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« April 2006 | Main | June 2006 »
May 31, 2006
A Trademark Checklist
"This Trademark Checklist is a handy guide to some of the best known federally registered U.S. trademarks. This list is a sample of the International Trademark Association's (INTA) list of nearly 3,000 trademarks and service marks with their generic terms."
747 airplanes and structural parts thereof
Absolut vodka
Academy Awards annual award program
Ajax soap and household cleaner
Atkins Diet food supplements
Balderdash word and board games
Band-Aid adhesive bandages
Black Hawk military helicopter
Blistex medicated lip ointment
Bon Bons ice cream
Books On Tape pre-recorded audio cassette tapes
BOTOX injections for pharmaceutical and cosmetic purposes
Brita water filtering units
Bubble Wrap cellular cushioning packaging material
Budget renting and leasing of motor vehicles
Butterball poultry
Craftmatic electric adjustable bed
Diet Coke soft drink
Doc Martens footwear
Dockers clothing, footwear, accessories
Dogpile online search engine
Dreamweaver computer software
Duraflame artificial fireplace logs
eBay online auction services
Egg Beaters egg substitute
Electrolux vacuum cleaners and parts
Express Mail delivery services by mail
E-Z-Pass collection of tolls using an electronic system
Febreze fabric deodorizer
Filofax loose-leaf diaries and agenda books
Frigidaire appliances
Frisbee toy flying saucer
Gardenburger vegetable-based meat substitutes
Glow Stick toy lightsticks
Glucometer blood glucose meters & reagents
iTunes audio data computer software
Jaws of Life rescue tools
Jeep all-terrain vehicles
Kleenex tissues, napkins
Laundromat electric laundry washers
Lycra spandex fibers
Mach3 razors, razor blades
MapQuest online access to geographic information
McAfee computer virus software
MetaCrawler online search engine
Metallica entertainment services, clothing, stickers
MetroCard magnetically coded metro fare cards
NASCAR National Association for Stock Car Autoracing, Inc.
Netflix video rental and retail services
Nexis data storage and retrieval
Outlook computer programs
Palm personal and handheld computers
Phish Food ice cream
Photoshop computer software
Ping-Pong game played with rackets and balls
Pixar entertainment services in the field of film and television
Plasticine modeling paste
Play-Doh modeling compound
Realtor member of the National Association of Realtors
Red Cross charitable fundraising blood banks
Red Hots candy
Retin A acne preparations
Ritalin stimulant (methylphenidate)
Rite Aid retail drug stores services
Sheetrock plaster wall board
Silly Putty modeling clay
Spark Notes study guides in the field of literature
Spinning stationary bicycle training and instruction
Sterno solid fuel
Tae Bo instructional teaching services for aerobics & martial arts
Taser non-lethal firearm
Teflon fluorine-containing resins, coatings
Telecopier fax machines
Thermos bottles, jars, decanters, flasks
TiVo subscription television broadcasting services
TLC cable television network broadcasting services
U-Haul truck and automobile trailer rentals
VirusScan computer programs for data integrity and security
WebCrawler online search engine
Wite-Out correction fluid
Xbox video game system
Posted by Lou at 04:48 PM | Permalink
The [Debate] Papers: Gloves Off in Gov Debate. Brains, Too.
The first gubernatorial debate between Gov. Rod Blagojevich and challenger Judy Baar Topinka - broadcast last Sunday on Dick Kay's City Desk - was a truly weird and disturbing affair whose freakishness was nowhere near adequately captured by the media covering it.
Perhaps intent on providing a "balanced" account rather than a true one - and enthralled by a real, unscripted debate in which the challenger actually, um, challenged the incumbent - the media reports focused on the fact itself that a debate actually broke out at a debate rather than examining the incredibly lame and reckless behavior of the participants.
Personally, I found myself wondering at times if Judy Baar Topinka was doing lines of coke during the commercial breaks or was simply overly mindful of advisors urging her to attack, attack, attack. The unhinged Topinka, who by the way is the state treasurer, and a Republican, reminded me of one of those cranky old folks who rise to speak during the public comments portion of city council or school board meetings and is so incensed about her complaint of the day that she can't spit out a coherent sentence. She made me wonder if our state's money was really safe with her.
On the other hand, I found myself wondering at times if the pouty Blagojevich was going to cry as he pleaded with mom that he really had been a good boy.
Is there still time for someone not named James Meeks to make a third-party run?
And yet, I find it incredibly easy to declare a winner amidst the hijinks.
If only by default due to Topinka's incredible lack of preparation combined with a complete lack of anything constructive to say, I have to give it to Hot Rod.
(You can see the debate for yourself here.)
It's still not clear whether Topinka really wants to be governor, and if her campaign so far is any indication, she has no plans for what she would do in the office for four years except moan about what a bad a job Blagojevich did.
I say that as someone who is not exactly a huge fan of the governor. I wrote during the primary campaign of 2002 that he was a phony, empty suit. I still believe that. In Paul Vallas - someone whose record as head of the Chicago schools was decidedly mixed in my view - we would have nonetheless had a governor who was an expert in education and budgets who also had experience as a chief executive running a calcified bureaucracy. I can hardly think of a better fit of candidate to job, but that's ancient history.
Now we face the prospect of four more years of the Boy Governor or four years of the Crazy Aunt in the Attic.
I was scoring the debate at home. This is how I sized up the action.
ROUND ONE: MONEY
Topinka sets the tone for her approach early by casting aspersions without having facts. She struck me as a tabloidish candidate who I'm pretty sure will at some point question the governor's marriage and spout off about Dick Mell with no regard to what she actually knows versus what she infers through the press.
Topinka says the governor is "just loaded with money, which is probably a question in itself."
Which would be a fine line of attack if she were, say, proposing campaign finance reform. She's not. She would take the Blago campaign's bank account in a heartbeat. So her real complaint is that he's been able to raise a ton more money than she has been able to raise.
Blagojevich, on the other hand, deflects the conversation away from his finances to the finances of the state, talking about "the mess we inherited." It's been four years, Rod. Yes, you inherited a mess from George Ryan. Get over it. Time to move on.
SCORING: Half a point for Blagojevich - or, rather, deduct half a point from Topinka.
Blago 0. Topinka -1/2.
ROUND TWO: MINIMUM WAGE
Topinka says Blagojevich's plans to increase the minimum wage will be "another broken promise. There is no minimum wage increase coming around."
Wow. That's pretty bold. I'm not so sure he won't be able to do it - he did it in his first term, raising it from $5.15 to $6.50 - but if he can't do it again, isn't that more likely to be the fault of the General Assembly?
Meanwhile, what is her position on a minimum wage increase? She's against it.
Unasked question: Ms. Topinka, where would you set the minimum wage if it was up to you?
SCORING: Blagojevich may be full of broken promises, but to use his proposal to increase the minimum wage to try to make that point isn't very good politics. Point for Blagojevich.
Blago 1. Topinka -1/2.
ROUND THREE: GUNS
"We have enough gun laws on the books, so why bother?" says Topinka. "Guns are already illegal now . . . Enforce the gun laws we have and we'll be in good shape. There's more than enough laws on the books."
Blagojevich counters by informing his opponent that AK47s, Uzis, and other assault rifles remain legal in Illinois.
Memo to Topinka: You can be against "gun control" while agreeing that AK47s and Uzis probably shouldn't be available to any aggrieved mope who struts into a Cicero gun shop. And showing a little compassion for those whose families and neighborhoods have been torn apart by gun violence wouldn't hurt either.
More importantly, Ms. Topinka, is enforcing the gun laws more stringently your only answer? Do you really think that will be enough? How do you intend to strengthen enforcement? Are you saying police officers are doing a lousy job enforcing the current laws?
SCORING: A no-brainer. A point for Blagojevich, and a half-point deduction for Topinka.
Blago 3. Topinka -1 1/2.
ROUND FOUR: SLEAZE
Seriously, is Topinka loaded? She's starting to just throw out names and phrases with no explanation to viewers - and often no verbs either. "Talked to Tony Rezko lately?" she asks the governor. Maybe only insiders watch City Desk - well, let's face it, only news geeks watch it - but any members of the public at-large watching by accident might not get the reference. They aren't stupid, they just have jobs.
Now, I happen to believe that the governor's association with folks like Tony Rezko, just one controversial member of Blagojevich's kitchen cabinet who appears to be in the sights of federal investigators, could blow up before the election. But running a smear campaign isn't the best way to score political points - the facts themselves are disturbing enough.
Blagojevich, ever the smooth-talker, shows Topinka how it's done. In questioning Topinka's practice of collecting campaign contributions from state employees, including her own, as well as collecting contributions from banks in which she deposits state money, Blagojevich says, "I'm not suggesting it's illegal, that's for others to decide." And then he suggests it's, well, if not illegal, certainly wrong.
Topinka, astonishingly, responds by claiming that Blagojevich is the most investigated governor in the history of Illinois. Has Topinka been frozen since the day of George Ryan's inauguration? In fact, Ryan was probably the most investigated governor in state history even before he actually became governor, given his criminal tenure as secretary of state.
Topinka also says that because the FBI has interviewed Blagojevich he must be in "hot water." Well, that certainly could be true. I think he's in trouble. But an FBI interview alone isn't sufficient to make the charge. There are plenty of reasons why the FBI would be interested in interviewing the governor, given the type of cases involving the administration that federal prosecutors are pursuing.
But Topinka doesn't stop there. She says it's a matter of "when, not if," Blagojevich will be indicted. I'd say it's still a question of "if." Unless Topinka has some inside information she'd like to share with the class, she might want to stick with what she knows, not what she hopes for.
Is this the kind of person we want to be governor? Someone of this temparament and disregard for facts who can't keep her mouth shut?
And again, what does Topinka propose? Where is her ethics package? Blagojevich did pass one, whatever you think of it.
Not only that, but Topinka is now interrupting both Blagojevich and Dick Kay repeatedly. It's aggravating.
Blagojevich, on the other hand, is missing a chance to rise above her peculiar performance by keeping his cool. Instead, he looks like the schoolboy being scolded by the mean, old, teacher.
Wait, she's not done!
"He's the new George Ryan!"
If only Blagojevich's comeback was: "And you're the old one!"
Topinka is going to have a hard time distancing herself from Ryan given that she was the chair of the Illinois Republican Party during Ryan's last two years as governor. (And in that capacity, she oversaw the wildly successful back-to-back Senate nominations of Jack Ryan and Alan Keyes.)
Who let all these morons in here?
SCORING: I can't give Blagojevich any points, and in fact, I deduct a point for his Little Boy Lost routine. Topinka, meanwhile, has not only every right, but a duty, to press Blagojevich on the ethical concerns of his administration. She'd be better off, though, trying the direct approach. "Governor," she should ask, "will you look into the camera right now and say you did not exchange seats on state boards and commissions for campaign contributions? Governor, will you say that donors received nothing in return for their money but your honest service - no jobs, no contracts, no access? Will you swear to us right now that this is true?"
But that's not what Topinka did. Instead, for a brief moment, she morphed into Andy Martin, earning a five-point deduction.
Blago 2. Topinka -6 1/2.
ROUND FIVE: PENSIONS
Don't roll your eyes, this is really about balancing the state budget. Actually, yes, roll your eyes.
Suffice to say, Blagojevich, who, in case you forgot, inherited a mess, has used smoke-and-mirrors to balance the budget. But Judy, where is your budget? What would you have done differently if you had been governor? What taxes would you have raised? None? Then what programs would you have cut?
SCORING: If you run as a candidate of change, you have to offer change. Topinka has yet to offer anything. No points for anyone. And no dessert.
Blago 2. Topinka -6 1/2.
ROUND SIX: EDUCATION, HEALTH CARE, ECONOMY
Blagojevich keeps insisting he wants to talk about these topics. And I believe him. But it would just turn into a stump speech for him. After all, he can't attack Topinka's positions on these issues because she doesn't have any.
Topinka says Illinois is 46th in job creation, though later she seems to amend that to saying Illinois is in the "46th percentile" - of something. Blagojevich says the state ranks fourth in the nation in job creation.
Blago attacks Topinka for saying on her Website that her office created 100,000 jobs. (The Treasurer's Office creates jobs? I mean, besides for friends and family?)
Topinka says that might be a "misprint."
Topinka rips Blagojevich's plan to sell or lease the state lottery to fund school improvements. Blago asks where her education plan is. She says it's coming this summer.
Apparently, up to now, she hasn't really thought about education. She says she's "not in a rush." She spits out the words "mentoring" and "high-tech."
Blagojevich and Dick Kay, in effect, say to her, You've been a state legislator for 23 years, a treasurer for 11 years, and a candidate who has already gone through a primary and you don't have an education plan?
Kay: Would you scuttle the governor's plan?
Topinka: No, some of his ideas are very good.
Okay, then.
"Most investigated! FBI! Public Official A!"
Whoa, where did that come from? Is she stuck on some sort of tape loop?
SCORING: No points for Blagojevich because he's only doing his job, and not very well at that. But Topinka fumbles badly on her insistence that businesses are fleeing the state because of high taxes (isn't that from a really old Republican script, circa 1983?) and no plan whatsoever for our state's schools, to go along with the rest of her no plans. Minus five.
Blago 2. Topinka -11 1/2.
And that's being charitable - to both of them.
Posted by Lou at 03:11 PM | Permalink
Bob Dylan Plays Ball
We're getting to know the inscrutable Bob Dylan a little better each week as his Theme Time Radio Hour continues through its first month on XM Satellite Radio. Not that he gives us any heart-to-heart, Oprah-style public soul-searching, and that's probably a good thing, all told. I'm really past the point of caring about that anyway - whatever I may discover now about how he thinks isn't going to change my life like it may have 30 years ago. In fact, it could probably only lower him in my estimation, and God knows I need to hang on to whatever tattered bits of idealism I have left from my so-called youth.
Instead, Bob continues to let us know him through poetry and music. That's how it should be. After theme shows about the weather, mothers, drinking and now baseball, I'm really beginning to think Dylan is just a regular ol' guy at heart. Mom? Booze? Baseball? Hell, sounds like my life. After listening to his shows, I'm becoming convinced that Dylan's godlike aura came about largely because of his refusal to deal with the voracious publicity machine rather than from any kind of mystical superiority. (See? That's just the kind of thing I didn't need to know, dammit! I want to worship my heroes, not go bowling with them!)
However, I'm finding my attempts at describing Dylan's radio shtick to be insufficient. Nothing I can say can quite capture it. So I'm going to just give up and let those of you who are too cheap to go out and get XM Radio for yourselves to read a transcript of his baseball theme show in late May.
The show opens with Dylan speaking the lyrics:
"Nelly Kelly loved baseball games,
Knew the players, knew all their names,
You could see her there ev'ry day,
Shout 'Hurray' when they'd play.
Her boyfriend by the name of Joe
Said, 'To Coney Isle, dear, let's go,'
Then Nelly started to fret and pout,
And to him I heard her shout.
(Dylan sings)
"Take me out to the ball game,
Take me out with the crowd.
Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jack,
I don't care if I never get back,
Let me root, root, root for the home team,
If they don't win it's a shame.
For it's one, two, three strikes, you're out,
At the old ball game.
(back to reciting)
"Nelly Kelly was sure some fan,
She would root just like any man,
Told the umpire he was wrong,
All along, good and strong.
When the score was just two to two,
Nelly Kelly knew what to do,
Just to cheer up the boys she knew,
She made the game sing this song.
". . . and I just sung it fer ya."
1. Skeletons. "Take Me Out to the Ballgame"
Stepping up to the batters box first, we got Miss Mabel Scott. She played for a while with the Jimmie Lunceford Orchestra and was a regular at the Club Alabam in Los Angeles. She sang with a group led by Lorenzo Flennoy. In the early '50s she moved over to King Records where she sang this song about the greatest game on Earth.
2. Mabel Scott. "Baseball Boogie"
Can you catch? Can you hold the ball? When you step up to the plate, will you swing and foul? Baseball Boogie, by Mabel Scott, on Theme Time Radio Hour.
3. Chancy Halladay. "Home Run"
In the '50s, every red-blooded American boy either wanted to play baseball or be Elvis Presley. Here's a rockabilly song by Chancy Halladay that combines the best of both worlds.
Knockin' the cover right off the ball, that was Chancy Halladay stepping right up to the plate, hittin' a grand slam, sweepin' ya off your feet, scoring a home run with ya, and with me too. "Home Run," on Theme Time Radio Hour.
I caught up with Charlie Sheen at the Car Wash. He's a big baseball fan, and he's got a lot of opinions about the game.
(Short interview with Charlie Sheen comparing baseball to life)
(Tape of Curt Gowdy's call of Ted Williams' final at-bat - a home run)
4. Johnny Darling. "Baseball Baby"
A little doo-wop from the King record label telling us all about a baseball baby.
5. Lawrence Ferlinghetti. "Baseball Canto"
Next we have a "Baseball Canto" by Lawrence Ferlinghetti, a well-known poet who lived in San Francisco. He started the City Lights Bookstore. His publication of Allen Ginsberg's Howl in 1956 led to his arrest on obscenity charges. He was a brave man and a brave poet.
Watchin' baseball, sittin' in the sun, eatin' popcorn,
Readin' Ezra Pound
And wishin' Juan Marichal would hit a hole right through the
Anglo-Saxon tradition in the first canto
And demolish the barbarian invaders.
Well, why I don't let Larry say the rest of it?
6. Cowboy Copas. "Three Strikes and You're Out"
Here's Cowboy Copas, a honky-tonk singer from the late '40s. He was making a comeback in the early '60s when he died in the same air crash that killed Patsy Cline and Hawkshaw Hawkins. Three strikes and you're out. Here he's talkin' about love being like a game, where if you don't win, you can pout, you can make three strikes and you're out.
7. Sister Wynona Carr. "The Ball Game"
If diamonds are a girl's best friend, why do so many of them get mad when you want to go to the ballpark? You tell me. Sister Wynona Carr was a powerful gospel singer. She also recorded some rhythm and blues numbers. Her best known, however, is a gospel song and it's all about the game of baseball.
That's Sister Carr talkin' about life being a ballgame, where every day anyone can play, and Jesus is at the home plate, at first base is temptation, second base is sin, third base is tribulation and King Solomon is the umpire. Satan's trying to psyche you out and Daniel is up at bat, Satan pitches a fastball and Job hits a home run. You got to just swing at the ball, give it your all, Moses is on the sidelines, he's waitin' to be called.
8. Buddy Johnson Orchestra. "Did You See Jackie Robinson Hit That Ball?"
Next we have Buddy Johnson with his jump-blues song, "Did You See Jackie Robinson Hit That Ball?" He's talking in the song about Satchel Paige and Roy Campanella, Don Newcombe and Larry Doby, too. Singing about, "yes, boy, yes, Jackie can hit that ball, did you see Jackie Robinson hit that ball?" I don't know, I wasn't there, but I sure feel like I was.
The man who broke the color line in the major leagues.
9. Les Brown. "Joltin' Joe DiMaggio"
You know, Abbott & Costello said that many baseball players have funny names.
(excerpt from "Who's on First?" routine)
But they also have funny nicknames. Ted Williams was known as the Splendid Splinter. Babe Ruth, the Sultan of Swat. Ty Cobb was known as the ol' Georgia Peach. Let's not forget Mordecai "Three Fingers" Brown. And the Yankee Clipper, Joltin' Joe DiMaggio. And while we're on the subject of Joltin' Joe, let's hear a song about him, featuring Les Brown and his Band of Renown, and Joltin' Joe makes a little guest appearance himself.
10. Billy Bragg & Wilco. "Joe DiMaggio's Done it Again"
Here's something by Billy Bragg and Wilco, from the album Mermaid Avenue, where they take the unfinished lyrics of Woody Guthrie and add music to them. Woody Guthrie, of course, was the dean of American folk artists. At the time of his death in 1967, Woody left behind some 2,700 unfinished songs. The lyrics about New York streets, film star idols, drinkin', lovin', dyin' and even spaceships were chosen because they presented a completely different aspect from Woody's public persona. Here's a song that Woody wrote about Joltin' Joe, the Yankee Clipper.
11. Teddy Reynolds. "Strike One"
We heard about Jackie Robinson earlier. This song here is about Don Newcombe. Don Newcombe really throws that ball, he winds up and throws it. He was a 6-foot-4, 225-pound fireball thrower. The only baseball player to have won Rookie of the Year three times in a row.
12. Sonny Rollins. "Newk's Fadeaway"
Sonny Rollins used to have the nickname "Newk" 'cause everyone thought he looked like Don Newcombe. Here's tenor saxophonist Sonny Rollins with his song, "Newk's Fadeaway." There's a big-league sound, covering all the bases, "Newk's Fadeaway."
13. Treniers. "Say Hey"
Alright, Cliff and Claude Trenier were twin brothers who sang with a bunch of lounge bands but branched out into rock and roll. Here they have a special guest with them by the name of Willie Mays, on their song, "Say Hey," from the Okeh Records label.
Let's check out the e-mail basket, but don't throw us a curve. Today's e-mail is from Jamie Christensen of Las Vegas, Nevada. She writes, "Dear Theme Time, I enjoy listening to the ballgames late at night. My boyfriend says the radio keeps him up. What should I do?" Well, Jamie, you should do what I used to do. When I was supposed to be asleep, I'd take the bedside radio and slip it under my pillow, press your ear close to the pillow, which is what you're supposed to do with pillows, anyway, and listen to the second game of the doubleheader, without bothering anyone else in the house. Millions upon millions used to do the same thing back when radio was king. And I hope you still do that with Theme Time Radio Hour, your private pillow pal. Thanks for your letter. Press your ear up close to the pillow, Jamie.
14. Sam Bush. "The Wizard of Oz"
Osborne Earl, that's his name, brought a whole new level to the game. That was Sam Bush. Sam is a great fiddle and mandolin player, a big session man over there in Nashville, and he's a big baseball fan. We're talkin' about Ozzie. No, not that Ozzie. We're talking about the Wizard of Oz, the MVP, Osborne Earl Smith. He was elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame in 2002. In 2003, he was inducted into the St. Louis Walk of Fame. And this year, he was played on Theme Time Radio Hour.
15. Ry Cooder. "Third Base Dodger Stadium"
16. Damn Yankees. "Heart"
Got to have heart. Got to have a lot of things. Got to have something on the brain. Got to have correct postage. You gotta have a dog you can trust. You got to have a dry hat and your lawyer's phone number. Got to have your girlfriend's credit card. You got to have it all together. You've got to have room to move. You got to have what it takes. You've got to have a hot meal and a warm place to sleep. You got to have heart. From the original soundtrack of Damn Yankees.
Well, that's it for another show, I'm going to head back to the dugout. See if I can find myself a relief pitcher. See ya again next week on Theme Time Radio Hour, the field of dreams, schemes and themes.
Posted by Lou at 11:35 AM | Permalink
The [Wednesday] Papers
Are you excited about the new Treasury chief nominee? The Tribune editorial board sure is. They love Henry Paulson Jr.. Normally I wouldn't weigh in on such a thing, but the Tribune's love letter to Paulson this morning was so off the mark it bears close analysis. Stay with me on this one.
"President Bush's nominee to be the next treasury secretary has a history of speaking truth to power," the Tribune opines. "We'd like to think that comes from the more than 20 years that Goldman Sachs Chairman and CEO Henry Paulson Jr. spent in Chicago, a town that likes bluntness.
"Bush's two prior treasury secretaries - the chief spokesmen for the president's economic and tax policies - didn't have Paulson's top-drawer reputation. It was clear from the get-go that Bush's first treasury secretary, Paul O'Neill, never really bought into the Bush economic program, particularly tax cuts; O'Neill oddly let himself become a Cabinet back-bencher during a war.
"The second, John Snow, who resigned Tuesday, was ineffective - even sour - when he was sent out to sell Bush's bold plans for revitalizing Social Security and the tax code."
I would take issue with the notion that the job of Treasury Secretary is to be a press secretary, but let's skip over that and get to the heart of the matter.
Paul O'Neill didn't have a top-drawer reputation? He was the widely-admired CEO of Alcoa. But don't take my word for it. A January 2001 editorial in the . . . Chicago Tribune . . . described O'Neill as "blunt-speaking," you know, just how Chicago likes it. In fact, the editorial was titled "Listen To Truth-Teller At Treasury."
Not only that, but the central theme of the editorial was that O'Neill had stated an uncomfortable truth at his confirmation hearing, one the paper said "President George W. Bush has yet to acknowledge: That big tax cut package Bush made the centerpiece of his campaign won't do much to boost a slowing economy."
Now the paper complains that O'Neill "never really bought into the Bush economic program, particularly tax cuts."
But back in 2001, the Trib editorial page wrote that O'Neill's economic priorities were "precisely" right, and that "the last thing President Bush should do is jerk the nation back into the dreary era of federal budgets scripted in red."
(Also, what does it mean to say, as the Trib edit does, that "O'Neill oddly let himself become a Cabinet back-bencher during a war"? What should O'Neill have done as Treasury Secretary, issue war bonds? And how is one simultaneously a back-bencher and one who is too outspoken, which got him fired? And how did the Tribune editorial board feel about the truth-telling of O'Neill's The Price of Loyalty? I'll tell you how. In a 2004 editorial, it disparaged O'Neill's central revelation - that the president was trumping up a case to invade Iraq from the moment he got into office - as old news.)
Now let's move on to John Snow: Again, the biggest criticism of Snow was his, well, bluntness, particularly in stating that the number of job losses suffered under the Bush presidency was a myth, and that the outsourcing of American jobs was good.
But to lay blame on Snow for also failing to advance the president's agenda, as the Tribune does, might lead cooler heads to consider whether it has been the president himself who has failed.
But then, the Trib editorial board is all over the map on this one. For example, the paper stated in a 2002 editorial that the job of the then-incoming Snow was "to make the president's case that tax cuts would spur economic growth" - just a year after it praised O'Neill for taking exactly the opposite tack.
At the same time, the Tribune noted that Snow was not a supply-sider and in fact was a strong critic of budget deficits.
In other words, Bush - the MBA president - twice named Treasury secretaries who were fundamentally in opposition to his economic program. And in both case, the Tribune editorial page praised the picks but later turned on them - just like the president.
This time around, the Trib is pleased as punch that Henry Paulson is so rich that he "doesn't need this job."
I'm not sure there has ever been a Treasury Secretary who "needed" the job. And certainly, O'Neill and Snow were really, really, really rich too.
In fact, the Trib gets the equation exactly backward. The job was so wanting it desperately needed Paulson. "Mr. Bush has been looking for months outside his circle but has had trouble finding someone who wanted the post so late in his term and in such an embattled administration," the Wall Street Journal reports, in just one of many accounts describing the difficulty of finding someone wanting to be the next Secretary of the Treasury of the United States of America.
Not only that, but Paulson may be the most reluctant Treasury Secretary in history. It has been widely reported by now that he had to be aggressively recruited to take the job. His arms must still be sore from all the twisting.
"Mr. Paulson accepted an invitation to have dinner with Mr. Bush in mid-April but then cancelled because he didn't want to lead the president to believe he would take the job, according to a person close to him. Among his concerns was that Treasury secretaries in this administration have had relatively little power," the Journal says. Backbenchers!
"Mr. Bush and Mr. Paulson met at the White House on Saturday, May 20. Mr. Paulson was still reluctant - but relented the next day."
It seems to me that we're in for more of the same, no matter what assurances Bush gave Paulson about how much flexibility he would have to do his job honestly. Consider this passage from The New York Times this morning: "Like Mr. O'Neill, Mr. Paulson has strong views on economic policies that support balanced budgets, which may not match with the Bush administration policies that have contributed to historic budget deficits."
Skyway to Heaven
Of course, we don't know if city workers put extra toll collectors on the Skyway to make sure the mayor didn't have to wait on his return from weekends at his Michigan cottage because the mayor ordered it (unlikely) or because they were just being tiny men (likely), but more significant is the absolute absence of any coherent defense of the mayor's boys at the Sorich trial.
Judging by the Tribune's account today, the defense has stumbled badly.
"[Defense lawyer] Cynthia Giachetti on Tuesday suggested that [former Streets and San personnel director Jack] Drumgould was so desperate to find toll collectors that he gladly took recommendations for new employees from a variety of people.
"Drumgould responded that he received plenty of names of people to hire from the mayor's office and from then-Streets and Sanitation Commissioner Al Sanchez, a leader of the pro-Daley Hispanic Democratic Organization."
Oops.
"Sorich's attorney, Thomas Anthony Durkin, pointed out that Drumgould received immunity from prosecution in exchange for his testimony even though he was involved in the alleged corruption."
[Um, you got immunity because you were in on it with my client? Doesn't that acknowledge his client's guilt?]
"You never violated a criminal statute?" Durkin asked.
"Drumgould responded that he had not but he acknowledged violating the federal Shakman decree, which prohibits political influence in hiring and promotion for most city jobs."
Oops.
Durkin tried the old but historically ineffective line that political hiring has long been a fact of life around here but is only now being prosecuted as a crime. He then tried to ask questions about the hiring policies of the late Mayor Harold Washington, who has not been charged in the case.
"Outside the presence of the jury, [U.S. District Court Judge Robert] Coar told Durkin he was 'getting way beyond what's reasonable here' and told Durkin some of his theories 'are beyond far-fetched.'"
Or, perhaps better said, it's the same defense George Ryan's lawyer, Dan Webb, tried without the style. And it's heading toward the same conclusion.
The best hope for the defense is that there is an recalcitrant juror on the panel. Or that we'll soon see the criminal backgrounds of the jurors exposed and the case will be thrown into a tizzy. But even that didn't work for Ryan, a slim chance at a successful appeal notwithstanding.
Wi-Fi Sigh
Huh. The Sun-Times published a press release from the mayor's office and accidentally put the name of one of their reporters on top of it.
But seriously, wouldn't it be great to have city-wide Wi-Fi?
Sure. But isn't it also a bit more complicated than the early reports? For example, where will the points of corruption be? Because this is Chicago; we know it will happen. Which of the mayor's pals are already setting themselves up for a slice? Who will get the contracts?
Beyond that, what kind of service will we get - will it be like cable TV? Or cell phones? Will the service just kind of blank out during high winds or aldermanic campaigns?
And is this fair to private businesses? Where is the Starbucks lobby?
All interesting questions. Far more interesting than wild assertions like a mayor "determined" do something for the poor saying "We'll be the first major city to move ahead in [bridging] this digital divide. No other city has done that in America."
The Tribune's account quotes an expert noting that Philadephia is close to launching Wi-Fi, having approved a contract with EarthLink, and that San Francisco, Portland, and Anaheim are also working on deals.
I have a feeling the digital divide question has come up in those cities as well. So unless he can back up his mouth, the mayor ought to cool the hyperbole and the press ought to stop reporting it.
Letter Carriers
"Ald. Eugene Schulter's idea to implant microchips in dogs should first be tested on Chicago aldermen," suggests Ken Marier, of Lakeview.
"When Ozzie Guillen became manager of the White Sox, he put the fun back in the fundamentals. When Dusty Baker took over the reins of the Cubs, he took the mental out of the same," observes Reese Thompson, of the Near North Side.
Both in the Sun-Times.
Katie's Cuts
All I have to say about Paige Wiser's examination of Katie Couric's various hairstyles over the years is . . . boy, Katie had a bad 90s.
All in the Sun-Times Family
The Sun-Times is a family newspaper. Today, the wife of the publisher writes a send-off column to their college-bound son. A couple weeks ago, their daughter wrote about her vacation with mom (second story in the package). What's next, a column from the family pet?
The Beachwood Tip Line: Free with purchase of an education-funding lottery ticket.
Posted by Lou at 09:22 AM | Permalink
May 30, 2006
The [Tuesday] Papers
1. Who among the two personalities appearing on the front page of the Tribune's Tempo section today is more annoying, shock-jock Erich "Mancow" Muller or shock-matron Caitlin Flanagan? The voting starts now.
2. The Tribune Company announced today that it will repurchase up to 75 million shares of common stock because, well, nobody else seems to want them. The stock buys "reflect our strong belief that Tribune's current share price does not adequately reflect the fundamental value and long-term earnings prospects of the company's businesses," said Dennis FitzSimons, the company's chairman, president and chief executive officer, in press release.
In another move, FitzSimons will send Andy MacPhail to Wall Street to berate analysts for their unfair coverage of the company.
3. Betsy Hart, whose syndicated column appears in the Sun-Times, won't read current fiction because, like, there's no way it could ever be as good as the classics. She has, however, given in to American Idol, in part because she doesn't detect any sexual innuendo on the show. I asked my senior staff for a punch line to this item, and features editor Natasha Julius responded instead with this far-better broadside:
"I've only seen American Idol once or twice, but I think we need to start the Betsy Hart Grandmother Watch, because if you can't pick up on the blatant sexual innuendo of tarted-up teenage girls caressing microphones, Paula Abdul openly drooling at anyone with a penis (although to be fair the drool may be an involuntary function of being Paula Abdul), and the faux-homophobic banter between the gayest little host in Texas and that nasty British judge, how are you going to have a clue when your children start bringing their 'friends' home to 'study' in their room with the door closed?"
4. Among the goodies in the May/June issue of the the immensely pleasureable PRINT magazine is Dave Eggers's explanation of how he came to use an Icelandic printer for McSweeney's; a historical exploration of the color orange as "a branding tool of democracy" even before the Orange Revolution; a short but appreciative look at the new album covers of Nordic death metal bands Satyricon (Now, Diabolical) and Dismember (The God That Never Was); and why Planters does a better job of retro-packaging than Band-Aid and Morton Salt.
5. If you haven't already, hoist a glass to Red Madsen.
6. I'm sure the Deep Tunnel is every bit the engineering marvel it's cracked up to be, but it took 30 years to "officially" complete the array of tunnels within the Tunnel. And the entire system won't be done for another 17 years, by one account, and 30 years by another.
I wonder who has those contracts.
7. Does this sound like just about the worse idea yet in terms of Iraqi reconstruction? "On the western bank of the Tigris River, scenes of intense activity rarely witnessed in Iraq are unfolding behind the fortified perimeter of the closely guarded Green Zone," the Tribune's Liz Sly wrote on the front page Monday.
"Trucks shuttle building materials to and fro. Cranes, at least a dozen of them, punch toward the sky. Concrete structures are beginning to take form. At a time when most Iraqis are enduring blackouts of up to 22 hours a day, the site is floodlighted by night so work can continue around the clock.
"This is to be the new U.S. Embassy in Iraq, and it will be the biggest embassy in the world. It also is the biggest construction project under way in battered Baghdad, where the only other cranes rising from the skline belong to Saddam Hussein's abandoned project to build the world's biggest mosque."
8. "People ask: Why don't they come legally? Why don't they wait in line?" Jeffrey S. Passel, a demographer at the Pew Hispanic Center, a research organization in Washington, told The New York Times. "For most Mexicans, there is no line to get in."
The Times reports that the United States offers 5,000 permanent visas worldwide each year for unskilled laborers. Last year, two of them went to Mexicans. In the same year, the Times says, 500,000 Mexicans crossed the border illegally - and most of them found jobs.
In another recent account - where I can't recall - I read that Mexicans who "wait in line" will wait for 16 years before getting a chance to emigrate. If it was your family in a desperate situation, what would you do?
9. Convicted exortionist Joe Cari's face shows up in a campaign TV ad - in California. Soon, I suspect, we'll be seeing a similar ad from the Topinka campaign.
10. CHA CEO Terry Peterson vs. Residents' Journal publisher Ethan Michaeli. Who are you apt to believe? (Midway down on the link.)
11. Fred Barbara appeals to Carol Marin. But why did she let him have his say almost all off-the-record? Marin is so good she gets the benefit of the doubt here. I'm guessing she'll put what Barbara told her to good use.
12. "The Chicago Skyway sale scores poorly in terms of the public interest," a senior fellow at Harvard's Kennedy School of Government testified recently before a U.S. House subcommittee.
But the Chicago press loves that deal, and they're the experts, right? I mean, surely they gave it a thorough going-over?
13. What George W. Bush should have said about the Swift Boating of John Kerry, if Bush were a real leader and statesman: "I'm not going to stand by and watch my opponent - a decorated war veteran and patriot who loves his country and risked his life to serve - be smeared by this ridiculous nonsense. That's not the way I want to win this election, and it's not the kind of presidency I intend to lead."
What John Kerry should have said: "If you want a fight, you've got one. I'll meet anyone anywhere at anytime to talk about the combat we saw in Vietnam. We can talk about the bodies we saw blown apart, about the limbs strewn on the field, and the emotional messes that washed up on our streets afterwards who were forgotten by our leaders. I'll meet anyone anywhere at anytime, and that includes the president, who can tell us what he was doing during the war and how he chose to serve his country."
Then again, Bush should have said in 2000 that it was clear that not only had his opponent won the popular vote, but that it was clear that a majority in Florida at least intended to vote for his opponent, and the best thing for the soul and unity of the country was for Al Gore to become the president. A moment later, he could have declared his intention to run again in 2004 and stand as the loyal opposition until then. What a wonderful world it could be - if our leaders (and the media who instead thought the statesmanlike move was for Gore to concede) weren't children.
14. Channel 5 anchor Marion Brooks gets a DART in the May/June 2006 issue of the Columbia Journalism Review for an egregious violation that should end the career of any "journalist." Here it is:
"DART to WSB-TV, the ABC affiliate in Atlanta, for discretion without valor. The recent trial of former mayor Bill Campbell on federal corruption charges raised embarrassingly belated questions about news practices at WSB-TV when a key witness named Marion Brooks described first-class trips and high-end gifts she got from the big-spending mayor during their four-year affair in the 1990s. During some of that time, Brooks was a reporter and anchor for WSB, where, according to accounts in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, the relationship was common knowledge in the newsroom - though not deemed appropriate, evidently, for public airing."
15. ABC News recently hired Charles Gibson as its new nightly news anchor. Maybe they should have hired Bob Schieffer. In fact, Schieffer and Marion Brooks would make a good match.
16. I must take issue with Tribune pop culture blogger and print writer Mark Caro on two recent points: I always took the Who lyric "Hope I die before I get old" to be metaphorical, not literal, as Caro seems to assert in his piece about Paul McCartney turning 64. I'm not sure lyricist Pete Townshend really wanted to die before a certain age. Instead, I always thought he was saying, he would rather be dead than to think old, kind of like how the Tribune tends to think.
Also, I like the song "Seasons in the Sun." And not even ironically, but for real. I like it. It touches me. I am not ashamed. And it's not a goof; it was originally written by in French by a Belgian poet-composer and reminded singer Terry Jacks, who re-arranged it, about the death of a close friend. It was also covered by Nirvana.
17. The National Review's John J. Miller says The Who's "Won't Get Fooled Again" is the best "conservative" rock song of all-time. I think he may be right, though much of the rest of his list is ridiculous. I've always had trouble with this song because it sounds to me like a broadside against the idealism of the 60s, and seems to advocate instead a cynical, punk-like withdrawal from politics and causes - otherwise known as life - in favor of sitting around by your self-absorbed self playing your guitar.
(Pete Townshend responds to Miller here. Miller catalogs other responses and adds a second round of songs here.)
18. Dump your Home Depot stock. Start shopping somewhere else, too, just to stick it to 'em.
19. I haven't seen Al Gore's new movie, but whatever you think of him he is enormously smart and talented. Can you imagine George W. Bush making a movie? Or starting a TV network? Or having a coherent policy discussion? What will a Bush post-presidency look like? It's hard to imagine him doing much of anything except sitting on a couple corporate boards or being the commissioner of Major League Baseball one day - and bungling that job too. He certainly isn't capable of writing his own book. Maybe he can join the military and learn a trade.
20. "The days of being charged $4.50 for a Diet Coke from the minibar may be coming to an end, Hotel magazine reports," according to the second item in this New York Times piece.
21. We fixed a glitch with our cool Beachwood Link Buttons. Now you can paste them all over the place.
The Beachwood Tip Line: Sort of like the Deep Tunnel, only not as deep. Or extensive. Or complicated. Or wet, really.
Posted by Lou at 08:15 AM | Permalink
May 26, 2006
A Righteous Film Fest Spans Lubbock to Northern Ireland - With A Stop At Mardi Gras
As our long nuclear winter of human rights abuses continues with authorization to build the Great Wall of the Rio Grande as well as desecration of privacy rights, particularly of the people we honor on this Memorial Day weekend, there comes a glimmer of sanity from the North Side. Beginning this evening, the Human Rights Watch Traveling Film Festival stops at Facets for a one-week engagement.
Human Rights Watch, the festival's sponsoring organization, started its international film festival in 1994, "in recognition of the power of film to educate and galvanize a broad constituency of concerned citizens." Organizers rigorously fact-check
selected films for accuracy, though no point of view is censored. Until four years ago, the festival played only in New York City and London. Recognizing that the enemy of freedom is ignorance, HRW started making a sampling of the best of the fest available to venues anywhere in the United States and Canada that wanted to host them. Facets has been showing them ever since.
The 2005-2006 selection of 12 films includes both features and documentaries. I caught two of the films on The Sundance Channel and both are worth a look. The Education of Shelby Knox focuses on the attempts of a conservative, evangelical Christian teenager to force her Lubbock, Texas, school district to offer sex education classes to stem the high rate of teen pregnancies and STDs. Shelby Knox proves that, yes, conservatives have brains, too, and can use them in the service of the common good - she's really a remarkable person. I saw Mardi Gras: Made in China on the eve of New Orleans's first such celebration after Killer Katrina drowned its streets. I became the official killjoy in my office when I rejected the beads my co-workers were handing out by saying, "I know the near-slave who burned herself putting those beads together is very happy for you." Yes, definitely don't invite me to your next party. But do see this movie.
If you've got the scratch ($75-$250), I strongly urge you to support Human Rights Watch by attending the benefit showing of Omagh on June 1 at the Museum of Contemporary Art. This feature, written and produced by Paul Greengrass, is one of the miracles I occasionally run across in my filmic adventures. Greengrass has carved an indelible niche in the film industry making docudramas about atrocities. Omagh tells of the 1998 bombing of the Northern Irish city of Omagh by a splinter group of the IRA four months after the Good Friday Accords brought peace to Northern Ireland. Although the aftermath of the bombing looks a bit like a disaster drill, the film quickly penetrates deeply into the grief and outrage of the families who lost loved ones as they seek truth and justice from their police force and elected officials. Omagh highlights how politics can often run over innocent bystanders and leaves us with questions about what actions truly serve the greater good. This film will move you and make you think. You must purchase tickets in advance by phoning (212) 216-1805.
Greengrass is also the director of another film I want to recommend, one particularly relevant to Memorial Day in its broadest context, but one that many of you may have been avoiding and possibly condemning sight unseen - United 93. I was one of the people who thought it was too soon for a movie dealing with the 9/11 tragedy. I am relieved to say that Greengrass has produced a genuine masterpiece - sensitive to a still-traumatized public, reportorial when he could have been sensational, sympathetic with the very real confusion such an unthinkable event causes its players, and ever-so-slightly critical of a president and vice president who were nowhere to be found when they were needed most. See Omagh first to assure yourself that Greengrass can be trusted with delicate material. Then, take a deep breath and go see United 93. You actually might hurt less if you do.
Posted by Lou at 03:39 AM | Permalink
The Weekend Desk Report
Savor this special Memorial Day edition of The Weekend Desk Report, if only because it tastes better than that crappy potato salad you'll politely choke down at that lame barbecue. That's no way to honor our fallen. The Papers will return on Tuesday.
Market Watch
On the Constitutional Crisis Index, separation of powers saw its stock rise considerably on news of concessions from its chief executive. Freedom of speech futures were once again sharply lower, leading some analysts to predict a sell-off. And due process staged a rally on strong consumer confidence numbers. Analysts caution, however, that the market could cool when sentencing figures are released this fall.
Sforza Italia
Silvio Berlusconi continues to insist he is the democratically-elected leader of Italy despite his opponent already having been sworn in. In keeping with tradition in these situations, he has already been booked for an appearance on Saturday Night Live.
Short-Changed
Memorial Day Weekend marks the official start of rollercoaster season (the savvy amusement park aficionado waits out spring training) and with that, America's vertically-challenged citizens suffer another round of humiliating height inspections. New this year: You must be as tall as the top bunk to gain admittance to Prisonland.
Iran Wasteland
Aching for more respect, Iran this week complained that the United States totally still treats Iran like a frickin' 5-year-old. The United States responded coolly, indicating it would treat Iran like a grownup only when Iran begins to act like one. Meanwhile, Britain is still trying to work out visitation. Both countries did admit, however, that they don't always get things right with their young democracy, even as they reiterated that whatever they do, it's only because they love Iraq so much.
Mart Smart
The city council of Hercules, California, dealt a blow to retail behemoth Wal-Mart recently by voting to seize land intended for a new store. The town cited a Supreme Court ruling supporting the use of imminent domain to protect the public from vast amounts of cheap, tacky crap. It is believed this same principle may be used in the future to shield city residents from an influx of uninspired clothing and press-board furniture every already owns.
Oil Slick
Holding a comfortable 3-1 Western Conference Championship Series lead, the Edmonton Oilers are poised to reach the Stanley Cup finals at the expense of the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim. This comes as no surprise given the lop-sided history of the oil vs. duck rivalry. While no data exists to handicap a potential Oilers-Sabres finals match-up, we can project a comfortable win for the Carolina Hurricanes should they win through in the Eastern Conference.
Posted by Lou at 03:30 AM | Permalink
Cab #3693
Date: March 26, 2006
From: Wicker Park
To: Navy Pier
The Cab: Relatively clean, but with the sound-and-feel of a workhorse, with its bumpy suspension and telltale squeaks and harrumphs. A real respectable piece of work, though, like a hard-working family cab just trying to do its best for its cab family.
The Driver:"Navy Pier!" were the only words he uttered. It was hard to tell what he meant by that. He was driving silent when he picked me up, but, perhaps upon spotting my armful of newspapers, he quickly switched on the radio - to Amy Goodman's Democracy Now!
He also wore a satisfying fishing hat that was not quite the measure of Lt. Col. Henry Blake's, but slightly better than this one.
The Driving: Full of the quick stop-and-gos that tend to make me nauseas. Poor timing of (Dunkin' Donuts) coffee-drinking imperiled safety. Fumbling for CDs almost put us into the back of a stopped school bus. Music was hard to place: Dido meets Shakira. Latin but not revolutionary.
Overall rating: 2 extended arms
- Steve Rhodes
Posted by Lou at 02:02 AM | Permalink
May 25, 2006
The [Thursday] Papers
1. City council members are seeking a $20,000 raise over the next four years because, as Ald. Bernie Stone puts it, "we deserve it."
Stone can be reached at bstone@cityofchicago.org. His ward phone number is (773) 764-5050; his City Hall phone number is (312) 744-6855.
2. "In a newly unsealed court document," the Tribune reports, "Scott Fawell says former Gov. George Ryan and he had a simple approach to the business of government: 'Looking out for friends and contributors was the overriding factor in handing out contracts and favors.'"
3. Same goes for the Daley Administration.
4. And this is as powerful a pleading as you may find as to why it matters.
5. Jackie Heard thinks she works for the mayor, but we pay her salary.
6. Jay Levine thinks he had an interview with the mayor. And he did - if he's looking for a job in the Daley Administration.
7. The Tribune Company is full of great media managers. Take this nugget deep in a Cubs commentary by Tribune Cubs beat reporter Paul Sullivan - recently dressed down by team president Andy MacPhail - on the weirdness surrounding a recent incident in which a fan threw a baseball at Cubs outfielder Jacques Jones, apparently without consequence:
"The Cubs did a masterful job of stonewalling reporters on that incident. No one except manager Dusty Baker was available to discuss it, even though a security official addressed the team the next day in a closed-door meeting.
"Cubs security officials were ordered to keep quiet, and to this day no one knows why a fan was able to throw a baseball at a player and not be held accountable for her action. Baker's explanation that the fan was simply drunk and oblivious - unable to distinguish the difference between throwing back an opponent's home run ball and throwing a ball at a Cubs player - was particularly weak."
8. (5 ILCS 460/20) (from Ch. 1, par. 2901-20). Sec. 20. Official language. The official language of the State of Illinois is English. (Source: PA 87-273.)
- via Rich Miller, The Capitol Fax Blog
9. Meribeth Mermall of the South Loop writes to the Sun-Times today: "Your May 15 editorial providing women with the 'fashion tip' to 'tuck that flab in' was insulting. I ask myself why would a major newspaper in a major city waste space, time and energy in an editorial column, no less, to let all of us know that your editorial board agrees that women should tuck in their flab? This isn't Stepford, but it sounds like your editorial board wishes it was. Grow up, and start addressing issues that really matter. Good grief!" (Second item in the link.)
10. "Couples Waiting A Little Longer To Marry," the Sun-Times reports. Key word: Little. According to the chart provided and sourced to the U.S. Census Bureau, the median age of a male's first marriage was 26.1 in 1890, compared to 27.1 in 2005. For women, the median marrying age was 22 in 1890, compared to 25.8 in 2005.
11. The mayor thinks the condition of Cook County Board President John Stroger is none of our business.
12. "The only countries I know that punish desecration of flags are China, Iran and Cuba."
- Nat Hentoff, in today's Sun-Times
13. Large McDonald's Chocolate Triple Thick Shake (32 oz): 1,160 calories.
Large Burger King Vanilla Shake (32 oz): 820 calories.
7-Eleven Super Big Gulp of Coke, (44 oz, including ice): 410 calories.
Starbucks Coffee Frappucinno, venti (24 oz): 350 calories. Add 100 calories if you get the whipped cream.
Starbucks coffee venti (20 oz.): 500 milligrams of caffeine.
An 8 oz. Red Bull: 80 milligrams of caffeine.
- The June issue of the Nutrition Action Healthletter, published by the Center For Science In The Public Interest.
14. "Appeals Judge J. Michael Luttig, a Supreme Court contender and longtime fixture of the conservative legal landscape, made a sudden announcement Wednesday that he was leaving the 4th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals immediately for the job of senior vice president and general counsel of the Boeing Co. . . .
"Luttig readily acknowledged that the low salary of federal judges was a factor in his decision. Luttig has two children approaching college age, and family obligations weighed heavily in his decision.
"After 15 years on the appeals bench, Luttig was paid $175,100 a year."
15. Fantasy air traffic controllers.
16. Jennifer Hunter, the wife of Sun-Times publisher John Cruickshank, is against young people getting jobs through connections.
17. "This is a city that never recovered from deindustrialization. Paradoxically, there has been a huge influx of yuppies who want to live in a city and have a taste for cute Belgian bistros."
- Philadephia Inquirer reporter quoted in The New York Times.
You mean it's happened in cities without mayors named Daley too?
18. The Tribune is running RedEye stories about dirty poles in El cars and the Sun-Times is running Gary Post-Tribune stories about a woman turning in a wallet with $1,200 in it. Is the news getting smaller, or just the people behind it?
19. The Voice of America pulled out of Baghdad six months ago. So the lack of good news out of Iraq is their fault.
20. Corn Cob Bob.
21.taylorhickssucks.com is coming soon. Not from us, quite unfortunately, but it's coming. And in case you were wondering, soulpatrol.com is taken.
Note From Beachwood HQ
Apologies for not posting a Wednesday Papers column yesterday afternoon as promised. I was distracted by various projects in the works to better serve you, the reader. Projects, by the way, which stand a better chance of coming to fruition if you donate to The Beachwood Reporter. Our advertising program is also almost set, and editorial improvements are on the way. If you'd like to join our cause - in tech, ad sales, various business issues, as well as editorial - drop me a note. Watch this space tomorrow for The Weekend Desk Report. The Papers will return on Tuesday.
The Beachwood Tip Line: And by tips, we mean tips.
Posted by Lou at 08:23 AM | Permalink
May 24, 2006
The [Wednesday] Papers
Note to readers: The [Wednesday] Papers will appear later today, while I attend to issues designed to enhance your Beachwood Reporter experience. In the meantime, enjoy the funkified stylings of Scott Gordon, as he describes the the scene at the University of Chicago last weekend, when George Clinton landed the Mothership in Hyde Park; paste one of our cool Beachwood link buttons on your site and anywhere else you can think of; and stir things up in our neglected forums - including telling us how we can do better. Then check back in again this afternoon for The [Wednesday] Papers.
The [Tuesday] Papers
In the two years that the paper has been investigating the city's Hired Truck program, the Chicago Sun-Times had never requested an interview with Mayor Richard M. Daley until it submitted written questions in advance of an interview that never happened regarding the paper's current series on the Roti family, reporter Tim Novak said last night on Chicago Tonight.
Hello?
Even if the mayor refused to comment for two years, that refusal should have been in every story, and in fact the mayor's refusal should have been a story in itself.
Instead, the mayor didn't even have to refuse, or spin, or otherwise dodge facing serious questions about the paper's findings. (The questions Daley faces at his frequent press conferences don't count; I can hardly think of a less productive environment for reporters to do their jobs in. Those press conferences exist for the convenience and message-massaging value to him and his administration, not for the press or the public.)
At the least, I'd like to see the Sun-Times publish the list of questions they sent to mayoral press secretary Jacquelyn Heard (a former Chicago Tribune reporter), who says she read the list but decided not to present the questions to the mayor.
Why, Jackie? Too tough?
Chicagoans deserve more - from their press and their mayor.
Roti Reading: That said, the Roti series is worth plowing through despite being an organizational mess. Because at its core it's an inside look at how the city's power interests intersect, with city government as the pivot point.
Clout Trial
The Robert Sorich case continues with a former deputy commissioner of the sewers department testifying about "a piece of shit" city worker who often left work early getting promoted because of his political work for the Daley-created Hispanic Democratic Organization, in a prime example of what prosecutors argue has been a "massive fraud" perpetrated on taxpayers by this administration.
Green Scene
Pundit extraordinaire Paul Green has a great line in an otherwise aggravating Op-Ed piece today in the Sun-Times about political favors lists. In describing the way campaign contributors seek access to officeholders in exchange for their cash, Green says: "This is the reality. Of course, Illinois is probably more realistic than any other state in the Union . . . "
The aggravating part is how Green not only continues to see nothing wrong with clout- and cash-based politics, but in fact is convinced that life can't go on without it.
Clean politics, he says, would make governing impossible.
Why? He doesn't say.
Nor does he say where he would draw the line. I mean, why even have elections? Why not just auction public offices to the highest bidders? Why not make policy the same way? I mean, if you don't have the cash, why should you have any say in how a democratic government works? We can't let everyone get in to see their elected representatives.
How such a likable, sharp and witty local observer (who was kind enough to ask me once to contribute to one of his books) can actually believe that the Chicago Way is the best way for the city to do its business is beyond me.
Second That Emo Shun
In a post to his blog responding to the Tribune's recent emo report, and my criticism of it, Lake County Coroner Richard Keller agrees that emo groups on MySpace "aren't necessarily a bad thing" because they can function as support groups; explains why "cutting" is highly unlikely to result in accidental death; and says that while the Tribune describes kids who think mental illness is "ultra-cool," in his experience mental illness is still seen as a stigma.
Offensive Attack
Does Sun-Times letter-writer Sonja Dalton of Barrington have a point?
"[Suburban high school board member] Leslie Pinney is not asking that seven books be 'banned.' ('7 Deadly Books? Talk Of Ban Hits Burbs') She is recommending that books not be placed on a required reading list," Dalton writes today.
"I challenge the Sun-Times: If materials at culturecampaign.com are innocuous, print them in the newspaper for adults to read. I wonder why you wouldn't do that. Oh, it's because newspaper editors don't think profanity and explicit depictions of sex with oneself, sex with the same sex and the opposite sex, forcible sodomy, oral sex and sex with a dog are 'appropriate' for their adult readers."
I think she does have a point. But it's more about newspaper editors than school reading lists.
Sherman's March
Whatever anyone may have thought about him, Sherman Skolnick was a true character. He died in his sleep on Sunday, and Mark Konkol got his obit just right.
Dempster and North
If anyone can sort out who said what and who misquoted whom, let me know. But in the meantime, check out the far more important news from The Score - Mike North's interview with Tribune Cubs beat writer Paul Sullivan about team president Andy MacPhail's view of how a sister subsidiary ought to act.
Papers Chase
Catch up with The [Sunday] Papers and The [Monday] Papers.
And don't forget to donate to The Beachwood Reporter. You will be put on our clout list and qualify for fabulous prizes.
The Beachwood Tip Line: Even if nobody sent you.
Posted by Lou at 06:41 AM | Permalink
May 23, 2006
Feeling the Funk: U of C's Dorkadelica
They gave up the secrets of the atom, but can they give up the funk?
George Clinton and his P-Funk All-Stars headlined this year's Summer Breeze, the University of Chicago's annual private outdoor party, on Saturday night. One thing to avoid here, because it's misleading, is the funk-dork comparison. Saturday was the first time I'd ever seen a Wikipedia T-shirt, a Very Large Array T-shirt, or a "The Gates" t-shirt, but the truth is that even students at a prestigious university have a way of melding nerdiness into passable coolness. On the U of C's campus, one sees all the normal college types, from the squirmy dork types to the kinda-skanky precocious beauties, and lots of neutral-looking cargo shorts-and-sandals boys and casually dignified girls in between. Remember, most of these people had to survive high school.
Walking around the campus before the show opened, I felt like I was on any one of the other college campuses I've visited. Students lined up at booths to buy hamburgers and get their faces painted, or played around in a few of those inflatable bounce-houses (see, even U of C kids can act like toddlers!). A couple of students pranced around on a small stage and sang to some pre-recorded beats (think Dismemberment Plan and Postal Service collaborating after a severe stroke). I sat down in a nearby quad and soon got hit with a Frisbee.
As students started filtering in to the courtyard, the familiarity hit me even harder, beaming me so many weeks back to my own college days. Here were all the personality and style staples, churning my memory: The guy in flattened dreds and a Jack Johnson T-shirt; guys my age wearing deck shoes; the budding politician in chinos and a conservative dress shirt; scruffy young men greeting each other with muscular, stiff-backed handshakes. As a student at Northwestern, I used to take them for granted, especially at the annual Dillo Day outdoor concert and smaller concert-hall performances by artists like Rufus Wainwright. As sometimes happened at Northwestern, the U of C's activities board adamantly kept Summer Breeze private, even refusing outside press (I ended up buying a ticket through a student), and only now did I understand the result: A concert full of people who didn't seem to belong at concerts.
The less than a thousand kids who attended the show, in a fairly small courtyard behind the student union, had the bands to themselves, and I think that's where most of the enthusiasm came from. Sure, they showed plenty of enthusiasm for the music itself, but it often waned, and much of it depended on very specific conditions. All the artists had a fair number of fans in the crowd, but for the most part, college audiences don't come to college shows just to see the specific artists. They come because it's basically a party thrown just for them. If they enjoy the music itself, it's because they can break it down into a few specific elements they can relate to. I doubt they liked P-Funk enough to pay three or four times the student price ($15) and ride a bus for an hour to see them somewhere else.
Growing up with a generation that's compacted Dave Matthews, Bob Marley, Phish, and countless rap and soul artists into one crude and vague category, I realize that high school and college kids will dig anything they can associate with smoking pot and/or raunchy sex. And if funk's not about pot and raunchy sex, with a friendly glaze of universal love, then it's not about anything.
On the other hand, the Maroonies liked supporting DJ RJD2's concoctions insofar as they sounded like ballin' and clubbin' music, and they liked opener Dar Williams's songs for their coy suggestions of weirdness. Williams sounds so much like a cutesy open-mic singer in Purgatory that that's really all there is to enjoy, by the way. Songs like "Babysitter's Here" (about a hippie babysitter) are about as fun as listening to your friend tell you about this really weird David Sedaris story he heard about from his other friend.
Getting back to pot, it wasn't until about two hours into the show, during RJD2's set, that the smoke of a joint floated over from somewhere inside the crowd. The dancing was even more lame. Granted, RJD2 would be hard to dance to anyway, as he's constantly shifting between dozens of rhythms and hooks during his near-continuous set, but the students didn't attempt anything beyond brief little joke dances. In other words, dancing was something to do for 10 seconds and giggle about for 30. The whole evening, I only saw one couple bumping and grinding - a pair of chunky lesbians near the back of the crowd.
RJD2's set reminded me of a private Zwan/Queens of the Stone Age concert I attended at Northwestern in 2003. As the Queens ripped into their set, about 100 people near the stage started thrashing. Behind us, about a thousand Northwestern kids stood deathly still, and someone screamed "YOU SUCK!" at Nick Oliveri as he screeched out the lyrics to "You Think I Ain't Worth a Dollar, But I Feel Like a Millionaire."
Allmusic's Stephen Thomas Erlewine wrote that the Queens are "so concerned with pleasing themselves with what they play that they don't give a damn for the audience," but that's what makes them fun. The P-Funk are just the opposite. Despite the musical talent they cram onstage, they put most of their effort into the usual crowd-rousing techniques: call-and-response; "HOW YA DOIN' CHICAGO! SAY WHAT?"; getting people to clap their hands to the beat; wearing costumes that included a diaper and massive red and white fur coats and hats; admittedly awesome 10-minute guitar solos; and advocating sex, pot and fashionable political positions.
Clinton seemed fiercely determined to make the students participate. The crowd usually delivered during the many call-and-response sessions, especially when it came to the more familiar and catchy party-funk singles.
CLINTON: To the window! To the walls! Till The sweat run down my balls! [Holds microphone out to audience]
STUDENT HORDE: Gee-gee-gee-gee-gee-gee-god-damn! Gee-gee-gee-gee-gee-gee-god-damn!
But when the audience failed to respond, Clinton shushed his backup singers, repeated his part, and angrily stabbed his microphone back out toward the audience. Maybe I'm wrong about this, but he seriously looked pissed the few times this happened.
There was really only one moment of drama for the picky Funkadelic fan: A 10-minute performance of "Maggot Brain," a heroic guitar solo that begins, on the album Maggot Brain, with this incantation from Clinton: "Mother Earth is pregnant for the third time, for y'all have knocked her up. I have tasted the maggots in the mind of the universe, and I was not offended, for I knew I had to rise above it all, or drown in my own shit." Unlike P-Funk's many infectious party slogans, this did not raise a holler, familiar as it must be to many Clinton fans. One can't expect everybody else to enjoy music in a specific way, but it's discouraging when an audience wants to be entertained without being surprised or intrigued.
If the activities board had sold, say, a couple hundred tickets to the general public, the courtyard would have been packed and the streets outside crawling with fans trying to scrape up tickets. If this Marie Antoinette audience must play milkmaid for a day, why not let some peasants in to enrich the experience? The U of C crowd didn't quite manage to fill up the modest square in front of the stage. Which also makes the board's refusal to issue press passes seem exceedingly absurd. Sure, it's their business if they want to arrange a private event. But why flag down the Mothership if you can't give it a fitting welcome?
Posted by Lou at 10:10 AM | Permalink
The [Tuesday] Papers
In the two years that the paper has been investigating the city's Hired Truck program, the Chicago Sun-Times had never requested an interview with Mayor Richard M. Daley until it submitted written questions in advance of an interview that never happened regarding the paper's current series on the Roti family, reporter Tim Novak said last night on Chicago Tonight.
Hello?
Even if the mayor refused to comment for two years, that refusal should have been in every story, and in fact the mayor's refusal should have been a story in itself.
Instead, the mayor didn't even have to refuse, or spin, or otherwise dodge facing serious questions about the paper's findings. (The questions Daley faces at his frequent press conferences don't count; I can hardly think of a less productive environment for reporters to do their jobs in. Those press conferences exist for the convenience and message-massaging value to him and his administration, not for the press or the public.)
At the least, I'd like to see the Sun-Times publish the list of questions they sent to mayoral press secretary Jacquelyn Heard (a former Chicago Tribune reporter), who says she read the list but decided not to present the questions to the mayor.
Why, Jackie? Too tough?
Chicagoans deserve more - from their press and their mayor.
Roti Reading: That said, the Roti series is worth plowing through despite being an organizational mess. Because at its core it's an inside look at how the city's power interests intersect, with city government as the pivot point.
Clout Trial
The Robert Sorich case continues with a former deputy commissioner of the sewers department testifying about "a piece of shit" city worker who often left work early getting promoted because of his political work for the Daley-created Hispanic Democratic Organization, in a prime example of what prosecutors argue has been a "massive fraud" perpetrated on taxpayers by this administration.
Green Scene
Pundit extraordinaire Paul Green has a great line in an otherwise aggravating Op-Ed piece today in the Sun-Times about political favors lists. In describing the way campaign contributors seek access to officeholders in exchange for their cash, Green says: "This is the reality. Of course, Illinois is probably more realistic than any other state in the Union . . . "
The aggravating part is how Green not only continues to see nothing wrong with clout- and cash-based politics, but in fact is convinced that life can't