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« October 2006 | Main | December 2006 »
November 30, 2006
What I Watched Last Night
I watched a little of that Real World last night and really found it annoying, so I got on my computer and did some holiday shopping. So I didn't really watch any television worth writing about last night. The only thing I can think about to comment on is the incessant sobbing on the Real World.
These two ladies who made out with this one guy in the house are now best friends and will never hurt each other again. Apparently "again" means till next week's episode.
Pat Bataillon is the Beachwood's resident TV watcher. Catch up on everything he's been watching in the What I Watched Last Night archive.
Posted by Lou at 12:05 PM | Permalink
The [Thursday] Papers
Wow, it was a big day for The Combine. Former Gov. George Ryan won his bid to stay out of jail while his racketeering conviction is on appeal, but lost his pension. Bobbie Steele got her pension but unfortunately won't be going to jail for the political fraud she has perpetrated on Cook County voters and taxpayers. Rod Blagojevich, who remains in office and out of jail pending indictment, conviction, and appeal, has once again broken his word, this time to Steele and John Daley. Daley's brother, Richard, who also remains in office and out of jail pending indictment, conviction, and appeal, is piggybacking on the whitewash of his involvement in police torture as Cook County State's Attorney by declaring he sees no evil in the police department despite a report of "continued indifference" to corruption in the department.
Bill Beavers said it all: "This is good Democratic politics."
Cardinal George
"There is a God," George Ryan declared, upon hearing that he will be allowed to stay out of jail while his appeal is pending.
Apparently He was just on vacation last year when a jury convicted him and a federal judge sentenced him to six-and-a-half years in the pen.
God is like that.
"'We're very, very happy,' Lura Lynn Ryan said, declaring her husband's innocence. Ryan, who was in the house, did not speak to reporters."
George was actually inside delivering an "exclusive" to Sneed: He was making bean soup when he got the news. That made the Sun-Times's front page.
Soup to Nuts
Message: The racketeer is just like us!
Richie and the Beave
In Mickey Ciokajlo's account in the Tribune, he calls the manuevers between City Hall and Cook County a "triple patronage play that would stand out even by Chicago standards."
Steele Breeze
"Among her accomplishments as presidents, Steele cited lifting of the burn moratorium at the forest preserve district and an order to end politics in hiring in the county."
Then she announced plans to install her son Robert on the Cook County board.
Steele Trap
"She dodged questions about whether pushing her son, Robert Steele, as her replacement was nepotism, or whether she was disingenuous in waiting until after the election to announce she would retire on her president's salary, which allows her to draw a double pension instead of returning to her board seat," the Sun-Times reports.
"'I am finished answering questions,' she said abruptly, after entertaining just a few queries, and left the dais.'"
She learned that from the mayor.
Bobbie Steal
"For Steele, jumping through a loophole pays great dividends," the Tribune editorial page noted. "She took office four months ago with only one big responsibility other than warming a chair for her successor: She need to propose a Cook County budget for the fiscal year that begins Friday.
"Steele never did get around to drafting a budget. So many inauguration parties, so little time."
State of Denial
"Also on Wednesday, Daley scoffed at a report by Lou Reiter, a former senior Los Angeles police official who concluded that Chicago police officials have continued 'a practice of indifference' toward corruption that makes renegade officers here 'feel protected.'"
There is indifference everywhere, Daley said. Even in your industry.
Hall Monitors
What's your favorite part of the Tamron Hall boob job story? I can't decide whether it's her insistence that she's a "news journalist" who is "in the grind' breaking stories every day or it's the lame but mildly amusing jokes in Robert Feder's column today.
I do know, though, that the coup de grace was turning to Stella Foster today (hey, I do it so you don't have to) and finding out that Hall will appear in an episode of Fashion House tonight. Perfect.
Same As It Ever Was
"The governor made a commitment," a steamed John Daley said on Wednesday about a financial deal the county made with the state. "It's apparent that he has once again not lived up to his word. Maybe we have to do what some members of the General Assembly do and get a letter of commitment when we deal with this governor."
Obameter
Oh Lord.
Rush Hour
Of course Bobby Rush (D-AT&T) is two-faced weasel. We already knew that. The pertinent question is: What did he get - street paving, a contract for a pal, an appointment to public office for a relative?
Irresistible URL
CelebrityButtPlugs.com.
For entertainment purposes only.
Er, that's not what I meant.
Rock Dock
"Let's impose a moratorium on rock critics. Now. A few months ago, I came across this line by critic David Dunlap, Jr.: '[The band] Windsor for the Derby has plenty of experience jumping subgenres . . . everything from slo-core to krautrock to electronica to its current flavor of Mancunian-tinged postrock."
"Call me square, dismiss me as an oldster, but I think when you're referring to Mancunian-tinged postrock, it's time to hang it up."
Bullseye
Good God. (Inspired by a photo in today's Quick Hits)
In the Reporter
We're chock full of good stuff. If you don't believe me, take a look around and see for yourself.
An Inconvenient Truth
"A few scribes remain weepy apologists for City Hall patronage, while standing tough on Cook County patronage, as if Daley didn't run it all."
The Beachwood Tip Line: Where slings meet arrows.
Posted by Lou at 07:50 AM | Permalink
November 29, 2006
The Blue & Orange Kool-Aid Report
The Kool-Aid Nation is in a state of obsession over what to do about Rex Grossman. There are two schools of thought.
1. The Bears are 9-2. Even if Grossman played the next five games with his pants around his ankles, the Bears still get home field advantage. He just might not be called Sexy Rexy anymore. This is also known as The Orton Plan of Just Managing The Game.
2. Brian Griese sure looks sexy - but in a non-threatening way. This is also known as The Orton Plan of Just Managing The Game. Where is Trent Dilfer when you need him?
Remote Viewing
The Tribune discovered this week that a lot of Bears fans go to electronics stores to watch the games. This is hardly news - married men have been using this technique for decades. What's next, a trend story about men going to Home Depot to escape mundane duties at . . . home?
Electronics stores aren't the only places to go to watch the game when you have to get out of the house or pretend you are shopping or running errands. Here are a few more.
Hospitals: Check yourself into a single room with a TV and order in a pizza. Instant access to medical care hen you develop a bleeding ulcer after Rex Grossman's third interception.
Health Clubs (high impact): Run on treadmill and pretend you are Mark Bradley running down the sidelines. Hamstring pull included. Get injury sympathy from the hotties at the juice bar.
Health Club (low impact): While watching the game on the club's big-screen, move 90 degrees every five minutes to scout out hotties at the juice bar. Good for the obliques.
Soldier Field parking lot: TV tailgating. At halftime, scour the parking lot for half-eaten brats. Wash down with 12 half filled cans of Old Style. Watch out for those cigarette butts!
Friendly Neighborhood Deli: Cut out the middleman. Instead of suffering through bad bar food while watching the game, go directly to the source and suffer through unsanitary deli food.
Millennium Park: Justify needless city expense by using metal statue thingy to supplement TV antenna.
Wrigley Field: Sneak into the clubhouse and settle into the same recliner that put Mike Remlinger on the DL. A great way to enjoy the Cubs and Bears together, with nobody getting hurt but you and whatever Cub you bump into.
Minnesota at Chicago
Intriguing game. Do we shackle Grossman and run into Minnesota's strength, or do we throw the ball down the field? The heart says the former, but the numbers say the later. Then again, does it really matter? Either the Bears win 16-10 or 24-17. The Vikings keep it close enough. It's a win for the Bears, but one that grants no confidence.
Pick: Minnesota plus 10/Over 36.5
For Bears win:
Sugar in the Blue and Orange Kool-Aid: 95%
Recommended sugar in the Blue and Orange Kool-Aid: 85%
Sugar in the Super Bowl pitcher: 80%
Recommended sugar in the Super Bowl pitcher: 35 %
*
For more Emery, see the Kool-Aid archive, and the Over/Under archive. He can be contacted at Eric_Emery12345@yahoo.com. Or berate him publicly.
Posted by Lou at 11:29 PM | Permalink
Over/Under
Having grown up in the lightly-populated, small Northwestern Illinois town of Savanna, holder of the state high school football record for consecutive losses, I learned how to make my own fun. So when I went back home to my see my folks for Thanksgiving, I was ready for some creative time-killing. This time around, for example, me and my father decided to visit a bunch of auto dealerships and check out the stock. It was actually quite entertaining.
Fans of teams that stink who can no longer bear watching their heroes could do well to employ this kind of strategy with the extra time you now have on your hands on Sundays. Here are some suggestions.
Redskins fans: Form your own study group to solve your team's problems now that hope is lost.
Packers fans: Form a "Ship, Captain, Crew" league. The winner gets his name on state liver transplant list.
Lions fans: Form an investment club to search for other poorly run companies that might sponsor the stadium in which the the most poorly fun franchise in the league not named Arizona plays in.
Buccaneers fans: Attach a photocopy of Jon Gruden's face to your family dog. Avoid walking the dog in public so strangers don't kick it.
Cardinals fans: Apply to be Lions fans.
Steelers fans: Fly to Pittsburgh, use game tickets you purchased after Week One for $130 over face value, drink a couple sixers of Iron City, and yell at your team for looking like boiled shit after winning the Super Bowl last year. To my credit, I'm following my own advice.
Browns fans: Create the Drew Carey Hall of Fame. Watch it get funding and draw more people than both the Browns games and the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
Titans fans: Write snooty art review on the Titan's "T" logo and send it in to the local paper. Postulate that the blue signifies the clear skies that reflect the optimism of Titans fans. Theorize that the red signifies the blood the Titans are willing to spill in pursuit of victory. Muse that the flaming "T" stands for the Turd your team lays every week.
Texans fans: Phone other Texans fan and recount the single important game the team has won in franchise history, and how good it made you feel. Marvel at how many minutes you have left on your calling plan.
Raiders fans: This one requires you to actually keep watching your team, but the fun it provides will be well worth it: Art Shell Bingo. Make a list of the 75 most frequent poor coaching decisions. Randomly place 24 numbers on various 5x5 grids. Fill in your card as the game goes on. Feel free to ad lib and ad squares for new offensive coordinator John Shoop too.
Last Week: 4-2
Season: 29-39-2
Last Five Weeks: 20-10
Comment: Study Group?! Study Group?! I don't need your stinkin' study group.
Over-hyped: Dallas at New York Giants
Storyline: Dallas looks to continue momentum against the reeling Giants. The Giants need a win to stop the bleeding and stay in the playoff hunt.
What they forget to tell you: When you combine names with words, the hype meter reaches critical mass. With Romomentum, we're there. Plus, Romo's alleged romance with Jessica Simpson has some folks muttering his name in the same breath as that of Joe Namath (Broadway Romo?). Sure enough, rumor has it Romo will appear soon on an episode of "7th Heaven" to visit someone pretending to be a sick kid. With Bill Parcells as the buzz-kill neighbor.
Still: The Giants showed they rally when times are tough. This week, the times are too tough. After this game, Bears fan will cry about the national media cheating on them with the Cowboys.
Pick: Dallas minus 3.5 points/Over 45
Under-hyped: Seattle at Denver (Sunday night)
Storyline: Rookie Jay Cutler gets his first NFL start for the Broncos. Seattle continues to get healthy and is eager to show they are still among the best in the NFC.
What they forget to tell you: You see those silver bands around Cutler's wrists? Those are handcuffs. The Broncos have three decent running backs. You won't see a lot of Cutler's arm.
Still: Seattle needs one more week to get really good. Seattle has the weapons on offense to make a run, but unfortunately, they're still watching most of the game from the sidelines.
Pick: Denver minus 3.5 points/Under 39
*
For more Emery, see the Kool-Aid archive, and the Over/Under archive. He can be contacted at Eric_Emery12345@yahoo.com. Or berate him publicly.
Posted by Lou at 10:17 PM | Permalink
What I Watched Last Night
My Boys is an awful show. It is the new show on TBS that has been advertised to everyone in Chicago over every medium for the last few weeks. There is so much wrong in this show I don't even know where to start.
The dialogue was as predictable as an epsiod of Friends, the city views may as well have been from Vacation, and the acting purely bush league.
So here is the premise: PJ Franklin is one of the guys and she is having trouble balancing being a lady and still hanging with her boys. This character conflict is made apparent seven to ten times throughout the course of the 22-minute show. So for those of you with a short attention span, listen: She is having trouble being a lady and still hanging out with her boys. She is a sportswriter and a huge baseball fan. She collects baseball cards and follows the Cubs. She does not wear make-up and she drinks beer and eats chicken wings. She is way into old school Asteroids and poker; basically, she is real down-to-earth.
Then there are her friends - this will be brief because they're pretty forgettable. Her brother is in a faux miserable marriage and is controlled by his wife - that has never been done before except for Al Bundy and Norm Peterson and the dad from Everybody Loves Raymond. Then there is the pathetic guy who is walked all over by women and is really sensitive so, insert your choice of romantic comedy star here. Then there are the buddies who have limited lines but are already pegged as undeveloped characters in this soon-to-be short-lived series.
Back to the show and how awful it was last night. I caught myself saying out loud to myself "Are you
kidding me?!" at least four times. Like when the PJ - nicknamed Peeje - began to write and her thought-narration kicked in, a la Sex in the City. Several female friends tell me Sex in the City wasn't total crap, but I beg to differ. That show had a terrible influence on plenty of things that I don't have time to get into right now. But anyway, PJ starts thinking/talking about how referees in sports keep things fair - but there are no referees in the real world. Boo-hoo. That's life. Any writer knows this one thing: if there were rules that were unbreakable in life, there would be no writers to break them. This is why this woman is an idiot.
Finally, the constant references to Chicago were ridiculous, and usually just plain wrong. Explaining how good the hamburgers are at the Billy Goat? Please. And a sportswriter who buys his pants at the Lord & Taylor at Water Tower Place? I'm pretty sure that's never happened in Chicago newspaper history. If there are some brilliant people that want to make a show about Chicago, just cast Chicago actors and writers and be done with it; don't just show panoramic views of John Hancock and Wrigley Field that you found on the cutting room floor of The Blues Brothers.
At least they didn't go to a blues club last night. The writers are probably saving that for the next episode. They'll probably take the Blue Line to get there, and along the way, Peeje will fret about how hard it is to balance being a woman and being one of the guys. For the billionth time.
Posted by Lou at 10:37 AM | Permalink
The [Wednesday] Papers
With the mayor continuing to stand behind a man convicted of orchestrating a massively fradulent City Hall hiring operation, will the outrage directed at Todd Stroger now be directed at Richard M. Daley? Will the editorial boards and civic titans and smug North Siders decide that being governed by a criminal enterprise is too high a price to pay for pretty flowers and Olympic bids?
Because Richard M. Daley deserves the ire far more than Todd Stroger. Todd Stroger doesn't know any better; Richard M. Daley does. Todd Stroger is a pawn in other men's games. Richard M. Daley runs the game.
When Daley calls Robert Sorich a man of fine character - a man convicted on a mountain of evidence of criminal wrongdoing (on the mayor's behalf) - well, it gives away the lie of all those impassioned promises of ethics reform Daley issues whenever things get too hot around him.
And everyone who supports this mayor is complicit. You can't separate his achievements from the basic fact of his administration: Corrupt to the core. With a capital 'C.'
You can't bitch and moan about Todd Stroger without being outraged at Daley's hand behind the curtain. You can't scream bloody murder about Bobbie Steele's shenanigans without understanding that Daley gives the blessing. It's a sick, sick culture, oozing from here to Springfield. With Saint Obama uninterested and gallavanting around Iowa and New Hampshire, Daley is the one man who could stop it. That would make him a truly great mayor. What a legacy that could be. Instead, he condones what amounts to treason - the coup d'etat of Sorich & Co.; Stroger, Steele and Beavers; Reyes and HDO.
And while we're directing anger this morning, why has there been such silence at the way Jesse Jackson Jr. and Luis Gutierrez froze the field of potential Daley opponents until it was too late for anyone else to put together a campaign? While the extent of the nationwide Democratic victory - meaning the U.S. Senate and what happend in statehouses nationwide - hadn't been anticipated, there had been little doubt for a long time that the Dems would win the House. And yet, both Jackson and Gutierrez used their new majority power as an excuse to pull the plug on their mayoral candidacies. Thanks, guys.
The only one talking sense these days is Forrest Claypool.
Is it too late?
Run, Forrest. Run.
Five Style
Channel 5's Allison Rosati beamed while delivering the news yesterday that the mayor will "likely" run for re-election. The station then cut to Daley honoring CHA residents: "We will never give up on anyone who doesn't give up on themselves," he said - on the same day he defended a man who gamed the city's hiring system, preventing honest citizens from helping themselves.
Mary Ann Ahern then stuck a microphone in the face of Daley sycophant Desiree Rogers, who proclaimed that "I don't believe this election is a racial election," despite the fact that the mayor does.
Regarding Sorich, Ahern said of the mayor: "He clearly did not want to dwell on that scandal."
Back to you, Allison!
Of course, the station failed to mention, much less show, Daley cutting off questions at a press conference when the subject turned to Sorich and ending his "media availability" for the day.
What Would Jesus Ask?
Mr. Mayor, do you think the jury erred in finding Sorich guilty? Why?
Mr. Mayor, did you not find the evidence compelling? Would you have prosecuted this case when you were Cook County State's Attorney?
Mr. Mayor, do you feel bad that Robert Sorich is going to prison for activities he undertook on your behalf?
Mr. Mayor, do you think the judge was wrong to describe City Hall hiring under Sorich as "corruption with a capital 'C'"?
Mr. Mayor, do you think Patrick Fitzgerald was wrong to bring this case?
Mr. Mayor, do you tolerate corruption in your administration? No? Then why is there so much of it?
Tunnel Vision
Fran Spielman's account credits the mayor with being consistent in his defense of Sorich - ignoring how inconsistent that stand is with his numerous pledges to clean up his administration.
Daley Dose
"Do you think when someone makes one mistake that you would kick 'em all the way down the street?"
No. You kick 'em to prison.
Daley Dosed
Mr. Mayor, do you think Sorich really made just one mistake, then, and not the massive fraud jurors found him guilty of?
Quigmire
"To a large extent, how do you blame President Steele for doing this?" Mike Quigley asked.
Would you teach your children to do this, Mike? Or would you teach them that doing the right thing is more important than ill-gotten gains?
Bobbie Steele could do the right thing. She's making a choice.
Steele Foundation
Maybe she should take the money - and donate it to the county.
Miguel del Sellout
The truth is that Miguel del Valle wanted a desk job. The tragedy is that he could've just gone into the private sector to get one instead of making an ass of himself.
Like Father
"Reagan's Son Elected to Eureka College Board."
A) The bombing of Southern Illinois begins in five minutes.
B) Tear down that mall!
C) No more scholarships to welfare queens.
Sneedling
When the Sun-Times advertises "Another" Sneed exclusive on its front page, it means in addition to what, the one she reported in the 70s?
I guess her exlusives are so rare they are front page news.
Plane Truth
"Once on the plane, the imams reportedly took seats to which they were not assigned, pairing off to sit near the exits," Kathleen Parker wrote on the Tribune's Op-Ed page today. "The two seated in first class requested seat-belt extensions, which they placed on the cabin floor. One needn't be Islamophobic to go, 'Hmmmmmm.'"
One needn't be a journalist to go "Hmmmmmm."
If Parker is getting her information from reports like this one, she ought to be more diligent in her research. If you read this report from the ground, you'll see how the right-wing message machine has cherry-picked this one. If the imams were terrorists, the last thing they would do would be to draw attention to themselves by shouting about Allah as they boarded the plane. That's a plane I want to fly, because the real terrorists will be wearing American flag lapels and carrying a Bible the next time.
It's also sadly amusing that US Airways removed the imams from the flight, but offered a customer service number so they could fly on another airline.
Patriot Act
Cathy Messino of North Center has apparently been reading right-wing blogs (fifth letter). "The more I read about the events that transpired, the more I intend to make US Airways my airline of choice, going forward," she writes.
Me? I'll be wary of flying US Airways going forward. Not because they have offended me, but because their security savvy seems awfully lacking.
Number Bummer
"Since the CHA launched its $1.6 billion Plan for Transformation in 1999, more than 8,000 CHA residents have been placed in jobs, with a 50 percent three-month retention rate," the Sun-Times "reports." "The employment rate among CHA residents also has increased from 25 to 39 percent. Annual incomes has incrased by 50 percent - to $15,000."
So . . . after three months half (4,000!) of CHA residents placed in jobs had already washed out?
The bigger problem is one that, again, is taught in the first year of any halfway decent journalism school: Statistics mean nothing when presented in a vacuum. They have to be compared to something. We have no idea whether these numbers are good or bad, nor where they came from. Did annual incomes increase by 50 percent, for example, because the lowest earners were kicked out of CHA altogether?
I guess the press release doesn't say, and so neither does the reporter.
Shoe In
Ad in the Sun-Times:
"You're Invited to A Shoe Party At Your House.
"How can you get the hottest new footwear to come to your own home?
"HEELS on WHEELS
"A Special Report with Kim Vatis.
"Tonight at 10 p.m. 5 NEWS. NBC.com"
So Michael Cooke is editing the Channel 5 news now, too?
Chicago Character
"Sorich told a courtroom packed with family, friends and neighbors that he 'tried to do my best and . . . tried to be fair.'"
As long as you were on the list.
Job Fair
"He meant these 'fine young men' are going to prison because they served him, personally," John Kass writes. "They built massive illegal patronage armies in violation of federal court orders and rigged thousands of job tests to beneift those with clout, so the mayor could use these patronage armies to control Cook County."
Blue Line
"There's a big police scandal, and you'll get these big pronouncements,'internal investigation,' 'no stone unturned,' and 'we're going to do all these great things.' And then the dust settles, and it ends up being business as usual."
Sounds like a familiar formula.
The Beachwood Tip Line: Leaving the station.
Posted by Lou at 09:00 AM | Permalink
Up Against the Wall, Indie Record Label!
Once upon a time, Jerry Jeff Walker ushered in the spirit of a musical movement with the cry, "Up against the wall, redneck mother!" And all the cool kids in the South, indeed the whole country, responded to this satire of hippie-bashers by getting rip-roaring drunk, lighting one up, and buying the album Viva Terlingua! by the hundreds of thousands, securing Jerry Jeff's place in the world of cosmic country music.
Nowadays, though, it seems Walker is the one doing the bashing.
Apparently upset that a tiny Texas record label, Palo Duro Records, did a tribute album to the Luckenbach, Texas, music scene without sufficiently cutting him in, the ol' gypsy songwriter has slapped the upstarts with a lawsuit demanding that Palo Duro quit distributing its album Viva! Terlingua! Nuevo! Songs of Luckenbach Texas, which was released in October.
Palo Duro's Chris Thomas says the company has voluntarily done so for the time being, but insists he's done nothing wrong and will fight like a redneck mofo to get it back on the shelves. He says that Walker was properly notified but refused to take part in the new live recording, even though several members of the original Lost Gonzo Band, which backed him on the classic live 1973 recording, showed up for the tribute (one report says Walker was never invited).
The details are lost in a "he said, she said" kind of haze. Thomas says Palo Duro complied with legal requirements of copyright statutes. When Walker refused to grant permission to use his original compositions for the record (unlike fellow legends Guy Clark and Ray Wylie Hubbard), Palo Duro resorted to a "compulsory license" provision of the law, which allows for previously released songs to be covered on a new record without express permission . . . if the new producer sends out a "timely notice" to the original artist and includes a writing credit.
Jerry Jeff says he never got a notice. Palo Duro says he did. Now the federal courts will decide, another chapter in the long and boring book called "It Used To Be About the Music."
On one level, Walker might have a point. Even though his name is not exploited and is nowhere to be found on the album except in the songwriters' credits, "Viva! Terlingua! Nuevo!" is very similar to the title of the 1973 album. So is the premise of covering his famous "cosmic country" songs live in Luckenbach. Walker says he was "dumbfounded" by the similarities between the new album and his original.
But on the other hand, I think anyone who listens to the album can tell it's not just about Viva Terlingua, but, as the album's full title suggests, also more generally about the tiny town's musical influence. For instance, it includes the reading of a poem written by Hondo Crouch, the iconoclastic Texan who basically recreated the town around his dance hall and general store in the 1970s.
What I don't get is why Jerry Jeff held out on letting these guys cover his songs in the first place. It was a chance for new Texas bands like the McKay Brothers, Morrison-Williams and Two Tons of Steel to follow in his footsteps and advance the alternative country cause, which is still small and fragile enough to be shaken by a nasty lawsuit like this from one of its founders. Looking at and listening to the album, it doesn't seem to me like Palo Duro is trying to pass it off as Walker himself, or steal his revenue stream. This is a heartfelt salute to a time, an era, and a place that greatly influenced all of alternative country music.
The lawsuit also smells a bit of hypocrisy. Walker himself has made a lucrative living out of being a cover artist, and in fact is known as a masterful interpreter of others' work. Even on Viva Terlingua, his own meal ticket, he had a bunch of cover songs, including Michael Martin Murphey's "Backslider's Wine" and Guy Clark's "Desperadoes Waiting For a Train." So why wouldn't he just let this tiny label sell covers of his songs, and get nine cents a sale in royalties to boot? Does he really think anybody who's searching for the classic original will be confused and instead buy this album, which doesn't even have his name on it except in the small print? Can he not tell the difference between an homage and a rip-off? It's painfully evident that every artist on this record worships him and all things Luckenbach - Waylon, Willie and the boys. It just doesn't seem to me like they're trying to cash in or commit fraud, as Walker alleges in his suit.
Maybe it goes all the way back to Jerry Jeff's song, "Mr. Bojangles," which didn't sell much for him as a singer but went gold for the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band a few years later - the ultimate case of a Jerry Jeff cover doing way better than the original. Whatever the reason, his resort to the legal system to stifle some upstart indies who seem to want nothing more than to celebrate his legacy is puzzling. It sounds like something only a real redneck mother would do.
Posted by Don at 12:08 AM | Permalink
November 28, 2006
Booklist: A Beachwood Gift Guide
A gift guide of (almost-all) 2006 releases as determined by the Beachwood Book Laboratory, in various categories to fit your needs.
History
Conspiracy in the Streets: The Extraordinary Trial of the Chicago Eight
Editor, Jon Weiner, Afterword by Tom Hayden, Ill. by Jules Feiffer
New Press
$16.95
If you're not familiar with the Chicago Seven/Eight - one defendant, Black Panther Bobby Seale, had charges dropped when he was indicted on other charges, though not before the judge had him bound to his seat and gagged because he insisted on continuing to ask for his own lawyer or the right to represent himself - you should be. The United States of America put on trial a veritable Who's Who of Sixties activists, including those from the Yippie movement (Abbie Hoffman and Jerry Rubin) and the politically radical group the MOBE (Dave Dellinger, Rennie Davis, and Tom Hayden), and two young Ph. D students (John Froines and Lee Weiner), on charges of planning and inciting to riot at the 1968 Democratic Convention. The defendants lampooned the judge, the judge made a mockery of the justice system, and the entire spectacle was like a circus sideshow. This book, which mainly contains highlights from the 20,000-page trial testimony, is at once sobering and absurd, and you can't help but compare the antics and action of the defendants to the tame activists of today, who have more than enough reason to be outraged.
Hip Novel
Wolf Boy
Evan Kuhlman
Shaye Arehart Books
$23.00
Kuhlman's debut novel is beautifully transcendant. A comi-tragedy played out both within a family that's falling apart and a friendship that's cementing itself into a creative duo ready to take on everything from the emergence of adolescence to death itself, Kuhlman's novel includes perfectly scripted and cleanly drawn comics to help the story open its wings and fly. Points to Kuhlman for (a) setting it in Downstate Illinois with all the depressing expertise that entails and (b) setting it in 1993, and actually getting his pop culture right.
Nonfiction Hot Topic
Crazy: A Father's Search Through America's Mental Health Madness
Pete Earley
Putnam Adult
$25.95
Veteran journalist Earley is thrown into the fray of one of America's hot-button topics when his own extremely delusional son, Mike, breaks into a house because he wants to take a bubble bath, thus damaging the premises and terrifying the owner. Treated as a criminal rather than the severe manic-depressive that he is, Mike gets no help from authorities - only probation. His father decides to delve deeper into the issue of America's mental health crisis, where those with mental health issues are far more likely to end up in prison than in treatment, and the result is a poignant mix of outrage for the broken system and love for his son.
Fiction, American Icon
The Road
Cormac McCarthy
Knopf
$24.00
Cormac McCarthy is probably the greatest American novelist of our time, yet he's often overlooked by Gen X'ers who don't think they can find meaning in a Western, or in Appalachia. His unusual, staccato style of writing can, at first, be confusing, but soon becomes engrossing and, like last year's brilliant No Country for Old Men, The Road only shows the breadth of his talent. Set in post-apocalyptic America, where cannibals roam and darkness clings, a man and his son set out down a road to the sea, carrying blankets and a few supplies. The unnamed characters encounter other survivors, and the boy comes to realize that his father's assurances that he and the boy are "good guys" doesn't hold, for his father cares only for his son, and his son can only rely on his father.
Fiction, Best Sequel To A Book You Probably Haven't Read But Should
Bangkok Tattoo
John Burdett
Knopf
$24.00
Burdett's debut novel, Bangkok Eight, hurled you into the steamy underbelly of Bangkok, as the only non-corrupt cop in town, Sonchai Jittlecheep, pursued the murderer of both a U.S. Marine with bizarrely exotic tastes and of his own partner, Pichai, killed in the line of duty at the Marine's murder scene. Bangkok Tattoo takes you even deeper into a world you think you know something about but never will unless you are reborn Thai. From a shocker of a beginning (a call girl in his mother and police boss's bar comes in, admits to cutting off a customer's penis, then shoots up with morphine) to delicate negotiations with the Muslim factions in Southern Thailand to a devil of a bad guy who "collects" tattoos, this story draws you in and makes you aware that Thailand through Sonchai's eyes is Thailand worth looking at.
Young Adult
The Book Thief
Markus Zusak
Knopf Books for Young Readers
$16.95
Narrated by Death himself, The Book Thief tells the story of Liesel Meminger, who is sent to live with a foster family during the Second World War. Meminger captures Death's eye at the burial of her younger brother; the nine-year-old becomes a sort of muse to him. Liesel, whose father has been taken away for being a Communist and whose mother disappears soon after, steals her first book at her brother's funeral - The Grave Digger's Manual. She does not know how to read, but her foster father teaches her using this not entirely appropriate book. Stolen books and Death's dry sense of humor and way with words propel this book to the top of the list for the teenager on your list (particularly fantastic is the Jewish boxer who steals a copy of Mein Kampf, then whitewashes the pages to write a new book for Liesel.)
Nonfiction, Religion, or Lack Thereof
The GOD Delusion
Richard Dawkins
Houghton Mifflin
$27.00
Dawkins is a biologist at Oxford. An avowed atheist, he harshly criticizes religion for its intolerance - in about as intolerant manner as possible. But it is this that lends credibility to his arguments, for his intolerance is couched in reason and rationale and credible science (he takes Intelligent Design to task with Darwinism). Although he is best stomached in chapters when he is less vitriolic, his criticisms of Evangelical Christianity and Fundamentalist Islamic movements certainly have merit. Dawkins puts theology to the same tests that he would science . . . and science comes out on top every time.
Stocking Stuffer
Stuff On My Cat: The Book
Mario Garza
Chronicle Books
$9.95
Really, you can't express it any better than the cover caption: "Stuff + Cat = Awesome." In this very stupid but ridiculously funny little book, Garza and other cat owners took pictures of their cats sporting everything from whipped cream with a cherry on top to elaborate scenes with action figures.
Comics
Sandman Volume I
Neil Gaiman, et. Al.
Vertigo
$99.99
Anyone who grew up in the comics era that I did worshipped and adored the Sandman and Gaiman himself. Now, Vertigo has taken the first 20 issues, redone the coloring (approved by Gaiman but a bit questionable to a hardcore fan), added tons of "never-before-seen-material," included the complete original proposal, and bound it in gorgeous binding that has an equally gorgeous slipcover. Wait, I've got to clean the drool off the keyboard . . .
*
Also see ML Van Valkenburgh's Five Best Books Ever (For Now).
Posted by Lou at 07:37 PM | Permalink
The [Tuesday] Papers
Item: "Prime Minister Tony Blair condemned the African slave trade and expressed deep sorrow for Britain's role - but stopped short Monday of offering an apology or compensation for the descendants of those victimized by it."
Item: "The homicide rate on the Ute Mountain Ute Indian reservation has soared to nearly 50 times the national average, prompting Colorado's new U.S. attorney to label it the state's 'murder capital.'"
Item: "Last week on Dan Patrick's radio show, ESPN analyst Michael Irvin jokingly suggested the success of Dallas quarterback Tony Romo could be due to an African-American heritage. '[There might be] some brother in that line somewhere,' Irvin said of the white quarterback. 'If a great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandma pulled one of them studs out of the barn . . . '"
Item: "Prime Minister Ehud Olmert reached out to the Palestinians on Monday in one of his most conciliatory speeches yet, saying he was prepared to grant them a state, release desperately needed funds and free prisoners if they choose the path of peace. But the Palestinian Cabinet, led by Hamas militants who reject Israel's right to exist, accused Olmert of posturing.
''This is a conspiracy. This is a new maneuver," a spokesman said.
Item: 50 shots.
Item: "Consider the media. There were no African-American regulars on Seinfeld, even though it was set in New York City. TV is no longer a completely white ghetto. Oprah Winfrey remains a remarkable phenomenon. But look at the talk show hosts from the news hour to midnight: There is not an African American or Latino among them. Tavis Smiley is the sole notable exception - and he's on the educational channel, PBS."
Item: "John Cruickshank, Publisher. Michael Cooke, Editor in Chief. John Barron, Executive Editor. Steve Huntley, Editorial Page Editor. Don Hayner, Managing Editor." The all-white, all-male Sun-Times management team.
Item: "In recent months, Daley has made a series of moves aimed at courting black and Hispanic voters," the Sun-Times reports. "They include vetoing the big box-minimum wage ordinance and framing the debate in racial terms; proposing an Olympic stadium in Washington; overhauling the police department's Office of Professional Standards; and appointing state Sen. Miguel del Valle (D-Chicago) as city clerk and Stefanie Neely, an African-American, as city treasurer."
Item: Black voting patterns.
Item: "Protesting the removal of six imams from a US Airways flight last week, a group of Christian, Jewish and Muslim religious leaders staged a 'pray-in' Monday near the airline's ticket counter at Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport."
*
Heard while writing this column.
*
Is it a civil war? Yes.
Iraq Extends State of Emergency.
*
Not every soldier is a hero fighting for freedom (second and third letters). A lot of them join the military for purely socioeconomic reasons, with little interest in the noble principles newspaper editors like to affix to them from behind their desks.
*
Were you better off than you were four years before? No.
*
But according to a campaign mailer I received, Richard M. Daley says Todd Stroger has been working hard on your behalf when it comes to property taxes. So I'm not sure what to think. Except that my rent will probably go up.
*
Bobbie Steele could do the right thing if she wanted to. It's our money she's filching, by the way.
*
Wait, the Blackhawks have been playing long enough to fire their coach? When does the Bulls season start?
*
Is Denny Hastert planning to retire to Wisconsin?
*
"Instead of having elections, we have appointments. The machine has never been stronger."
- Forrest Claypool, on Fox News Perspective last Sunday.
*
Murray Chass of The New York Times wrote recently in a story I linked to that Alfonso Soriano led the National League in errors among outfielders last season. He was wrong - it was Adam Dunn.
Find that factoid and more in Don Jacobson's essay on how opening the corporate checkbook doesn't solve the Cubs' problems.
*
John Kass of The Chicago Tribune wrote recently in a story I linked to that Rahm Emanuel "narrowly defeated" Nancy Kaszak in 2002. Actually, as the Tribune reported at the time, Emanuel "handily defeated" Kaszak (by 11 points). Kass is still right about Emanuel though.
*
"The Cubs gave Henry Blanco a two-year, $5.25 million contract to be their backup catcher. This came a few months after the Twins gave their backup catcher, Mike Redmond, a two-year, $2 million deal."
Guess which one is better.
*
Blanco used to be with the Twins. He was replaced by Redmond.
*
"New York Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton scored ninth of the 20 leaders with a score of 49. Massachusetts Sen. John Kerry, the 2004 Democratic nominee who was roundly criticized before the election for suggesting that students who don't study could end up stuck in Iraq, came in last at 39.6.
"Kerry later apologized for what he said was a botched joke."
And that's how fiction becomes fact in American politics. It was a joke - about the president. Just go look at it yourself, or read the transcript. If you do, you'll have done more work than nearly every journalist who now lazily repeats this as if they actually know.
*
"In a low point in Democratic Party history, Pennsylvania Gov. Bob Casey was banned from speaking at the 1992 Democratic Convention for being opposed to abortion rights," Kirsten Powers wrote in a column that appeared on the Sun-Times Op-Ed page on Sunday.
And that's how fiction becomes fact in American politics. Casey was banned from speaking because he wouldn't endorse the party's nominee, which isn't an unreasonable prerequisite at a national convention.
*
Ralph Martire explains it all.
*
"Ouch. Keef and Ronnie don't even know the chords, they just noodle."
*
The Beachwood Tip Line: Joining hands.
Posted by Lou at 08:10 AM | Permalink
What I Watched Last Night
Monday nights and still nothing on the television and that is too bad. I would like to ask the readers of this fine little column, however, to start watching The Real World Denver. This show will definitely serve as my Thursday morning outlet for the rest of the season.
To bring you up to speed, there is a gay guy, two sluts, a girl who doesn't talk too much, a white "cool" guy, a Bible beater, and a huge guy from Omaha. You can already see the problems facing this place. Gay rights, racism, sexual promiscuity, a mental disorder (only a matter of time) and we'll have another hit on MTV.
The so-called "real world" is far from the real real world. In the real real world you have to pay rent and have a job. In the Real World you live in a dream house for free and work a "job" three hours a week. In the real world there are not cameras chasing you around. Also, a Bible beater and a gay man would never, by choice, live in the same house with each other. The women with loose sexual morals would, however, live with a "cool" guy.
I guess the only thing that is in common with the two versions of the world is that both phone conversations are monitored for secrets.
Pat Bataillon is the Beachwood's resident TV watcher. Catch up on everything he's been watching in the What I Watched Last Night archive.
Posted by Lou at 05:50 AM | Permalink
November 27, 2006
Message to Cubs: Grow Your Own
Yeah, I'm a Minnesota Twins fan. Have been ever since Harmon and Tony-O took Koufax to Game Seven in 1965. I've got a history with those guys - a history that includes a lot of lonely years when 8,000 people showing up at Met Stadium and later the Metrodome was considered a good night. But in all those years, never have I been as impressed with them as I was this year, when they won the AL Central in a mad dash and boasted the American League's MVP (Justin Morneau), its Cy Young winner (Johan Santana), and its batting champion (Joe Mauer). The Cardinals and Tigers got to the World Series, but I'd say it was the Twins who had the best season of anyone.
If only the Cubs were paying attention. The Twins have won their division four of the last five years with only a fraction of the North Siders' payroll. And yet, the Cubs stubbornly refuse to learn any lessons - as if their formula has been working. It hasn't, and opening up the Tribune Company's checkbook even more for someone like Alfonso Soriano won't work either. The real answer for the Cubs, as well as just about any baseball team, is obvious: Grow your own.
It's impossible to separate a major league baseball team's on-field performance from its ownership. The way a team's players play, even though the game itself is made up of individual athletic efforts, is in a subtle-but-sure way influenced by the personae of its owner(s) and management. It's nothing that you could really ever single out on a given day or game - it comes out over time in long-term patterns of play and effort that, taken together, tell a larger tale of a franchise, a history of success or failure, a reflection of a city. That's part of the beauty and subtlety of baseball that's completely unmatched by any other team sport.
With that in mind, let's look at what the Twins accomplished in 2006 in light of their ownership's strengths and weaknesses, and compare that to the Cubs' 2006 performance and how being owned by Tribune has influenced their on-field play.
The Twins are owned by one man: Banker and billionaire Carl Pohlad. Before he bought the team in 1984, it was owned for 70 years by the Griffith family, who moved it to Minnesota from Washington, D.C., in 1961. Pohlad made a very, very wise decision when he bought the team, which, in my opinion, has had a direct bearing on its recent success: He kept nearly all of the Griffiths' management team intact, including its vast network of minor league managers and scouts. That meant that the same old-time baseball hands who discovered Harmon Killebrew in the 1950s also discovered Kirby Puckett in the 1980s.
The Griffiths, even in the age before free agency, were well-known as skinflints who took the cutout-bin route to finding players. They had to, because they weren't wealthy dilettantes; they were baseball folk who had no other means of support. Fielding winning teams literally meant putting food on their table. So they plowed their meager funds back into building their baseball organization, spending comparatively modest amounts to make sure their scouts and farm managers were well taken of and given the resources they needed to become among the best in the world at one thing: Sifting through thousands of unknown quantities to find more diamonds-in-the-rough than the other teams.
For instance, the Senators/Twins were among the very first teams to systematically scout Latin America, and they're still among the best in that respect. Not only can they sign Latin stars, but they're always aware of which prospects held by other teams have real potential, so when trades are made for minor leaguers, it's almost always the Twins who come out ahead. It's paid off handsomely for them with a steady flow of Hispanic stars stretching from Camilo Pasqual to Francisco Liriano.
This system also meant that a certain style of play, initially developed by Clark and Calvin Griffith and later refined by former longtime manager Tom Kelly
to fit the Metrodome, was taught throughout its minor league system, from its lowest rookie league teams to its major league outfit. The organization also drafted and traded for talent that fit its system. This is called "organizational philosophy" - something the Cubs have never had, unless you count being virulently against players with high on-base percentages and falling in love with sluggers who strike out a lot. In the old days for the Twins, it was finding the best power hitters who could take out right-handed pitching. Later it was all about defense, baserunning and situational hitting. The style changed, but the consistancy within the organization never wavered. This meant the Twins always featured players who played as hard as they could because the organization was like a family to them. This hustle has made up for a lack of sheer talent on many, many occasions.
The biggest drawback to this approach is that the Twins are so dependent on their farm system that when it hits a dry spell, as it did during most of the 1990s, the big team will flounder. Because Pohlad is a miser, he'll never go out and spend top dollar for free agents to smooth over the rough spots. Which gets me to thinking - what if there were a team with both spendy owners and a great farm system? Such a team could build a lasting dynasty. That franchise could be the Cubs - if they had owners who knew what they were doing.
I thought the Cubs were on just such a path 12 years ago when Tribune hired Andy MacPhail to run the team. Like me, he moved from Minnesota to Chicago in 1994. I thought there was some kind of karma in that, and that together we would be able to bring some of that Twins magic with us. But it turned out the Cubs' corporate owner didn't care enough about winning to do what was really needed to build the franchise into something more than a one-time phenomenon that might be able to buy its way into breaking its "curse" and then fall apart because it had no real baseball foundation. As it turns out, its real foundation was nothing more than a bunch of wild fans who worshipped Wrigley Field but in reality didn't seem to know or care much about how you really build a winner.
The Cubs' MacPhail years have shown how roster decisions being made by a corporate board rather than a baseball "family" can bring only inconsistant results at best. My hopes that he would be allowed to emulate the Griffiths and build from within by forging a great farm system slowly unraveled -- it became apparent that MacPhail was really a corporate suit rather than a baseball guy, despite his sterling family name. We found out after his firing that it was indeed the Tribune's board that had final say on Cubs spending decisions, not MacPhail, which may explain why nothing was ever done to improve the farm system. That's a long-term investment that won't show up in the profit column and the share price until, well, maybe never. It's a "deep baseball" way to build a winner - and why bother with that when you can still put fannies in the seats by signing a few big-name free agents, a bunch of middling ones every year, and hire the most famous manager you can find? That's baseball as show buisness. But history has shown it's extremely hard to win consistently that way.
It makes me think that maybe MacPhail's accomplishment of winning two World Series with Twins was a result of him merely steering a ship that was already set in motion by Calvin Griffith and pushed along by Carl Pohlad.
One of the many lessons that the Cubs can learn from the Twins, as well as from two other 2006 playoff-caliber teams, Detroit and Oakland, is that pitching and defense always counts for more than slugging. It amuses me to see how the sports media has anointed the Cubs a playoff contender now that they've signed Soriano, because when you look closely at the Cubs, you see that they've been built in such a hodge-podge manner that they're poorly matched for their own home ballpark. Yeah, Soriano may hit 50 homers in Wrigley, but will that help them win when the pitching staff gives them all right back? You'll never win consistently at a place llke Wrigley with a staff full of fly-ball pitchers and defensive hacks.
The biggest number to remember for the Cubs from this year is this: their pitching staff gave up 125 homers at Wrigley. That was the most home field homers allowed in the entire major leagues. What that shows is that the Cubs don't have the right kind of pitchers for their own ballpark. Especially in the summer when Wrigley is homer-friendly, the Cubs need groundball pitchers, in other words, pitchers who can hit the low strike zone. That calls for hurlers who rely on sinking fastballs and sliders, and can get that pitch over the plate. They've never had many of those, especially with the continued absence of Mark Prior.
Also, in a homer-friendly environment, you need pitchers who don't give up walks. Guess which club gave up the third-most home field walks in the majors? I don't see how Soriano is going to help that. The only way the Cubs are going to be a contender for anything is not to just keep adding overpaid bashers to their lineup, but to find ways to pitch effectively at Wrigley. That's going to take more than Neal Cotts.
Another thing Soriano surely won't help is the Cubs' below-average defense. Overall, they were sixth in the National League in number of errors committed with 106. Their fielding percentage was 11th-worst of out 16 N.L. teams. No team that commits that many errors is going to contend for a title. Is it a coincidence that Soriano's Washington Nationals were the worst-fielding team in the N.L. last year? Soriano, who was forced into the outfield last year against his wishes, committed 11 errors in the field. That was most of any outfielder in the N.L. with the exception of Cincinnati's Adam Dunn. Let's face it, Soriano will be a huge defensive liability for a team that already head some very suspect fielding abilities.
The Cubs' pathetic performance this season completes a collapse that began two years ago after they blew a chance to make the 2004 playoffs by losing seven of eight games down the stretch in late September and early October. When this season ended, there were only four players remaining from that late-2004 squad who really figure into the Cubs' future: Derrek Lee, Aramis Ramirez, Michael Barrett and Carlos Zambrano. In the "maybe" category are Kerry Wood and Mark Prior. Gone are Sammy Sosa, Moises Alou, Corey Patterson, Neifi Perez, Todd Walker, Mark Grudzielanek, Nomar Garciaparra, Greg Maddux, Matt Clement, Kyle Farnsworth, Mike Remlinger and LaTroy Hawkins. Among others. And not to mention Dusty Baker.
Of the team's four holdover "franchise" players, only Zambrano is a product of the Cubs' farm system. Wood and Prior were first-round draft picks who passed through the minors so quickly you could hardly credit the Cubs with developing them. (Instead, the Cubs' seem to have done them more damage than good.)
Compare that to the Twins' troika of superstars: Santana, Mauer and Morneau each worked their way through the team's farm system. Other key Twins in the same category include Torii Hunter, Brad Radke, Jason Bartlett and Michael Cuddyer. That means seven of their core "franchise" players were home grown. Another one that got away: David Ortiz. And consider that the added talent that allowed them to win the division - Joe Nathan, Carlos Silva, Nick Punto, Luis Castillo and Liriano - were acquired through canny trades, not free agency. The managing reins have been held by the Tom Kelly-Ron Gardenhire duo since 1986.
How much of more of an abject lesson in the benefits of building from within can there be? Combine the Twins' experience with the similar tale of the Atlanta Braves, the most consistently winning team of the last decade, and you'll see a pattern. Look as well to the Oakland A's, another example of a team that wins consistently - despite losing big-name free agents every year - because it has a consistent philosophy. If you're not the New York Yankees, you'll never build a consistent winner through free agency. Instead, build a farm system. Establish a consistent on-field philosophy that fits the quirks of your home ballpark. Develop an organization that breeds loyalty by spotting hidden talent and keeping it, including managers.
Until the Cubs learn how to act like a real baseball franchise instead of a marketing venture or, now, a low-rent version of the Yankees, the Billy Goat curse will live on. It's the curse of a stubborn animal unable to learn the lessons staring him in the face.
Posted by Don at 03:47 PM | Permalink
Booklist: Five Best Books Ever (For Now)
1. Ballad of the Confessor/William Zink.
Of course you've never heard of it. But that doesn't make it any less of a masterpiece. The weight of the world is on the shoulders of the working man. Being a working man doesn't mean you're not also a thinking man. The weight of the world is crushing the soul of our thinking, working, protaganist. We can relate.
2. To Kill a Mockingbird/Harper Lee.
Whaddya mean you saw the movie and that's good enough? Read the frickin' book!!! You find words in it offensive? Cultural context, people. That's how life was. Hell, in a lot of places, it's how life still is. But if Atticus Finch isn't one of your personal heroes, if Jem and Scout aren't up there on your list, it's time to figure where you went wrong.
3. Ender's Game/Orson Scott Card.
How any one man could predict so many things so accurately is alarming. The use of the Internet for, well, almost everything (in a book written long before the Internet was in even remotely common usage)? The scary fact that we believe 99.9 percent of the bullshit that's fed to us? Blogging, at a time when most of us didn't even have personal computers? If the rest of what's foretold in this book comes true, we're really screwed. But as long as we have people with conscience, even if they are children, we will not lose our humanity. Ender Wiggin, where are you when we need you most?
4. Bangkok 8/John Burdett.
On the surface, this is a murder mystery. But with a neat little flick of a serpent's tail, Bangkok 8 transcends gender and you suddenly find yourself so immersed in Thai culture you might as well be police detective Songchai Jittlecheep's alter ego. A book that can both be a whodunnit and teach you not to judge other cultures by your own Western values is a masterpiece indeed. Also recommended: the sequel, Bangkok Tattoo.
5. The Devil in the White City/Erik Larsen.
This may well be the only non-fic I've ever asked for for Christmas, and I was immersed in it from page one. In fact, I can easily say that this book, with its brilliant intertwining of architectural wonder and macabre murder, helped influence my move back to Chicago after an eight-year absence - it made me want to come home. It could only happen here. I love this goddamn city.
Previous Booklists:
* Hipster 101
* Books Most Commonly Owned But Not Read
* Kinko's Kiosk
* The Last 10 Books I Read And Why
* Ten Books I Have Hated Most So Far And Why
* The Beachwood Inn Bookshelf
* Books As Urban Accessories
Posted by Lou at 02:09 PM | Permalink
The [Monday] Papers
1. If only Abt had a liquor license.
2. I will never buy a Chevrolet or a John Mellencamp record again. Not that I ever bought either to begin with. But still.
3. Two people pointed out to me yesterday that the ranch in the latest of the Mellencamp commercials is the KK ranch. "Just one K short," one said. Ain't that America.
4. Michael Richards goes on Jesse Jackson's nationally syndicated radio show to apologize and discuss last week's racial tirade and the Tribune gives it a few wire service paragraphs on page 15 in its celebrity Personals column - right next to items about Mario Lopez and Karina Smirnoff going on vacation together and a Princess Diana benefit concert in the making. Ain't that America.
5. The Beachwood Study Group solves Iraq.
6. Abt should consider selling personal seat licenses
7. Dawn Turner Trice just learned about Flavor of Love. Welcome to Planet Earth! Enjoy your brief stay here.
8. Yuppie and Chocolate Factory.
9. David Blaine: Alternate Endings.
10. "A few years before the Southwest accident, Chicago and the FAA had agreed that due to the shorage of available land, it was not practical under FAA criteria to build the 1,000-foot runway safety areas or the satndard 600-foot aircraft-arresting system on runway ends at the landlocked Southwest Side airport," the Tribune reported over the weekend.
The city has no business having - and expanding - an airport there. If the mayor was truly the visionary he is said to be, he would have created a comprehensive transportation plan at some point in his 17 yars as mayor that would have closed Midway, capped flights at O'Hare, and built a third airport with express rail (and a refurbished El lines on the South Side) to the Loop.
11. The Sun-Times noted that new buffers at the Southwest Side airport "marked a departure from previous statements made by city officials, including Mayor Daley, that major changes at Midway weren't needed to improve safety."
12. "C'MON, TODD!" The Sun-Times pleaded on its front page on Sunday. "They said we were crazy to endorse you in the election but we stood by you . . . and you're letting us down already?" And yet, the paper still refuses to tell the truth about how the editorial board was allegedly overruled by publisher John Cruickshank in its endorsement, apparently to pander to black readers. Maybe the headline ought to have been C'MON JOHN, WE TOLD YOU SO! The paper is kidding itself if it thinks Todd Stroger is going to suddenly become somebody he's not. Then again, they've got a ready-made headline now they'll be able to use an untold number of times in the next four years. Maybe they oughta just make it a permanent part of its logo, like that broken palm tree.
13. Stroger doesn't want to fire Gerald Nichols before Christmas, which is very compassionate of him. Of course, Nichols makes six figures for nothing that anybody can figure out. But still, you wouldn't want to put the guy out on the street during the holidays.
14. If Stroger continues to meet with Nichols outside the office, as he says he will, which one ought to wear the wire?
15. On Bobbie Steele's plan to hand her job to her son, the Sun-Times editorial page says: "Bequeathing government positions to children is bad old-style politics and she shouldn't do it." From the paper that endorsed Todd Stroger.
16. Then again, the edit board says that in her short time as interim president, Steele has performed "admirably, bringing intelligence and common sense to tackling the county's problems." Name one example. Her one responsibility was to put together a budget, which she hasn't done. Maybe the paper will endorse her to stay on as interim president emeritus.
17. The Tribune had a really good idea - though not great in execution - on Sunday, asking its arts critics to recall reviews in which they had reassessed their original opinion. I wish the paper's editorial board would exhibit the same sense of humility and self-examination, seeing as it is still performing intellectual contortions to justify its support of the war. In its latest rationalization, the paper tries to draw a parallel between Iraq and the Hungarian uprising of 1957, which is a completely unworkable analogy on several levels, the first of which is that there was no uprising in Iraq, and in fact no real democracy movement, and thus no side for us to be on. The editorial board also doesn't address the fact that in the long run a containment strategy may have been the best way to deal with turning Iraq into a democracy, and that the damage this course of action has caused will likely set back the American cause of exporting democracy for years to come.
I didn't see that the paper is advocating the overthrow of North Korea and Cuba either, or owning up to our role in overthrowing democracies in places such as Chile, or recalling in disgust our support of a military coup of the democractically-elected Hugo Chavez, or discussing the Shah we installed and propped up in Iran, which haunts us to this day.
Just admit it, Tribune: You were wrong.
18. The likelihood that larger class sizes miraculously translate into educational gains is about the same as Todd Stroger becoming president of the United States. The smaller classes that performed worse than the larger classes also had a greater percentage of impovershed students. Why is everyone so afraid to attribute achievement gaps to socioeconomic background - because it proves we have to spend more money on poor people? All these other issues are details.
19. "A Racial Gap, Or An Income Gap?"
20. Erika Coleman made the front page of Saturday's Sun-Times. For what? Parking in a handicapped spot. Which is not a nice thing to do. But . . . front-page news?"She was one of two dozen caught in a sting targeting drivers illegally parking in spots reserved for the disabled." Other stories making news in the Sun-Times recently: Kids redid the kitchen when the parents were out! A dog is missing! A wedding ring is lost! Coming tomorrow: A profile of Sheriff Andy Taylor.
21. Dateline Bronzeville.
23. "Ronald Reagan once said, 'You know, you don't even think of Colin as black.'" Because Reagan's perception of a black man was . . . of someone else. "I ain't that black," Powell said himself. Because Powell's perception of a black man is apparently just like Reagan's.
Colin Powell was a loyal soldier - loyal to his career, and maybe his president, but not loyal to his country.
24. "Solomon was David's son, the wisest man who ever lived. If it's considered tradition, so be it," Steele told ABC-7. "I don't want anyone to think that I'm a bandit and I'm taking something and running. That's not me. I didn't make the law, and if I become the beneficiary of it, it's by no doing of my own."
Steele ought to consult some ethical and spiritual advisors on that. But then, the biggest bandit of all is Daley. The political culture starts at the top.
25. Today is a good day to review how to make an angry sports radio call.
The Beachwood Tip Line: We told you so. In so many ways.
Posted by Lou at 07:27 AM | Permalink
Go Iraq
The Pentagon's closely guarded review of how to improve the situation in Iraq has outlined three basic options: Send in more troops, shrink the force but stay longer, or pull out, according to senior defense officials. Insiders have dubbed the options "Go Big," "Go Long" and "Go Home."
- Washington Post, "Pentagon May Suggest Short-Term Buildup Leading to Iraq Exit"
The Beachwood Study Group has also developed some options.
* Go Chicago: Divide Iraq into 50 wards and install a strongman.
* Go the Distance: Wait for deceased smarter strategists to come out of the cornfields with a solution.
* Go Bears. Not good on the attack, but should be able to contain offensives inside the Green Zone.
* Go Fuck Yourself: Send Dick Cheney to verbally assault.
* Go Your Own Way: Send in Fleetwood Mac. If they can overcome their differences to reunite, imagine what they can do to help settle sectarian differences.
* GO.com: Bring sects together with ugly, conglomerated website.
* The Go Team + OK Go = First Annual Baghdad Rock Festival.
* GoDaddy: First militia to go a month without killing anyone wins free domain name with hosting.
* Go Wild: Baghdad is beset with beer-soaked, bleach-blonde women hell-bent on removing all of their clothing. A team of "videographers" records the events "for posterity."
* Go West, Young Man: Attack Syria instead.
* Go Lightly: Sneak out in the middle of the night, possibly with the help of David Blaine.
* Do Not Pass Go: A national Monopoly turnout to determine property ownership.
* Consider: Perhaps we have a growing problem, not a going problem.
* Gomentum: Send Joe Lieberman on a fact-finding mission - to Kazakhstan.
* Go Under: What we're doing now.
- Scott Gordon, Rick Kaempfer, Steve Rhodes
Posted by Lou at 06:41 AM | Permalink
Labelle: Nightbirds
At one time, "Lady Marmalade" was unquestionably one of the great tracks from the '70s: a sexy, four-minute funk party with a hot streetwalker whose lovers just can't stop thinking about her or her come-on line: "Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?" But if you actually really listen to "Lady Marmalade," you'll sense that this character and her story are also fleeting and sad.
These days, the whole song is kind of fleeting and sad, because it's one of many once-terrific singles that have been overplayed by Oldies radio programmers and included in too many bad movies or Democratic political campaigns - just like "Lean on Me," "You Are the Sunshine of My Life," "More Than a Feeling," and "Don't Stop (Thinking About Tomorrow)." Still, these are great songs, especially when placed in the right context.
Context matters. Consider the ongoing example of politicians who are also liars. Nixon may have lied, but he sure did cheat. Yet even Nixon occasionally talked about social justice. Ford probably lied, but no one seems to remember anything he did or said, while Reagan really didn't lie, because he couldn't remember anything he did or said. In between, Carter probably lied, and probably should have lied a lot more. The first Bush undoubtedly lied, but he'll mostly be remembered for yakking on the Japanese prime minister and siring a son who wasn't interested in learning anything and simply got others to lie for him. Clinton lied, too, but the comparison with his successor has made many people wish he were back in office lying to the American people all over again.
They were all liars, but the context changed, and we've decided to remember them all differently. In other words, a healthy tension exists between universal laws and situational ethics; between the constant and the constantly changing; between the idea that a few glasses of wine over dinner with friends is always a good plan and the idea that drinking out of the bottle with the company of your cats is a special night; between songs stolen by marketing people and used as advertisements and songs that make up album cycles about pain, lust, fantasy, drugs, spiritual searching, music and politics - the joys of life.
All of the great, overplayed songs of the '70s can still approach perfection at certain moments - especially "Lady Marmalade," and especially when it's heard within the rest of the amazing Nightbirds record. In the early-to-mid 70s, as Nixon was burying himself under layers of lies, Patti LaBelle, Nona Hendryx, and Sarah Dash began dressing up, like Bowie, in what appeared to be discarded costumes from the set of Barbarella - not that Jane Fonda wore much of a costume, or anything else, in that movie. Think about it, though - Barbarella might not be the one of the greatest all-time sci-fi movies, but under certain conditions, it's probably one of the greatest sci-fi movies to try to watch.
LaBelle's old record jackets are similarly fun to try to figure out. The three singers look like they are ready to board their own spacecraft and rocket away from this world of rigid thinking and factory-produced R&B. But when you play the records, especially this one - which was released within a few weeks of Nixon's resignation - something else emerges: a danceable, haunting story collection that happens to be told through an excellent mix of '70s R&B, rock, gospel and New Orleans funk. After "Lady Marmalade" has come and gone, they sing, "Somebody somewhere will hear our cry for freedom," and after that, "Are you lonely?" The beats and basslines, many provided by The Meters, are full of passion, anxiety, and defiance; yet while some songs ("Don't Bring Me Down") signal rebellion, others ("It Took a Long Time") promise salvation or hope for peace ("Nightbirds").
The album ends with "You Turn Me On," a song about passion and loss that, in the best soul tradition, could be directed at God as well as a departed lover. It is so wistful and so deeply felt that it becomes beautiful and promising all over again. Is this Lady Marmalade singing? One of the lost voices who cried out for freedom earlier on the album? A citizen tired of lying and war? Some other neglected soul looking for release? Or simply a jilted lover? It depends on how and when you hear it, and who you are when you do.
Posted by Don at 06:27 AM | Permalink
November 23, 2006
The [Thanksgiving] Papers
1. The Greatest Turkey Event in Thanksgiving Day History.
2. Thanksgiving Day Phone Call. (via Rick Kaempfer)
3. Rare breed of wild turkey ready for serving at Beachwood HQ.
4. "[T]he homogenized and sanitized history learned as children and revisited every Thanksgiving holiday bears faint resemblance to the actual people and dramatic events of that desperate time."
5. Yuppie and The Chocolate Factory.
6. The World According to Altman.
7. GreenBrett and other TomKat-like marriages of convenience in the NFL.
8. Urlacher is the turkey; the schedule is the gravy.
9. Thanksgiving at the Sun-Times.
10. The Sun-Times Thanksgiving memo was sent out a day after Cy Friedheim was namd CEO.
"He will be paid a base salary of $680,000 and be eligible for a target 2007 bonus of up to $1.36 million," Crain's