, and the existence of government-financed ghetto buildings in his district that were built with help from his law firm and were the target of several city lawsuits.
Maybe he really did learn everything he needed to know about America in Springfield.
4. With a memory like that, he should be running for Attorney General.
5. Obama told reporters that the Sun-Times's story "left a series of false impressions."
If only the paper had called him ahead of time to clear up any confusion.
6. Obama said he did five hours of legal work on the Rezko housing deals in six years. Actually, he probably did five hours of legal work on the Rezko deals in two days, but saying so doesn't deflect the issue quite as cleverly.
7. Watch Obama show Tim Novak what an imperfect vessel he is for a new kind of politics.
8. Lynn Sweet reports that on Tuesday Obama was asked at an appearance about the affordable housing crisis in this country. "I have experience in this area, having worked at the community level," he said.
See, first you have the developer write the checks to your campaign committee . . .
9. He also said the "old models" of public housing don't work, and that community groups and others need to build affordable housing that is "integrated economically, by the way, not just racially."
You know, just like he keeps telling the mayor about his CHA Plan for Transformation.
10. Oops! In 2002, just to pick one example, the Obamas reported income of $259,394, placing them in the top 2 percent of U.S. households, the Tribune reports. That year they gave $1,050 in charity. $1,050!
He donated plenty of hope, though.
11. It wasn't just a one-year fluke. The Tribune report shows that the Obamas have typically given less to charity than the national average - you know, you and I.
But then, they were saving their money for the day they could buy a $1.65 million home with the help of Uncle Tony.
12. "Both Obama and his wife, Michelle, declined to respond to questions about their charitable donations."
Well, maybe they were too busy working their shifts at the soup kitchen.
13. "I've said to Rev. Sharpton and I'll say it today, if there is somebody - I don't care whether they are white or black or they are male or female - if there is somebody who has been more on the forefront on behalf of the issues you care about and has more concrete accomplishments on behalf of the things you're concerned about, I'm happy to see you endorse them. But I am absolutely confident you will not find that," Obama said.
14. Let me reintroduce you to Obama's other political godfather, to whom he once approached as a state legislator and said "You have the power to make a United States senator."
Torture Whitewash
"A four-year, $6.5 million investigation into police torture in the 1970s and '80s was a whitewash that left crooked cops unindicted and soft-pedaled mistakes by top law enforcement officials, including then Cook County State's Atty. Richard M. Daley, a coalition of civil rights groups argued in a report released Tuesday," the Tribune reports today.
And they're right and we all know it.
While the statute of limitations prevents some charges from being filed - nice way to run out the clock! - it is still possible, as I understand the coverage, to prosecute for conspiracy. After all, the torture was systematic - as has been the silence, which some might even dare call a cover-up.
Another compelling argument made by lawyer Locke Bowman, of the MacArthur Justice Center is this: The special prosecutors said in their report issued in July that they found proof beyond a reasonable doubt that Jon Burge and four other former officers tortured suspects. Burge denied under oath in 2003 that he had witnessed or taking part in torture. Why not prosecute Burge for perjury?
A host of organizations have signed on to the civil rights group's report, including Amnesty International and The Innocence Project, as well as Rev. Jesse Jackson, U.S. Rep. Danny Davis, and Barack Obama.
Oh, wait. Obama hasn't had anything to say about police torture. He endorsed Daley for mayor.
I wonder if any of the victims lived in his state senate district? Maybe even in a Rezko building.
The Beachwood Tip Line: 24/7/365.
Posted by Lou at 08:36 AM | Permalink
April 24, 2007
The Beachwood NFL Draft Primer
Whether you are a new fan or simply a fan who forgot to fall off the Bears bandwagon, this quickie primer for Saturday's draft is for you.
Draft Vernacular
NFL-types love their jargon. Last year you learned about the Tampa-Two in all it's Refuse To Blitz And Lose The Super Bowl glory. Now you need to learn new terms to navigate the sea of draftees:
Mock Draft: A series of draft pick predictions made by a football nerd who was mocked heavily for wearing Zubaz to school every day in the11th grade.
Upside: Player who pretty much stinks now, but could eventually play in enough NFL games to land a starting job in Canada.
Great athlete: Player whose number reflects his IQ.
High character guy: Player who is a big fan of the Jesus.
Character issues: Jargon for "low character guy."
High Motor: Player hustles on every play and/or hopped up on cocaine.
FAQ: The ESPN Stalwarts
One channel covers the draft every year: ESPN. How do I know this? ESPN constantly reminds us, as if their two self-important draft experts eradicated polio. Viewing this unexplained feeling of superiority causes questions:
1. I really hate Chris Berman during his spot appearances, but why does he also cover the whole NFL Draft? Chris Berman is like your Uncle Ken - once a funny and important part of your family who is now a punch line who only attends the most important family functions. Unfortunately, the NFL Draft is the football fan's Christmas, and he's hanging around the whole holiday weekend.
2. Who's that skinny guy they show in those old production pieces that looks strangely like Chris Berman? That's Chris Berman when he captured America's imagination with bad puns and classic rock lyrics - and before he turned to food to cope with his waning popularity.
3. Why are you so hard on Chris Berman? In part because I find it hard to believe that the same guy who came up with Andre "Bad Moon" Rison spends hours researching the needs and tendencies of every team and the unique abilities and faults of every player eligible to be drafted, even though he acts that way.
4. Who's the guy with the well-groomed hair and the slight resemblance to Eddie Munster's lost brother? That's Mel Kiper Jr.
5. What does Mel Kiper Jr. do? Kiper is the George W. Bush of the draft show. Like W., Kiper is as supremely confident in his judgements as he is consistently wrong. Yet, both still have their jobs.
*
Eric Emery writes Over/Under and The Blue & Orange Kool-Aid Report. Care to comment? Write to Eric and include a real name to be considered for publication.
Posted by Lou at 05:56 PM | Permalink
The [Tuesday] Papers
Barack Obama and his campaign spurned questions from the Sun-Times for more than a month about dilapidated low-income housing built in his state senate district by political patron Tony Rezko.
At a South Side campaign stop on Monday, Obama finally spoke: "Should I have known that these buildings were in a state of disrepair? My answer would be that it wasn't brought to my attention."
Of course, complaints about slumlords are usually directed at aldermen and/or the city housing department, as Obama noted in separate comments to the Tribune.
Once again, though, Obama is skirting the issue.
First, a true grass-roots progressive wouldn't have been wrapped in the warm embrace of Rezko - an insider's insider - to begin with. Second, he would've taken a greater interest in the district he was elected to represent.
"While I was a state senator, he had buildings in my district that apparently were not managed properly. I had no knowledge of that at the time," Obama told the Sun-Times.
Why not? Rezko's development company had received more than $100 million in loans from the city, the state, and the federal government. A third of the 30 properties were in his district. Obama's law firm did work netting $43 million of those loans for 15 of the buildings. The city repeatedly sued Rezko's firm over problems that included buildings with no heat. And as today's Sun-Times installment shows, an all-star cast of political notables was involved in Rezko's deals. Does Obama really want to claim/admit he was oblivious - even as he was cashing checks from Rezko, whom he has referred to as a "political godfather"?
It strains credulity, though it fits the pattern of Obama as an innocent who's always the last to know about the evil that lurks around him. Such a smart guy, too.
After all, the players in the slumlord caper include familiar names such as Tim Degnan, Robert Kjellander, Sharon Gist Gilliam (now CEO of the CHA), Allison Davis, Leon Finney Jr., Bishop Arthur Brazier, and Harris Bank.
Obama was just, um, out of the loop?
"One of the perils of public life is that you end up being responsible for, or you're held responsible for, associations that you didn't necessarily know were a problem," he told the Tribune.
Obama never realized just who Tony Rezko was?
It reminds of the old story about the scorpion and the frog.
But the more I think about it, I'm not sure which one is Obama.
Daley's Deal
"So why did the city keep lending Rezko's company more tax dollars?" the Sun-Times asks. "'During the time he did work with us - and that was many years ago - there was nothing to indicate there was a problem,' Daley spokeswoman Jacquelyn Heard said.
"In fact, there was. City Hall attorneys repeatedly went to court to force Rezmar to make repairs to its buildings and, in some cases, to get the heat turned on."
In the Trunk
"Moody's Cuts Tribune Rating Deeper Into Junk."
- Crain's Chicago Business
"Moody Tribune Cutting, Back On Junk"
- Tim Willette
Editor's Prerogative
"A number of you have asked me how we could cut jobs to save millions of dollars at a time when a group of unnamed executives will reap bonuses and stock grants worth millions when the change of ownership is complete," says a memo written by Jim O'Shea, the man sent by the corporate bosses to edit the Los Angeles Times after two publishers and two editors resigned rather than succumb to further unconsionable budget cuts. "I cannot - and will not defend any such bonuses. Frankly, I can understand why you are angry about these plans."
A) "On the other hand, my compensation package is quite nice."
B) "And I'll take it up with my bosses next chance I get."
C) "Because we're not in the business of naming names."
Daley Disses
1. The mayor picked his 11th chief of staff in 18 years, proving once again what a great manager he is. The press corps once again humiliated itself.
"Asked by a reporter why he's gone through so many chiefs of staffs, Daley insulted the questioner," Fran Spielman reports.
"This job is a very demanding job," the mayor said. "It's not like your job - very easy . . . We don't see you at night, on weekends or holidays. These people work very hard. That's why I've been fortunate to have great chiefs of staff [who] work very hard, seven days a week, almost 24 hours a day. That's what government's all about. It's not leisure jobs like you have."
Perfectly appropriate responses apparently not offered:
A) You don't think it's hard keeping track of all your scandals?
B) Let me tell you something, Mr. Mayor, it's not easy sitting here being lied to every day.
C) Fuck you.
2. "Daley was asked if he believes his refusal to grant [Inspector General David] Hoffman's request [for more investigators] could endanger the court settlement, but he walked away without answering."
A) Barack Obama commended the mayor for the smallness of his politics.
B) The mayor didn't hear the question because he was laughing so hard about calling reporters' jobs easy.
C) Now that the election is over, and the media has done his bidding for the Olympics, he will go back to not answering questions instead of lying.
3. A few journalists ask me, well, what are we supposed to do? Here are a few ideas.
- Don't glorify the mayor as a "demanding" boss when in fact he's clearly managerially dysfunctional.
- Spend a day with an eight-year-old and compare it to a day with the mayor.
- Front page box every day: "1,428 days since the mayor said he doesn't know who hired Angelo Torres."
- Front page profile: "Daley Is A Mean, Lying Prick."
I mean, I could go on and on. Show some friggin' backbone. File Freedom of Information requests on everything in sight and litigate to get them filled. Assign a truth squad to vet every claim the mayor makes. Honestly describe the mayor's behavior at press conferences, and put those accounts on front page. Stop attending his press conferences; they're designed for him anyway, not you. And frankly, you don't need them to report the news. Like I said, I could go on and on. In short, be a newspaper.
Obama 's Foreign Policy
"Answering his critics who have suggested his policies remain vague, Obama outlined five basic principles for his own global strategy, should he be elected president in 2008," Jennifer Hunter "